Hello Minecrafters! I host a tumblr at wizcraftgaming.tumblr.com, where I have created a riveting set of story lines! I have two legacies on-going, each sectioned into "seasons" just like a television series, each with crazy season finales! Each episode is adorned with cinematic images to go with the outstanding writing!
Season 1 - Shelter In the series opener, Shelter opens up a new world and introduces the protagonist as a grown-up man, starting out and surviving in the world after technology and the industry have suddenly failed. With no memory before the “black-out” the protagonist camps out on unknown territory in order to continue to survive.
Season 1 - Silence After several weeks, we see how far our little Minecrafter has gone, from meeting a new friend that will eventually change his life to making life-changing choices that will impact his future in the long run.
Season 1 - Stranded In the series opener, Stranded introduces main protagonist WizMark and Nerd as older men, who after being dropped off onto an island must face the treacherous obstacles ahead of them.
When I first read the title, I thought it might have been some "Shadow of Israphel"-inspired let's-play. I guess that wouldn't make sense, though, as this is the Literature subforum.
This reminds me of a web page design project I did a few years back, and I'm probably not the first. Sorry to burst your bubble, but folks claiming their Minecraft creation is the first of its kind are starting to become my pet peeve.
I mean, sure, it's a cute idea, and it's a step up from the 30-minute-long, little-to-no-editing let's-plays which bloat YouTube, but at the end of the day, it's still a generic Minecraft let's-play. It's the same experience that every Minecraft player has, with a few bad tropes thrown in.
Your prose is good, but it's wasted on the overused storyline of "starting a new Minecraft world." The most enjoyable part of it was seeing the creations you built, while the least enjoyable part was the overdone drama. The part when you flattened your farm by building a road over it is when I stopped reading.
Don't get me wrong: what you're doing has a lot of potential, but the content falls short. I did skip around in some later chapters, so I realize that your story does depart from the typical "surviving your first night" theme. What I did read just wasn't very believable, though. The short length of your posts makes it easier for your viewers to digest, but you must be sure to select your words carefully! Think more carefully about how a real human being would actually react in a certain situation, and have some setting and buildup to make the important events in your story more worthwhile (and when I say "setting," I do not mean punching wood and collecting resources). Take your time with both the story and your writing, and it will make all the difference.
I'm sorry I'm going to feel like an asshole, probably going to come off as one but I have to reciprocate a lot of what asan has said already. And add to it. I'm not trying to be mean, but it would be a detriment to your writing to not bring these up. I've read the full way through chapters 1 and 2 so I'm sorry if any of this has at all been addressed before. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD
1. They're way too short. Simple enough. There's not enough happening in any of them to justify them as separate parts and the ones that are split into two-parters are frankly ridiculous. Plus, it makes the spelling errors even more prevalent. Usually these can be ignored but the short length means there’s so little to be seen that we can’t help but notice them.
2. Nothing new is being done here. I'm sorry but your bold claim is not just easily interpreted as arrogance but it also demonstrates a distinct lack of knowledge about the world of writing and even let's plays around you. The Yogscast started a trend of let's plays that turned into grand adventures and this doesn't even have the benefit of the suspenseful build-up and interestingly divergent plot. It's like a children's book except the pictures are all at the beginning and barely bear any resemblance to what happened (especially near the beginning), or there’s simply nothing that really merited a picture so it may as well bear no resemblance. It comes off as almost lazy, especially after seeing virtually the same thing done with what I assume are hand/photoshop drawn images in "One Small Step for Liam" not even a week beforehand. Yes I am aware that you started this long beforehand, but the point remains. No one reads the background information or dates of publishing on the internet elsewhere, so I assume at least some of that habit will seep into this sub-forum. It would have worked better if the images were interlaced throughout the story It's like a blog post of a bunch of guys going on an interesting trip in a foreign country and making daily updates. Sad thing is nothing interesting or even new is happening at all, and the frankly egoistical description pissed me off to begin with, sounding like nothing but self-worship. There are no such “crazy season finales” or much of anything described. That brings me into my next point.
