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    posted a message on From The Ashes Chapter 1: In the Footsteps of Thaer -|- Serious Roleplay -|- Custom Coded -|- Experienced Staff -|- Active -|-

    Koaritz: Deferred


    You've got something good going here, but it still needs work. Firstly, you need to get rid of all the stuff from TAC. It makes the application look like something copied and pasted. Secondly, your physical description of your character is rather meager. You posted a link to his visual description, but we need to know what he looks like as if it were written down without pictures. Stuff to include would be height, weight, his dominant hand, eye color, hair color, skin color, whether or not he's missing any limbs or other extremities, and any other physical description you can think of. Also, your answer for when to speak IC could use more specific details.


    Your biography has something started, but it just isn't full of enough detail yet. You mention his family haphazardly throughout the first half. A good tip would be to organize the bits about the family at the very beginning. Also, the info about his home is contradictory. He's "raised in the wilds," but a household is mentioned. You could mention something like a Log Cabin, a Cave, or even that his family is a traveling band of thieves or charlatans. Also, you should elaborate further in what "good life skills" he learned, as well as how he learned them. All you currently have is when, and it's a pretty big timegap. You could mention some of the exploits he had with his family, the lessons he's learned. You could also further elaborate on the father's past as a soldier, as well as how he came to start living in the wilds with his family. It would also help if you explained where these wilds are on the map, and if they're anywhere near civilization.


    And then there's the part where a group of heinous vagabounds show up out of nowhere and burn down the house AND the forest, with the fates of his family being left ambiguously in the air. It's never explained WHO those bad guys exactly are show up and be nasty, or what ultimately happens to the family. And did all of them really get away? Did the father die fighting? Did he witness any of it? I recommend having something that leads up to the moment of tragedy. Also, why burn down the forest when they could just burn down the house? Forests are usually filled with fresh Game to hunt for, as well as providing timber for building houses and furniture. That is, IF there's any civilization nearby. You could say that the fire spread out of control and burnt down the forest. The moral-decision-making part was well made. Killing people is not easy, especially for first-timers. (Not that I know that firsthand, I'm no killer.)


    You need to elaborate further on what his strengths are. A human personality is not easily defined with just a few words such as "Kind and Funny." Also, I know that he uses a bow, but you need to mention that. "Deadly Aim" is not the only thing you can mention about that. Also, you never bothered to mention his hunting skills in his list of strengths. Even if it was mentioned prior in another section of the app, you NEED to list it as a strength, otherwise it cannot and will not be counted as an actual strength you can use.


    Also, your weaknesses don't make sense. People who hunt for a living do not have weak muscles, especially if they've done it their whole life as indicated in his bio. Also, the way you portray it as a weakness rather shallow. Having weak muscles is a weakness because, well, it makes them physically weaker. And people on here are not shallow to the point where they'll shun him just for looking weak. Also, "Having a small bow" is not a weakness because he can easily get a better, new one. Heck, he can even make one himself if he knows how. Finally, "having a lust for literature" is also not a weakness. It's a passion. A personality trait. You also need to explain where this interest in reading comes from. Finally, your character is a child. They will be coming to Thaeron. A city. Child Characters cannot own homes, so think about your character's age a bit more before you re-submit. Also, there's also the fact that you haven't mentioned any aspects of the world, such as the Island of Enris, the Cordolan Confederation and its nations, or the threat of the Undead. You should try to make your character more connected to this server.


    Finally, several of your traits don't match your bio. There's nothing in your bio, or even your strengths/weaknesses about being a miner, or knowing how to use simple weapons. There's also nothing about being a lumberjack in there either, or voice impressions. The only ones that make sense are Orator, Sneak, and Ranged Weapons. I recommend upgrading either Sneak or Ranged, given how your character is supposed to be awesome at hunting and archery. Take another look at the traits list and make sure there isn't anything else you'd like.


    I've highlighted all the work you need to do on this application before it can be accepted. I'm getting the impression from your application that you're not taking this application as seriously as you should be right now. I'll give you another shot, but I ask that you please take this seriously and be through. Leave no stone unturned. Don't hesitate to put in as much detail as you can. Also when you re-post your application, don't edit the first post of your app. Put it on a new reply to the OP. I wish you good luck in your next attempt, and hope for the best.


