Quote from DiamondIngot
Name: Jordan Grey
Gift: I can control my density, allowing me to become dense enough to break most walls(1), and so fluid-y that I can escape through the smallest of holes. The total amount of change done to my density/appearance effects how long the state can be held. Right now, the powers are weak and untrained, but with time and practice they can become better
Weakness: when going fluid-ish if I spread to far apart as a puddle, or stretch to far at the rubbery density well...... (insert mental image here)(2). It requires a lot of concentration, so distractions can revert me back to my original appearance. (which is why i carry a sword).The total amount of change done to my density/appearance effects how long the state can be held (the greater the change, the shorter the length of time i can hold the state). Right now, the powers are weak and untrained.
Appearance: my influence over my density allows me to look however I want(3), although I usually stay around 5'4", blond hair, blue eyes. Likes wearing shorts & t-shirts no matter the weather
with blond hair and blue eyes
Personality: joking and light hearted, but also realistic. Tends to make many sarcastic comments.
History: I was born in Texas, and lived with my grand parents because my parents had died in a "car wreck"(4) when i was 3. At age 9 the ETG found me and took me away, their reason being "his lineage makes him dangerous"(5). When i turned 12, i had found my power, and the ETG had told me about my past(6), and my ancestors. But the ETG did not know i had unlocked my power, I kept it secret.(7) I had memorized the gaurd schedule(8), and when they became lazy(9), at the end of the 1 a.m. shift, I took the chance to escape. I hid in the woods, until 5 months ago when you found me and brought me to Derika. The seclusion in the woods didn't give me much practice, so my powers are untrained, and my focus terrible (and being ADHD doesn't help(10)). So i request the help of one of your elders, your leaders, to train me.
Equipment: my clothing, a sword & sheath. (can turn my limbs into weapons such as swords, clubs, etc.(11)
1. Breaking walls? HOw does that have anything to do with his density? A large density would result in impenetrability, not super-strength, although I suppose if Jordan was thrown into the wall he could maybe break it. Although, that would require him to be extremely dense, probably so much so that A. nobody could lift him even with a Gift, and B. he couldn't move. That's what happens when you get dense, you get heavy and you can't walk.
2. -Error occured: Mental Image not found-
3. What. How does that have anything to do with changing density? He can't change volume. Maybe he could manipulate the shape of his face a tiny bit, but that brings into question: What happens to his internal organs when he goes liquid? His eyes? His ears? Nose? Can he still feel, see, taste, hear, etc.? If so, how? If not, how does he maneuver at all? If someone stepped in Puddle Jordan, would there be little vital pieces of Jordan all over?
4. I don't like this. Based on the quotation marks, you imply this to be caused by the ETG. However, unless his parents' Gifts caused them to die rather than be taken captive, it would be much more likely that the ETG would attempt to take them captive.
5. If at this point he doesn't have a Gift, I don't see what the ETG would find in him, unless they wanted to brainwash him and/or make him a Synth. However, that his lineage makes him dangerous isn't really a good reason. Some gifts are hereditary, true, but not all people will unlock their Gifts in their lifetime under normal circumstances.
6. Why would they tell him why they killed his parents? From that statement, that's the impression that I get. If they’re trying to brainwash him, they wouldn’t tell him that. If they had to tell him his parents were dead, then they could say that they were killed because they were evil or corrupt, and as he had no idea due to his age when they died, he would be inclined to believe them.
No. Just no. That is lazy writing, I’m sorry, but it is. They would know. ETG is better than that. They have telepaths, they have Gift thieves, they have people who could find out at a drop of a hat if Jordan manifested his Gift. Please, please, please don’t do that.
7. Who says they have a schedule? What if another Gifted had already escaped because they used a schedule? Maybe the head of the base Jordan was captured at really didn’t like schedules. In any case, that’s not a particularly good reason for him to be able to escape.
8. In the ETG, laziness means death or extremely severe punishment. ETG guards do not get lazy.
9. Who is you? Is you me? Is you a character? If so, who? Is you you the RPer? Please elaborate on this “you” and what happened to them.
10. Being ADHD is no excuse for not being able to do something. In this RP, there is at least one ADHD person. I’m not saying who, they can say if they so desire. This person might not take offense at that little parenthetical statement. But I do in their defense. It is extremely ableist to say that simply because someone has ADHD that they can’t learn something well. ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Attention deficit means that you can’t focus on something easily for a long time. So? You take lots of little breaks and learn it in little pieces. I have taught ADHD children before and they learned well. It took time, but what doesn’t?