3. Nothing happens in this story. Two seasons in and the most interesting things that happened are that you lost a couple of pet wolves and met another player. At least with stories like The Order of the Stone things happen. They don't happen in a manner that the viewer can care about or even at times understand but they happen (sorry pointlessdavid). It took me about 10-15 lines to summarise that in a paragraph but here's what I can summarise the plot of TWO SEASONS with:
"I woke up and I did crafty things. Then I met some pigs. Then more crafty things. Then more. Then I caught pigs. Then I new a wolf for two days, he died and I mourned him for the next umpteen episodes. Then his family joined me and I got lost. I got better. Then his sister died and I mourned for one episode. I felt self-pity in the next and mourned Harrison some more before contemplating suicide. Then I decided not to and the wolves got a new child. THEN NAUGHTY SKELETONS AND ADORABLE WOLVES WTF! (seriously this was ridiculous; sounds like a skrillex EP) Then more crafty things. Then season two. Then I went to hell. Then I was scared of hell. Then mourned Harrison some more. And for some reason beyond my comprehension RETURNED to hell and liked the solitude. Then I met a guy. Then I remembered I survived the apocalypse and so did he. Then he had a serious emotional dilemma about... the apocalypse. Then we remembered the apocalypse some more. Then we went to look for his sister. Then SERIOUS EMOTIONAL DILEMMA CLIFFHANGER."
It's at this point that I wished it was going to become another Shadow Of Israphel clone. It just lacked a proper plot to justify its existence. It very plainly wants to be a very gritty and emotionally hard-hitting character drama but... more on that later.
4. The plot is ridiculous. I've seen the Steve vs World formula done a million times before but in general they tried to follow a sound reasoning for everything. Anything to do with Mark and Jhumar's emotional turmoil makes no sense and the reason you give for Mark returning to hell really baffles me. Also the backstories are as run of the mill as it gets. Zombie apocalypse, dead family, survived via loophole, thinks family member is still alive.
5. I don’t like your prose. This is simply opinion based but I find it pretty standard. Like I mentioned before, it’s like a blog post on facebook or twitter. It relies on eye-catching pictures to provide detail. This would work better if they were spaced out through the text, with added descriptions to complement the images. It allows for nice comparison between your descriptions and their accuracy to the pictures. What happens here is that there’s no memorable detail and the story leans on the pictures like a crutch that’s sadly just out of reach, leaving the viewer to hand each respective crutch to the correct part of the story lest it keel over and die. However, I have to give you props for the description of the End as “the end of a long journey”. That was well-played, if only there was more of this abstract imagery because we need someone to pull a Paradise Lost on here and create a grand epic of surreal concepts being made physical and or personified. Plus, the pictures improve in relation to the story in chapter 2 and the text over them is decently well-done and clever, if a little hard to read at times.
6. Characters. I find them really inconsistent and not that interesting. Like I mentioned before, the backstories for them are completely run of the mill. This really detracts from the experience as they really feel like cliché cutouts. Plus, the two mains (the only characters besides the wolves who got completely shafted in Season 2, they couldn’t have been useful at all) are really quite unlikeable. I couldn’t help but have my “yelling at the TV” moments with them. Mark is a wuss beyond all belief, and an inconsistent one at that. He starts out consistent enough, kind of innocent. He feels really bad about killing pigs at the start; attempts to tame the zombies and skeles off-text. Then he turns into a total wimp, moping for at least half a dozen episodes about the death of “dear Harrison”; whom he knew for all of a DAY AND A HALF! Then, Luna dies, who he’s known for at least 5 times as long, and he feels totally devastated for the last few lines of an episode… then he starts thinking about nothing but GODDAMN HARRISON AGAIN! SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOU- sorry, tangential rant; probably sentimental reasons. Then he contemplates suicide kind of forcedly and then the next episode he only mentions Luna in connection with HARRISON *shakes fist* and the parents really don’t seem to care much. Then Mark completely forgets about all this because of the aforementioned rejected Skrillex EP, but that’s another area to address entirely. Plus his pondering of his own existence
Oh, then there’s Jhumar. SCREW JHUMAR! He does nothing but complain and mope about his past. He sounded like he was going to be this hardened mentor character who has survived the depths of hell from his first line of dialogue. Nope! He’s the pessimistic emo kid that no one likes of their own free will! The guy who crafts pretentious excuses for his own incompetence. Don’t know if his character improves but I could only dislike this guy as of the end of season two. And don’t get me started on his emotional dilemma at the end… HE’S LITERALLY BEING TOLD “HEY, JHUMAR! WANNA SIT BACK ON YOUR ASS WHILST MARK FIGHTS YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU MORE?! HERE’S THE PERFECT OPENING!”
