Hi folks ... here are the first three chapters of my book. I'd love to hear what you think! (By the way, this is lore, not a server adventure. I guess I kinda mixed the two while writing (see exchange of comments below), but these guys aren't dolts staring at a computer screen. They are actual characters inside Minecraft.)
I glanced behind me as I raced into the forest. There was my brother, BBC_Knight, hoeing the dirt, his tan skin glowing in the early morning sunlight. I frowned. He appeared to be enjoying himself, but farming just wasn't my thing. Honestly, I don't know BBC_Knight puts up with it -- so much dirt and such slow results -- but he claims that he likes it. Something about the "wonder of helping new plants grow and bloom." I mean, it's helpful and all, but fun? Seriously? And he doesn't seem interested in adventure at all! Why, I don't know. Still, as long as BBC_Knight is farming, he seems happy; and as long as we're together, I'm happy.
I'm Jedi350 (Jedi three-fifty), and the two of us are the only ones around. We work hard to earn our living. All the same, we enjoy our lives together. I mine and hunt for food; BBC_Knight takes care of our farm and our house; and some nights, when we're in the mood for a small adventure, we fight for XP together. BBC_Knight is the one who did most of the work building our beautiful cottage. Without him, I would probably be living in a stone hut. Then again, I chuckled to myself, without me, he wouldn't have much more than an iron chest plate, sword, and pickaxe. (He prefers to avoid danger whenever possible.) We have an understanding, BBC_Knight and I. He works the farm, and I brave the caves. He grows food and tends the animals, and I hunt and find most of the minerals we need. So the arrangement works out quite well, and, after all, we are brothers.
This morning, I decided to surprise my brother. I would go out mining and see if I could come back with something special for him. I glanced back at him once more, working so hard in the fields. He deserved more than he could eke out of farming. Some gold would be nice. I'm sure he could find a good use for it. But what I longed for most was to find enough diamonds to craft him a piece of diamond armor. It's what he's been wanting for ages. I would be lucky, though, to find any diamonds at all. In fact, diamonds were rare. Despite my many mining trips and constant searching, we had only found nine diamonds -- barely enough for two swords, one pickaxe, and an enchanting table. No, I would not find diamonds tonight. But there was still a good chance I could mine something useful. I left BBC_Knight a note, letting him know I was mining and should be back by nightfall. Then I went off searching for a cave that looked promising.
Most miners focused only on the rich-looking caves, but I was willing to give just about any cave a chance. You see, I have a saying: Don't judge a cave by its opening. I've learned the hard way that cave appearances can be deceiving. Once, I found a cave that seemed barely more than a dip in the ground -- but I found gold there! Another time, I found a cave with a huge entrance, but after a long day of mining exploration, all I could find were four pieces of iron. You can never tell. So, today, I set out in a direction with fewer caves, ones that most miners would likely find uninteresting. Although, upon reflection, I realized that it had been ages since BBC_Knight and I had seen any other users at all. That's actually one of the reasons we'd chosen this area for our home. We liked the privacy of living alone without having to worry about griefers, competition for minerals, or even nosy users. So we'd settled here, out in the pristine wilderness, where no other user had come before. Thinking about our home, I began noticing the landscape around me now as well. I enjoyed seeing this part of the countryside, too. The rolling hills and trees were kind of pretty. The trees even reminded me of the sprinkles on a cake I ate once. I briefly wished I had the ingredients to construct a cake now. But I couldn't carry wheat, eggs, sugar and milk when I was going on a mining expedition! I needed room for more important items. Oh, well. I gnawed on some cold pork instead and tried to forget about the cake.
As I passed a clump of trees, I noticed a sheltered cave entrance nestled behind them. It was fairly small, but, remembering my motto, I figured I would give it a try. Besides, I didn't remember ever mining there before. Maybe something interesting would be there! My anticipation grew as I entered the outer room. As I wandered through the passages, though, I was disappointed with what I found -- nothing but iron and coal, plus the occasional zombie or spider, which I quickly dispatched with my diamond sword. I occasionally found a little gold, but it was contained in such small patchy veins that it wasn't much. Still, I took the time to collect it, wanting to have at least something slightly valuable to show for my efforts.
After several hours, I found a cave with a downward slope that looked like it led to diamond level. Unfortunately, though, no diamonds. Still, I saw lots of redstone and mined it with my iron pick. As I worked, I kept a sharp lookout for monsters and lava. I didn't want to die just because I was thoughtless enough to wander into lava or allow a creeper to sneak up on me. Mining is dangerous; it must be done with caution if you hope to survive.
