You don't need a pumpkin, just keep your cross-hairs pointed somewhat skyward. You'll either be aiming up high to hit a crystal, or scanning the sky for the dragon, there's almost never a need to look directly ahead and risk angering endermen. So long as you just keep calm and move slow but precise and planned movements, you'll be fine. Don't panic and look around hastily. The dragon takes it's sweet ass time between dive-bombs, so don't get panicky.
Also, as mentioned, bring ender pearls in case you appear on a platform in the middle of nowhere (because apparently it's so hard to make it that you just spawn on the friggin island...)
Note: This thread is half joke, half fully serious. Proceed with caution.
Ok, so we all know when you break a block of gravel there is a chance to get flint, right? And we also know that falling gravel that lands on a torch (or sign, or half-block, or rail piece....) is instantly destroyed, right? Unfortunately, either by oversight or intentional design, gravel destroyed this way does not have a chance of giving flint. But it begs the question (not really, but bear with me here):
If falling gravel *could* be turned into flint, what would the quickest way to do it be?
You might think to just place a torch at the bottom of a wall, and hold down the mouse button placing gravel over and over. But that is slow, because you must wait for the placed gravel to fall before there is space to place another one. If you were to quickly place another block to the left, and alternate between two spots, you'd drop gravel a little faster. This is the important part - because gravity takes care of the gravel once it is placed, the only thing that matters is how fast you can physically place the gravel. Placing gravel at a faster speed means you'd collect flint at a faster rate. It is with this theory in mind that I created the the first, the only, the (not currently functional) flint generator!
(Behold! Witness the technology so cutting edge it solved a problem that hasn't been invented yet!)
The generator is so simple in design I don't think I need to explain how to build it at all, just follow the picture. If you're having trouble with that, I'm sorry, Minecraft is not the game for you =(
But how the hell does this stupid looking thing work you ask?
Simple! You turn it on, push the minecart and hop in. The cart will then spin in the circular track indefinately. All you have to do then is look directly above you and hold the right mouse button (with some gravel selected, of course, please do pay attention!), and you'll be placing gravel as fast as possible.
The minecart will move you so fast that by the time you've placed one gravel block, you've already moved to another empty spot on the ceiling to place another, and by the time you complete one lap, the gravel has fallen and the space above is empty, ready for another block of gravel. The gravel (and maybe sometime in the future, flint), falls on the rails to be collected on your next lap around the track.
Any unconverted gravel goes right back into your inventory, so literally all that is required is to look up, hold the right mouse button, and watch as your stacks of useless gravel are converted into (slightly less useless) flint at the fastest speed possible in Minecraft. Any time you want to stop the fun, just hit the lever in the middle and the generator screeches to a halt. It couldn't be more simpler.
well, I'm kinda burnt out on Minecraft at the moment, I haven't played in a few weeks, so I don't know. I wouldn't hold your breath. If I get some awesome new ideas though, I will.
Those new dispenser blocks look promising though, I'll have to see if I can do anything stupid with them.
I do believe you have just won Minecraft. That is an amazing concept, you've done things with water I never knew were possible.
One thing I noticed, you seemed to get your head stuck in the ceiling sometimes, can you raise the ceiling a block to prevent that or will that mess up the design somehow?
It's time for another update! A lot has been been added this time, and it took me a lot of work, so I hope you enjoy.
Let's have a look at the new exterior.
Four new parts have been added to the house:
1: A slowsand maze
2: An observation tower
3: A hallway leading to...
4: A mystery room!
Let's go over each part in depth.
The Maze
A large fence maze has been added, which runs around the entire perimeter of the house. It took several hundred fences to build. The slowsand makes sure that your efforts at finding the right way take much longer. When I did a test run, it took 1 min 20 sec with the correct route. Adding in the 2 minutes it takes to smash down the Obsidian door, getting in and out of the house takes a little over 3 and a half minutes. Day lasts 10 minutes, and if you want to get back in before it gets dark, you'll only have 3 minutes of daylight to spare. As the house gets larger, so will the maze, and the less time you'll have left to do something useful. Eventually your entire day will be consumed just by travelling to and from your house. You'll also notice the sand is not square against the grass anymore, and that it's more jagged and natural looking. This was done because aesthetics is inherently inefficient.
