Right so I'd personally like your personality and description to be fleshed out a bit more. But the biggest thing is that you do not have a backstory, you have a letter to someone that isn't your character that suggests that your character may be some sort of run away noble. But you need a backstory.
The only thing I have to note is that even if once a soldier your character can’t come in as a master of any skill so he’d still be a novice soldier regardless. You’d have to train ICly.
The character is a nice simple one in its main premise and will be nice to see another scholar type character galavanting around the server. I look forward to possibly RPing with you in the future.
Magic Application Pending.
Your description of the magic system isn’t exactly right, Try having another read and comparing to see if you missed anything that you didn’t before. Another thing is that the examples you gave for your water trinket are a much higher level than weak, To pull water from the atmosphere itself is very difficult and not a weak level thing. Water magic is highly reliable on the environment that the person is within.
(Tell me if you wish to continue with the magic application or want to jump right into the server, bare in mind if you decide to jump on the server without magic app being accepted your character will not have magical potential. [which is still fun] but just bare that in mind. Add me on skype if you need to ToxicPurpose)
First things first, I need you to expand on your character description, It’s extremely lack luster in actual descriptive qualities, Try to go into detail with any markings he has, what type of hair does he have? Curly, straight, wavy. Etc Just try to give as much detail as possible.
The next is noting the discrepancies in your backstory and getting you to fix them up. Your dwarf is simply too young to be born in Thondum then leave when Barkamsted was founded, The war raged for around 70 years Barkamsted becoming a haven reasonably early. Next is we don’t use gold we use silver, but you also will not be starting with that nor three pigs. Thonduhm has not been reclaimed either so going over there to live wouldn’t work. All in all, you may need to rework most of the backstory.
First thing to note is that I don’t feel like your power gaming definition is really to what it should mean. A Rice farm in itself wouldn’t be the easiest to maintain and would not be very profitable from the difficulty that comes from harvesting such a crop in this climate. I’d also like to note that the man that came down to speak (Your character's father) would not have been any major role in the army and said army that turned up would not have likely been of great size at that period of time, Due to your characters age it would have likely been towards the end of the pact war where armies weren’t as large.
Some Things I’d like you to change and improve on before I can let you onto the server, The first is that High-Elves have the same eye and hair color so your character having both green eyes and red hair wouldn’t work unless he dyes his hair, In which case please specify.
The next thing I’d like you to do is expand on your backstory, It doesn’t really give too much information. The paragraphs are a tad small and you don’t include any points in time that really help to define your character other than “He got bored.” Did he have any deep connections? Was his childhood decent? These are just two examples.
Hello Time, First off the bat I’d like you to expand upon your backstory, It doesn’t contain too much information and living on the outskirts of a forest growing up would have been dangerous, It’s been awhile since the end of the pact war but the dangers still loomed from nasty critters and roving bandit groups, I’d like to see if he faced any problems how this helped James develop as a character and how it affected his outcoming personality. Please expand upon these things.
I liked the integration of the war into your backstory and it gave a decent amount of insight into how the character has developed into who he is now, I appreciate that you gave time to mention that Geel didn’t just storm through this ravenous time and suffered from an extreme struggle against elements and hostiles. Look forward to seeing you on the server. If you wish to be added to the Skype OOC chat add me; ToxicPurpose. we announce events on there as well as on the Enjjin forums.
The first thing to note is your character description, I’d like you to expand upon it a bit more, explain what he wears regularly or if he has any unique marks like scars or even freckles.
The next is your biography you do not explain much about what happened in the time between what you’ve written, The Pact forces would have invaded Thondum in your characters quite early years rather than once he got older. Perhaps go into detail about how he managed to escape the underground mountain city and any special events in his lifetime that made an impact on Holgar.
Everything seems fine though I'd like you to increase your backstory, write more about why he was a lonely kid, or when the alchemist actually took Awi on as an apprentice, It's important to involve pivotable points in a character's history such as these few examples, Everything else though seems like it's fine and your biography is the only thing that looks to need updating.
Nice little application, Nothing huge. Thanks for messaging me and telling me about the issue you had with curse reporting it as spam and you having to clump the biography part of your application.
