Expand your backstory, flesh it out some more. Also; "While he is searching for who he was, deep down, he's afraid that he won't like what he finds." That sounds like it could be implemented a bit more into the story as well. I like where you are going with this, the rest of your app seems fine.
The time period section is a bit lacking but you also weren't on the server for as long, so in my opinion there isn't much to expect.
You were a good RP'er on the last variation of the server so I hope we can keep it that way. Nice to see you back.
Also. Not to sound condescending, but is the purple skin really necessary?
How's this? Relative to humans, their IQ would be somewhat lower... After all, they haven't really advanced or studied much. Just led a peaceful, unchanging life underground. As far as discrimination goes against them, there's probably often problems with their weight and weaker structures, and people get the idea they might snack on their more valuable resources if they let them. I was actually considering the eyesight thing too, when I was thinking on it. I like that, I'd like to go with that too yeah. I'll definitely do my best!
I say this on behalf of the staff, we apologize for not allowing a "final event" of sorts.
Also, Charlie:
As he sits in the dimly lit main room of Outpost 241, Charlie Hsu rolls his .44 around in his hands. He stops and looks to the table in sorrow. A letter rests on the rotting wood, a page and a half of words expressing his dismay with the world and his reasoning for choosing this path. Charlie rests his revolver down on the table and scribbles down a name on the paper, holds it up and puts it into his coat. He stands, a bit unstable, and walks over to the glass dome. Charlie looks down at his revolver and slowly raises it to his head. The hammer on the gun activates and Charlie's life ends.
Also, prepare for more SKNIS Characters in rebirth.
You must explain this.
Also, I will be gone tomorrow for three weeks. Just for all of you that don't know.
Adios.
Hi, I'm an old user of the Ruined World server and I'm looking to join. I'll post my application when the server is back up and all refreshed and later if you need a part-time moderator, I'll apply for that as well. I don't have all the time in the world but I find myself with a substantial amount to blow occasionally and I spend it doing nothing on Tumblr.
Sounds great, couldn't help but notice your signature. Do you make banners by any chance?
I'll be coming to this server as a "back up" server, per say, It's why I didn't put much thought into the app. It looks pretty good, though. I commend you, sire. Have you voted for us at Planet Minecraft?:
Not yet. I will if I get accepted.
Define Role-Playing in your words: (See front page for examples)
Roleplaying is taking on the role of someone other than yourself and acting as that person throughout your RP experience. Unless you change characters etc.
Define Meta-gaming in your words:
Using OOC information IC.
Define Power-gaming in your words:
Forcing an unfair action upon someone and/or unfairly buffing your character or “god-moding” him/her.
IC:
Name: Alexander Mansfeld.
Nickname: (Optional) Alex.
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Race: Imperial (Vampire IF possible and allowed.)
Appearance: He has a glum appearance, occasionally he will cloak his glum and desolate demeanor by the means of a cloak/hood and/or mask.
Personality: He is a sadist. He kills for the fun of it. He also has an eye for money and will easily betray his employer for a price higher than his. He tries to keep up the persona of an affluent merchant in stranger’s company. He is a bloodthirsty savage.
In-game RP Fight example: (Include dialog)
Alexander = A
Rowlidge = R
Head Guard = G
A: Heh, easy. *Throws the head at Rowlidge’s feet.*
R: Nice... very impressive. Now die. *5 guards spring out from the shadows around Infirm Rowlidge’s bed
G: Get him men!
*Alexander dispatches the men with ease*
A: How pathetic.
G: What a bunch of idiots. *Charges at Alexander*
A: Hah. *Trips the guard and walks over to Rowlidge, and cuts his head off.
G: You little bast-- *Alexander jumps on the guard with a small knife*
A: Shhhhh.... Shh.....
G: ING LItt--STOP STOP STOP HUAH UAH...*The knife starts to enter the man’s heart*
A: Shh..... Shhhhhhhh....
G: *The man flails for a bit and then his chest collapses in, sputtering blood from his mouth*.
A: Heh heh. *Takes the sword from the man’s scabbard*. He died honorably. *Insultingly salutes him and pokes holes in him with his sword*.
Background: (Detailed and in-depth, 2 paragraphs. Also, explain how you came to be in Akavir.)