11. How does that have anything to do with you stated power?
Quote from chocolate cake
Just thanks to this, I'm making a new character. I don't know how long I'll keep them, though.(1)
Name: Brendan Horden.
Gift: Greatly enhanced strength and resistance. Enough strength to crush bones with ease, and enough resistance to perhaps shrug off minor knife wounds or small attacks. By resistance, I mean his skin is harder, and more difficult to break.
Weakness: Brendan has a literal Achille's heel(2). His heel is actually very weak to attack. Nobody knows why. And yes, I am actually that unoriginal when it comes to weaknesses.
Personality: Brendan has been effectively brainwashed by years of ETG teachings, and he now has no doubt that it is the ETG who are in the right and the Gifted who are in the wrong. He is sure that the capture, torture, interrogation and occasional executions are for the Gifted's own right, and that he is doing them a favour. Thanks to this, he is always very positive and upbeat(3), a quality which regularly annoys the hell out of his 'coworkers.'
Appearance: Brendan is a medium height, kind of chunky guy. Most of his weight is muscle, though. He has black, scruffy hair and dark brown eyes that match. He usually wears the standard ETG uniform over the top of a special suit of body armour that was made specially for him to enhance his natural resistance even further. This covers his torso, and his limbs, leaving his hands, feet, head, and most importantly, his heels less protected.
Biography: Brendan was born into an ETG family, then he was taken by his father to live in an ETG base along with him. He grew up there, and he was officially recruited not long after. He's worked there for many years, and he should know most of the ETG people in this roleplay. This might need mroe detail, but I've given most of the important stuff.(4)
Equipment: Nothing much, just his uniform, body armour, and about thirty trophies hes collected from Gifted hes brung in before. Every Gifted he captures/kills, he takes something from(5), be it a picture in their pocket, a credit card, or a patch from their coat.
1. Anyway, glad I could inspire you to write this, although how many characters would you have if he got accepted...?
2. You’re right, that weakness is unoriginal. And not very good of a weakness. In this day and time, that would be very easy to defend; just wear a good pair of strong boots. In Achilles' time, everyone wore sandals, therefore a weak heel could be a problem. In this day and age? Not so much.
3. Yesssss, a positive ETG ^.^
4. I feel like that bio lacks a lot. What kind of jobs did he do? Was he good at them? Were there other ETG members who disliked him in particular? Was there any familial friction? Does he have siblings? Is his mother still alive, and how is his relationship with her? Is she ETG?
If you want, I don’t mind if Gwen and Brendan are tied through Gretchen, who could easily be his mother. Then Gwen and Brenden would know each other, although it’s possible that Brendan would have been small when Gwen flew the coop, so to speak.
5. The thing with the trophies is cool and all, but it probably should be mentioned in his personality.
Name: Jiol Yvrn
Playing music will summon objects and events from somewhere in the world.(1)
Summon requires pieces of music to be played, either composed by Jiol, or by someone else.
The time it takes to summon certain things completely depends on how long the piece is, and how fast Jiol needs it and plays it.
For objects, he must play a music piece with concentration, and depending on how he plays it, it will produce an object of his choice if he is the one who composed it, or a certain type of object if composed by someone else. The quality of the object depends on how long the piece is, and Jiol’s amount of concentration at the time of playing, or composing. Some pieces only summon one certain object when played, while some can vary in what it summons each time it is played.
ex. when trying to summon a piano. Playing piece A will always summon Piano A, but playing piece B, can summon any sort of piano from around the world.
ex. trying to summon a sword, playing Piece A flawlessly will summon a fine quality sword, but playing it “bad” would summon something of lesser quality or further from the intent of what he wanted summoned.
Playing Piece A would summon Lightning strike. Would take pretty long to play, at least 12 minutes straight of playing or something.
Playing Piece B -- Earthquake? Not that I would have a need for one, or that would would even possibly be occurring at the time I played it, but time would be like, 30 of straight playing.
Playing Piece C Smokescreens -- People are tossing smoke grenades all over the play, summoning one would be that hard, although time would depend on how large the smokescreen is.
