Thank you for your patience! The backstory for Esra does well to incorporate a lot of the server's lore, though there are some things that need some expansion on.
While it's possible for Esra to be the illegitimate son of a nobleman, he will by no means know of his heritage seeing as the mother would have quickly turned him over to the orphanage. Thus he cannot ever tell even a rumor of being a nobleman's son, as half-elves who tell of this are usually silenced to safe face. This is just for clarification of what the character will be aware of (or in this case, not aware of) regarding their birth!
At the time when the fight to close the Demon Gates came to head, the heaviest assault fell upon the newly reclaimed walls of Falkvard. It does not seem likely that the orphanage-mother would be killed during this, since the official orphanage in Barkamsted was located atop a high hill away from direct attack. Unless he was being raised by a separate foster or was out playing with another kid in a different instance, the matron at the time would have little reason to be away from the orphanage in order to be killed.
While the personality explains Esra's ideas on Behmos worship, the backstory does not quite explain how he came to these beliefs. The mentor he found among the troupe was responsible for giving him an understanding on dark magic, yes, but practicing dark magic does not immediately correlate to active worship of Behmos, of which is outlawed. There will need to be more clarification and expansion upon how he came to value these views pertaining to Behmos specifically. Since it's possible to seek dark magic without praising the sin father.
For the magic application on the question asking for an example of how your character would use a weak trinket of their aspect, it's ideal to pick one specifically and describe what he would be able to do at that level. For instance, if the aspect was fire he'd be able to make small sparks.
Thank you for your patience! In all fairness your application is very well structured and I can envision a lot of the character's mannerisms and conduct based on how you have written his personality. Not only that but you did a very good job incorporating the server's lore into his own personal experiences with his family and himself. There is but only one minor tweak that you will need to adjust or clarify. It is mentioned his mother Alanae died of the Plague, but it should be noted that as an elf she would be immune to all disease. In fact, the kingdom took advantage of this and employed or took on volunteers that were of full high-elven blood as couriers to keep communication moving between folks during the quarantine phase. It's possible that she might have died after an unfortunate encounter with the undead that rose from the plague's victims, but she herself would have never been infected.
Thank you for updating your application, though apologies on the wait! I see some of the changes here especially with the last paragraph of the backstory, but I still feel like you are missing a portion from my original review. Namely, in this section here.
"On a day like any other day, she was going out to tend the fields, when her parents became very ill from the plague. The crop had been very poor that year, and she was unable to care for her parents using the little money they had. There wasn’t much she could do, so she left home hoping to make money to pay for a doctor to care for them. However 3 months into her journey as a traveling painter, painting portraits for whoever paid her, she received word that both her parents had succumbed to their illnesses and died. She was heart broken. She sold their home and land, but it was worth little to nothing."
My first review still applies:
One major event that you are missing within the character's background is mention of the Plague that devastated the population. Both Falkvard and Barkamsted were hit with the plague, the latter being struck the hardest, which caused the infected dead to rise back up as zombies to spread the disease further. This happened 13 years ago, making Dem 6-years-old at the time, so while she is young it is important to make mention of how it affected her and her family. Perhaps you could even allude to this later in life with how her parents both fell ill and eventually expired. Maybe they wanted her to leave the home for quarantine in fear that it was the plague striking up again. You can even further justify the crop being rather poor that year by connecting it to the farming blight that occurred 3 years ago now IC, where a massive amount of farmlife throughout the land had become drained and withered for poor harvest of that year.
If her parents had died from the plague, then Dem is only 6-years-old. I don't see it plausible at all for one so young to go out on her own for that period of time in hopes to earn money. Please clarify the details here and you'll be golden!
A well done application, though there are a few minor things to tweak! Her father mentioned having moved to this unnamed town when Silivrenmir fell, but I'm not sure if this is mentioned for timeframe or if the father had lived there. Silivrenmir was exclusively the home of the elves that sought to isolate themselves from the rest, so it is unlikely for a human family to have resided there. As well as this, Barkamsted had become the last known bastion to man during the war, so any outlying towns and cities would have fallen. It's a simple fix here by noting that Dem grew up in the farming district of Barkamsted.