There is lots wrong with this application, I'd first have you turn your attention to the magic application, That's simply not how magic works and it looks as if you didn't even read the lore we have in place. Next up he wouldn't be able to fly around and control all of nature that comes into the magic factor I just mentioned.
You also need to expand greatly on your description, personality and biography they are far too short.
I am concerned about your writing as well considering this is an English speaking server and almost everything is written I'm not quite sure how you'd fare on the server and if you'd find it enjoyable at all.
A nice simple application for a relatively simple sounding man, I'd like to mention that starting you'll not gain any advantage from the business your father had. Other than that note, Please enjoy yourself within Saphriel.
There are some huge inconsistencies and errors in your application so I will go through some of the bigger things and have you re-write them if you still wish to join the server. The first thing I should mention is that having a both high and dark elf parents simply make you a half-elf of both descendants not a dark elf visually and a high elf in his blood, It would be a mix. That said you're correct that the child would look much more like the dark elven counterpart. Because of said dark elven heritage you're not able to have magic at all, even with the high elven, You'd take on the lowest number of aspects which would be the dark elf with 0.
Next there really isn't anything of a dark elf knighthood, The dark elves in the elven military could raise up the ranks but they were mainly just infantry and other foot soldiers and not an entire squad of knights. Another point is trolls tend to smash things rather than rip them apart, They are giant lumbering beasts.
While your application is okay, There weren't really knights just elite soldiers, Not exactly the same thing but cause there was no royalty there weren't really knights after the fall of Falkvard, The main things you need to fix are you power and metagaming definitions though, Currently they just arn't really what it means.
0
Denied
Right so I'd personally like your personality and description to be fleshed out a bit more. But the biggest thing is that you do not have a backstory, you have a letter to someone that isn't your character that suggests that your character may be some sort of run away noble. But you need a backstory.
0
The whole app is now Accepted,
Have a good time on the server! I will whitelist you shortly.
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Accepted
The only thing I have to note is that even if once a soldier your character can’t come in as a master of any skill so he’d still be a novice soldier regardless. You’d have to train ICly.
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Character Application Accepted.
The character is a nice simple one in its main premise and will be nice to see another scholar type character galavanting around the server. I look forward to possibly RPing with you in the future.
Magic Application Pending.
Your description of the magic system isn’t exactly right, Try having another read and comparing to see if you missed anything that you didn’t before. Another thing is that the examples you gave for your water trinket are a much higher level than weak, To pull water from the atmosphere itself is very difficult and not a weak level thing. Water magic is highly reliable on the environment that the person is within.
(Tell me if you wish to continue with the magic application or want to jump right into the server, bare in mind if you decide to jump on the server without magic app being accepted your character will not have magical potential. [which is still fun] but just bare that in mind. Add me on skype if you need to ToxicPurpose)
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
Pending
First things first, I need you to expand on your character description, It’s extremely lack luster in actual descriptive qualities, Try to go into detail with any markings he has, what type of hair does he have? Curly, straight, wavy. Etc Just try to give as much detail as possible.
The next is noting the discrepancies in your backstory and getting you to fix them up. Your dwarf is simply too young to be born in Thondum then leave when Barkamsted was founded, The war raged for around 70 years Barkamsted becoming a haven reasonably early. Next is we don’t use gold we use silver, but you also will not be starting with that nor three pigs. Thonduhm has not been reclaimed either so going over there to live wouldn’t work. All in all, you may need to rework most of the backstory.
Accepted
Lovely character Sickshot, I personally haven’t seen a bard like this in some time so it will be good fun. It’s also good to see you applying here!
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Pending
First thing to note is that I don’t feel like your power gaming definition is really to what it should mean. A Rice farm in itself wouldn’t be the easiest to maintain and would not be very profitable from the difficulty that comes from harvesting such a crop in this climate. I’d also like to note that the man that came down to speak (Your character's father) would not have been any major role in the army and said army that turned up would not have likely been of great size at that period of time, Due to your characters age it would have likely been towards the end of the pact war where armies weren’t as large.
Pending
Some Things I’d like you to change and improve on before I can let you onto the server, The first is that High-Elves have the same eye and hair color so your character having both green eyes and red hair wouldn’t work unless he dyes his hair, In which case please specify.
