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    posted a message on Item Fight 3: Bigger, Better, The Opposite of Badder

    I stick a laser gun through a bowler hat and use some MTT essence to convert it into a robot that will shoot enemies hands-free.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I move to the right, place down a turret, and take cover.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I heal Pricey.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I consume the consumed entity. As it is already consumed, placing it at a minimum value of -2,147,483,648 on the consumed scale, the entity drops 1 consummation into -2,147,483,649. Unfortunately, this causes the consumed entity to roll over and become 2,147,483,647 on the scale, turning into an unconsumed entity with 2,147,483,647 consumes left. Assuming that a consume is 2 cubic inches based on the average human mouth size, this puts the unconsumed entity at approximately 7 cubic kilometers of volume, which is as tall as a skyscraper and as wide as San Marino. The entity laughs at how easily it can crush us puny humans, then immediately collapses under its own weight and dies thanks to the square-cube law. Magically, another consumed entity exactly like the first shows up, but with less health.


    I then reload.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I use my Christmas Tree on the consumed entity.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Follow beeping.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I shoot the lieutenant.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I suppress the captain.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I build and hide behind a barricade.


    You should have a meter or something that tells us exactly how many waves there are and how close we are to the objective of the mission.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I heal engie.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I get under cover and subdue the officer.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I get under cover and pick the officer's pocket, acquiring his wallet, his phone, a paper clip, a grocery shopping list, and a wheel of cheese. The officer notices me crouched behind him and lets out a cry of surprise, but I pickpocket his cry of surprise too. Inside the cry, I steal the "ry of sur" and the "e to", leaving behind only a c pris o. The officer is angered by this, and tries to let out another cry of surprise, but he can only release c pris os. He grabs at his wallet in my hands, but I rebuff him by threatening to break his phone. He lunges at me, weapons bristling, but I skillfully dodge. I wave the officer's shopping list like a matador waves a red flag, and secretly bend the paper clip behind the list so the point sticks out behind it. The officer stamps his foot on the ground, exhales, runs toward the list, and impales himself on his own paper clip. Unfortunately, it's only a paper clip, and the officer is merely irritated. I offer him some money to calm him down. He notices that the money is not human money, like one would expect me to have, but instead the Coalition Bux minted by only the Coalition. The officer accuses me of using money from his wallet to bribe him, which I say yes to, because I really just counterfeited them, which is more of a crime than stealing someone's wallet. The officer notices that I'm lying abut something, and attacks me again, but I quickly fashion my ry of sur and my e to into a rye oftosur and brandish it at the charging foe. In his rage-addled state, the officer mistakes the oftosur as an officer, and attempts to convince the oftosur to attack me, but it doesn't respond, as it is made out of grain. The officer looks twice, and realizes the alleged officer's true nature. He arrests the oftosur for impersonation of a Coalition officer and takes it to Coalition court. Unfortunately for the Coalition, they are all allergic to rye, and everyone involved (except the oftosur, of course) breaking out into hives and swelling. While the Coalition courtroom is incapacitated with anaphylactic shock, I waltz in and collect the Officer's possessions, but become upset when I find only two Coalition Bux and a half-eaten slice of American cheese, with the plastic still on it. I offer the officer my wheel of cheese to console him, and he gets so aggravated that he explodes.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Jagged Engine, hard.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Interrogation and supply cache.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I punch both enemies at once. If that doesn't kill one of them, I reverse time and punch the sniper with two fists.

    Posted in: Forum Games
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