Another point to mention is the character's age. 22 years ago in the server's timeline, the Pact and the Alliance put aside their war in favor of putting a stop to the cult opening up the gates to hell. A year later, the wars ended but the path toward rebuilding had started. This however makes Dem's age at 19 too young for her father to claim to have defended her from orcs when she was very little, which isn't too much of an issue given that he could just be fabricating a tale to tell which could be far from the truth. Just something to keep in mind for the timeline!
One major event that you are missing within the character's background is mention of the Plague that devastated the population. Both Falkvard and Barkamsted were hit with the plague, the latter being struck the hardest, which caused the infected dead to rise back up as zombies to spread the disease further. This happened 13 years ago, making Dem 6-years-old at the time, so while she is young it is important to make mention of how it affected her and her family. Perhaps you could even allude to this later in life with how her parents both fell ill and eventually expired. Maybe they wanted her to leave the home for quarantine in fear that it was the plague striking up again. You can even further justify the crop being rather poor that year by connecting it to the farming blight that occurred 3 years ago now IC, where a massive amount of farmlife throughout the land had become drained and withered for poor harvest of that year.
The latter portion where she was imprisoned within a town and then forgotten about seems incredibly unlikely to me. As noted, there aren't that many towns remaining after the impact of the war, though a few small villages exist here and there (though they are ultimately under the same jurisdiction as the Kingdom). At the very least she could have just been imprisoned for a time within the Kingdom and released after she did her time, as execution is not always the first solution for criminals. If anything in this application needs a major change, it's largely this portion here. If you have any questions about anything feel free to ask!
Hope you had a happy holiday! And another to come even. Apologies on the wait, the season gets a lot of us more occupied then. As for your application, right now it is...
Pending
First and foremost I'd like you to try your best to define power gaming in your own words. It's crucial to the understanding of how to RP with others cooperatively rather than aggressively against each other.
As for height we're not so much going off of the technical Minecraft block height for average humans. In fact, 2 blocks is roughly more like 6' by most people, while the average human male height does in fact tend to be 6'. Humans are rather varied here and can range from a few different heights so for Dylan he can fall in any range, just be clear about it and list it. Aside from that, his character description already tells a lot about his personality without even getting into it so good work there!
Your backstory is the most lacking part of this application, as we require at minimum three paragraph describing their history and experiences with the server lore. The Pact War will always be a big thing which you did indeed mention here, but it should be noted the war had met its conclusion 21 years ago now. At 18, Dylan would have been far too young to be orphaned from his parents during it. The impact of the war was monumental to all lives, so it's a bit justified that his father would be over thinking the harshness of the world. Not only did Barkamsted become the very last bastion of mankind, but many lives and history was lost to it. Either Dylan will need a massive age boost or the way how he lost his parents will need to be changed, but you're on the right track with mentioning how the Pact War affected his family's life.
Other important story details to include was the plague that devasted the kingdom, hitting both Barkamsted and Falkvard pretty hard but the former of the two having the most damage. This happened 13 years ago now in the server's timeline, and though it was efficiently dealt with in that same year it resulted in a lot of deaths. Even worse was that those deaths resulted in zombies rising up and attacking again to spread the disease further. It is important the to note how your character was affected by this plague and how they would have managed through it.
Thank your for your revisions! Though a part of the main backstory mentions how he left the trinket behind with his family, it's just a small line that was simply left over from the previous version. Without further ado, this application is
Sort of hard to find stuff about the plague. When did it end, how deadly was it, and how much writing do I need to do just to get into a server that I know almost nothing about?
The server's timeline is available here, under the 'Lore' tab of our enjin site. Since a lot of these events happened throughout the server's history, a lot of the details can be a bit difficult to fully explain in a short blurb, but everyone is always welcomed to asking questions to a whitelister through direct messages or joining our server's Discord. https://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/generallore
For the plague, it had a massive impact on the population. A lot of people did die in but a few short days; not only that, the dead would rise back up as the undead since the plague was part of the Cult's design. In Barkamsted it hit hardest, since nobody was allowed to pass through the cities without thorough inspection for symptoms, though it was much the same in Falkvard too with both cities having a quarantine for the infected. The dead would be burned to prevent them from returning as zombies. It ended that same year but the death toll it reaped was not one to take lightly.