Alex was born into a very volatile merchant town in the outskirts of Akavir. And lucky for him, he was born into one of the two most prestigious Imperial houses, the Mansfelds. They were bitter enemies with the Dubarchs, who competed with them for trade and political control over the town. As part of a truce, the two families switched rights every few years to ensure that power remained equal.
Alex was not born into the most prestigious wing of his storied family. His father was a frequent drunk and rapist, the brother of the head of the family, and when he raped a certain friend of the Dubarchs... he found a child on his step in 9 months. Thus, Alex entered the world surrounded by mistrust and intoxication. Other than drinking his father would often pay ludicrous amounts of money for various narcotic substances. Alex largely ignored his father, and soon enough started to despise him.
Alex was not lost on the ways of the Mansfelds. He quickly learned the tricks of the trade, the subtle facial expressions one makes when nervous or agitated, and most of all learned to run when he acquired something expensive. However, he also became a very sadistic boy. He frequently fought kids and continued to kick them once they were on the ground. Soon enough, he had no equal around the town, and this unnatural attention brought him to the leader of the Mansfelds, Bale. The town was undergoing an unusually hard trade period, and there were rumors that the Dubarchs would not give up the yearly trade. Bale thus devised a plan. He told Alex that if he snuck into the Dubarch compound and stole the shipping documents, he would appoint him as his personal attendee.
It was a bloodbath. With a sword he cheated an old man of, he killed 5 guards and left the compound covered in guts. The Dubarchs however had no idea who had done it; and threats from Bale to intercept their shipments persuaded the Dubarchs to not bring the matter to mayoral council. After that, Alex was appointed as Bale’s personal bodyguard. On every one of his birthday nights, he would sneak into the Dubarch compound and kill a family member. With the diminished presence of the Dubarchs, the Mansfelds seized control of the trade and hung it over the head of the other merchant families and the town council.
On his 17th birthday, things continued as usual. He snuck into the compound and this time, he sneaked into the main bedroom, where the aging Patriarch of the Dubarchs slept, Rowlidge. He was awake however, and he offered too sweet a deal for Alex to turn down; a power sword, forged with iron and then reforged with a money interlace. Thus, Alex returned and put a sword through his mentor, Bale Mansfeld. Then, he went into his father’s room and killed him out of spite, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to return to kill him later. When he returned to Rowlidge he found 5 guards at the door, swords drawn, Rowlidge smiling. The man was smiling even after he had his head chopped off and spit on by Alex. Alex took the sword from the the head guard’s hand and promptly left in the midst of night as he walked from the outskirts further into the lands of Akavir.
0
I am indeed here.
y u do dis bel00ga..
0
Accepted.
Nice improvement. Welcome back to the server, Stickybomb.
Hope you have a great time!
0
Expand your backstory, flesh it out some more. Also; "While he is searching for who he was, deep down, he's afraid that he won't like what he finds." That sounds like it could be implemented a bit more into the story as well. I like where you are going with this, the rest of your app seems fine.
And the logo looks great.
I'm onto ya' buddeh.
0
Accepted.
The time period section is a bit lacking but you also weren't on the server for as long, so in my opinion there isn't much to expect.
You were a good RP'er on the last variation of the server so I hope we can keep it that way. Nice to see you back.
Also. Not to sound condescending, but is the purple skin really necessary?
0
Are they called Gorons?
0
Except that QuinnHatrik guy.
0
Seems slighty generic. I suggest putting in some more effort.
0
Yes! YES! He would be.
0
Heh...
0
Unless they died during that period.
0
No apps right now.
You still have a chance later on during the server, it says in Flee's post.
0
Right?
0
You must explain this.
Also, I will be gone tomorrow for three weeks. Just for all of you that don't know.
Adios.
0
Sounds great, couldn't help but notice your signature. Do you make banners by any chance?
0
OOC:
IGN: Eyedeaus
Age:
16
Why us?:
I'll be coming to this server as a "back up" server, per say, It's why I didn't put much thought into the app. It looks pretty good, though. I commend you, sire.
Have you voted for us at Planet Minecraft?:
Not yet. I will if I get accepted.
Define Role-Playing in your words: (See front page for examples)
Roleplaying is taking on the role of someone other than yourself and acting as that person throughout your RP experience. Unless you change characters etc.
Define Meta-gaming in your words:
Using OOC information IC.