(Note, these are just examples, Jiol is not limited to these specifics.)
Jiol can either play pieces through whistling, although he prefers to build his way upward through summoning bigger and bigger instruments.(2)
Whistling -> Harmonica -> Oboe -> Stringed instrument -> Keyboard -> Bigger Piano.
Something like that, he’ll just take forever to setup.
Items will vanish if summoned unspecifically, or is generic, but will return to original position if summoned specifically, or one of a kind, such as a specific piano or a certain handwritten book.
Weaknesses and Limits: Summon takes time, and a great deal of concentration. If he messes up, he generally won’t summon what he wants. Most instruments take both hands, so he’s pretty helpless while he’s playing, and probably doesn’t want to mess up while running away from you.
Appearance: Almost required to be fancy(3).
Personality: Thinks he’s a better musician than you. Enjoys small talks and idle chatters when unoccupied. Frowns upon inadequacy, and will glance down upon you should it be shown.
History: His parents were Gifted musicians who performed in Brinkhaven. He was taught at a young age the skills to play most types of instruments, and excelled at it, because he’s just that good. He first used his Gift during practice at a concert hall, where he played his piece while thinking of how much better the custom piano at home he had was compared to the one he was using. Sure enough, his home piano, all the way at their apartment had somehow teleported into the concert hall before teleporting right back a while later. Once his parents heard of this, they immediately tested out how his Gift works, narrowing down what it was and how he could use it. They discovered that as long as it could be interpreted as music, it could summon something. At the age of 17, he joined the Dimensional faction, as his power fell under said category. He split up his time commitments at that point, training some more useful skills in Derika, such as using his Gift to summon offensive occurrences quickly. Really new to fighting faction member by day, fancy musician by night.
Equipment: Clothing, dramatic walking cane which serves no purpose but fashion, and for playing 4 different notes by pressing buttons on the side of it. (Uses cane to summon more complex instruments for the job.)
1. Hmm, this makes me curious. How does he summon the objects? What do you mean by events? Does his music bend the fabric of timespace and allow objects and happenings to slip through? Does it literally create the object of happening out of the sound? What happens?
2. I don’t get it. Can you explain this a little better please?
3. Fancy fancy fancy. Does everything have to be fancy? I like that picture though.
Name: Matt(1) Twigg (Twigg or Twiggy for short)
Gift (Power)(2): Mental - Telepathicism (reading and/or control of the mind).
Weaknesses and Limits: Visibility - if the person he is trying to control is either too far away (a mile or so) or he cannot see any part of them, then he cannot control them.
Appearance: [snipped image]
Personality: Nice and calm, a bit competitive, likes to work in groups and wants to help out other people.
History: Twigg was 10 when he found out that he could read other people's minds. As he learnt more about this gift he learnt how to control them, too. He was able to fight back against bullies and found this gift very useful. When his parents died in a house fire, he moved to Derika. He quickly learnt that the "ETG" hunted people with these "gifts". While he was scared, it was comforting to know there were more like him. Fortunately he could hide his talents and has so far not been caught.
Equipment: Casual clothing. Always hides a knife in his coat pocket just in case of emergencies. Wears gloves because his hands are almost as useful as his mind for helping him extend his reach and if they get too cold it's hard to move or use them.
2. We have a telepathic or two already, if I remember correctly, and several with other mind-manipulating Gifts. I’ll need to check the character list, but you might need to give Matt here a different Gift. Also, it seems overpowered. That range is a bit too large for my liking. Maybe narrow it down?
Also, thanks for listing the classification. That is helpful for dealing with the wiki. His gift has a pretty obvious classification, but still.
3. How did he learn about Derika? One does not simply find Derika. Also, like I said before, it would be hard to hide your gift because ETG has telepaths and such, although you could let Matt slide on the telepaths because he presumably could shield himself from other telepaths. However, what about the ETG that can sense GIfts? Maybe they can see them, or even smell of hear them. One of my characters can “trade” Gifts, and Gifted have “auras” that reflect their Gift. If ETG have a Gifted who can see that “aura”, then boom, you’re busted, have fun in the lab. Can you fix those things?
Bluh bluh bluh so many apps. I just spent most if not all of my morning looking these over. Now I don’t get to work on my “current project”, [REDACTED]. Sad face. Oh well. Writing this little paragraph certainly isn’t helping me.