The Observation Tower
Extending from the roof is a new observation tower. It is built of sand, torches, and lunacy. The entire structure is perched upon a single TNT block. If something were to happen to that block, the whole tower would come falling down. I chose a diagonal staircase design over a straight one for a few reasons: first is that it just takes more materials, second it takes longer to move up, and thirdly it is far more complicated to build ensuring that any reconstruction of the tower takes as long as possible.
Let's go take a walk to the top shall we?
... I'm sorry, did I say walk? I meant swim. Travel up the staircase is made more difficult by the presence of a downward flowing current. Due to the bizarre design of the staircase, the water also makes it harder to go down. Yes, that's right, even with the current on your side you will move down slower than if there were no water. This is an engineering feat of sheer genius.
Here we are at the top of the tower. A tilled grass block provides us with a window to the outside world.
Of course, you can't really see anything at all, making this extremely useless, but, the fact that you can see *something* still technically qualifies this as an observatory. That's good enough for this house.
The Hallway
Inside the house, we can see the new combination hallway/tree farm/deathtrap. The hallway is made out of snow and bricks, because these two are some of the most inefficient building materials available. Snow requires 4 uses of a shovel per block, no other material damages your tools as much as snow will. Bricks require smelting of 4 clay balls, no other material wastes as much heat as bricks do. Toghether, they make this hallway quadrupally inefficient. Saplings line the floor, which will randomly grow into trees and block your progress untill you hack them down. Light for the trees is provided by the furnaces, and according to the sage wisdom on the outside of the house, are fueled by logs. To get trees, you need logs for the furnace, but to get logs for the furnace you need light, which requires that you fuel the furnace with logs, which can only be obtained... it's a Catch 22 vicious cycle that means any attempt at tree farming will run at a net loss. Lava can be used as an alternative light source, only because using non-renewable materials to obtain renewable materials is the very definition of inefficiency. Finally, there is always the small chance that as you're walking down the hallway, a sapling will choose that moment to turn into a tree, trapping you inside and aspxiatying you to death. I believe this is the only hallway in Minecraft existance that may require multiple attempts to walk down. That there is an achievement in itself.
The Mystery Room
At the end of the hallway is a large room, created out of at least one of every possible placable material. The more different materials you use in making something, the more time you waste switching between them. The room was built with this principle in mind, making you switch after placing every single block.
Here is the inside of the room. The iron door is guarded by a 8-pin combination lock. To access the levers, you must put your platforming skills to the test and leap across the floating, slippery ice blocks while the cold, judgemental eyes of the dead bore into your very soul.
One slip and you're taking a detour down to the diamond mine. Such speedy travel from one place to another is countered by the fact that you will die upon arrival.
Finally, I'd like to draw your attention to the doorframe made of TNT in the earlier pic. This is not for decoration. This is to prevent the simple work-around to any combination lock (other than punching the damn door down): placing your own power source next to the door and bypassing the lock and opening the door directly. Try that, and the TNT is going to explode.
This house will NOT put up with your smart ass ****.
And what's beyond the door that's worth all this hassle?
The back yard garden, complete with one flower, because whatever purpose a garden serves in minecraft, a single flower will do the worst job of it.
Based upon some of the suggestions made, I have made several "improvements" to the house.
Here is the exterior, which has several new features.
1: We have a slow-sand moat, because it wasn't taking long enough to get into the house when you're being chased by 3 creepers, half a dozen zombies and a skeleton rider.
2: There is a burning doormat, now you have to try and punch through the obsidian door while on fire.
3: A new TNT rooftop storage system, which we'll get to later.
4: The sides have been 'decorated' with ladders and signs featuring misleading, useless, and generally terrible Minecraft advice (you may need to click and view this one fullscreen)
Inside the house a minecart transportation system has been implemented, making travel within the house much more ridiculous. The track was carefully calibrated to take the least optimal route to the stairs. Sometimes it won't even make it that far.
A new basement was also added, but where's the entrance?
To access the basement, you must first destroy the staircase to the roof. This house allows only one staircase to be functional at any one time.
