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Pierconick, (A.K.A Mindthemoods), is an ordinary person who lives in an ordinary sewer with thirty seven weasels, all of which are named Larry. When not fending off mutant abominations, he passes his excessive amount of free time by obsessively playing Minecraft for days on end in the nightless confines of his subterranean lair, until he collapses from exhaustion and desperately travels to the mysterious surface world to scavenge for food and avoid sanitation workers. He is slightly older than you are, and far better looking, despite living in a sewer.

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Weasels, Modding, Hyperbole, etc.