Absorbing all the XP from redstone and lapis lazuli, I continued exploring, finding some more iron but nothing else. This just wasn't going well. Maybe it was time to take what I had and go home. It wasn't much, but at least the redstone would help BBC_Knight with his farming. It wasn't the grand surprise I had hoped for, but it would still prove useful.
As I trudged towards the mouth of the cave, my eyes swam with weariness. I had trekked much farther than usual even before I had begun mining, and now it was hard to remember the turns I had taken coming in. Let's see. I thought I remembered coming in this way, but now things looked slightly different. I looked to one side. How odd: one eye seemed to have blue specks glinting on it. I shook my head. The blue specks remained. Oh, no, I must be getting really tired, I thought. I can't even see clearly. I'd better get home as soon as possible.
As I approached the cave entrance, though, the blue specks grew into a sparkling blue glow suffusing one area of the wall. I shook my head again, irritated. It wasn't all that late -- why was I so tired? Wait, maybe it wasn't my eyes -- could that possibly be ... diamond? I looked more closely, all traces of tiredness swept away by my excitement. YES! It was diamond!!! But how much? I pulled out my iron pick and made my way over to it. Light from the nearby lava glowed orange on the diamonds, giving it a slightly creepy feeling, orange on blue. Ignoring the strange feeling it gave me, I mined the diamond, five pieces in all. Wow -- what a find! BBC_Knight would be thrilled when he saw it.
My confidence renewed, I decided to do a little more exploring before heading home. My diligence was rewarded by finding one more diamond and some more redstone and gold. I smiled happily to myself. It had been a long day, but what a successful one! I finally headed out of the cave, basking in the satisfaction of a job well done.
My spirits soared as I strode back towards my house, thinking about how pleased my brother would be when he say the redstone, gold, and especially those six diamonds! I began dreaming about what we would make with them. So lost in thought was I that I barely noticed my surroundings, until I was startled out of my reverie by a prickly feeling that there was something wrong. Looking around, what did I see coming after me but a zombie in full iron armor! This was more than a little startling. I had never seen zombies and skeletons spawn in iron armor -- only with leather, gold, or chain mail armor. Plus, it was daytime. There was definitely something weird going on here. Still, there was no need to overreact. I should be able to handle one zombie without too much trouble. After all, I had a diamond sword and I was wearing full armor myself. As I continued to puzzle over the question of an iron-armored zombie attacking during daylight, I was suddenly given more to ponder: there wasn't just one zombie; there were four, all with iron swords!
These are not good odds, I thought. What I had initially taken to be an easy fight now seemed more like an invitation to an early grave. I mean, I am a good fighter, but nobody fights four iron-armored zombies at once and lives to talk about it! I was getting really worried. In fact, the back of my mind was starting to scream "Time to panic!" but I yanked back control and tried to think more logically. Panic rarely helps one deal successfully with dangerous situations. So, let's see. What could I do? Wait, zombies are slow. My best option, I realized, was simply to run away. I had a very good chance of outrunning the zombies. Besides, it was the only plan that made sense under the circumstances.
I picked up speed and changed direction slightly, thinking I might be able to throw them off my path if I got far enough ahead. As I ran, I tried to consider possible alternatives. For instance, was there a safe place I might be able to hide if I couldn't sufficiently outdistance the zombies to make it all the way back home? (I didn't especially want to show them where I lived.) As I pondered my options, I looked back to see how much of a lead I had gained. That's when I saw something that chilled my blood. I figured I would be quite a distance ahead of them by this point, but I hadn't expanded the distance between us at all. Instead, the zombies were gaining on me! They had covered nearly half the original distance between us and were closing fast! What was going on?? How could this be? I was feeling seriously confused. (Did I mention that zombies are SLOW?)
As the lead zombie continued gaining ground, I noticed something that was different than any other zombies I had seen before. These zombies had red and blue swirls drifting off them. Ohhhh ... it all clicked now. I was familiar with blue swirls. Blue swirls meant the zombies had potions of swiftness, which is why they had been able to not only keep up, but nearly catch up to me. Angrily, I discarded my plan to run. It would never work against speed-enhanced zombies. I would have to think of something else.
Maybe I would have to fight after all. I was a very good fighter -- but -- FOUR armored zombies?! With potions of swiftness on them? It just did not look good. I checked my inventory for to see if I had anything special. All I came up with was a splash potion of harming. That was no good against zombies -- it would only heal them while hurting me. What else? As I struggled to think, the zombies were getting closer, and I was stumped for ideas. I was close to despair. What if I never made it back to my house to make BBC_Knight his diamond armor? He would never even get to see it.