This is a lovely application with a great understanding of magic's limitations, though it must be noted one more major event that would have had a larger Aey’reia's lifetime. Having lived in Barkamsted, she and her father would have experienced some of the worst of the plague when it first struck the cities 12 years ago. When those who were sick eventually perished, the bodies would rise back up as the undead causing more of the infection to spread. There were quarantine camps set up outside the city walls until holy mages who were not affected by the curse or medicines could ensure that the infected would heal. If you could describe Aey'reia's own exposure to the plague and how she endured through this period, that would be splendid. There is also the matter of the Ca'Liar invading Barkamsted once which resulted in the people of Saphriel's involvement in the Acaedia War, but that did not have as much as a wide-reaching impact as the Plague.
Another thing to note that adulthood for dwarfs is at 40 years of age, so all things considered Aey'reia's still a rather young lass in society's view. Her age now is similar to a human at the early range of 18-20, so if you want to keep it at 36 it's simply something to keep in mind.
Funnily enough you actually flipped powergaming and metagaming's definitions around in the format while still describing them correctly! This does not negatively affect your review since in your explanation you still name each one within your writing, so just switch the placement and that should be all well and good.
Though you have made mention of the Acaedia War and the Plague, these events seem but a footnote in Louise's life. When the plague struck she would have been merely 7 years old at this time and the impact it had on Barkamsted massively effected all lives. The city was put into a strict quarantine and it is likely too that the cottage she lived in would have seen the undead at its doorstep. Not only that but the family would have been closed off from the city for a time, so it still can be a rather prominent event for her even in the outlaying parts of the city. There were even camps set up right outside the city walls to hold the infected until treatment came. As well as this, I'd like for there to be mention about the impact that the Pact War would have had on how her family adjusted to the state of the realm. She was born a year after the War had ended, but it still plays a key role in how her childhood would be shaped. Did it take long for her family to make a home for themselves now that most of the danger had passed? How did her family perceive races like orcs and goblins now that they became more welcomed to Barkamsted? It is worthwhile to have its mention.
Furthermore, being outnumbered in the wild as a sole hunter is not a matter to take lightly. Especially here on the server, as many people in Saphriel will know that the greatest danger lies in travelling alone. I find it unlikely that Louise would have been able to escape a group of wolves with but a few scratches that she could recover from quickly. Earlier she had a similar run in with a bear, but her father was there at the time to help her. In this scenario, she is alone, yet still managed to escape with some injuries and accept the kindness of a stranger. It's an easy fix, really. Either it could be that she fled before the wolves could close in on her, or the stranger could have happened upon her to save her from being outnumbered by wild beasts. Fleshing out on these details could make for a much more fluent story for her to reflect back on.
Your application is rather well done and fits in line with the server's lore very nicely! There are, however, a few small things that will need to be adjusted. For one, the character's name 'Mayuko Sanbasuto' really stands out compared to the common human culture. I saw that there was mention that her ancestry hails from lands outside of Saphriel, though it must be noted that the seas are incredibly dangerous and the few outlying islands there are have more specific cultures that need to be elaborated on. If anything, her naming convention fits more with Ca'Liar so either it will need to be adjusted or given a more thorough explanation to why her name is this. If you'd like to learn more about the other cultures, you can send me a PM here on the forums or through Discord Cyshadichu#7108
On another note, her age conflicts with the timeline of the Ca'Liar invasion. It states that Mayuko was 16 at the time, though given that invasion happened 11 years ago she'd actually be 13 at the current age she is now. Would be best to either change her age to 27, or the backstory to reflect that she would have been 13 at the time. Other than that, I quite like all the other details of the application, especially her personality.