7. The mood and tone here shifts too jarringly. The tone sounded like an LP at first, then turned into a melodrama with everything about HARRISON *shakes fist* and his “existential crisis”. Both of which felt forced. And of course, there’s Naughty Skeletons and Adorable Wolves. This feels like such an insult to a “character” that Mark actually had some time to get to know and instead he just completely forgets about because HARRISON *shakes fist* was so brilliant.
8. Lastly, there’s no humour to it. It thinks it’s grand and ground-breaking but it really isn’t. As a result it provides no enjoyment. The only reason most people watch let’s plays in general is because they think the commentator is humorous. Therefore you’re doing the equivalent of just uploading raw footage of someone’s play through of minecraft but with the audio muted. I’m not saying it has to be out and out hilarious, but at least make attempts at humour. It can be done whilst still maintaining a serious tone. For this check out End, Sorrows of the Seven Kingdoms (accessible via the minefic list) or even the Book of Dreams.
I’m sorry but I personally would recommend a complete return to the drawing board on this story and decide how to better implement the concept with a greater degree of thought, detail and originality. It’s not terrible by any means. It’s just disappointingly average and fails to deliver on its grandiose promises. 5/10
Hey guys! Let me start off by saying that both of your critiques are greatly appreciated and very glad that you both took the time to check out what I had to say! And honestly, when I read both of what you had to say, I laughed my ass off! Because all you said was true! And I respect what you guys had to say and thank you guys for being totally honest!
Let me first start off that I didn't have any backdoor plans for this series. I wasn't planning on a series at all. I started Season 1 with thinking of creating a Let's Play for myself to document my adventures. And to have any others interested in my story to ride along with me. That explains about half of your critiques. I wasn't trying to create the best writing. I wasn't trying to create a storyline. I was just playing Minecraft and writing nitbits at the end.
When Season 1 Part 2 came in (where Harrison is introduced), that is when the dramatic soap opera-esque tone begins to set in. I admit, I had OVERDONE the drama ever since. LOTS of drama I must confess. But that's entirely why I like it. It's so unrealistically dramatic that I laugh at myself sometimes. I know it may not resonate this way with others, but I hope there are and maybe will be.
1. Short. Indeed, they are short. Spelling errors? Indeed. Most of that was laziness to go back and change them. But once Season 2 came, I decided to incorporate the text into the pictures, and that required lots of editing. Once I had finished editing it, and found errors, it would be too much of a hassle to go back and re-edit them. Yes, I'm lazy.
2. I honestly didn't know this hadn't been done. I, of course, hope and am glad that there are other people who have created similar things. But at the time, I did not know. Sorry! And with the way tumblr was designed, it just wasn't easy to have the pictures coincide within the text, without the post looking funky.