    Without Wax,


    Mr. 7

    Posted in: PC Servers
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    posted a message on From The Ashes Chapter 1: In the Footsteps of Thaer -|- Serious Roleplay -|- Custom Coded -|- Experienced Staff -|- Active -|-

    OOC Information


    IGN: 7777777


    Skype: Already Joined


    Have you read and agreed to both the rules and the lore of the server? Yes


    What is the definition of “Powergaming”? Forcing RP on someone with no chance to respond


    What is the definition of “Metagaming”? Knowing things IC that you shouldn’t


    What is the definition of “Roleplay”?: To create a character with their own identity, personality, and limitations, and then immerse yourself into a simulated world with its own set of laws and lore, and then live out that character’s life as you designed it in that world while interacting with other similarly created characters.


    Who can use flymod, X-ray and other such clientsided mods? Nobody


    When are you allowed to cause the death of another character? Only with the consent of their owner


    When are you allowed to speak out of character? Never, only in the OOC chat. If absolutely necessary, OOC statements in IC chat can be added in with double parentheses.


    Do you have any previous RP experience, Minecraft or elsewhere? (Optional): Yes: The Anerian Chronicles, The Wayward Ones, Alurian Roleplay


    IC Information


    Name: Colias Olivetti Estray


    Age: 34


    Appearance:


    Colias is a 5.6 foot tall human weighing in at 187 lb. He has Caucasian skin with a clean-shaven face, and is right-handed. He wears a buttoned, white shirt with some brown pants, and a pair of brown shoes. He has black hair, which he keeps in a ponytail, and has indigo eyes. He wears a yellow coat with leather gloves, and wears a pair of goggles.


    Screenshot of Skin:



    Biography:


    Colias was born as a citizen of the Bheille Empire living in the capital city. Unlike the other citizens of the Bheille Empire, Colias was not partial to the homogenization of his Absolutist society. He was constantly curious, and from an early age, concluded that no one should be denied the chance to search for their own answers. He would frequently wander the city on his own time. When Colias was twelve, he met his mentor, a man named Abraxas, who saved him when he was accosted by a pack of thuggish adolescent boys who mocked Colias for his curious nature.


    Abraxas asked why Colias would be so reckless, as well as being so different-minded from other children his age in the Bheille. Colias answered that he believed in academic liberty, and proceeded to ask Abraxas why he saved him. Seeing that Colias would not judge him, Abraxas revealed that he was actually the grandson of a mainland alchemist who emigrated from the mainland and escaped the purge of the Bheille, as well as that his grandfather had taught him everything he could remember about alchemy. Grateful to find a curious, would-be scholar who was not quick to judge, Abraxas taught Colias basic alchemy whenever Colias had time off from school. Years later, when Colias was twenty and in his second year of University, Abraxas died, leaving behind his alchemical notes, which contained details on potions that were illegal and couldn’t be brewed. The thought of trying them in secret never left Colias’ mind though…


    While he was attending university, Colias’ majors were psychology, biology, and to the surprise of both students and professors alike, alchemy. Colias was determined to learn alchemy in particular. After he graduated university at the age of twenty-five, he immediately entered a medical school, where for the next several years, he received training to become a surgeon. Colias, however, was still enticed by the potion recipes left behind by his former mentor, and wanted so badly to concoct them that he had to resist the temptation. It was then that he realized that he could never realize his full potential as an alchemist while he was living amid the provinces of the Empire.


    Colias figured that the severe restrictions placed on alchemists did not exist in the Mainland. The thought of going to the Mainland intimidated him at first, due to the population, their beliefs, and the presence of magic. No amount of knowledge could possibly be worth leaving but he was at an impasse, and the only way forward towards his goal was to escape. He was wondering how when he realized that he still had a whole book of illegal potion recipes. He found the perfect means of escaping the Empire. He would brew a potion that turned him invisible, and then literally walk right past the border and into the Mainland.


    Finally, with a sense of great daring and courage, Colias was able to successfully brew a working potion of invisibility. He packed light and set off for the border near Alann. Colias approached the gate, drank the potion, and walked through the guarded entrance while making sure not to draw attention. As soon as he made it to the camp, he waited until the potion wore off, and then he hitchhiked until he was in Horizon. Over the next months after that, he continued westward towards the Enris Islands; home of the famous Leogarde Academy.