The next thing I’d like you to do is expand on your backstory, It doesn’t really give too much information. The paragraphs are a tad small and you don’t include any points in time that really help to define your character other than “He got bored.” Did he have any deep connections? Was his childhood decent? These are just two examples.
Did you make a new account on the Minecraft forums, if so what was your last?
Pending
Hello Time, First off the bat I’d like you to expand upon your backstory, It doesn’t contain too much information and living on the outskirts of a forest growing up would have been dangerous, It’s been awhile since the end of the pact war but the dangers still loomed from nasty critters and roving bandit groups, I’d like to see if he faced any problems how this helped James develop as a character and how it affected his outcoming personality. Please expand upon these things.
Accepted
I liked the integration of the war into your backstory and it gave a decent amount of insight into how the character has developed into who he is now, I appreciate that you gave time to mention that Geel didn’t just storm through this ravenous time and suffered from an extreme struggle against elements and hostiles. Look forward to seeing you on the server. If you wish to be added to the Skype OOC chat add me; ToxicPurpose. we announce events on there as well as on the Enjjin forums.
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
Pending
The first thing to note is your character description, I’d like you to expand upon it a bit more, explain what he wears regularly or if he has any unique marks like scars or even freckles.
The next is your biography you do not explain much about what happened in the time between what you’ve written, The Pact forces would have invaded Thondum in your characters quite early years rather than once he got older. Perhaps go into detail about how he managed to escape the underground mountain city and any special events in his lifetime that made an impact on Holgar.
0
Accepted
A Melon farmer, How simple how normal, yet at this point it is simply so exotic! Enjoy your time on the server.
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Enjin Forums: therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com
0
Accepted
Cool, You increased your story a little and I'm happy with the small edits you have made. Have fun on the server.
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Pending
Everything seems fine though I'd like you to increase your backstory, write more about why he was a lonely kid, or when the alchemist actually took Awi on as an apprentice, It's important to involve pivotable points in a character's history such as these few examples, Everything else though seems like it's fine and your biography is the only thing that looks to need updating.
0
Accepted
The edits look just fine to me, Have fun on the server good sir.
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Accepted
Nice little application, Nothing huge. Thanks for messaging me and telling me about the issue you had with curse reporting it as spam and you having to clump the biography part of your application.
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Denied
There is lots wrong with this application, I'd first have you turn your attention to the magic application, That's simply not how magic works and it looks as if you didn't even read the lore we have in place. Next up he wouldn't be able to fly around and control all of nature that comes into the magic factor I just mentioned.
You also need to expand greatly on your description, personality and biography they are far too short.
I am concerned about your writing as well considering this is an English speaking server and almost everything is written I'm not quite sure how you'd fare on the server and if you'd find it enjoyable at all.
0
Accepted
A nice simple application for a relatively simple sounding man, I'd like to mention that starting you'll not gain any advantage from the business your father had. Other than that note, Please enjoy yourself within Saphriel.
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
The few changes I asked you to make have been made, You should be white-listed shortly, Enjoy your time on saphriel.
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
0
Denied
There are some huge inconsistencies and errors in your application so I will go through some of the bigger things and have you re-write them if you still wish to join the server. The first thing I should mention is that having a both high and dark elf parents simply make you a half-elf of both descendants not a dark elf visually and a high elf in his blood, It would be a mix. That said you're correct that the child would look much more like the dark elven counterpart. Because of said dark elven heritage you're not able to have magic at all, even with the high elven, You'd take on the lowest number of aspects which would be the dark elf with 0.
Next there really isn't anything of a dark elf knighthood, The dark elves in the elven military could raise up the ranks but they were mainly just infantry and other foot soldiers and not an entire squad of knights. Another point is trolls tend to smash things rather than rip them apart, They are giant lumbering beasts.
Denied
If you're not going to take essential parts of the application seriously then I will not review your application again.
0
Pending
While your application is okay, There weren't really knights just elite soldiers, Not exactly the same thing but cause there was no royalty there weren't really knights after the fall of Falkvard, The main things you need to fix are you power and metagaming definitions though, Currently they just arn't really what it means.