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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Sharpshooters seem pretty underpowered. Their pathetic health means that they can maybe get two shots off before they die. And their range-based abilities are useless in a game where range doesn't matter. They should have more abilities that focus on increasing damage output and taking less damage.


    I turret suppress the embodiment.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Can we repeat attacks that miss for full creativity damage?


    I challenge the second grunt to a game of chess. The grunt, having placed third in a chess tournament of his local chess club, sneers menacingly and accepts my offer. Unfortunately for him, I didn't challenge him to chess, as in chess the board game. I challenged him to C.H.E.S.S. - that is, Crushing Heads Effortlessly in a Schutzstaffel Shower. A team of ninjas quickly assembles the playing field - a row of disembodied heads on two conveyor belts inside a traditional German gas chamber, similar to the type used to remove unruly tourists during Oktoberfest. The grunt and I face each other, hands ready to receive the rolling craniums, and a referee fires a blank into the air. The grunt is moving like a demon, smashing heads like nobody's business - but I'm a professional at C.H.E.S.S., and introduce my top strategy onto the playing field. I contort my body into a scissor-like form, and crush one conveyor belt of heads between my thighs, while working away at another conveyor belt with my arms, effectively doubling my head smash rate. The crowd (composed of the other grunt, the lieutenant, and several ghosting spectators) goes wild at my shenanigans, and the grunt on the other side of the gas chamber growls and puts his own technique into effect. He clambers onto the running conveyor belt and runs across it, knocking loose heads everywhere and driving up his own head crush rate by three times! A clunky way of doing things, no doubt, but still very effective. The crowd goes wilder. Top C.H.E.S.S. players are taking notes of this new strategy and integrating it into their own. Talking heads across the country are nuts and shacks over this dark horse maneuver. I hiss and smash a head extra hard in fury, then enact my double-top mega-ultra-dyna-secret strategy into position. First, I stretch my legs into a full split, then pull them across two conveyor belts at the same time. Then I bend over backwards and stretch my arms out, hitting two more conveyor belts. The heads are tumbling off the belts and splattering on the floor at a full four times the speed of one single smasher, but I'm not done yet. I grab one of the gas chamber shower heads with my mouth and blow into it. The Zyklon B stored in the pipes is blown backwards into the pumps, rupturing them. The pumps explode, sending shrapnel flying everywhere. Skulls all around the arena are punched straight through, sending my head count crashing into the tens of thousands. The grunt is fed up and just walks over and smashes my head. Turns out my head is made of antimatter, and he loses a few thousand points. The judges rush over and boot him out of the showers for gross misconduct. I am also part chicken, so I win and am afforded the luxury of shooting the grunt with my machine gun. My head also grows back with liberal application of HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Air-horn Quest

    Wonder why your creator speaks Every Word In Caps. It's an interesting philosophical question that might generate your own black hole.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Adventures of Nameless Nameful the Paint.net Guy

    Deflect the bullet with your Spanish. Everyone knows Spain is immune to bullets.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    I do this.

    (The tank now has a much lower chance of eating someone every turn. You can still climb in manually though.)

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Is 9+10 REALLY 21?

    Pfft! I can do that.


    x = 9

    y = 10

    z = 21


    x + y = z

    9 + 10 = 21


    It's not true in the slightest, but I made 9 + 10 = 21, which is the only thing that matters.

    Posted in: General Off Topic
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    posted a message on The Conflagrationlunatic's Adventures in the Snow-Capped Mountains of Arizona
    Quote from Sokpopuettakountt »
    get the knife



    This knife isn't the best weapon, but it'll do in a pinch. The pinch, in this case, is having a weapon at all.

    You equip it into your melee slot.



    Orange Conflagrationlunatic

    HP: [===============] (150/150)

    Primary: None

    Secondary: None

    Melee: Butterknife (15 damage)

    Backpack: None (0/12 items)

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Conflagrationlunatic's Adventures in the Snow-Capped Mountains of Arizona

    (This is a standard MS Paint Adventure. Issue commands to do things, like "grab that water bottle" or "shoot the demon with your pistol".)


    You are the orange Conflagrationlunatic, and today you feel infuriated. Infuriated because some bonehead left a mess on the table after breakfast, and they left the stove on too, which is wasting the gas that's so expensive up here. But you can almost forgive the stove. You've more than once stared at it for an hour and then got called to battle and forgot to turn it off. But if someone, even if it's not you, lights all of 1fort on fire, both the orange and the purple teams will probably beat you and the other guy up. The breakfast is unforgivable, though, and someone will pay.


    Someone will pay later, because you've left your weapons outside in the frigid snow for whatever reason. You should go find some. There are probably a few in this kitchen.


    Orange Conflagrationlunatic

    HP: [===============] (150/150)

    Primary: None

    Secondary: None

    Melee: Fists (5 damage)

    Backpack: None (0/12 items)

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Adventures of Nameless Nameful the Paint.net Guy

    Make fan fiction of the shadow!

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    Crazytobuild is the only other person with Team Fighting charged up. You should usually only use it when two or three others are ready, especially if they're regularly active, for a larger chance of someone joining.


    i take the level 20 creator and push him somewhere else. That somewhere else happens to be an incinerator. While he's screaming in pain, I suddenly realize that, in quick succession:

    1. Level 20 creator = very strong
    2. Very strong creator = buff person with muscles
    3. Muscles = meat
    4. Meat is not eaten by vegetarians
    5. Vegetarians say that they're vegetarians as much as they can
    6. That's called bragging
    7. Bragging = Bing + Rag + an annoying extra G
    8. Bing = The Devil
    9. Rag = A type of dance
    10. Bragging = The Devil's Dance
    11. And everyone knows the Devil's dance is the MACARENA, because of how addictive and infectious it is
    12. Macarena = moving your arms
    13. Arms = guns
    14. Guns = Fox News
    15. Fox News = The Devil
    16. Level 20 creator = THE DEVIL

    And just look at this proof!

    But that's not all!

    1. See the egg up there?
    2. Egg = a chicken's period
    3. Period = end of a sentence
    4. Chicken's period = the end of a sentence that doesn't want to be the end of a sentence
    5. You know who else doesn't want to be the end of a sentence? The opposite of a jailbird.
    6. Jailbirds eat jailworms
    7. Jailworms = Jared Fogle
    8. Fogle = Focal
    9. Focal = Spectacles
    10. Spectacles were invented by Benjamin Franklin
    11. Benjamin Franklin is on the $100 bill

    https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://img.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-switch/files/2013/10/Screen-Shot-2013-10-08-at-9.30.28-AM.png&w=1484

    Do you see it?

    Level 20 Creator = Fox News = $100 Bill = Benjamin Franklin = The Devil


    I scream at this realization, and throw religious icons at the level 20 creator - I mean level 20 THE DEVIL in an attempt to ward him off. Obviously he is not actually the devil, but those religious icons are pretty dang hard and pokey. Just look at the Star of David, and tell me that wouldn't hurt to be hit with.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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