Honestly, I think you're to the Process of elimination point. Assuming VBOs is off, you've double checked all mod versions are correct and up to date, and render distances is minimal; I think we're dealing with some kind of major conflict we can't see. This is where this gets fun:
1) Backup EVERYTHING
2) Pick 10 mods at a time, and remove them. Be sure to remove core dependencies with their child mods.
3) Launch Minecraft
4a) Server crashes, then repeat 1-3 again until it doesn't crash.
4b) Server loads. Put mods you removed back in one-by-one until you find the one causing the crash.
Yeah, it sucks. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Little advice: Its always in the last 10 mods you check for some reason...
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