3. Haha. I agree nothing happens in the story. Season 1 particularly was about Mark starting out, building things, getting to know the ropes, meeting Harrison, losing Harrison, dealing with Harrison, and leaving for Hell. It's a pretty generic plot and story I can say that. But I wanted it to be simple. Then Season 2 comes and Mark is surprised as to what Hell really was and retreats back for a final farewell. Returning back to Hell, he meets Jhumar, and with it, all of the drama that follows. SERIOUS EMOTIONAL DILEMMA CLIFFHANGER!
4. The plot IS ridiculous! Very generic. And that's the point. I'm not saying it is original, but it's as original as it gets.
5. As I've said, I wrote Season 1 as if it was a blog post. It did take me awhile to change my prose up a bit. But I feel as though it's improved, if not just a little, as the seasons progressed.
6. Mark was innocent. But he has progressed into this hard, but caring young man. As you can see, following the apocalypse, he's had no one since it happened. Harrison was his first real chance at a friend, and he's lost him. Harrison symbolizes his quick and unexpected loss for his family.
Jhumar symbolizes Mark's hope. All of these characters do not stand on their own, and they're not supposed. They're all supposed to accompany Mark because this is his story. Also I'm not sure if you understand what happened at the end. Jhumar is given a choice. To either have the villagers help him find his family and leave WizMark behind, or have ONLY WizMark help him find his family.
7. Hands down, I was not looking for humor. I was looking for drama. But in itself, the ridiculousness of the overdone drama is hilarious!
In conclusion, I am not taking this story seriously. I also would like to admit that I was in middle school when I wrote this. I've gotten better at writing. Just not at writing Minecraft stories.
If anything, I strongly encourage you guys to read Season 3! It's the latest season anyways, and I'm really looking for your feedback on it!
Also, if you guys want to read something not Minecraft-related, and a more recently WELL-WRITTEN story, please read this one story and give me feedback on it (It's super short I promise.) I swear this redeems my lackluster Minecraft writing 5 million times over and over and over.
Hello Minecrafters! I host a tumblr at wizcraftgaming.tumblr.com, where I have created a riveting set of story lines! I have two legacies on-going, each sectioned into "seasons" just like a television series, each with crazy season finales! Each episode is adorned with cinematic images to go with the outstanding writing!
I wouldn't have given you serious feedback if I didn't think you were writing a serious story. Now I just feel like you've wasted my time.
If you feel like you need to persuade others why your story is good AFTER they've read the story, then you're doing it wrong.
4. The plot IS ridiculous! Very generic. And that's the point. I'm not saying it is original, but it's as original as it gets.
I'm sorry but reading this again, I'm just pissed off by this statement as I was at the time. This attitude is the reason fanfics like The Order of the Stone exist. (I hate bringing this up and feel like an asshole for constantly scape-goating Pointless but atm it's the best example I can think of) This statement shows a distinct lack of imagination, creativity and general awareness. We wouldn't be calling you out on originality if this were "original as it gets"!
No, this is the least original there is. Even Order of the Stone had some originality, throwing in a twister a few hundred ender-dragons and alternate universes. There are hundreds of examples of works that are so original you could read them and not even guess it was based on a video-game were you MC illiterate. I will now proceed to list original examples of Minefics off the top of my head to prove to you how braindead ignorant this statement is:
Book of Dreams.
Sorrows of the Seven Kingdoms
Before
My Wonderful Apprenticeship
End/Enderpeace
The Eternal Mine
How not to Survive
Gravity Bound
Dark Aether
Shadow of Skiamance
Vote4VC (I don't care that this was a total ****-take it's still shockingly original)
Four Broken Swords
Beyond the Void
Anything written by KotoroYoshida
The Chronicles of Minecraftia: Hero's Shadow
The Steve Chronicles
The RIFT Project
The Lesser Evil
Fall and A Rise: A Vanillacraft Tale (I know this is mine and it's not half as good as some of the stuff further up the list but you can't fault me for originality)
A look at any single one of these will show you that minefics can be so much more than a glorified let's play.