Define Power-gaming in your words:
Forcing an unfair action upon someone and/or unfairly buffing your character or “god-moding” him/her.
IC:
Name: Alexander Mansfeld.
Nickname: (Optional) Alex.
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Race: Imperial (Vampire IF possible and allowed.)
Appearance: He has a glum appearance, occasionally he will cloak his glum and desolate demeanor by the means of a cloak/hood and/or mask.
Personality: He is a sadist. He kills for the fun of it. He also has an eye for money and will easily betray his employer for a price higher than his. He tries to keep up the persona of an affluent merchant in stranger’s company. He is a bloodthirsty savage.
In-game RP Fight example: (Include dialog)
Alexander = A
Rowlidge = R
Head Guard = G
A: Heh, easy. *Throws the head at Rowlidge’s feet.*
R: Nice... very impressive. Now die. *5 guards spring out from the shadows around Infirm Rowlidge’s bed
G: Get him men!
*Alexander dispatches the men with ease*
A: How pathetic.
G: What a bunch of idiots. *Charges at Alexander*
A: Hah. *Trips the guard and walks over to Rowlidge, and cuts his head off.
G: You little bast-- *Alexander jumps on the guard with a small knife*
A: Shhhhh.... Shh.....
G: ING LItt--STOP STOP STOP HUAH UAH...*The knife starts to enter the man’s heart*
A: Shh..... Shhhhhhhh....
G: *The man flails for a bit and then his chest collapses in, sputtering blood from his mouth*.
A: Heh heh. *Takes the sword from the man’s scabbard*. He died honorably. *Insultingly salutes him and pokes holes in him with his sword*.
Background: (Detailed and in-depth, 2 paragraphs. Also, explain how you came to be in Akavir.)
Alex was born into a very volatile merchant town in the outskirts of Akavir. And lucky for him, he was born into one of the two most prestigious Imperial houses, the Mansfelds. They were bitter enemies with the Dubarchs, who competed with them for trade and political control over the town. As part of a truce, the two families switched rights every few years to ensure that power remained equal.
Alex was not born into the most prestigious wing of his storied family. His father was a frequent drunk and rapist, the brother of the head of the family, and when he raped a certain friend of the Dubarchs... he found a child on his step in 9 months. Thus, Alex entered the world surrounded by mistrust and intoxication. Other than drinking his father would often pay ludicrous amounts of money for various narcotic substances. Alex largely ignored his father, and soon enough started to despise him.
Alex was not lost on the ways of the Mansfelds. He quickly learned the tricks of the trade, the subtle facial expressions one makes when nervous or agitated, and most of all learned to run when he acquired something expensive. However, he also became a very sadistic boy. He frequently fought kids and continued to kick them once they were on the ground. Soon enough, he had no equal around the town, and this unnatural attention brought him to the leader of the Mansfelds, Bale. The town was undergoing an unusually hard trade period, and there were rumors that the Dubarchs would not give up the yearly trade. Bale thus devised a plan. He told Alex that if he snuck into the Dubarch compound and stole the shipping documents, he would appoint him as his personal attendee.
It was a bloodbath. With a sword he cheated an old man of, he killed 5 guards and left the compound covered in guts. The Dubarchs however had no idea who had done it; and threats from Bale to intercept their shipments persuaded the Dubarchs to not bring the matter to mayoral council. After that, Alex was appointed as Bale’s personal bodyguard. On every one of his birthday nights, he would sneak into the Dubarch compound and kill a family member. With the diminished presence of the Dubarchs, the Mansfelds seized control of the trade and hung it over the head of the other merchant families and the town council.
On his 17th birthday, things continued as usual. He snuck into the compound and this time, he sneaked into the main bedroom, where the aging Patriarch of the Dubarchs slept, Rowlidge. He was awake however, and he offered too sweet a deal for Alex to turn down; a power sword, forged with iron and then reforged with a money interlace. Thus, Alex returned and put a sword through his mentor, Bale Mansfeld. Then, he went into his father’s room and killed him out of spite, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to return to kill him later. When he returned to Rowlidge he found 5 guards at the door, swords drawn, Rowlidge smiling. The man was smiling even after he had his head chopped off and spit on by Alex. Alex took the sword from the the head guard’s hand and promptly left in the midst of night as he walked from the outskirts further into the lands of Akavir.