When he woke up, he reached over for a golden nugget in the dark. His feet stumbled onto the cold and wet cobblestone ground, as he sat on a red, worn, and featherless bed. He tightly clutched the small golden nugget with his soiled hands and squinted his tired eyes, like a thousand pounds of coal slowly crushed together into a crystal clear diamond. Inside his mind, he could hear a vast volcano rupturing up, like an earthquake within the palms of his hands. As he released the golden nugget slowly from his stricken strength, the volcano faded away and his hands unwrapped with sweat. His large hands had been cleaned of the black dirt, and he slipped the golden nugget into the left empty pocket of his grey pants. He opened his eyes into the darkness, slowly waiting for the shadows to disappear, and then he saw himself, sitting alone inside a stone room.
Outside of the stone room, footsteps came echoing through the iron door. A warder appeared into the open frame of the door. Three loud taps with a blunt stick knocked onto the metal door, and he glared at the man sitting on the bed.
“Prisoner number 802,” the guard exclaimed, “Your time has come.”
He closed the frame where he peeked through, and walked a few steps slowly from the door. After a few seconds, more footsteps echoed through the door and stopped in front of the door. The door clicked with a heavy key into the handle of the door, like the sound of metal grinding together. Finally, the heavy door opened slowly with ‘802’ in bold black ink on the front. Three prison guards stood in plain sight of the man, heavily armed with large iron swords and leather armor that was slightly darker than the corner of the room. They grabbed the man by his skimpy arms and slowly dragged him out of the cold room.
He glared at the light colors of the windowed hall with his rusty miner's eyes. The prison guards took steps that sounded like smaller echoes at another end of a fallen oak log. The sound repeated and deducted its echo each time as they reached closer to the end. The man looked down at the tiled floor, seeing each tile fly down in front of his eyes like a falling vine, collapsing into a line forever until the sky followed down. The movement of the embossed tiles progressed his sickness, he felt a strange mixture of white and red hot liquid in his pale and thin chest. He began to imagine the square tiles curl into cones that covered the textured walls like he'd never seen before. The man was like a sick man with trypophobic fever, a never-ending pattern of irregular holes beginning to curl into his dark empty mind. Everything was becoming into slow pit of quicksand.
-Chapter 1-
I saw the vast city underneath my eyes and beneath the heating sun. It was inside my beating head; my curiousness of the only treasure I sought that lied between the soft sand and strong stone, but it always did in my stubborn mind. As I walked between two fine lines of colliding dunes, my skin became like the malignant sand as it swallowed my wrapped feet like a pit of freshly squeezed human blood. I didn't feel anything less than a drop of sweat in a pot of soil; dried up and desperately striving for a day of rain which I could continue to desperately strive for another. The deep steps that I took were swept away by the burning wind, off into slabs of sand in another traveled dune. I felt the heat beating against my dried eyes, like a fish grabbed by the tail, and swept across a floor piled with razor thin paper, feeling each sweep with a slit on my fragile bones.
The air smelled like thin slices of beef topped onto a hot soup, and ripe gases of camel dung around the formidable walls. I didn't know what to think about the dung, but I felt my empty stomach growl for a good minute, until I reached for the sandy bricks of the golden bridge reaching to the gates of Nirima. I walked across. Crowds of travelers shoved and pushed me aside to rush inside into the city, then the gates closed and everybody who didn't make it went back to the other side of the bridge. I stopped in front of the gate, two dark-skinned men with large iron swords and leather armor on. One guard looked away, he looked like he didn't want to deal with anybody. The other guard stared at the me, then he inspected me, like a deadly vulture that was hungry for the steaming carcass of a dead. He uncrossed his baggy clothed arms, and walked in front of me with his head up high. His sword clinked against his boggling money pouch, and the smirk on his face looked like he was unimpressed of me, like I was just another lost foreigner.
"It seems like you've had a good sun bathe out there." He sarcastically said. "Unfortunately, I can't allow you in with that.", he pointed at the side of my right hip, where both of my blades sheathed. "You're gonna need to give it to the authorities, but only if you wanna enter without dealing with problems." he added with a sinister smirk.
I gave him a dishonored look, and slothly turned around for the vendors across the bridge. I felt enraged by the snarky attitude he'd given me, an attitude to receive from a corrupted guard. I wanted to kill him furiously in the middle of the bridge; in front of every man and woman, like a clawed beast of a deep wilderness. I felt a rush of blood through my veins, and the dark blood in my heart pumped quickly, like a bullet train powered by the most powerful nuclear energy. When I reached at the other end of the bridge, I quickly turned around and glared at the guard walking back to his stilted position. I felt it again, the heat of the sun bursting away my skin and organs, like a seared steak, ripping my flesh against the bricks of the bridge.
