The twilight of dusk washed over man and wolf, as they stood, shivering in the frigid cold of the Taiga. The man's slim hands gripped the hilt of a diamond sword called 'Frost' and sheathed it. His giant wolf growled in response to the sound of the elegant diamond blade scraping an iron scabbard as it left it's home, much like a marsupial. Gritting his teeth, the man forced a few words out of his mouth.
"Aerys, charge!"
The hubristic skeleton that had been staring at them haughtily a few seconds ago started to flee as it's bravery evaporated at the sight of the man's demonic white wolf, Aerys. The Skeleton's escape ended in vain as Aerys pounced at its back and knocked it down, it's Flame enchanted Bow skittering across the ice. Aerys sunk its fangs into the Skeletons neck as the miscreant flailed on the ice under it, and detached the bones that acted as it's support. The Skeleton immediately stopped moving, for the crucial part of Skeleton duel was to send the undead creature into the void by ripping apart the neck, where it's magic of necromancy lay.
"Good finish, Aerys. Seems like-"
The man was interrupted by the high pitched cacophony of Zombie moans.
The man swore under his breath, and looted the Skeleton with haste before hurrying off to finish the other mobs. The air exploded with flesh and guts as the man struck the first Zombie down by slicing its chest, and then planting Frost in its stomach. His second opponent came, armed with an iron sword.
Their swords clashed, Frost driving the other back with force. The man yelled with fury and struck at the Zombie's sword again, and almost drove it out of it's palm. The man then tried something else; he struck at the Zombie's left side, but accidentally left his abdomen exposed. The Zombie took that chance and struck at his abdomen. It penetrated through his skin, and sent him flying towards the ground. The Zombie stood over him with dominance.
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"Those aren't mountains,those are waves!"-Cooper from Interstellar
This is a nice read, in my opinion. There's one big mistake, though: every single time you mention "the man", you do it by saying "the man". The word "he" appears only once, so a better use of pronouns would improve the story. Also:
It penetrated through his skin, and sent him flying towards the ground.
What penetrated the man? The way you're writing this, it looks like the zombie itself did. Last, and definitely least, you could have made up a more original name for Aerys.
I still liked the story, you just need to practice more. Congratulations!
A bolt of lightning seared the sky for a second, and quickly dissipated.
"Kill his monster!"came a hoarse voice from the mouth of the mutilated Zombie. The man screamed and lunged at the Zombie's belly, and the collision knocked it down. The man delivered a punch to the Zombie's face, which brought upon a fountain of blood and saliva from it's mouth. Without wasting another second, he scrambled for Frost , which lay on the ice a few metres before him. He dared to take a look at Aerys's struggle, and he knew that it would only be able to fend then off for a few more seconds. Cursing, the man crawled across the cold ice, with his hands constantly skimming across it, and his hands grasped the hilt of Frost a moment later. Roaring in fury, the man got back on his feet, and charged at the creatures figihting Aerys. Much like a reaper, he slayed the Skeleton wrestling with his Wolf's body, with one of swing of Frost towards the Miscreant's neck, and watched as Aerys ripped apart the other Zombie that'd been keeping it busy.
For a second, the man's vision became dim, and a seductive lethargy conquered his muscles. The blood from his abdomen cascaded on to the ice, and so,the tale of massacre red written on the ice.
The twilight of dusk washed over man and wolf, as they stood, shivering in the frigid cold of the Taiga. The man's slim hands gripped the hilt of a diamond sword called 'Frost' and sheathed it. His giant wolf growled in response to the sound of the elegant diamond blade scraping an iron scabbard as it left it's home, much like a marsupial. Gritting his teeth, the man forced a few words out of his mouth.
"Aerys, charge!"
The hubristic skeleton that had been staring at them haughtily a few seconds ago started to flee as it's bravery evaporated at the sight of the man's demonic white wolf, Aerys. The Skeleton's escape ended in vain as Aerys pounced at its back and knocked it down, it's Flame enchanted Bow skittering across the ice. Aerys sunk its fangs into the Skeletons neck as the miscreant flailed on the ice under it, and detached the bones that acted as it's support. The Skeleton immediately stopped moving, for the crucial part of Skeleton duel was to send the undead creature into the void by ripping apart the neck, where it's magic of necromancy lay.
"Good finish, Aerys. Seems like-"
The man was interrupted by the high pitched cacophony of Zombie moans.
The man swore under his breath, and looted the Skeleton with haste before hurrying off to finish the other mobs. The air exploded with flesh and guts as the man struck the first Zombie down by slicing its chest, and then planting Frost in its stomach. His second opponent came, armed with an iron sword.
Their swords clashed, Frost driving the other back with force. The man yelled with fury and struck at the Zombie's sword again, and almost drove it out of it's palm. The man then tried something else; he struck at the Zombie's left side, but accidentally left his abdomen exposed. The Zombie took that chance and struck at his abdomen. It penetrated through his skin, and sent him flying towards the ground. The Zombie stood over him with dominance.
"Those aren't mountains,those are waves!"-Cooper from Interstellar
This is a nice read, in my opinion. There's one big mistake, though: every single time you mention "the man", you do it by saying "the man". The word "he" appears only once, so a better use of pronouns would improve the story. Also:
What penetrated the man? The way you're writing this, it looks like the zombie itself did. Last, and definitely least, you could have made up a more original name for Aerys.
I still liked the story, you just need to practice more. Congratulations!
could use a few grammatical corrections but otherwise enjoyed reading it cheers!
A bolt of lightning seared the sky for a second, and quickly dissipated.
"Kill his monster!"came a hoarse voice from the mouth of the mutilated Zombie. The man screamed and lunged at the Zombie's belly, and the collision knocked it down. The man delivered a punch to the Zombie's face, which brought upon a fountain of blood and saliva from it's mouth. Without wasting another second, he scrambled for Frost , which lay on the ice a few metres before him. He dared to take a look at Aerys's struggle, and he knew that it would only be able to fend then off for a few more seconds. Cursing, the man crawled across the cold ice, with his hands constantly skimming across it, and his hands grasped the hilt of Frost a moment later. Roaring in fury, the man got back on his feet, and charged at the creatures figihting Aerys. Much like a reaper, he slayed the Skeleton wrestling with his Wolf's body, with one of swing of Frost towards the Miscreant's neck, and watched as Aerys ripped apart the other Zombie that'd been keeping it busy.
For a second, the man's vision became dim, and a seductive lethargy conquered his muscles. The blood from his abdomen cascaded on to the ice, and so,the tale of massacre red written on the ice.
"Those aren't mountains,those are waves!"-Cooper from Interstellar