Down in the basement, we see it has been converted into an underground wheat farm, lit by jack o'lanterns. The farm layout is not designed in any logical or useful fashion. Cactus blocks serve as the path between crop blocks. This means that 90% of the harvest will be destroyed and you'll lose more health collecting the wheat than you'd ever hope to gain back. You can avoid the cactus by leaping from crop block to crop block, but that will ruin the tilled soil and you'll then be required to fetch a hoe from the rooftop storage.
Which requires that you must first destory the entire house, collect all the scattered items, rebuild the house, and then painstakingly re-organise your storage all over again.
This is what happens when you don't want to walk on cactus, you wuss.
Once upon a time there was a mother pig who had three little pigs. The three little pigs grew so big that their mother said to them, "You are too big to live here any longer. You must go and build houses for yourselves. But take care that the creeper does not catch you.
So the three little pigs set off. Soon they met a man carrying some wool. The first little pig asked "please sir, will you give me some wool? I want to build a house for myself".
The man agreed, and gave the first little pig some wool, who then set off to build his house
The second little pig and the third little pig carried on. Soon they met a man carrying some wood. The second little pig asked "may I have some wood? I wish to build a house for myself".
The man replied "of course", and gave the second little pig some wood, who then set off to build his house.
The third little pig walked on by himself. Soon he met a man carrying some obsidian. The third little pig asked "would you lend me some of your obsidian? I need to build a house for myself".
The man obliged, and gave the third little pig some obsidian, who then set off to build his house.
The next day, the creeper came along the road. He came to the house of wool which the first little pig had built. He knocked on the door, and said "little pig, little pig, let me come in".
"Not by the blocks on my chinny chin chin", replied the first little pig.
"Then I'll hisss, and I'll sisss, and blow your house up!", said the creeper.
So he hissed and sissed and he hissed and he sissed. The house of wool blew up, and the creeper ate up the first little pig.
The next day, the creeper walked further along the road. He came to the house of wood which the second little pig had built. He knocked on the door and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
"Not by the blocks on my chinny chin chin", replied the second little pig.
"Then I'll hisss, and I'll sisss, and blow your house up!", said the creeper.
So he hissed and sissed and he hissed and he sissed. The house of wood blew up, and the creeper ate up the second little pig.
The next day, the creeper walked even further along the road. He came to the house of obsidian which the third little pig had built. He knocked on the door and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
"Not by the blocks on my chinny chin chin", replied the third little pig.
"Then I'll hisss, and I'll sisss, and blow your house up!", said the creeper.
So he hissed and sissed and he hissed and he sissed. But the house of obsidian did not blow up.
The creeper was very angry, and so he hissed and sissed untill he could hiss and siss no more. Still the house did not crumble.
The creeper then blew himself up out of anger, and the third little pig lived happily ever after.
I see people make their homes out of a lot of different materials. Some care little for aesthetics, and just use dirt, because it's cheap and plentiful. Others like style, so they choose wood, despite its usefullness in crafting and general flammability. Then there are the paranoid, who use obsidian, because damned if a creeper is going to ruin their hard work. Me? I decided to do something completly different.
This is a house made out of uncommon materials. This is a house that has zero practical value.
This is not the house jack built. This is the house inefficiency built.
This is the exterior. The walls required a printing press to produce. Jukeboxes line the doorway. And the door is 1-metre thick pure obsidian. It will take you nearly two minutes to punch your way inside, because you used all your diamonds on the jukeboxes.
"Honey, I'm home... finally..."
Here is the interior. Lighting is provided by a lava-fueled wall mounted furnace, because torches are for wimps. The floor is a lovely checkerboard of workbenches and gold blocks. Everyone knows that the best flooring requires hours of mining away in the underground. The wall chests cannot be accessed without first destroying the bookcase above it. Since bookcases cannot be reclaimed, every time you want to fetch something, you have to re-write several novels afterwards. Finally, note the stair case of furnaces. This staircase is awesome, it eats other staircases for breakfast.
Literally, it eats other staircases to cook my breakfast.
The lazy amongst us would probably note that the floor underneath the staircases cannot be seen, and would elect to fill it with dirt, reasoning that there is no point wasting materials no one can see.
This house was not made by one of those people.
Here we have the roof-top view. Want to know why there are no trees at all? They were all cut down just to the build the roof.
