• 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I open the crate.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I sneakily hand my bribe to the cyber soldier. "I think you know what this is for." Unfortunately, the cyber soldier is a robot, and proceeds to shoot me and destroy the money. However, a passing treasurer is offended that the cyber soldier destroyed some perfectly good money, and builds an exact replica of the cyber soldier, who destroys the first one and joins our side.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I plug in 3 and shoot the captain.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I use my glue gun on the Enforcer captain and put 2 in the crate.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    HP, Built to Last. Put up barricade and hide behind it. Enter 1 in the locked crate. If we can just go around these guys, I do that instead.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I crouch down. An agile grunt thinks that someone is coming to push him over me into traffic, so he starts frantically looking around and waving his gun at anybody who comes near. While he's distracted, I push him over me into traffic.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Hellborn Claw, hard. Enter A in the datapad.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Swap my weapon for Flash Cannon, talk to Orion guy.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I avoid this confrontation completely.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I knock the lieutenant around with my minimum damage.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Suppress the normal lieutenant.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I reach into my pocket. The crackshot lieutenant, expecting a burst of pocket sand, covers his eyes. However, I instead take out a caliper and carefully measure the lieutenant's width. He sucks in his breath, hoping to appear thinner, because he has massive self-image problems. Unfortunately for the lieutenant, I was measuring him to see what size coffin he would fit in, since he is going to die. The lieutenant is insulted that we think so lowly of him, and says so to my face. I ignore him and measure the width of his face. He juts his jaw out and scrunches up his face in order to look good for the face coffin measurements I'm taking, but it turns out I was just trying to see if I could fit his face onto a phone so we could take a selfie together. We proceed to take a selfie together. I proceed to inundate the selfie with basic white girl filters. The lieutenant is insulted that I felt that he needed filters to look good, but I explain that he looks good already, and the filters are actually coffee filters, and my phone is a coffee machine, and we're office workers in the break room. The lieutenant is momentarily confused, but beams because of my compliment, then sniffs the air. He asks me if I'm drinking pumpkin spice coffee. I reply that the coffee filter company came up with basic white girl coffee filters that turn normal coffee into pumpkin spice coffee. The lieutenant's eye pupils turn into dollar signs because he recognizes a chance to profit from this new invention. The dollar signs are metaphorical, but the dollars he makes by selling pumpkin spice coffee filters are real, because he made a coffee filter corporation and sold a lot of pumpkin spice filters just now. Unfortunately, there was a mix-up at the coffee filter plant, and they made pumpkin spice coffin filters instead. Thousands of basic white girls die of drinking pumpkin spice coffins. It seems like his superior aim of 80 did nothing to help with his eyesight, as aim is just a game abstraction, not anything to do with the real life. The crackshot lieutenant curses his misfortune, but realizes that he can sell pumpkin spice coffins to the families of the dead people. However, in the middle of him negotiating the deal, I sneak into his office and sabotage his design plans, making the pumpkin spice coffins coffee again. The thousands of corpses are summarily boiled and roasted to delicious overpriced perfection. The basicosity of all of the dead people and the corpse coffee and the coffins emits into the air as a cloud of pure basicness. In other words, pure hydroxide polyatomic ions. The hydroxide cloud sweeps over the Earth, destroying everything, including the aliens currently in control of the Earth. Fortunately for the crackshot lieutenant, he is hiding in a bunker and escapes the massacre. Unfortunately for the crackshot lieutenant, I throw a handful of pocket sand in his face. It's coarse and rough and irritating and gets everywhere.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Move to evac point. Also, I nurse my wounds, by rubbing a nurse on them. The nurse is coated with a fine layer of mummy powder, and the curse of the mummy is rubbed into my body. The mummy's ancient black magic curses the wounds to forever be stalked by a mummy. A bunch of mummies come out of the ground and start shambling toward my wounds. My wounds freak out and run away, leaving my body.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I reload and suppress the captain.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • 0

    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I grab the Skyrim-quoting captain's firebomb and apply Sarah Palin to it, turning it into a palindrome. A man, app, Roc C, the firebomb, ol' lob mob, erife, HTC Corp - Panama! The captain is beset by a roc, a mob throwing things, and an electronics company, causing him to back right into the Panama Canal, extinguishing his energy sword.

    Posted in: Forum Games
  • To post a comment, please .