The quality of the video itself is not bad and I find it interesting that you put background music. Unfortunately though, I think your content falls short in a number of areas.
Firstly, there are already too many Minecraft Let's Play Survival series out there. People have seen generally the same thing many times before, so you need to come up with something more interesting to draw people to watch your videos. A couple of things you might consider: modded let's play, adventure maps, mini-games, tutorials and server spotlights. But again, there are also a lot of these on YouTube so while it is definitely possible to get more viewers, it's not going to be a huge jump unless your commentary is really good.
On the topic of commentary, there are a lot of times in the video where your voice gets drowned out by the music. This is a problem with both your microphone quality and the music itself. Your microphone doesn't seem to be that great and I can hear a lot of background noise from it. I suggest that you clean up your audio tracks using Audacity so it sounds at least a little better. There should be a number of videos on the topic of gameplay commentary audio editing on YouTube, so look around. As for the music, I think it would be better to have an instrumental instead of a song with lyrics in it because it distracts from your commentary.
What I have to say is probably upgrade to a better mic, there is a bit of fuzz and it's very irritating :\
I got my Yeti mic for 60 bucks, and there is absolutey no fuzz, and the quality is amazing!
Also, there is alot of times where you start to sound like.... Tired, or kinda loosing track and starting to talk quiet.
Other that that! Pretty great!
As for the music, I think it would be better to have an instrumental instead of a song with lyrics in it because it distracts from your commentary.
These are two points that really stood out to me and you should consider following through with.
Some advice of my own is that, your video quality is fantastic, you obviously have a pretty decent computer as your gameplay is extremely smooth and high quality. I would definitely keep watching your videos but the major problems revolve around your mic and the noise of the computer fan. You could try to find a way to turn down your fans a little without overheating your pc or simply get a better mic. You could get a