Bookcases have a TNT resistance of 7.5. What this means is that every creeper attack will resemble the aftermath of the Library of Alexandria disaster.
"****, there goes the entire Science Fiction section and half the works of Shakespeare..."
Finally, a fun fact: this house is comprised of 200 blocks, but took 1280 blocks to create. That's an inefficiency ratio of 0.15625 : 1
YET MORE FUN
For more inefficiency, check out the updates I've made since this first post: Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
SAVE FILE
Here is the save file, so you can experience first hand the inefficiency of this house. Unzip to your saves folder, and have fun. Have fun exploring some of the other things in this world too. Save file (5MB)
1
Also, as mentioned, bring ender pearls in case you appear on a platform in the middle of nowhere (because apparently it's so hard to make it that you just spawn on the friggin island...)
3
Ok, so we all know when you break a block of gravel there is a chance to get flint, right? And we also know that falling gravel that lands on a torch (or sign, or half-block, or rail piece....) is instantly destroyed, right? Unfortunately, either by oversight or intentional design, gravel destroyed this way does not have a chance of giving flint. But it begs the question (not really, but bear with me here):
If falling gravel *could* be turned into flint, what would the quickest way to do it be?
You might think to just place a torch at the bottom of a wall, and hold down the mouse button placing gravel over and over. But that is slow, because you must wait for the placed gravel to fall before there is space to place another one. If you were to quickly place another block to the left, and alternate between two spots, you'd drop gravel a little faster. This is the important part - because gravity takes care of the gravel once it is placed, the only thing that matters is how fast you can physically place the gravel. Placing gravel at a faster speed means you'd collect flint at a faster rate. It is with this theory in mind that I created the the first, the only, the (not currently functional) flint generator!
(Behold! Witness the technology so cutting edge it solved a problem that hasn't been invented yet!)
The generator is so simple in design I don't think I need to explain how to build it at all, just follow the picture. If you're having trouble with that, I'm sorry, Minecraft is not the game for you =(
But how the hell does this stupid looking thing work you ask?
Simple! You turn it on, push the minecart and hop in. The cart will then spin in the circular track indefinately. All you have to do then is look directly above you and hold the right mouse button (with some gravel selected, of course, please do pay attention!), and you'll be placing gravel as fast as possible.
The minecart will move you so fast that by the time you've placed one gravel block, you've already moved to another empty spot on the ceiling to place another, and by the time you complete one lap, the gravel has fallen and the space above is empty, ready for another block of gravel. The gravel (and maybe sometime in the future, flint), falls on the rails to be collected on your next lap around the track.
Any unconverted gravel goes right back into your inventory, so literally all that is required is to look up, hold the right mouse button, and watch as your stacks of useless gravel are converted into (slightly less useless) flint at the fastest speed possible in Minecraft. Any time you want to stop the fun, just hit the lever in the middle and the generator screeches to a halt. It couldn't be more simpler.
Or currently useless.
1
well, I'm kinda burnt out on Minecraft at the moment, I haven't played in a few weeks, so I don't know. I wouldn't hold your breath. If I get some awesome new ideas though, I will.
Those new dispenser blocks look promising though, I'll have to see if I can do anything stupid with them.
1
One thing I noticed, you seemed to get your head stuck in the ceiling sometimes, can you raise the ceiling a block to prevent that or will that mess up the design somehow?
1
Let's have a look at the new exterior.
Four new parts have been added to the house:
1: A slowsand maze
2: An observation tower
3: A hallway leading to...
4: A mystery room!
Let's go over each part in depth.
The Maze
A large fence maze has been added, which runs around the entire perimeter of the house. It took several hundred fences to build. The slowsand makes sure that your efforts at finding the right way take much longer. When I did a test run, it took 1 min 20 sec with the correct route. Adding in the 2 minutes it takes to smash down the Obsidian door, getting in and out of the house takes a little over 3 and a half minutes. Day lasts 10 minutes, and if you want to get back in before it gets dark, you'll only have 3 minutes of daylight to spare. As the house gets larger, so will the maze, and the less time you'll have left to do something useful. Eventually your entire day will be consumed just by travelling to and from your house. You'll also notice the sand is not square against the grass anymore, and that it's more jagged and natural looking. This was done because aesthetics is inherently inefficient.