But thinking of the diamonds I carried gave me an idea. I could use those diamonds NOW! I'd hoped to give them to BBC_Knight when I got home, but if I didn't use them now, they would never GET home. They'd be lost completely if I died here. So, I quickly crafted a diamond helmet to protect me from the zombies' attack. It used up five of the six diamonds I had mined, but it was SOOO much better than my old iron helmet. I took my old one off and put it in my inventory, just in case it came in handy at some future time. Then I slipped on my newly crafted diamond one. Ahhh! A perfect fit! (I tried not to think about the fact that I was planning to give it to my brother when and if I ever got home ....)
Protected by my new diamond helmet, I turned to face the zombie horde. (Ok, maybe it wasn't exactly a horde, but how would you feel if you were suddenly attacked by four zombies in full armors, with potions of swiftness, no less? It SEEMED like a horde!) I felt a lot more confident now. After all, I AM a good fighter, and I had a great new helmet! I took a deep breath ... and drew my sword. Then I stepped forward to meet the enemy.
Uh-oh. I know, I know -- that's NOT the first thing you're supposed to think as you face your opponent. But that's when it hit me. (No, not a zombie -- the truth.) What I mean is, it finally registered that those colored swirls coming off the zombies were not only blue ... they were red too! How could I have been so stupid? I saw red and blue swirls. I saw them ages ago. (Just read the last page if you don't believe me.) And my wits must have been addled as I ran, because I know what that means. Everybody knows what that means. It means that the zombies weren't just extra fast; they were super strong too. Boy, was I in trouble.
Well, my position may have changed for the worse, but I still didn't have a choice. I had to fight, or I would die. It was them or me. I was just about to charge into battle when one of the zombies pulled out an enchanted bow from its inventory. While I would have preferred not to face that bow, at least it helped me realize I couldn't jump forward into a typical sword attack. I would need to do something else. I would need to do it fast, too -- that bow looked pretty powerful. Hastily, I grabbed my flint-and-steel. Quickly, before my energy gave way, I leapt right towards the decaying monsters, lighting the ground as I went. The zombies were fast, but they were also stupid. They didn't know what I was doing until it was too late. Sprinting, I managed to light a circle of flames all the way around them, zigzagging as I went so that their archer missed. As I finished the circle, I was breathing hard, but I was proud of my ingenuity. That flame should destroy all four zombies. I moved away from the flames so that I wouldn't be burned, and looked back to watch my opponents expire. That's when something super weird happened. The lead zombie took out a bottle of potion and threw it on the ground. I heard the "snap" of breaking glass -- and the zombies walked right through the fire without taking any damage! My exultation changed to horror. Why would zombies use a splash potion of fire resistance? They were the dumbest creatures in minecraft (with the exception of their nether cousins: the zombie pigmen). Something really strange was going on.
I needed a new plan, so I decided I had to use my own bow. Bows are not great for close-up action, but I needed to take out their archer or I had no chance at all. At least the fire ring had given me a few moments to think. I fired as fast as I could, but I couldn't run and fire at the same time, so I stopped to aim. The first arrow flew wide to the left. Rats -- I was rushing, and that just doesn't work when shooting. I pulled out a new arrow and took more careful aim. Yes! The zombie archer was down, shot through the eye with my arrow. I had taken care of the most immediate threat.
Now, though, the zombies were only ten blocks away. Thankfully, none of the other zombies seemed to have bows. As their extra speed allowed them to close in, I had to revert to melee combat. The zombies were just too close to shoot. I knew that I was an excellent swordsman, but between the red swirl of super strength and the blue swirls of quickness, this would not be an easy fight. I took a deep breath. Three against one was tough, but I wouldn't go down without a fight. Before fear could grip me, I charged directly at the lead zombie. As I reached him, I dropped, and slid between its rotting legs, scoring a hit as I did so. I whirled on one knee to face the next zombie, who was only a few blocks away. A long slashing sweep toward its chest with my sword scored a hit. This slowed it down long enough for me to stab it in the face as well.
I stumbled away, severely weakened. In the midst of my charge, I had forgotten about their strength potion. I quickly ate some steak before they managed to reach me again. My health points multiplied, and I began to feel stronger. One of the hurt zombies, probably the one I had hit first, was now only two blocks away. It slashed at my face, and I barely sidestepped in time. As I did, I saw the zombie that I had slashed in the face take a swipe at me from the right. I raised my sword and brought it crashing down on the zombie to the right. Finally, that zombie seemed to be out of commission.
