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The universe used to be a tiny, infinitely small, infinitely massive ball of itself

Not infinitely massive, infinitely dense.

then for no reason, against all common sense it just started expanding

This implies a couple things. Firstly, it implies that your common sense is somehow valuable when it comes to understanding the universe. It isn't, common sense and intuition are garbage for anything other than running from predators or hunting for food on the African savanna.

Secondly it implies that there existed a moment in time during which the universe wasn't expanding. This is not the case. There was no time at which the universe wasn't expanding. There was a moment in time at which the entire universe was a singularity. It doesn't make sense to consider any times prior to that.

and everything was created RANDOMLY from two elements magically

There's nothing magic about nuclear physics and chemistry. The only magical thing here is believing that the course of events was influenced through supernatural means. The very definition of magic.

combining and forming bigger elements until they all existed

So how many elements would exist otherwise? None of them?

instead of burining up and being pulled into the star, they formed together with each other and started spinning around these stars?

Stars don't "burn", they fuse. It takes a lot of energy to fuse heavy elements, which is why they only show up in supernovae explosions, one of the few naturally occurring events capable of producing the temperatures and pressures required to produce elements heavier than iron. And then a lot of that material *does* get pulled into the central star. Hell, the amount of iron in the sun weighs as much as 466 Earths and Earth is only about 1/3 iron, so the sun has nearly 1500 times the amount of iron as earth.

with each other and started spinning around these stars?

They didn't "start" spinning, they always were spinning. They formed out of a protoplanetary disk of gas and dust that was orbiting the central protostar that would later become the sun. The sun and the planets all formed at roughly the same time.

You'd rather believe that it was random chance when the planet that used to be, and now is the moon, randomly smashed into our planet, which caused the moon to exist, which affected the tides, which is where the first strands of DNA mixed, which is where we (eventually) came from?

I'd rather not be so arrogant as to believe that we're that important. A large collision is hardly unbelievable anyway. Collisions were common during the solar system's early formation. That one of them happened to cause a planet to have an unusually large moon is not surprising in the least.

You'd believe that all of that was... an accident?

Yes. It's wonderful and beautiful and true and I don't feel the need to cheapen the whole thing by making it the whim of some omnipotent intangible entity that goes out of its way to be indistinguishable from blind chance.