A hand grabbed my firm right shoulder. I turned around with the reflection of blood in my eyes to see an elegant woman in a red robed hood and as I stared, my eyes quickly began to slowly dilate into a burst of blue like an opposite blossom in the mediate of a green spring. She let go of my relaxed shoulder, putting her small hands above her red hood and slowly putting it down like a blanket in a park, as she smiled with delightful green emerald eyes. Her elegant dark brown hair glistened in the flaming hot sun in lighter shades of brown, stringing equally in the air like a thousand kites flying above a sunset sea. Her existence made everything around feel like a cloud; perfect to see and hold in your arms.
"I haven't seen you for months" she said delightfully. "Where have you been?", her lips sparkled like pink roses glossing in the spring, and her smile was perfect like the person she was. The entire market turn around to her, and stared like poor hawks.
"I've been walking through these deserts." I replied, then I hesitated. "I haven't seen you in forever, too." and I smiled back with my enlightened eyes almost closed from my soiled cheeks. I didn't know what to exactly feel from her presence, but I knew that the warmth didn't come from the heating sun beating on my back. The warmth mysteriously came from her, and my heart didn't fill with rushing blood or intense rage anymore; it felt as if it flowed like a river running through endless miles of forest plains, and into a deep blue and beautiful ocean. Her voice soothed my rage away like the burst of a bubble. Her presence was lovely, like a summer day in a park with two melting blue popsicles. I didn't want to kill anybody in the middle of this sandy bridge anymore. I didn't want to feel like a beast and show every man and woman what I can do; not in front of Sarang, at least. I didn't know what else to feel in that moment.
We walked towards the tall city gates together, and the guards gave us entrance. The dust within the walls blew towards us,and the sound of people rustled into our souls.
-Chapter 2- [Work in progress]
The long roads in every direction were filled with hooded civilians and sweaty vendors. Small buildings that were filled with hundreds of people ran along each road. I followed Sarang as she took my hand, and she walked towards the beautiful blue palace among the smoke of the city. As we slowly walked towards the palace, Sarang looked back at me and was horrified that I was very thin.
"We should get something to snack on before we get to my home." She said. She looked around for a vendor, and there was a person selling the finest kebabs among the rest of the sellers. Its' rich smell of onions and sliced beef filled my nostrils, and the beef looked vigorously cooked with sparkles of salt spread evenly. I offered to pay for each kebob, I wanted to be Sarang's good friend. She was part of the royalty, but she was disguised. She didn't want me to buy it because she knew that I wasn't made of money, so she pulled out her pouch and told me that it was okay. Then, a thief ran by and snatched her purse. She gasped and yelled after him, then I sprinted for him through the busy streets and into an ally. When we got to the ally, he had nowhere to go, except climbing the impossible architecture of the walls. He climbed up very fast and I followed him from below. While he was running down a wooden plank between two buildings, the wooden plank broke and the man fell far onto the ground. He was critically hurt, but I took back the pouch and tried to help him. Sarang came and told me not to help him because he was a criminal and should be left to die. I couldn't say anything because he was a thief and Sarang was a royal princess, so we left him and I felt really sad for him. We continued going to the palace, which was not very far from where we were.
We got to the palace without the food, but Sarang had ordered the maids to prepare a meal for a special guest. She wanted to show me her collection, but King Geamon wanted to see me again for a long time, so he came to get me. We walked around the courtyard garden and he asked me to do a favor for him. The favor was becoming a highly-trained fighter for the first reconnaissance of the Belirian Military. He said that the first reconnaissance would become a special force and be put into important missions. I hesitated, but I accepted his special offer because I wanted to become a better fighter whilst being around Sarang. King Geamon told me that training would start the day after, and that he was glad to have me part of his kingdom. We went down to eat with Sarang and the rest of the royal family. After the meal, I went to Sarang's room to see what she had to show me earlier. She said that she had collected pieces of fallen stars around the desert. She gave me a complete fallen star that she put together into a necklace, and then we talked about our adventures. I told her that I was going to be part of the first reconnaissance of the Belirian military, and she looked worried. Sarang knew that I was going to be moving into dangerous areas, where if I were to be caught, they would torture me and interrogate me for days. I told her that it would be okay, and we said goodnight to each other.
Hello, I'm back and it's almost the end of school, so that means I have time to write more. It's a great feeling to let my mind flow into this story, and that's exactly what I'm doing at this moment.
I've made a few changes to the story:
- Grammar fixes in prologue and chapter 1
- Better implications of imagery and word choice
- A draft of chapter 2, majority of the text given will change over time.
It's good to be back, but I'm motivated by the amount of feedback from people, so if you want to support, please comment here! Thanks.