Though I put this app on Pending very loosely, since it's actually very decently constructed. What I'd like to see is some more additional mention of the server's lore as well as a small revision to his magic backstory. At the age of 19, Falko wouldn't have experienced the war for himself and you did make note of this with his parents having moved to Falkvard after its reclaimation. It should be noted that Falkvard had fallen 86 years ago currently (or 64 years ago by the time the parents could have moved there), so what could have led them to move there when the family had lost most if not all of its money during the war? Did they ever have doubts of being able to make due for their newborn son in a city that was still largely in repair? Did they struggle a lot to make ends meet with their new shop while also raising Falko? What sort of impact did that have on his youth when they were poor at the time and at what point were they able to live more comfortably?
Likewise, the city would have still been hit by the plague 12 years ago now on the server. It wasn't as bad as Barkamsted where the quarantine was incredibly strict and the undead came in overwhelming numbers, but it was still a prominent threat where some people were isolated to a spot until treatment came (if it did). How then did Falko and his family cope with the plague? Did any of them end up becoming ill or lose anything during it?
As for the magic backstory, while trinkets are rare it is exceedingly more rare to have been in possession of a trinket with three different aspects connected to it. You can surely determine what aspects your character would have now before they happen to practice it on the server, but it is unlikely he would have had access to all of them in his youth. As well as this, it's never fully explained why he would have left the trinket behind when he left his family. While nobody can start out with a trinket on their new characters, I think it would make for a more interesting story to detail what might have happened to it. It's not entirely necessary though, but it can help flesh out the character's actions and motivations. Everything else about the magic application shows you have a very solid understanding of how the system works so in the end it would earn my approval.
Thank you for your revisions! One minor note is that the artefact he recovered at the very last part of the backstory could have been lost to the sea as he jumped overboard. Perhaps he recognized it as a trinket, or an item with a greater magical potential behind it, but he will not be starting with it in his possession.
Deeply sorry about the wait! It seems it went by without our initial notice. The application is rather solid in its characterization of Alucard, and your understanding of the magical system is very thorough. I will note however that sight is always required to cast, so if a character's vision is obscured they won't be able to direct any magic in that space. I also noticed that his sapphire brow piercing is intended to be a magical trinket, but unfortunately no character can enter the server with a trinket. They are rare artefacts among the population as a whole and can only be obtained through RP on the server. He can still keep the piercing, but it will not have any magical potential.
As for the main application it is...
Pending
One key thing you are missing in the application is any mention of the server's major events. The first and most important one that encompasses every life is the Pact War. A lot of cities fell to this war, a lot of history forgotten by its influence. Though the war ended 20 years ago, its impact still remains prevalent in his early life. Namely in his family with elves, perhaps even aiding to his very existence as a half-elf. Aside from this there was also the plague born from the cult that swept through Barkamsted 12 years ago, and the misunderstanding invasion of the Ca'Liar just a year after that. Was Alucard around at that time or was he out forging his life around the docks? There are a number of events you could include, with how he might have directly experienced any of them, but if you need help figuring out more of the timeline feel free to shoot me a message!
Thank you for making the adjustments! Though since you had not filled out the magic application, Tara will be starting out with no innate ability to cast it. With that, this app is...
0
Quote from IdealSybil>>
-snip-
Pending
Thank you for your patience! The backstory for Esra does well to incorporate a lot of the server's lore, though there are some things that need some expansion on.
While it's possible for Esra to be the illegitimate son of a nobleman, he will by no means know of his heritage seeing as the mother would have quickly turned him over to the orphanage. Thus he cannot ever tell even a rumor of being a nobleman's son, as half-elves who tell of this are usually silenced to safe face. This is just for clarification of what the character will be aware of (or in this case, not aware of) regarding their birth!
At the time when the fight to close the Demon Gates came to head, the heaviest assault fell upon the newly reclaimed walls of Falkvard. It does not seem likely that the orphanage-mother would be killed during this, since the official orphanage in Barkamsted was located atop a high hill away from direct attack. Unless he was being raised by a separate foster or was out playing with another kid in a different instance, the matron at the time would have little reason to be away from the orphanage in order to be killed.
While the personality explains Esra's ideas on Behmos worship, the backstory does not quite explain how he came to these beliefs. The mentor he found among the troupe was responsible for giving him an understanding on dark magic, yes, but practicing dark magic does not immediately correlate to active worship of Behmos, of which is outlawed. There will need to be more clarification and expansion upon how he came to value these views pertaining to Behmos specifically. Since it's possible to seek dark magic without praising the sin father.