Two zombies down, two to go.
I backpedaled furiously, trying to put some space between myself and the last two zombies, one of which was still uninjured. I barely had time to catch my breath before they were right back in front of me. Zombies are dumb, but these zombies were different. They were either smarter than usual or incredibly lucky. They somehow both swung their swords at the same time! That made things difficult. I managed to block one of the strokes, but the other sword crashed down onto my new diamond helmet. I swayed unsteadily. The helmet protected me, but the strength behind that sword stroke nearly brought me to my knees. I was getting weaker, my health slowly diminishing.
I gathered my strength and furiously parried both zombies' assaults. Fortunately, their attacks were not coordinated. I decided they must have been lucky before. After several moments, I managed a good old-fashioned slash to the wounded zombie's neck, finishing him off. This reduced the odds considerably. Only one zombie remained. But this zombie was completely uninjured, while I was still woozy from that blow on my helmet, my health points lower than usual. I knew I needed to win this battle quickly, or I would soon be too weak to fight.
The last zombie lifted its weapon, aiming at my face. I ducked, slipping under its slash to my head, and rolled to the left, scoring a hit on one of its legs as I did and landing on my back. Breathing hard, I looked up and saw it raise its sword for a huge, body-cleaving blow. If I didn't get up now, I was a goner! But I was so tired!!! My legs didn't seem to want to move. Somehow, I marshaled the strength to jump to my feet, and side-stepped the massive blow. As the zombie's sword came down, my own sword came up in an upper cut. With a practiced flick of my wrist, I neatly clipped the zombie's sword, and it clattered harmlessly against the defeated armored zombie lying on the grass.
I had nearly won. I had defeated three fully armored zombies with extra strength and speed, and the last one lay injured and weaponless. It would be easy to kill it now, I thought. Its blue and red swirls were slowly dissipating, and even in my weakened state, it was no match for me without its sword, strength and speed. But perhaps it would be useful to take this one alive. If I could get information out of it, I might be better prepared for future attacks. Systematically, I depleted its HP to one with measured strokes of the flat of my sword, then threatened that if it moved, it would die. (Zombies are stupid, but they do have some sense of self-preservation.) I recovered its sword and built a fence around my prisoner. Finally, I had a chance to pick up the spoils of battle left by the zombies. The three swords might come in handy, but what I really wanted to take a look at was that bow. I had to backtrack a good 15 blocks to where the archer went down in order to retrieve it, but it was worth the effort. It was well built and contained quite a few enchantments:
That was a seriously good bow. I wanted to take my brother something special, but I decided to keep the bow for myself. I still had the diamond helmet for BBC_Knight.
After eating some meat, I felt much better. I tried to interrogate the zombie, but despite several efforts, it kept quiet. Really? I kept it alive for this? What was the point? I wasn't quite sure whether it was staying silent to protect its fellow zombies, or if it was just too dumb to understand what I was asking. Finally, my patience gave out, and I finished it off. Disobedience in a prisoner just doesn't sit well with me. Besides, zombies aren't alive anyway, so it couldn't be considered killing in cold blood. Anyhow, I couldn't drag it home with me; I'd have to constantly be looking over my shoulder.
I gathered a few other bits of useful gear from the defeated zombies, and I was just about to head home when I was stopped by an evil-sounding, malicious laugh that chilled me to the bone. I turned and found another user twenty blocks away. He was dressed in diamond armor, and carried a diamond sword, like mine. "You think killing my pets will change anything?" he smirked. "I'll capture you and imprison you, just like we did to your farmer friend back there. Some knight he turned out to be."
"Farmer friend?" He could only be talking about BBC_Knight! People never understood his name. My brother never wanted to be a knight ... all he wanted was to live peacefully in the forest. Of course he wouldn't be ready for a surprise attack by another user! We hadn't even seen other users since we decided to settle in this area. I suddenly became furious. How could this user -- Manhunt481 -- do this to innocent people? It was one thing to challenge a diamond-sword bearing knight, such as myself. It was another thing to go after peaceful farmers. My blood boiled. Apparently, Manhunt481 had captured my brother and then sicced his "pets" on me. Well, his plan hadn't worked yet. I had defeated all four of his potion-enhanced zombies, and I was nearly back to full strength. I was an experienced fighter, and now I only had to fight one instead of four. Granted, this guy would not be as dumb as the zombies, but he probably wasn't as skilled as I was. Maybe I could catch him off guard. I sprinted towards him, and metal rang on metal as our two swords met. But instead of continuing the duel, Manhunt481 suddenly leapt backwards instead.