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-Prologue-
When he woke up, he reached over for a golden nugget in the dark. His feet stumbled onto the cold and wet cobblestone ground, as he sat on a red, worn, and featherless bed. He tightly clutched the small golden nugget with his soiled hands and squinted his tired eyes, like a thousand pounds of coal slowly crushed together into a crystal clear diamond. Inside his mind, he could hear a vast volcano rupturing up, like an earthquake within the palms of his hands. As he released the golden nugget slowly from his stricken strength, the volcano faded away and his hands unwrapped with sweat. His large hands had been cleaned of the black dirt, and he slipped the golden nugget into the left empty pocket of his grey pants. He opened his eyes into the darkness, slowly waiting for the shadows to disappear, and then he saw himself, sitting alone inside a stone room.
Outside of the stone room, footsteps came echoing through the iron door. A warder appeared into the open frame of the door. Three loud taps with a blunt stick knocked onto the metal door, and he glared at the man sitting on the bed.
“Prisoner number 802,” the guard exclaimed, “Your time has come.”
He closed the frame where he peeked through, and walked a few steps slowly from the door. After a few seconds, more footsteps echoed through the door and stopped in front of the door. The door clicked with a heavy key into the handle of the door, like the sound of metal grinding together. Finally, the heavy door opened slowly with ‘802’ in bold black ink on the front. Three prison guards stood in plain sight of the man, heavily armed with large iron swords and leather armor that was slightly darker than the corner of the room. They grabbed the man by his skimpy arms and slowly dragged him out of the cold room.
He glared at the light colors of the windowed hall with his rusty miner's eyes. The prison guards took steps that sounded like smaller echoes at another end of a fallen oak log. The sound repeated and deducted its echo each time as they reached closer to the end. The man looked down at the tiled floor, seeing each tile fly down in front of his eyes like a falling vine, collapsing into a line forever until the sky followed down. The movement of the embossed tiles progressed his sickness, he felt a strange mixture of white and red hot liquid in his pale and thin chest. He began to imagine the square tiles curl into cones that covered the textured walls like he'd never seen before. The man was like a sick man with trypophobic fever, a never-ending pattern of irregular holes beginning to curl into his dark empty mind. Everything was becoming into slow pit of quicksand.
-Chapter 1-
I saw the vast city underneath my eyes and beneath the heating sun. It was inside my beating head; my curiousness of the only treasure I sought that lied between the soft sand and strong stone, but it always did in my stubborn mind. As I walked between two fine lines of colliding dunes, my skin became like the malignant sand as it swallowed my wrapped feet like a pit of freshly squeezed human blood. I didn't feel anything less than a drop of sweat in a pot of soil; dried up and desperately striving for a day of rain which I could continue to desperately strive for another. The deep steps that I took were swept away by the burning wind, off into slabs of sand in another traveled dune. I felt the heat beating against my dried eyes, like a fish grabbed by the tail, and swept across a floor piled with razor thin paper, feeling each sweep with a slit on my fragile bones.
The air smelled like thin slices of beef topped onto a hot soup, and ripe gases of camel dung around the formidable walls. I didn't know what to think about the dung, but I felt my empty stomach growl for a good minute, until I reached for the sandy bricks of the golden bridge reaching to the gates of Nirima. I walked across. Crowds of travelers shoved and pushed me aside to rush inside into the city, then the gates closed and everybody who didn't make it went back to the other side of the bridge. I stopped in front of the gate, two dark-skinned men with large iron swords and leather armor on. One guard looked away, he looked like he didn't want to deal with anybody. The other guard stared at the me, then he inspected me, like a deadly vulture that was hungry for the steaming carcass of a dead. He uncrossed his baggy clothed arms, and walked in front of me with his head up high. His sword clinked against his boggling money pouch, and the smirk on his face looked like he was unimpressed of me, like I was just another lost foreigner.
"It seems like you've had a good sun bathe out there." He sarcastically said. "Unfortunately, I can't allow you in with that.", he pointed at the side of my right hip, where both of my blades sheathed. "You're gonna need to give it to the authorities, but only if you wanna enter without dealing with problems." he added with a sinister smirk.
I gave him a dishonored look, and slothly turned around for the vendors across the bridge. I felt enraged by the snarky attitude he'd given me, an attitude to receive from a corrupted guard. I wanted to kill him furiously in the middle of the bridge; in front of every man and woman, like a clawed beast of a deep wilderness. I felt a rush of blood through my veins, and the dark blood in my heart pumped quickly, like a bullet train powered by the most powerful nuclear energy. When I reached at the other end of the bridge, I quickly turned around and glared at the guard walking back to his stilted position. I felt it again, the heat of the sun bursting away my skin and organs, like a seared steak, ripping my flesh against the bricks of the bridge.
