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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    I realize that the standard zombie has six fingers. The six-fingered zombie that killed my father was the nemesis that I trained for for over fifty years. I question the zombie about why he has six fingers, just in case, and the zombie replies, "Oh, I got this extra finger from ripping it off some guy's father I was killing. I think his name was, like, Kaeboinc, forty-four forty-four, zero oh, or something like that." So I decide to make him pay. By having him hire me as an accountant, and then I fudge his numbers, causing him to think he's in serious debt to the bank, and give them all his money. Oh, did I mention that I trained for over fifty years as an accountant?

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    I grab the lag spikes and impale a few zombies with them.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    I punch a zombie.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    I activate Team Fighting, and cry out, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea!" The guardians, due to their undersea knowledge, do know who live in a pineapple under the sea - Spongebob Squarepants. But...

    1

    2

    3

    All these puns make the guardians explode into bursts of pain and thorns. The thorns fly everywhere and inject all the other enemies with the realization that Spongebob is Illuminati threefold! Then they all have brain aneurysms.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Brothers in Harms [WWII Text Adventure]

    Potshot officer #2.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    Or, perhaps, the Crossed-Bow! You can switch it a total of three times between the Bolter/Crossbow/whatever, and the Crusader's Crossbow!


    I unleash the fury of that godawful pun in the form of a godawful pan, which I attack an enemy with. With which I attack an enemy.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    I think Pricey wants to upgrade the Doctor's Musket to a Crusader's Crossbow, which always hits, 1.5x minimum health, 1.5x minimum damage, but costs more.


    Anyway, I Poison 4 myself, then push a napalm zombie over and sit on its face. The napalm zombie is promptly banned from Britain. Unfortunately, Britain is where the napalm zombie kept his life force when he turned into a zombie, so now since he can't be anywhere near, his remaining life force is severed from him and he dies.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Brothers in Harms [WWII Text Adventure]

    Potshot Infantryman #2.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    I fire an arrow at a guardian, hoping to bypass its thorns. However, the arrow sticks itself directly on top of a thorn, splitting it in half and dealing no damage! I'm like, "Whaaat?" The guardian laughs at my simultaneous superior and inferior aiming skills. But suddenly, the arrow halves fall on the ground, halving the ground! The guardian falls into the gigantic crevice that has opened in the earth, and hits a bunch of stuff on the way down, like boulders and tree roots and sharp rocks and exposed hammer heads pointing upwards. But the guardian's thorns protect it, and the boulders and roots and rocks and hammer heads are all destroyed by the thorns' amazing counterattack powers! The guardian falls into the core of the planet, but all of the stuff his thorns demolished turns into small, but sharp debris, that also falls into the core! The debris is sucked around into orbit around the core, but the guardian is too heavy, so it falls into the very center of the gravity field. This increased mass shakes all the debris out of orbit, and it all falls on the guardian, crushing it under a small planetoid of material! The gravity of the core increases, causing the rocks and such around it to gravitate into the core, crushing the guardian even further! Then the rocks increase the gravity more, causing more stuff to fall on the guardian, and eventually, the surface of Minecraftia has shrunk by several feet downwards.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    Attack up, generically attack a zombie.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    I heal someone.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    I decide that ordinary creeper SQUAD stands for ordinary creeper Semi-Quaternary Underwater/Air Division. Semi-Quaternary is semi-true, as they have five people, but I doubt that they are an amphibious division, and try to divide them by 7 while holding their heads underwater. They turn into five creepers with about 4.2857 health each. Also, they turn into drowned creepers, taking out that last 4.2857 bit of health.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Outpost Defenders III: Digital Warfare

    I smash a delicious, nutritious turkey into someone hurt's mouth.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Brothers in Harms [WWII Text Adventure]

    I wait until Field Medic #1 isn't looking, and then quickly aim in at his chest. I look for any areas that he's not protecting, carefully track my rifle towards those areas, and then fire twice at his direction.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The Infinite War(DISCONTINUED)

    I read the forums.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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