    During Colias’ time travelling throughout the Mainland, or rather, the continent of Cordolan, he took the time to observe his surroundings, and he was quite astonished. On top of there being other humans, (thank the Patron) there were also the Savages, and other people known as Elves, Halfmen, and Drow. The technology, or lack thereof was simply astounding. Almost everything was done manually. They seemed to compensate for this downgrade by utilizing the technology of the Ancients- an extinct race that wholly intrigued Colias. So far, out of all the gods, Colias’ favorite deity thus far was “Saviesa,” Goddess of Knowledge and Wisdom. The first time Colias saw magic, his mind was blown. Saying gibberish words and making things happen? It took days to process that what he’d seen was real. How was he supposed to not live life as he used to? Academic Liberty be damned- he wasn’t prepared for this!


    ‘Neither was Abraxas when he left this place,’ Colias thought to himself.


    It just hit him- this is where Abraxas lived in the early years of his life before he left with his family for a better life- and was met with nothing but poverty until Colias arrived. Abraxas had set Colias on this path. If he turned back now, he knew that Abraxas would be disappointed in him- wait. Since when did he care what dead people thought? Dead people were dead. He remembered people talking how the dead lived on inside their hearts and memories… But that was just absurd… No. He wouldn’t think like that anymore. He didn’t know how, but Abraxas was indeed watching over him, and if he failed now, it would be an insult to his memory. This line of abstract thought was the first of its kind that Colias processed- and fully accepted.


    ‘I have Abraxas on my side. He isn’t gone forever.’


    That thought, so impossible and irrational, was what made Colias pull himself together and resolve to defeat his inhibitions and reach Enris. With renewed courage, Colias set forth.


    Colias decided to spend more time in Cordolan, spending a few years traveling across the continent to more lands, including Beschwall, The Crownlands, Rinion, Arturan, and Mezenia. He then reached the Isle of Enris, docking at the Capital City of Thaeron. He made his way over to the Academy, and after two years of study, Colias was now a full-fledged Alchemist. He then was offered the position of an Alchemical Professor. He smiled, and eagerly accepted. Using his savings, he purchased a home in Thaeron, allowing him to commit full-time to his work, and socialize better with the townsfolk.


    Colias often heard whispers of the townsfolk. They concerned some grim tidings, such as the King losing his sons, the fall of several cities, and finally, the rise of an undead menace. He’d hear talk of “monsters” roaming the wilds. Colias frowned; he’d certainly never seen any undead before arriving in Enris. Years ago, he would’ve dismissed such claims as fantasy, but now, he clearly had a role to play in helping these people fight this menace, whatever it was. First, however, he needed to make his lesson plan…


    Main Goal: Colias’s goal is to not only teach Alchemy to the people of Enris, but also to promote the values of Academic Liberty. However, a bigger priority is keeping his true identity a secret until there’s no need, which may not come for a long time.


    Strengths:

    Colias is a master alchemist, and is also a surgeon with experience in both fields in every single continent in the world. This knowledge of brewing and anatomy makes him well-suited towards healing wounds and ailments. He possesses an Eidetic Memory, also known as a photographic memory, which allows him to perfectly capture whatever he sees as a mental image stored in his memory. He is a well-mannered individual and courteous to those around him; a side effect of his Bheille upbringing. He also has excellent hearing.


    Weaknesses:

    Being in the unenviable situation of being a Bheilin masquerading as a native of the Confederation, Colias must maintain this false persona; if he is found, it is certain that he will be either imprisoned, tortured, executed, or forced to build superweapons. Constant fear of this has at times kept him from sleep, and in extreme cases, shows signs of paranoia. Colias also has a compulsive need to help other people, causing him to put the needs of others above those of his own, causing risk to his well-being. Being of the Bheille, Colias is still getting used to the cultures and societal norms that surround him in Enris, namely magic, religion, the inclusion of non-human races as people, and especially the lower level of technology as opposed to the advanced machines of his native homeland. Finally, Colias’ formality may be off-putting to those of the more roguish type, who may mistake him for being of a condescending upper-class. More often than not, this can make communication difficult.


    Personality:

    Colias is a well-mannered human who is able to befriend and converse with almost anyone he meets. When he’s teaching or practicing medicine, he is very confident in his line of thoughts, allowing him to perform efficiently. He is passionate about both Alchemy and Surgery, believing that the two go hand in hand in the field of medicine, as well as holding a set of ethics to accompany both. Most notable among these guidelines are a moral obligation to give medical aid to those who need it, and an opposition to capital punishment, especially if it’s brutal. He believes that poisons and explosives should only be used when necessary, and that all persons, regardless of race or gender, are entitled to the inalienable right to learn whatever they wish to be educated on. This particular belief is what led him to leave the Bheille after it was made clear that Colias couldn’t continue his education there. However, Colias knows that the secrets of Alchemy are dangerous in the wrong hands, and although he is willing to accept virtually anyone as a student, he will rigorously test all of his would-be students and apprentices. He enjoys a quiet life, but also welcomes company whenever possible.