A hand grabbed my firm right shoulder. I turned around with the reflection of blood in my eyes to see an elegant woman in a red robed hood and as I stared, my eyes quickly began to slowly dilate into a burst of blue like an opposite blossom in the mediate of a green spring. She let go of my relaxed shoulder, putting her small hands above her red hood and slowly putting it down like a blanket in a park, as she smiled with delightful green emerald eyes. Her elegant dark brown hair glistened in the flaming hot sun in lighter shades of brown, stringing equally in the air like a thousand kites flying above a sunset sea. Her existence made everything around feel like a cloud; perfect to see and hold in your arms.
"I haven't seen you for months" she said delightfully. "Where have you been?", her lips sparkled like pink roses glossing in the spring, and her smile was perfect like the person she was. The entire market turn around to her, and stared like poor hawks.
"I've been walking through these deserts." I replied, then I hesitated. "I haven't seen you in forever, too." and I smiled back with my enlightened eyes almost closed from my soiled cheeks. I didn't know what to exactly feel from her presence, but I knew that the warmth didn't come from the heating sun beating on my back. The warmth mysteriously came from her, and my heart didn't fill with rushing blood or intense rage anymore; it felt as if it flowed like a river running through endless miles of forest plains, and into a deep blue and beautiful ocean. Her voice soothed my rage away like the burst of a bubble. Her presence was lovely, like a summer day in a park with two melting blue popsicles. I didn't want to kill anybody in the middle of this sandy bridge anymore. I didn't want to feel like a beast and show every man and woman what I can do; not in front of Sarang, at least. I didn't know what else to feel in that moment.
We walked towards the tall city gates together, and the guards gave us entrance. The dust within the walls blew towards us,and the sound of people rustled into our souls.
-Chapter 2- [Work in progress]
The long roads in every direction were filled with hooded civilians and sweaty vendors. Small buildings that were filled with hundreds of people ran along each road. I followed Sarang as she took my hand, and she walked towards the beautiful blue palace among the smoke of the city. As we slowly walked towards the palace, Sarang looked back at me and was horrified that I was very thin.
"We should get something to snack on before we get to my home." She said. She looked around for a vendor, and there was a person selling the finest kebabs among the rest of the sellers. Its' rich smell of onions and sliced beef filled my nostrils, and the beef looked vigorously cooked with sparkles of salt spread evenly. I offered to pay for each kebob, I wanted to be Sarang's good friend. She was part of the royalty, but she was disguised. She didn't want me to buy it because she knew that I wasn't made of money, so she pulled out her pouch and told me that it was okay. Then, a thief ran by and snatched her purse. She gasped and yelled after him, then I sprinted for him through the busy streets and into an ally. When we got to the ally, he had nowhere to go, except climbing the impossible architecture of the walls. He climbed up very fast and I followed him from below. While he was running down a wooden plank between two buildings, the wooden plank broke and the man fell far onto the ground. He was critically hurt, but I took back the pouch and tried to help him. Sarang came and told me not to help him because he was a criminal and should be left to die. I couldn't say anything because he was a thief and Sarang was a royal princess, so we left him and I felt really sad for him. We continued going to the palace, which was not very far from where we were.
We got to the palace without the food, but Sarang had ordered the maids to prepare a meal for a special guest. She wanted to show me her collection, but King Geamon wanted to see me again for a long time, so he came to get me. We walked around the courtyard garden and he asked me to do a favor for him. The favor was becoming a highly-trained fighter for the first reconnaissance of the Belirian Military. He said that the first reconnaissance would become a special force and be put into important missions. I hesitated, but I accepted his special offer because I wanted to become a better fighter whilst being around Sarang. King Geamon told me that training would start the day after, and that he was glad to have me part of his kingdom. We went down to eat with Sarang and the rest of the royal family. After the meal, I went to Sarang's room to see what she had to show me earlier. She said that she had collected pieces of fallen stars around the desert. She gave me a complete fallen star that she put together into a necklace, and then we talked about our adventures. I told her that I was going to be part of the first reconnaissance of the Belirian military, and she looked worried. Sarang knew that I was going to be moving into dangerous areas, where if I were to be caught, they would torture me and interrogate me for days. I told her that it would be okay, and we said goodnight to each other.
this story is good and i like the details you add... i can imagine it
good job and i will read more from you
Hello, I'm back and it's almost the end of school, so that means I have time to write more. It's a great feeling to let my mind flow into this story, and that's exactly what I'm doing at this moment.
I've made a few changes to the story:
- Grammar fixes in prologue and chapter 1
- Better implications of imagery and word choice
- A draft of chapter 2, majority of the text given will change over time.
It's good to be back, but I'm motivated by the amount of feedback from people, so if you want to support, please comment here! Thanks.