For the magic application on the question asking for an example of how your character would use a weak trinket of their aspect, it's ideal to pick one specifically and describe what he would be able to do at that level. For instance, if the aspect was fire he'd be able to make small sparks.
Let me know once you make the updates!
0
Thank you for your quick revision! With that I'm pleased to say you are...
Accepted!
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Discord: https://discord.gg/zgBhG7F
1.14.4 Forge + MorePlayerModels + Optifine + Saphriel Conquest Texture Pack: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/24775210-more-player-models-texturepack-optifine-get
New Items Textures(either download this or enable server resource packs to see all our server's custom items!): http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/30817511-newitems-client-side-for-lag
0
Pending
Thank you for your patience! In all fairness your application is very well structured and I can envision a lot of the character's mannerisms and conduct based on how you have written his personality. Not only that but you did a very good job incorporating the server's lore into his own personal experiences with his family and himself. There is but only one minor tweak that you will need to adjust or clarify. It is mentioned his mother Alanae died of the Plague, but it should be noted that as an elf she would be immune to all disease. In fact, the kingdom took advantage of this and employed or took on volunteers that were of full high-elven blood as couriers to keep communication moving between folks during the quarantine phase. It's possible that she might have died after an unfortunate encounter with the undead that rose from the plague's victims, but she herself would have never been infected.
0
Pending
Thank you for updating your application, though apologies on the wait! I see some of the changes here especially with the last paragraph of the backstory, but I still feel like you are missing a portion from my original review. Namely, in this section here.
"On a day like any other day, she was going out to tend the fields, when her parents became very ill from the plague. The crop had been very poor that year, and she was unable to care for her parents using the little money they had. There wasn’t much she could do, so she left home hoping to make money to pay for a doctor to care for them. However 3 months into her journey as a traveling painter, painting portraits for whoever paid her, she received word that both her parents had succumbed to their illnesses and died. She was heart broken. She sold their home and land, but it was worth little to nothing."
My first review still applies:
One major event that you are missing within the character's background is mention of the Plague that devastated the population. Both Falkvard and Barkamsted were hit with the plague, the latter being struck the hardest, which caused the infected dead to rise back up as zombies to spread the disease further. This happened 13 years ago, making Dem 6-years-old at the time, so while she is young it is important to make mention of how it affected her and her family. Perhaps you could even allude to this later in life with how her parents both fell ill and eventually expired. Maybe they wanted her to leave the home for quarantine in fear that it was the plague striking up again. You can even further justify the crop being rather poor that year by connecting it to the farming blight that occurred 3 years ago now IC, where a massive amount of farmlife throughout the land had become drained and withered for poor harvest of that year.
If her parents had died from the plague, then Dem is only 6-years-old. I don't see it plausible at all for one so young to go out on her own for that period of time in hopes to earn money. Please clarify the details here and you'll be golden!
0
Pending
A well done application, though there are a few minor things to tweak! Her father mentioned having moved to this unnamed town when Silivrenmir fell, but I'm not sure if this is mentioned for timeframe or if the father had lived there. Silivrenmir was exclusively the home of the elves that sought to isolate themselves from the rest, so it is unlikely for a human family to have resided there. As well as this, Barkamsted had become the last known bastion to man during the war, so any outlying towns and cities would have fallen. It's a simple fix here by noting that Dem grew up in the farming district of Barkamsted.
Another point to mention is the character's age. 22 years ago in the server's timeline, the Pact and the Alliance put aside their war in favor of putting a stop to the cult opening up the gates to hell. A year later, the wars ended but the path toward rebuilding had started. This however makes Dem's age at 19 too young for her father to claim to have defended her from orcs when she was very little, which isn't too much of an issue given that he could just be fabricating a tale to tell which could be far from the truth. Just something to keep in mind for the timeline!