"Coward!" I yelled. "So you only fight when you're up against unskilled farmers? Let's see how you do against a real fighter!" Strangely, though, instead of lifting his sword to parry my attack, he fumbled at his belt for a potion. I paused suspiciously. Was he going to make himself super fast or strong, as he had done with his zombie pets? Well, I had beaten them, and I would defeat this dark knight too. I rushed forward to begin the attack, and he threw the potion -- at ME! It wasn't a potion to help his fighting at all! The jerk had splashed me with a potion of poison! I suddenly felt terribly sick, retching, and crumpled to the ground. As I wondered how much damage I had just taken, my head swam, and everything went black.
In the Obsidian Fortress:
DarkNight, leader of the griefers, had a plan. "We will capture everybody on the server, and then we will rule the world!"
"But what if there is stiff resistance?" one of the more stupid griefers asked.
"Silence! We have too many people for stiff resistance," DarkNight countered.
Twenty griefers were inside an obsidian room, listening. The obsidian fortress they were in provided many rooms. They were usually willing to do what their leader asked them to, as long as it wasn't walking blindly to their deaths.
"I know where one user lives," one griefer offered. "His name is Ranger54 and he is a good fighter, but we should be able to overpower him if three of us go together."
"Okay," DarkNight agreed. "You three go," he said, pointing to his three best men, who were dressed in diamond armor. "And you too," he continued, pointing to the griefer who spoke about Ranger originally. "If you find any other users, especially any with fighting skills, capture them also and bring them here."
Leaving the Obsidian Fortress:
The griefers stealthily made their way through a roofed forest and into a plains biome, ready to capture the user. In the distance, they could see a house. It was nothing fancy, literally a cobblestone box. The bright afternoon sun would make it hard to sneak up on, though. There was virtually nothing around it to hide behind. They waded through the tall grass, growing more confident by the minute. Nothing had appeared to challenge them, and it looked like they would be able to mount a surprise attack despite the openness of the surrounding area.
Halfway to the house, one of the men screamed. Looking around, they saw a knife sprouting from his back. Before the others knew what was happening, his health was whittled down to nothing. As they turned back towards the house, they found themselves facing a ninja in iron armor. He held an enchanted diamond sword that had orange flames dancing on the edges. He slashed out at another of the griefers, but the griefer blocked. The other two closed in, and soon the ninja was desperately blocking and parrying. He had gained the advantage of surprise, managing to completely overwhelm his first opponent with only the tall grass for a shield. Now, though, he had lost that advantage. He stumbled as one of the griefers kicked him in the back of the knees, and with help from another griefer, he did a face plant in the grass. The fight was over. The proud ninja, Ranger54, had lost.
One griefer held him down with a foot, while the others tied his hands behind his back. They then yanked him to his feet and pushed him ahead of them in the direction of the fort, ignoring his questions. When they reached the ladder, the griefer untied his arms, but he was made to climb the wall with one griefer above him and two below him, no chance to escape. They threw the ninja in the newly constructed prison and ignored the steely looks of hatred he aimed at their departing backs.
The user was peacefully tending his flower garden when he heard footsteps. The bright flowers of all colors, red, yellow, blue, purple, stood out against the drab colors of the swamp. He turned and saw three people, all dressed in iron armor, holding iron swords.
He pulled out his own iron sword and asked "What brings you here?" His tone was friendly, but at the same time it had an unmistakable edge to it. The only answer given by the three armored intruders was to charge at him, but MaskedHero49 was ready. Pulling a lever that sat beside him, the user in front was disintegrated by a large blast of TNT. Seeing this, the others approached more cautiously, but MaskedHero had no more traps ready to throw at them. Gripping his iron sword, he stood his ground, but his fear was palpable. He fought when necessary, but swordsmanship was not his specialty. Once again, the griefers charged recklessly, and MaskedHero49 retreated, his hands in the air. He had always been a peaceful person, intent on testing his redstone skills and making his garden prettier. It had never occurred to him that ordinary users would attack without provocation. In fact, he had never even fought other users before, only monsters from the caves. He couldn't believe what was happening. He had reacted instinctively by setting off his blast of TNT, but he couldn't bring himself to attack fellow user again. "I surrender," he whispered, seeing no alternative in this ugly situation. Miserably, he allowed himself to be tied and pushed roughly in the direction from which the intruders had come. Eventually, he saw a large black fortress in the distance.
