I have a few suggestions to help you improve your series.
1. Develop a setting, and display it. (Where the story takes place) IE: A city, small village, a desert in <world name here>, etc.
To be honest I'm having a hard time seeing where this story is taking place. All I know is there are two brothers, that got forced into leaving there.. village? home?.. I'm assuming home, and they are hoping their parents will follow the paper trail. OH, and the Endermen seem to be some sort of antagonist in the story.
I'm not saying that it's necessarily a bad thing to leave mystery, but too much mystery causes annoyance when you're watching a series.
2. Character creation, and development.
You need to make your characters easy to "read", give them traits that make them stand out so the viewers can relate to them. As for development, if you plop a person into a harsh terrain what would they need to do? They would need to evolve. IE: The Walking Dead. At the beginning of the show, the group were extremely unskilled and scared of zombies, though by the end of the series they are harsh and have experience in the "zombie killing" field.
3. Smoother camera movement. Pretty self explanatory.
Good job on the video though, I found it interesting. I'll be waiting for episode 2
Thanks Timothy for taking the time to watch the whole episode! Was wondering is 10 minutes a good timeframe? We are planning to release 5 more episodes in Season 1, making the total count for the season 1 hour (60 minutes), more or less.
1. Setting: Yes. It leaves the story quite ambiguous, and of course, in order for viewers to enjoy the story, you shouldn't need the creator to explain every scene to the viewer. But just to clarify, yes, it's about two brothers being forced to leave their village due to a zombie attack. And the main plot of the story is about finding home (and why they were attacked in the first place).
2. One slice of character development includes Jerome (the elder brother) lying to Jhumar about the death of their parents, if you saw the flashback in black and white. When they leave their jungle home, he leaves a note, just so Jhumar would think his parents are still alive. But I agree I need to add more character traits to the characters. One trait I was trying to point out is how protective Jerome is of his little brother, and the close bond they have together. And yes, the Endermen will be the main antagonist of the first season. ]
3. I very much agree with the camera movement. The Title Sequence (where the credits roll near the beginning), the village fire, and the jungle scenes, were among the very first scenes we filmed and I was experimenting with a lot of camera movements. I do accept fault, but believe that through experience, the coming episodes will be much better, in terms of camera movement/angling etc.
In conclusion, thanks for watching Tim! I hope you become a part of this journey Jhumar, Jerome, and I are thrilled having, and hope to premiere Episode 2 sometime in the future!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
1. Develop a setting, and display it. (Where the story takes place) IE: A city, small village, a desert in <world name here>, etc.
To be honest I'm having a hard time seeing where this story is taking place. All I know is there are two brothers, that got forced into leaving there.. village? home?.. I'm assuming home, and they are hoping their parents will follow the paper trail. OH, and the Endermen seem to be some sort of antagonist in the story.
I'm not saying that it's necessarily a bad thing to leave mystery, but too much mystery causes annoyance when you're watching a series.
2. Character creation, and development.
You need to make your characters easy to "read", give them traits that make them stand out so the viewers can relate to them. As for development, if you plop a person into a harsh terrain what would they need to do? They would need to evolve. IE: The Walking Dead. At the beginning of the show, the group were extremely unskilled and scared of zombies, though by the end of the series they are harsh and have experience in the "zombie killing" field.
3. Smoother camera movement. Pretty self explanatory.
Good job on the video though, I found it interesting. I'll be waiting for episode 2
1. Setting: Yes. It leaves the story quite ambiguous, and of course, in order for viewers to enjoy the story, you shouldn't need the creator to explain every scene to the viewer. But just to clarify, yes, it's about two brothers being forced to leave their village due to a zombie attack. And the main plot of the story is about finding home (and why they were attacked in the first place).
2. One slice of character development includes Jerome (the elder brother) lying to Jhumar about the death of their parents, if you saw the flashback in black and white. When they leave their jungle home, he leaves a note, just so Jhumar would think his parents are still alive. But I agree I need to add more character traits to the characters. One trait I was trying to point out is how protective Jerome is of his little brother, and the close bond they have together. And yes, the Endermen will be the main antagonist of the first season. ]
3. I very much agree with the camera movement. The Title Sequence (where the credits roll near the beginning), the village fire, and the jungle scenes, were among the very first scenes we filmed and I was experimenting with a lot of camera movements. I do accept fault, but believe that through experience, the coming episodes will be much better, in terms of camera movement/angling etc.
In conclusion, thanks for watching Tim! I hope you become a part of this journey Jhumar, Jerome, and I are thrilled having, and hope to premiere Episode 2 sometime in the future!