One major event that you are missing within the character's background is mention of the Plague that devastated the population. Both Falkvard and Barkamsted were hit with the plague, the latter being struck the hardest, which caused the infected dead to rise back up as zombies to spread the disease further. This happened 13 years ago, making Dem 6-years-old at the time, so while she is young it is important to make mention of how it affected her and her family. Perhaps you could even allude to this later in life with how her parents both fell ill and eventually expired. Maybe they wanted her to leave the home for quarantine in fear that it was the plague striking up again. You can even further justify the crop being rather poor that year by connecting it to the farming blight that occurred 3 years ago now IC, where a massive amount of farmlife throughout the land had become drained and withered for poor harvest of that year.
The latter portion where she was imprisoned within a town and then forgotten about seems incredibly unlikely to me. As noted, there aren't that many towns remaining after the impact of the war, though a few small villages exist here and there (though they are ultimately under the same jurisdiction as the Kingdom). At the very least she could have just been imprisoned for a time within the Kingdom and released after she did her time, as execution is not always the first solution for criminals. If anything in this application needs a major change, it's largely this portion here. If you have any questions about anything feel free to ask!
0
Hope you had a happy holiday! And another to come even. Apologies on the wait, the season gets a lot of us more occupied then. As for your application, right now it is...
Pending
First and foremost I'd like you to try your best to define power gaming in your own words. It's crucial to the understanding of how to RP with others cooperatively rather than aggressively against each other.
As for height we're not so much going off of the technical Minecraft block height for average humans. In fact, 2 blocks is roughly more like 6' by most people, while the average human male height does in fact tend to be 6'. Humans are rather varied here and can range from a few different heights so for Dylan he can fall in any range, just be clear about it and list it. Aside from that, his character description already tells a lot about his personality without even getting into it so good work there!
Your backstory is the most lacking part of this application, as we require at minimum three paragraph describing their history and experiences with the server lore. The Pact War will always be a big thing which you did indeed mention here, but it should be noted the war had met its conclusion 21 years ago now. At 18, Dylan would have been far too young to be orphaned from his parents during it. The impact of the war was monumental to all lives, so it's a bit justified that his father would be over thinking the harshness of the world. Not only did Barkamsted become the very last bastion of mankind, but many lives and history was lost to it. Either Dylan will need a massive age boost or the way how he lost his parents will need to be changed, but you're on the right track with mentioning how the Pact War affected his family's life.
Other important story details to include was the plague that devasted the kingdom, hitting both Barkamsted and Falkvard pretty hard but the former of the two having the most damage. This happened 13 years ago now in the server's timeline, and though it was efficiently dealt with in that same year it resulted in a lot of deaths. Even worse was that those deaths resulted in zombies rising up and attacking again to spread the disease further. It is important the to note how your character was affected by this plague and how they would have managed through it.
0
Thank your for your revisions! Though a part of the main backstory mentions how he left the trinket behind with his family, it's just a small line that was simply left over from the previous version. Without further ado, this application is
Accepted!
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
1.14.4 Forge + MorePlayerModels + Optifine + Saphriel Conquest Texture Pack: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/24775210-more-player-models-texturepack-optifine-get
New Items Textures(either download this or enable server resource packs to see all our server's custom items!): http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/30817511-newitems-client-side-for-lag
0
Accepted!
Thank you for your additions! I hope you enjoy the community here. ^^
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
1.14.4 Forge + MorePlayerModels + Optifine + Saphriel Conquest Texture Pack: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/24775210-more-player-models-texturepack-optifine-get
New Items Textures(either download this or enable server resource packs to see all our server's custom items!): http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/30817511-newitems-client-side-for-lag
0
The server's timeline is available here, under the 'Lore' tab of our enjin site. Since a lot of these events happened throughout the server's history, a lot of the details can be a bit difficult to fully explain in a short blurb, but everyone is always welcomed to asking questions to a whitelister through direct messages or joining our server's Discord.
https://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/generallore
For the plague, it had a massive impact on the population. A lot of people did die in but a few short days; not only that, the dead would rise back up as the undead since the plague was part of the Cult's design. In Barkamsted it hit hardest, since nobody was allowed to pass through the cities without thorough inspection for symptoms, though it was much the same in Falkvard too with both cities having a quarantine for the infected. The dead would be burned to prevent them from returning as zombies. It ended that same year but the death toll it reaped was not one to take lightly.