    Bonus Language: Bheille


    Character Traits:

    1. Alchemist I: 2 TP
    2. Alchemist II: 3TP
    3. Scholar: 2 TP

    Racial Trait: Keen Hearing

    Total: 7 TP


    (Note: This application was made with permission from staff to be an Alchemist at the start, as well as to be a (former) native of Bheille.)

    Posted in: PC Servers
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)

    Any Sword Pics available? If not, how's the Mirror World going?

    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)

    On a scale of 1-Bale, how mad would you be if the shields DID turn out to be fake, as unlikely as it is?


    I'm used to halted development, having worked with Aether II staff. How've you been?

    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    *Knocks on the door*
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    The dimension itself is a minigame based heavily on the Silent Realm from Zelda Skyward Sword.


    Yes, that does include encountering scary-ass guardian monsters.

    Speaking of which, you got any ideas for the primary guardians?
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    So like it or not, the M.P will be challenging.

    That's good. My next mob idea:



    Name: Menger
    HP: 15 (7 & 1/2 Hearts)
    Strength: 1 (Half-Heart)

    Lore: This intriguing prism is actually a "school" of sorts, with a number of cubic prisms combined to form a single unit that coincidentally resembles a larger form of one of the prisms that form it. The significance of this geometry isn't known, nor is the origin of this mysterious anomaly. It rotates on its end, giving off an electric-blue glow. When it detects an entity from outside the Mirrored Plain, they change their glow from blue to a hostile reddish-orange. It then proceeds to spin faster and fire off its units as projectiles. It's possible to either hit them back, or hit the spinning entity. Depending on how many units are left when the whole is destroyed, the rewards dropped can vary in rarity.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    br> - There still needs to be some kind of punishment for dying, though. Beyond having to trek to the corresponding over-world point to retrieve stuff.

    My suggestion is to lose one maximum Heart in the Overworld every time you die in the MP for a set amount of time. You also could make it permanent and add in some kind of compensatory item that recovers lost hearts. Or we could just say Golden Apples (The severely nerfed ones) will cure it.



    Also, if we drop these Mortuary Tablets in the MP, do we lose the items they represent in the Overworld for good?
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    Quote from StarshadesJack»
    Might not work on mod anytime this weekend because stomach flu. Or flu-flu. I just spent 15 hours stuck in a bathroom since Saturday 2AM.

    Oh... I think the universe is trying to tell me something.

    Either way, hope you get well soon. Speaking from experience, neither kind of flu is pleasant, nor is the medicine required to treat the ungodly symptoms.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    Oh, ok. I was worried that it was something else.



    Like Ebola, maybe. Or Swine Flu.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    The dust bunnies seem to have returned. Is everything ok?
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    One Cubic Sparkler coming up!







    The above lore still applies, with obvious minor changes.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    Challenge accepted.



    Behold!







    Name: Sparkler

    HP: 10 (5 Hearts)

    Strength: 3 (1.5 Hearts)



    Info: Despite its metallic body, this creature is actually made of light which has manifested and solidified over the eons. It gathers light from its surroundings through the two cone-shaped protrusions on its body, and uses the light it gathers to generate the wings it uses to maneuver throughout the Mirrored Plane. As a defense mechanism, it can generate energy out of these protrusions, however this costs light energy. These creatures are generally passive and generally tend to stay in one area, but they will resort to defensive measures should they be attacked.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    Looking at everything we've seen thus far planned, we've got an advanced Crafting Table, Alkahestry, a Mirrored World, Dousing, and Higher Level Swords.



    This is all looking good so far. Well done.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on [1.6.4] Visions of Blades v1.0pre1 (SwordsPlus Revival!)
    Unlikely to happen unless somebody provides me ambient music that's fitting.



    As you can tell from the link, the music on there is royalty free, and you can preview it before downloading. My personal recommendation is "Scissors." Seriously, listen to it and tell me what you think of it.



    If that doesn't float your boat, there's plenty of fish in the sea, right?
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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