The Observation Tower
Extending from the roof is a new observation tower. It is built of sand, torches, and lunacy. The entire structure is perched upon a single TNT block. If something were to happen to that block, the whole tower would come falling down. I chose a diagonal staircase design over a straight one for a few reasons: first is that it just takes more materials, second it takes longer to move up, and thirdly it is far more complicated to build ensuring that any reconstruction of the tower takes as long as possible.
Let's go take a walk to the top shall we?
... I'm sorry, did I say walk? I meant swim. Travel up the staircase is made more difficult by the presence of a downward flowing current. Due to the bizarre design of the staircase, the water also makes it harder to go down. Yes, that's right, even with the current on your side you will move down slower than if there were no water. This is an engineering feat of sheer genius.
Here we are at the top of the tower. A tilled grass block provides us with a window to the outside world.
Of course, you can't really see anything at all, making this extremely useless, but, the fact that you can see *something* still technically qualifies this as an observatory. That's good enough for this house.
The Hallway
Inside the house, we can see the new combination hallway/tree farm/deathtrap. The hallway is made out of snow and bricks, because these two are some of the most inefficient building materials available. Snow requires 4 uses of a shovel per block, no other material damages your tools as much as snow will. Bricks require smelting of 4 clay balls, no other material wastes as much heat as bricks do. Toghether, they make this hallway quadrupally inefficient. Saplings line the floor, which will randomly grow into trees and block your progress untill you hack them down. Light for the trees is provided by the furnaces, and according to the sage wisdom on the outside of the house, are fueled by logs. To get trees, you need logs for the furnace, but to get logs for the furnace you need light, which requires that you fuel the furnace with logs, which can only be obtained... it's a Catch 22 vicious cycle that means any attempt at tree farming will run at a net loss. Lava can be used as an alternative light source, only because using non-renewable materials to obtain renewable materials is the very definition of inefficiency. Finally, there is always the small chance that as you're walking down the hallway, a sapling will choose that moment to turn into a tree, trapping you inside and aspxiatying you to death. I believe this is the only hallway in Minecraft existance that may require multiple attempts to walk down. That there is an achievement in itself.
The Mystery Room
At the end of the hallway is a large room, created out of at least one of every possible placable material. The more different materials you use in making something, the more time you waste switching between them. The room was built with this principle in mind, making you switch after placing every single block.
Here is the inside of the room. The iron door is guarded by a 8-pin combination lock. To access the levers, you must put your platforming skills to the test and leap across the floating, slippery ice blocks while the cold, judgemental eyes of the dead bore into your very soul.
One slip and you're taking a detour down to the diamond mine. Such speedy travel from one place to another is countered by the fact that you will die upon arrival.
Finally, I'd like to draw your attention to the doorframe made of TNT in the earlier pic. This is not for decoration. This is to prevent the simple work-around to any combination lock (other than punching the damn door down): placing your own power source next to the door and bypassing the lock and opening the door directly. Try that, and the TNT is going to explode.
This house will NOT put up with your smart ass ****.
And what's beyond the door that's worth all this hassle?
The back yard garden, complete with one flower, because whatever purpose a garden serves in minecraft, a single flower will do the worst job of it.
5
Here is the exterior, which has several new features.
1: We have a slow-sand moat, because it wasn't taking long enough to get into the house when you're being chased by 3 creepers, half a dozen zombies and a skeleton rider.
2: There is a burning doormat, now you have to try and punch through the obsidian door while on fire.
3: A new TNT rooftop storage system, which we'll get to later.
4: The sides have been 'decorated' with ladders and signs featuring misleading, useless, and generally terrible Minecraft advice (you may need to click and view this one fullscreen)
Inside the house a minecart transportation system has been implemented, making travel within the house much more ridiculous. The track was carefully calibrated to take the least optimal route to the stairs. Sometimes it won't even make it that far.
A new basement was also added, but where's the entrance?
To access the basement, you must first destroy the staircase to the roof. This house allows only one staircase to be functional at any one time.
Down in the basement, we see it has been converted into an underground wheat farm, lit by jack o'lanterns. The farm layout is not designed in any logical or useful fashion. Cactus blocks serve as the path between crop blocks. This means that 90% of the harvest will be destroyed and you'll lose more health collecting the wheat than you'd ever hope to gain back. You can avoid the cactus by leaping from crop block to crop block, but that will ruin the tilled soil and you'll then be required to fetch a hoe from the rooftop storage.