Pending
This is a lovely application with a great understanding of magic's limitations, though it must be noted one more major event that would have had a larger Aey’reia's lifetime. Having lived in Barkamsted, she and her father would have experienced some of the worst of the plague when it first struck the cities 12 years ago. When those who were sick eventually perished, the bodies would rise back up as the undead causing more of the infection to spread. There were quarantine camps set up outside the city walls until holy mages who were not affected by the curse or medicines could ensure that the infected would heal. If you could describe Aey'reia's own exposure to the plague and how she endured through this period, that would be splendid. There is also the matter of the Ca'Liar invading Barkamsted once which resulted in the people of Saphriel's involvement in the Acaedia War, but that did not have as much as a wide-reaching impact as the Plague.
Another thing to note that adulthood for dwarfs is at 40 years of age, so all things considered Aey'reia's still a rather young lass in society's view. Her age now is similar to a human at the early range of 18-20, so if you want to keep it at 36 it's simply something to keep in mind.
Funnily enough you actually flipped powergaming and metagaming's definitions around in the format while still describing them correctly! This does not negatively affect your review since in your explanation you still name each one within your writing, so just switch the placement and that should be all well and good.
0
Thank you for your revision! With that your application is...
Accepted!
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
Discord: https://discord.gg/zgBhG7F
1.14.4 Forge + MorePlayerModels + Optifine + Saphriel Conquest Texture Pack: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/24775210-more-player-models-texturepack-optifine-get
New Items Textures(either download this or enable server resource packs to see all our server's custom items!): http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/30817511-newitems-client-side-for-lag
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Pending
Though you have made mention of the Acaedia War and the Plague, these events seem but a footnote in Louise's life. When the plague struck she would have been merely 7 years old at this time and the impact it had on Barkamsted massively effected all lives. The city was put into a strict quarantine and it is likely too that the cottage she lived in would have seen the undead at its doorstep. Not only that but the family would have been closed off from the city for a time, so it still can be a rather prominent event for her even in the outlaying parts of the city. There were even camps set up right outside the city walls to hold the infected until treatment came. As well as this, I'd like for there to be mention about the impact that the Pact War would have had on how her family adjusted to the state of the realm. She was born a year after the War had ended, but it still plays a key role in how her childhood would be shaped. Did it take long for her family to make a home for themselves now that most of the danger had passed? How did her family perceive races like orcs and goblins now that they became more welcomed to Barkamsted? It is worthwhile to have its mention.
Furthermore, being outnumbered in the wild as a sole hunter is not a matter to take lightly. Especially here on the server, as many people in Saphriel will know that the greatest danger lies in travelling alone. I find it unlikely that Louise would have been able to escape a group of wolves with but a few scratches that she could recover from quickly. Earlier she had a similar run in with a bear, but her father was there at the time to help her. In this scenario, she is alone, yet still managed to escape with some injuries and accept the kindness of a stranger. It's an easy fix, really. Either it could be that she fled before the wolves could close in on her, or the stranger could have happened upon her to save her from being outnumbered by wild beasts. Fleshing out on these details could make for a much more fluent story for her to reflect back on.
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Apologies on the wait for the both of you! It's been a busy week with the holiday for quite a few and their families so I thank you for your patience.
Pending
Your application is rather well done and fits in line with the server's lore very nicely! There are, however, a few small things that will need to be adjusted. For one, the character's name 'Mayuko Sanbasuto' really stands out compared to the common human culture. I saw that there was mention that her ancestry hails from lands outside of Saphriel, though it must be noted that the seas are incredibly dangerous and the few outlying islands there are have more specific cultures that need to be elaborated on. If anything, her naming convention fits more with Ca'Liar so either it will need to be adjusted or given a more thorough explanation to why her name is this. If you'd like to learn more about the other cultures, you can send me a PM here on the forums or through Discord Cyshadichu#7108
On another note, her age conflicts with the timeline of the Ca'Liar invasion. It states that Mayuko was 16 at the time, though given that invasion happened 11 years ago she'd actually be 13 at the current age she is now. Would be best to either change her age to 27, or the backstory to reflect that she would have been 13 at the time. Other than that, I quite like all the other details of the application, especially her personality.