Wekker78 scanned his potions shelf. I need more healing, poison, and strength, he thought to himself. His pondering was interrupted abruptly when his wooden door slammed heavily against the interior wall. Through the opening, Wekker saw the shapes of three people silhouetted by the rising sun. These weren't good people, he knew immediately. Good people usually knock politely. Slamming doors was just plain rude.
As they entered the house, Wekker could see that two had iron armor and the other had a diamond chest plate with his iron boots, pants, and helmet. He wasn't sure why they were there, but he could see they meant business. "Come with us," diamond chest plate snarled.
"I don't think so," Wekker responded angrily. He grabbed a bottle from his open chest and lobbed it onto the griefers. They collapsed, moaning in agony from the harming potion. Wekker reacted immediately. He didn't wait to see if they would survive his harming potion, but instead used their current incapacity to grab an armful of potions, some food, and a few tools that would help him survive in the taiga and any other biomes he might find. Then he sprinted out his back door into safety of the wild.
sir_Hector was delighted with the day's hunting. He had found five cows, two chickens, and three pigs. He would eat well tonight! Intent on his upcoming dinner, he failed to notice the scuff marks in the dirt outside his door. He pushed open his door to enter his cozy house, ready to settle down to a pleasant evening. But instead of the cheerful fire crackling in the corner or the furnace smelting his iron, he found three people turning the place upside down.
"What are you doing?!" he cried in anguish. His house, his beautiful house, was being ripped apart.
The griefers turned at the sound of sir_Hector's voice. One quickly circled behind him so that sir_Hector was trapped between him and the two in front. "Who are you? What do you want...??" he wailed. His only answer was a stabbing sensation in his back. As he fell to his knees, everything turned black.
I came in from my early morning hoeing and yawned. It was tough working so
hard, even though I loved the land. I looked around for Jedi350. He
never worked as early as I did ... it's just the way he was ... but
he still woke up at the same time. Everyone wakes up when the sun
rises. (That is just how minecraft works.) I looked around to see
what he was doing. How odd. Jedi350 wasn't lounging in his bed, the
way I expected. That seemed strange, until I noticed the note on the
table. It said:
BBC_Knight. I'm going out for a day's mining.
Expect me back at our house by nightfall.
Okay, so that's where he was. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised.
After all, Jedi350 loved to mine. He always held out hope that he
would find something amazing, like diamond. If only he could! We
had so few. I knew it wasn't likely, but if anyone could find some,
it was Jedi350. He seemed to find valuable ore even in places where
there seemed to be none left. That's why we'd been able to enjoy
living in the same place for so long.
While I waited for him to come back, I set about doing the daily chores. I
collected the wheat, carrots, and potatoes that were fully grown and
planted new ones in their place. Then I mined the sugar cane that
was three blocks high.
I went over to our sheep farm and sheared all of their wool. We had one
white sheep, two red, one yellow and one lapis. Dyeing sheep was
much better than dyeing wool. It granted us unlimited dyed wool,
because the sheep would keep on re-growing it. I put my wool in a
chest and went over to my chicken farm. I collected the eggs laid
(seventeen in all) and proceeded to breed the chickens with the grass
seeds I'd brought. I chuckled at the brand new chicks. They were so
cute! It was fun just watching them. After enjoying them for
awhile, it was time to head back to the house for the rest of the
Jedi350 did have a bad habit of leaving his things lying around. But I
couldn't be angry at him when he had left to go mining so
uncharacteristically early. I straightened up the house and put away
the eggs I had gathered and the remaining grass seeds.
I was getting hungry, but we were low on meat, so I went over to the cow
farm. I hated to lose one of our herd, but we did need meat, so I
burned a cow (sorry cow!) and received cooked steak and leather. To
avoid having our herd dwindle, I had brought wheat with me, and I
used it to breed two more cows. They would soon grow, and our herd
would be larger than ever. In good spirits, I headed back to the
house and ate some bread and eggs for breakfast.
Comfortably full, I contemplated how to spend the day with Jedi350 gone. I know
-- I would surprise my brother by going hunting. If I was
successful, we could have a nice stash of food without needing to
kill any more animals on our farm. Packing my iron sword for
hunting, my enchanted diamond sword in case of trouble, a bow, some
arrows and some bread, I was ready to head out. I hoped to find pigs
as well as more cows. Pig meat needed to be smoked to be really
good, but once it was, it was delicious, and it would last a long
time. Beef was good too, though not as great as smoked pork. If I
was lucky, I would find both.
Cows are easy to find. There are lots of wild ones in the nearby fields.
They are also easy to hunt. They tend to keep grazing, so I just
walked up to one and hit it with an iron sword until I killed it.