Which requires that you must first destory the entire house, collect all the scattered items, rebuild the house, and then painstakingly re-organise your storage all over again.
This is what happens when you don't want to walk on cactus, you wuss.
1
So the three little pigs set off. Soon they met a man carrying some wool. The first little pig asked "please sir, will you give me some wool? I want to build a house for myself".
The man agreed, and gave the first little pig some wool, who then set off to build his house
The second little pig and the third little pig carried on. Soon they met a man carrying some wood. The second little pig asked "may I have some wood? I wish to build a house for myself".
The man replied "of course", and gave the second little pig some wood, who then set off to build his house.
The third little pig walked on by himself. Soon he met a man carrying some obsidian. The third little pig asked "would you lend me some of your obsidian? I need to build a house for myself".
The man obliged, and gave the third little pig some obsidian, who then set off to build his house.
The next day, the creeper came along the road. He came to the house of wool which the first little pig had built. He knocked on the door, and said "little pig, little pig, let me come in".
"Not by the blocks on my chinny chin chin", replied the first little pig.
"Then I'll hisss, and I'll sisss, and blow your house up!", said the creeper.
So he hissed and sissed and he hissed and he sissed. The house of wool blew up, and the creeper ate up the first little pig.
The next day, the creeper walked further along the road. He came to the house of wood which the second little pig had built. He knocked on the door and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
"Not by the blocks on my chinny chin chin", replied the second little pig.
"Then I'll hisss, and I'll sisss, and blow your house up!", said the creeper.
So he hissed and sissed and he hissed and he sissed. The house of wood blew up, and the creeper ate up the second little pig.
The next day, the creeper walked even further along the road. He came to the house of obsidian which the third little pig had built. He knocked on the door and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
"Not by the blocks on my chinny chin chin", replied the third little pig.
"Then I'll hisss, and I'll sisss, and blow your house up!", said the creeper.
So he hissed and sissed and he hissed and he sissed. But the house of obsidian did not blow up.
The creeper was very angry, and so he hissed and sissed untill he could hiss and siss no more. Still the house did not crumble.
The creeper then blew himself up out of anger, and the third little pig lived happily ever after.
The end
1
21
This is a house made out of uncommon materials. This is a house that has zero practical value.
This is not the house jack built. This is the house inefficiency built.
This is the exterior. The walls required a printing press to produce. Jukeboxes line the doorway. And the door is 1-metre thick pure obsidian. It will take you nearly two minutes to punch your way inside, because you used all your diamonds on the jukeboxes.
"Honey, I'm home... finally..."
Here is the interior. Lighting is provided by a lava-fueled wall mounted furnace, because torches are for wimps. The floor is a lovely checkerboard of workbenches and gold blocks. Everyone knows that the best flooring requires hours of mining away in the underground. The wall chests cannot be accessed without first destroying the bookcase above it. Since bookcases cannot be reclaimed, every time you want to fetch something, you have to re-write several novels afterwards. Finally, note the stair case of furnaces. This staircase is awesome, it eats other staircases for breakfast.
Literally, it eats other staircases to cook my breakfast.
The lazy amongst us would probably note that the floor underneath the staircases cannot be seen, and would elect to fill it with dirt, reasoning that there is no point wasting materials no one can see.
This house was not made by one of those people.
Here we have the roof-top view. Want to know why there are no trees at all? They were all cut down just to the build the roof.
Bookcases have a TNT resistance of 7.5. What this means is that every creeper attack will resemble the aftermath of the Library of Alexandria disaster.
"****, there goes the entire Science Fiction section and half the works of Shakespeare..."
Finally, a fun fact: this house is comprised of 200 blocks, but took 1280 blocks to create. That's an inefficiency ratio of 0.15625 : 1
YET MORE FUN
For more inefficiency, check out the updates I've made since this first post:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
SAVE FILE
Here is the save file, so you can experience first hand the inefficiency of this house. Unzip to your saves folder, and have fun. Have fun exploring some of the other things in this world too.
Save file (5MB)