Pending
Though I put this app on Pending very loosely, since it's actually very decently constructed. What I'd like to see is some more additional mention of the server's lore as well as a small revision to his magic backstory. At the age of 19, Falko wouldn't have experienced the war for himself and you did make note of this with his parents having moved to Falkvard after its reclaimation. It should be noted that Falkvard had fallen 86 years ago currently (or 64 years ago by the time the parents could have moved there), so what could have led them to move there when the family had lost most if not all of its money during the war? Did they ever have doubts of being able to make due for their newborn son in a city that was still largely in repair? Did they struggle a lot to make ends meet with their new shop while also raising Falko? What sort of impact did that have on his youth when they were poor at the time and at what point were they able to live more comfortably?
Likewise, the city would have still been hit by the plague 12 years ago now on the server. It wasn't as bad as Barkamsted where the quarantine was incredibly strict and the undead came in overwhelming numbers, but it was still a prominent threat where some people were isolated to a spot until treatment came (if it did). How then did Falko and his family cope with the plague? Did any of them end up becoming ill or lose anything during it?
As for the magic backstory, while trinkets are rare it is exceedingly more rare to have been in possession of a trinket with three different aspects connected to it. You can surely determine what aspects your character would have now before they happen to practice it on the server, but it is unlikely he would have had access to all of them in his youth. As well as this, it's never fully explained why he would have left the trinket behind when he left his family. While nobody can start out with a trinket on their new characters, I think it would make for a more interesting story to detail what might have happened to it. It's not entirely necessary though, but it can help flesh out the character's actions and motivations. Everything else about the magic application shows you have a very solid understanding of how the system works so in the end it would earn my approval.
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Thank you for your revisions! One minor note is that the artefact he recovered at the very last part of the backstory could have been lost to the sea as he jumped overboard. Perhaps he recognized it as a trinket, or an item with a greater magical potential behind it, but he will not be starting with it in his possession.
Accepted!
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
1.14.4 Forge + MorePlayerModels + Optifine + Saphriel Conquest Texture Pack: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/24775210-more-player-models-texturepack-optifine-get
New Items Textures(either download this or enable server resource packs to see all our server's custom items!): http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/30817511-newitems-client-side-for-lag
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Deeply sorry about the wait! It seems it went by without our initial notice. The application is rather solid in its characterization of Alucard, and your understanding of the magical system is very thorough. I will note however that sight is always required to cast, so if a character's vision is obscured they won't be able to direct any magic in that space. I also noticed that his sapphire brow piercing is intended to be a magical trinket, but unfortunately no character can enter the server with a trinket. They are rare artefacts among the population as a whole and can only be obtained through RP on the server. He can still keep the piercing, but it will not have any magical potential.
As for the main application it is...
Pending
One key thing you are missing in the application is any mention of the server's major events. The first and most important one that encompasses every life is the Pact War. A lot of cities fell to this war, a lot of history forgotten by its influence. Though the war ended 20 years ago, its impact still remains prevalent in his early life. Namely in his family with elves, perhaps even aiding to his very existence as a half-elf. Aside from this there was also the plague born from the cult that swept through Barkamsted 12 years ago, and the misunderstanding invasion of the Ca'Liar just a year after that. Was Alucard around at that time or was he out forging his life around the docks? There are a number of events you could include, with how he might have directly experienced any of them, but if you need help figuring out more of the timeline feel free to shoot me a message!
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Thank you for making the adjustments! Though since you had not filled out the magic application, Tara will be starting out with no innate ability to cast it. With that, this app is...
Accepted!
Server IP: s21.minespan.com:26802
1.12.2 Forge + MorePlayerModels + Optifine + Saphriel Conquest Texture Pack: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/24775210-more-player-models-texturepack-optifine-get
New Items Textures(either download this or enable server resource packs to see all our server's custom items!): http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewthread/30817511-newitems-client-side-for-lag