As for the "ah but it's **** anyway argument", confess that it's bad to begin with and try to sell it as an overdone drama. You just come across as a douche-bag. This is without mentioning that it's not over-done bad enough to garner hilarity. The best that could be mustered here was a dissatisfied grumble once we discovered that you'd tricked us. Rant finished.
*puts on second top-hat and close door just to walk out of it again.*
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Like fantasy? Like Minecraft? Check out a blend of the two here! Fall and a Rise: A Vanillacraft Tale!
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WizMark's Let's Play Series / Episode Archive
Season 1 - Shelter
In the series opener, Shelter opens up a new world and introduces the protagonist as a grown-up man, starting out and surviving in the world after technology and the industry have suddenly failed. With no memory before the “black-out” the protagonist camps out on unknown territory in order to continue to survive.
Season 1 - Silence
After several weeks, we see how far our little Minecrafter has gone, from meeting a new friend that will eventually change his life to making life-changing choices that will impact his future in the long run.
Go on to read Season 2 and Season 3!
WizMark's Survival Island Series
Season 1 - Stranded
In the series opener, Stranded introduces main protagonist WizMark and Nerd as older men, who after being dropped off onto an island must face the treacherous obstacles ahead of them.
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Curse PremiumThis reminds me of a web page design project I did a few years back, and I'm probably not the first. Sorry to burst your bubble, but folks claiming their Minecraft creation is the first of its kind are starting to become my pet peeve.
I mean, sure, it's a cute idea, and it's a step up from the 30-minute-long, little-to-no-editing let's-plays which bloat YouTube, but at the end of the day, it's still a generic Minecraft let's-play. It's the same experience that every Minecraft player has, with a few bad tropes thrown in.
Your prose is good, but it's wasted on the overused storyline of "starting a new Minecraft world." The most enjoyable part of it was seeing the creations you built, while the least enjoyable part was the overdone drama. The part when you flattened your farm by building a road over it is when I stopped reading.
Don't get me wrong: what you're doing has a lot of potential, but the content falls short. I did skip around in some later chapters, so I realize that your story does depart from the typical "surviving your first night" theme. What I did read just wasn't very believable, though. The short length of your posts makes it easier for your viewers to digest, but you must be sure to select your words carefully! Think more carefully about how a real human being would actually react in a certain situation, and have some setting and buildup to make the important events in your story more worthwhile (and when I say "setting," I do not mean punching wood and collecting resources). Take your time with both the story and your writing, and it will make all the difference.
1. They're way too short. Simple enough. There's not enough happening in any of them to justify them as separate parts and the ones that are split into two-parters are frankly ridiculous. Plus, it makes the spelling errors even more prevalent. Usually these can be ignored but the short length means there’s so little to be seen that we can’t help but notice them.
2. Nothing new is being done here. I'm sorry but your bold claim is not just easily interpreted as arrogance but it also demonstrates a distinct lack of knowledge about the world of writing and even let's plays around you. The Yogscast started a trend of let's plays that turned into grand adventures and this doesn't even have the benefit of the suspenseful build-up and interestingly divergent plot. It's like a children's book except the pictures are all at the beginning and barely bear any resemblance to what happened (especially near the beginning), or there’s simply nothing that really merited a picture so it may as well bear no resemblance. It comes off as almost lazy, especially after seeing virtually the same thing done with what I assume are hand/photoshop drawn images in "One Small Step for Liam" not even a week beforehand. Yes I am aware that you started this long beforehand, but the point remains. No one reads the background information or dates of publishing on the internet elsewhere, so I assume at least some of that habit will seep into this sub-forum. It would have worked better if the images were interlaced throughout the story It's like a blog post of a bunch of guys going on an interesting trip in a foreign country and making daily updates. Sad thing is nothing interesting or even new is happening at all, and the frankly egoistical description pissed me off to begin with, sounding like nothing but self-worship. There are no such “crazy season finales” or much of anything described. That brings me into my next point.