(It only took a few moments.) I then did the same to two other cows.
(You would think that the others would be scared away after I had
just killed one of them, but minecraft cows don’t have much in the
way of brains, if you know what I mean.) I picked up all the leather
the cows dropped. I could use it to make enchanted books, which
might be very useful. I could also make some cool looking item
I didn’t want to go too far searching for pigs, but there were woods
lining the cow field, so I thought I’d venture a little farther.
As luck would have it, I spotted a stream with several pigs drinking
and swimming. I used my iron sword on one of the pigs that had come
out of the stream and collected the meat. Figuring I had enough
meat, I turned back towards the house. Once I had relaxed a bit, I
would smoke the pork and think about how to use the new leather I had
collected from the cows.
I whistled as I walked home. My hunting had been more successful than
I'd expected! Jedi350 would be pleased ... he usually did most of
the hunting, but this time, I could show him I was able to help. I
imagined the pleased look he would have on his face when he came home
to some delicious smoked pork. As I neared my house, I started
thinking about making a tasty lunch and getting a few more chores
done. But when I reached the spot where Jedi350 and I had built our
house, I was horrified by what I found. The spot where our house
had been was charred ashes. Our home was totally destroyed! Nothing
was left! I saw only craters and smoke where the house had been.
My head was swimming. How could this have happened? And why? It
didn’t make any sense. If someone wanted our house, why would he
want to ruin it? Plus, we’d never even seen anyone around these
parts before! We lived a quiet life by ourselves. I sat down, my
head roiling with confusion and grief. Jedi350 and I had lived in
this house ever since we settled here. It held so many memories.
And now it was gone.
Well, sitting here wasn’t going to provide us shelter for the night. I
dragged myself back to my feet, prepared to start rebuilding. As I
looked around, I realized that it wasn’t only our house that was
gone. Whoever had done this had robbed us also – all our valuables
had disappeared. Our brewing stand, enchantment table, diamond
pickaxe, food, iron, and gold – all gone. Not to mention all of
the potion ingredients we had worked so hard to come by. Even my
animal and plant farms were ruined. All the animals were gone too,
and our farmed areas were nothing more than scarred patches of land.
All of my brother’s and my hard work had been burned to the ground.
Why would someone take the trouble to burn our crops? Even robbers
wouldn't bother destroying our house and burning our crops. This was
worse than robbery; this was pure malice
My head sank into my hands, and I groaned, wondering what to do.
Suddenly, a mocking voice came from behind. "Looking for
something, noob? A house maybe? Tough luck -- Your house isn't
there anymore. I wonder what could have happened to it? Hmmm ....
let me see. I think I remember. Oh, yeah -- it made a big bang. I
can hardly remember seeing a more beautiful explosion! Sparks and
smoke everywhere! HAHAHA!"
At these words, I whirled around to find five users dressed in enchanted
diamond armor. All of them were holding enchanted diamond swords.
There were also four zombies dressed in iron armor. The odds were
not good. In fact, I didn't stand a chance! I knew I wasn't much of
a fighter, and these users seemed to know it too. I realized that my
best bet was to make sure they didn't see me as a threat. Holding my
hands in surrender, I tried to placate them. "Whatever you want
to do, I won’t stand in your way," I stammered. "Just
please don’t hurt me. I won't attack you, I promise.”
One of the users appeared to be the leader. He acknowledged my promise with
a brief nod and responded: "In that case, stay where you are.
No tricks, or you die!"
"Okay," I said, and tried not to move. But I watched in misery as the
griefers laughed about how they had destroyed the home I shared with
Jedi350 and taunted me with the fact that they had stolen everything
in the house. My blood boiled, but I didn't dare fight. That was
Jedi350's talent. I was a simple farmer. If I fought, I would die.
I just hoped that they would leave soon, so that I could go in search
of Jedi350 and tell him the horrible news. We would have to rebuild
our house ... rebuild everything. Still, I was good at building. I
was proud that I had originally built our house in only two weeks.