3. Nothing happens in this story. Two seasons in and the most interesting things that happened are that you lost a couple of pet wolves and met another player. At least with stories like The Order of the Stone things happen. They don't happen in a manner that the viewer can care about or even at times understand but they happen (sorry pointlessdavid). It took me about 10-15 lines to summarise that in a paragraph but here's what I can summarise the plot of TWO SEASONS with:
"I woke up and I did crafty things. Then I met some pigs. Then more crafty things. Then more. Then I caught pigs. Then I new a wolf for two days, he died and I mourned him for the next umpteen episodes. Then his family joined me and I got lost. I got better. Then his sister died and I mourned for one episode. I felt self-pity in the next and mourned Harrison some more before contemplating suicide. Then I decided not to and the wolves got a new child. THEN NAUGHTY SKELETONS AND ADORABLE WOLVES WTF! (seriously this was ridiculous; sounds like a skrillex EP) Then more crafty things. Then season two. Then I went to hell. Then I was scared of hell. Then mourned Harrison some more. And for some reason beyond my comprehension RETURNED to hell and liked the solitude. Then I met a guy. Then I remembered I survived the apocalypse and so did he. Then he had a serious emotional dilemma about... the apocalypse. Then we remembered the apocalypse some more. Then we went to look for his sister. Then SERIOUS EMOTIONAL DILEMMA CLIFFHANGER."
It's at this point that I wished it was going to become another Shadow Of Israphel clone. It just lacked a proper plot to justify its existence. It very plainly wants to be a very gritty and emotionally hard-hitting character drama but... more on that later.
4. The plot is ridiculous. I've seen the Steve vs World formula done a million times before but in general they tried to follow a sound reasoning for everything. Anything to do with Mark and Jhumar's emotional turmoil makes no sense and the reason you give for Mark returning to hell really baffles me. Also the backstories are as run of the mill as it gets. Zombie apocalypse, dead family, survived via loophole, thinks family member is still alive.
5. I don’t like your prose. This is simply opinion based but I find it pretty standard. Like I mentioned before, it’s like a blog post on facebook or twitter. It relies on eye-catching pictures to provide detail. This would work better if they were spaced out through the text, with added descriptions to complement the images. It allows for nice comparison between your descriptions and their accuracy to the pictures. What happens here is that there’s no memorable detail and the story leans on the pictures like a crutch that’s sadly just out of reach, leaving the viewer to hand each respective crutch to the correct part of the story lest it keel over and die. However, I have to give you props for the description of the End as “the end of a long journey”. That was well-played, if only there was more of this abstract imagery because we need someone to pull a Paradise Lost on here and create a grand epic of surreal concepts being made physical and or personified. Plus, the pictures improve in relation to the story in chapter 2 and the text over them is decently well-done and clever, if a little hard to read at times.
6. Characters. I find them really inconsistent and not that interesting. Like I mentioned before, the backstories for them are completely run of the mill. This really detracts from the experience as they really feel like cliché cutouts. Plus, the two mains (the only characters besides the wolves who got completely shafted in Season 2, they couldn’t have been useful at all) are really quite unlikeable. I couldn’t help but have my “yelling at the TV” moments with them. Mark is a wuss beyond all belief, and an inconsistent one at that. He starts out consistent enough, kind of innocent. He feels really bad about killing pigs at the start; attempts to tame the zombies and skeles off-text. Then he turns into a total wimp, moping for at least half a dozen episodes about the death of “dear Harrison”; whom he knew for all of a DAY AND A HALF! Then, Luna dies, who he’s known for at least 5 times as long, and he feels totally devastated for the last few lines of an episode… then he starts thinking about nothing but GODDAMN HARRISON AGAIN! SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS SO GREAT ABOU- sorry, tangential rant; probably sentimental reasons. Then he contemplates suicide kind of forcedly and then the next episode he only mentions Luna in connection with HARRISON *shakes fist* and the parents really don’t seem to care much. Then Mark completely forgets about all this because of the aforementioned rejected Skrillex EP, but that’s another area to address entirely. Plus his pondering of his own existence
Oh, then there’s Jhumar. SCREW JHUMAR! He does nothing but complain and mope about his past. He sounded like he was going to be this hardened mentor character who has survived the depths of hell from his first line of dialogue. Nope! He’s the pessimistic emo kid that no one likes of their own free will! The guy who crafts pretentious excuses for his own incompetence. Don’t know if his character improves but I could only dislike this guy as of the end of season two. And don’t get me started on his emotional dilemma at the end… HE’S LITERALLY BEING TOLD “HEY, JHUMAR! WANNA SIT BACK ON YOUR ASS WHILST MARK FIGHTS YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU MORE?! HERE’S THE PERFECT OPENING!”