Last year, I had even added an entire new wing. And Jedi350 was
great at mining. Somehow, we would put our lives back together
I stared at the users, dumbstruck with misery at the total devastation
they had wrought. I couldn't understand it. I wanted to ask them to
explain, but I knew they would not answer me. Tearing my eyes away
from the destruction, I silently begged the griefers to take their
loot and go. I just wanted a moment alone to mourn the loss of my
beloved house and possessions before setting out in search of my
I tried not to cry as the griefers finished cramming our loot into
their inventories. My brother would be strong if he were here, so I
would be strong for him. Gulping down my tears, I stared stonily at
the horrible griefers. But just as I thought he was finally ready to
follow the others, the leader who had supervised the looting turned
to me and jerked his head in their direction. His meaning was
unmistakable. I had to go with them! I was stunned. If I became
their captive, how would Jedi350 ever find me? What did they want to
do with me? Should I try to run? Maybe I could get away
My brief thoughts of escape died almost instantly. The griefers had
horses and I was on foot. How could I ever outrun them? I had to do
as they said. There was no other choice. Somehow I knew that if I
didn't do exactly what they wanted, quickly and quietly, they would
kill me just as surely as if I had fought them. Then I would have no
chance to escape or to warn Jedi350. Sadly, I hung my head and
turned to follow the griefers, pausing briefly to take one last look
at my ruined home. I regretted the momentary lapse, because one of
the griefers reached out and attached a lead to me. How could he do
that, after I had surrendered? They obviously outnumbered me. There
was no need for such a thing. It was humiliating. It made me feel
like an animal.
"Take the prisoner back to our fortress,” said a player named Manhunt481,
speaking to the griefer who held my lead. “As long as he
cooperates, keep him alive. He may be useful. I’m going after his
friend – he’s NOT going to get away. Tell DarkNight where I am.
I’ll be back as soon as I can."
Questions were bouncing around in my head. Who was DarkNight? Where was this
fortress? We didn't know there was a fortress around here. We had
never seen these people before. In fact, we hadn't seen ANY people
in this area. Where had they come from? Why did they destroy our
home? How did they know about my brother? What did they want with
The storm of questions clogging my brain was interrupted when I saw
Manhunt481 sprint into the nearby birch forest with the zombies
following. The griefer holding my lead yanked me in the opposite
direction. It looked like I wasn't going to get answers anytime
soon. And on top of everything else, my brother was in danger too.
What was I going to do? Manhunt481 was going after Jedi350, and I
was helpless to stop him!
This was quite good! Your writing is very clear, I can picture everything easily and the fighting is especially well-described. I like how the narrative changes from first person to third when the griefers are attacking and abducting people. In fact, chapter 2 is my favorite because of those separate paragraphs describing each user and how they get abducted! Each little piece of the story shows how each character is different and we get a small hint of each of their personalities, occupations, strengths and weaknesses. You're better at making characters actual characters than I am, for sure. That's what I struggle with the most, to be honest
What I didn't like was how much the story felt like it was a regular Minecraft game with "dolts staring at a computer screen," as you say, instead of regular characters. There are some elements of the story which makes it sound like an actual story in an actual fictional world, and other elements that make it feel like it's just more server shenanigans written into a story, and the mix doesn't sit well. It reminds us, the readers, that there are no actual stakes in the conflict. I thought this was supposed to be lore, not a server adventure!
Here are the elements which makes the story feel like server shenanigans and pulled me out of the story:
-Instead of names there are usernames, with all the numbers and bottom-dashes and everything. Why not just use yours and your brothers' actual names (first names)? No one really knows who you are, so there's no harm in it. Just invent names for everyone else. As it stands, your story could have a character named "xX_dickypr0state69_Xx" and everyone would have to call them by that name and take them seriously.
-People in general are referred to as "users." Users of what? If this story takes place inside the minecraft world, then there's no reason to call them users. This also applies to the next point.
-The griefers say they will capture everyone on the "server." Again, why would the characters in the minecraft world call the world they're inhabiting a server? If the name of the land is called "The Server" then that's okay, it would be a clever way of incorporating real-life terms into the world of the story. As it currently sits, however, it's just another reminder that these characters are just dolts staring at a computer screen.
That's all I can think of for now. Despite my criticisms I really did enjoy the story, and there's definitely more good than bad here. I'd say to definitely keep writing, as I want to know more about what happens
Thanks for the honest critique. On reflection, I think you're absolutely right. Originally, when I began writing this over a year ago, it somehow seemed more appropriate to use usernames for my characters. However, now I'm rethinking it, and maybe I'll make a wholesale change to more realistic names for the entire book. In the meantime, I may go ahead and post additional chapters already written in this style, since I don't want to break the continuity, but I am seriously considering implementing your suggestion.
Thanks again! Looking forward to hearing what you think of later chapters.
I agree with the points of PopRocks, especially with the point about the use of usernames over actual names. The third chapter was well done in my opinion, however it may have been better to have it as chapter 2. Also, the formatting of that chapter was odd, filling about 2/3 of the horizontal space that is available and having a larger font size. Overall, this is a very good start to a story with a few minor issues.