7. The mood and tone here shifts too jarringly. The tone sounded like an LP at first, then turned into a melodrama with everything about HARRISON *shakes fist* and his “existential crisis”. Both of which felt forced. And of course, there’s Naughty Skeletons and Adorable Wolves. This feels like such an insult to a “character” that Mark actually had some time to get to know and instead he just completely forgets about because HARRISON *shakes fist* was so brilliant.
8. Lastly, there’s no humour to it. It thinks it’s grand and ground-breaking but it really isn’t. As a result it provides no enjoyment. The only reason most people watch let’s plays in general is because they think the commentator is humorous. Therefore you’re doing the equivalent of just uploading raw footage of someone’s play through of minecraft but with the audio muted. I’m not saying it has to be out and out hilarious, but at least make attempts at humour. It can be done whilst still maintaining a serious tone. For this check out End, Sorrows of the Seven Kingdoms (accessible via the minefic list) or even the Book of Dreams.
I’m sorry but I personally would recommend a complete return to the drawing board on this story and decide how to better implement the concept with a greater degree of thought, detail and originality. It’s not terrible by any means. It’s just disappointingly average and fails to deliver on its grandiose promises. 5/10
Like fantasy? Like Minecraft? Check out a blend of the two here! Fall and a Rise: A Vanillacraft Tale!
Let me first start off that I didn't have any backdoor plans for this series. I wasn't planning on a series at all. I started Season 1 with thinking of creating a Let's Play for myself to document my adventures. And to have any others interested in my story to ride along with me. That explains about half of your critiques. I wasn't trying to create the best writing. I wasn't trying to create a storyline. I was just playing Minecraft and writing nitbits at the end.
When Season 1 Part 2 came in (where Harrison is introduced), that is when the dramatic soap opera-esque tone begins to set in. I admit, I had OVERDONE the drama ever since. LOTS of drama I must confess. But that's entirely why I like it. It's so unrealistically dramatic that I laugh at myself sometimes. I know it may not resonate this way with others, but I hope there are and maybe will be.
1. Short. Indeed, they are short. Spelling errors? Indeed. Most of that was laziness to go back and change them. But once Season 2 came, I decided to incorporate the text into the pictures, and that required lots of editing. Once I had finished editing it, and found errors, it would be too much of a hassle to go back and re-edit them. Yes, I'm lazy.
2. I honestly didn't know this hadn't been done. I, of course, hope and am glad that there are other people who have created similar things. But at the time, I did not know. Sorry! And with the way tumblr was designed, it just wasn't easy to have the pictures coincide within the text, without the post looking funky.
3. Haha. I agree nothing happens in the story. Season 1 particularly was about Mark starting out, building things, getting to know the ropes, meeting Harrison, losing Harrison, dealing with Harrison, and leaving for Hell. It's a pretty generic plot and story I can say that. But I wanted it to be simple. Then Season 2 comes and Mark is surprised as to what Hell really was and retreats back for a final farewell. Returning back to Hell, he meets Jhumar, and with it, all of the drama that follows. SERIOUS EMOTIONAL DILEMMA CLIFFHANGER!
4. The plot IS ridiculous! Very generic. And that's the point. I'm not saying it is original, but it's as original as it gets.
5. As I've said, I wrote Season 1 as if it was a blog post. It did take me awhile to change my prose up a bit. But I feel as though it's improved, if not just a little, as the seasons progressed.
6. Mark was innocent. But he has progressed into this hard, but caring young man. As you can see, following the apocalypse, he's had no one since it happened. Harrison was his first real chance at a friend, and he's lost him. Harrison symbolizes his quick and unexpected loss for his family.
Jhumar symbolizes Mark's hope. All of these characters do not stand on their own, and they're not supposed. They're all supposed to accompany Mark because this is his story. Also I'm not sure if you understand what happened at the end. Jhumar is given a choice. To either have the villagers help him find his family and leave WizMark behind, or have ONLY WizMark help him find his family.
7. Hands down, I was not looking for humor. I was looking for drama. But in itself, the ridiculousness of the overdone drama is hilarious!
In conclusion, I am not taking this story seriously. I also would like to admit that I was in middle school when I wrote this. I've gotten better at writing. Just not at writing Minecraft stories.
If anything, I strongly encourage you guys to read Season 3! It's the latest season anyways, and I'm really looking for your feedback on it!
Also, if you guys want to read something not Minecraft-related, and a more recently WELL-WRITTEN story, please read this one story and give me feedback on it (It's super short I promise.) I swear this redeems my lackluster Minecraft writing 5 million times over and over and over.
http://mrjmark.tumblr.com/post/81717681939/t-r-e-m-o-r
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Curse PremiumI wouldn't have given you serious feedback if I didn't think you were writing a serious story. Now I just feel like you've wasted my time.
If you feel like you need to persuade others why your story is good AFTER they've read the story, then you're doing it wrong.
*put on top hat and walks out door*
Like fantasy? Like Minecraft? Check out a blend of the two here! Fall and a Rise: A Vanillacraft Tale!
I'm sorry but reading this again, I'm just pissed off by this statement as I was at the time. This attitude is the reason fanfics like The Order of the Stone exist. (I hate bringing this up and feel like an asshole for constantly scape-goating Pointless but atm it's the best example I can think of) This statement shows a distinct lack of imagination, creativity and general awareness. We wouldn't be calling you out on originality if this were "original as it gets"!
No, this is the least original there is. Even Order of the Stone had some originality, throwing in a twister a few hundred ender-dragons and alternate universes. There are hundreds of examples of works that are so original you could read them and not even guess it was based on a video-game were you MC illiterate. I will now proceed to list original examples of Minefics off the top of my head to prove to you how braindead ignorant this statement is:
Book of Dreams.
Sorrows of the Seven Kingdoms
Before
My Wonderful Apprenticeship
End/Enderpeace
The Eternal Mine
How not to Survive
Gravity Bound
Dark Aether
Shadow of Skiamance
Vote4VC (I don't care that this was a total ****-take it's still shockingly original)
Four Broken Swords
Beyond the Void
Anything written by KotoroYoshida
The Chronicles of Minecraftia: Hero's Shadow
The Steve Chronicles
The RIFT Project
The Lesser Evil
Fall and A Rise: A Vanillacraft Tale (I know this is mine and it's not half as good as some of the stuff further up the list but you can't fault me for originality)
A look at any single one of these will show you that minefics can be so much more than a glorified let's play.
As for the "ah but it's **** anyway argument", confess that it's bad to begin with and try to sell it as an overdone drama. You just come across as a douche-bag. This is without mentioning that it's not over-done bad enough to garner hilarity. The best that could be mustered here was a dissatisfied grumble once we discovered that you'd tricked us. Rant finished.
*puts on second top-hat and close door just to walk out of it again.*
Like fantasy? Like Minecraft? Check out a blend of the two here! Fall and a Rise: A Vanillacraft Tale!