Thanks to those that provided input on the first excerpt I posted. This is the next scene that involves Minecraft. Please feel free to tear it apart. My goal is to make it accurate. Scene setup: Scott (a volatile computer hacker) is holding Jack and Cynthia (husband and wife) at gun point in their own home. Their oldest son, Michael, has been kidnapped by an unknown group. Their youngest son, Declan enters the room, unaware of what is happening.
“Mom, dad, I’m home. I’ll be upstairs playing Minecraft.”
“Sh**! Who the hell is that?” asked Scott as he tucked his gun in his waistband, out of sight.
“It’s our son.”
“You have another son?”
“Yes, please don’t…”
“Mom, what...oh.” Declan entered the room and stopped when he saw Scott.
There was a brief silence before Cynthia spoke. “Honey, this is Scott. He’s here to try to help us find Michael.”
“Hi,” said Declan.
“How are you doing?”
“Honey, please go upstairs until we finish talking to Scott.”
“Alright.”
“Wait,” said Scott. “Stay here.”
“Declan, please go upstairs.”
“Its okay, I think he should stay down here,” replied Scott.
“Mom?”
“So you play Minecraft?” asked Scott.
“Yes,” replied Declan.
“What’s your favorite world?”
“Right now it’s Waka Islands.”
“That’s a really good one. Have you ever tried Escape the Lab?”
“Not yet, but it looks really cool.”
“I helped build it.”
“You built Escape the Lab?” asked Declan.
“Yeah, me and some friends.”
“Awesome. My friends keep telling me I need to try it but I haven’t yet.”
“You should. We put a lot of work into it. It’s pretty cool.”
“That’s what my friends say.”
“Where’s your computer?” asked Scott. “Do you want me to show you a few Easter eggs in Escape the Lab?”
There are a lot of different Minecraft players out there. Some folks like minigames, some like adventure maps, some play mods, others just play straight-up vanilla, and so on. I'd recommend having Scott first ask Declan if he plays any adventure maps, and then ask what his favorite map is (the term "world" seems too vague without context).
The second point isn't quite a necessity, since "Escape the Lab" is a pretty generic title, but if you want to be super-kosher, you could try changing the name of the map that Scott made to something entirely fictional (i.e. doesn't come up in a Google search).
“Mom, dad, I’m home. I’ll be upstairs playing Minecraft.”
“Sh**! Who the hell is that?” asked Scott as he tucked his gun in his waistband, out of sight.
“It’s our son.”
“You have another son?”
“Yes, please don’t…”
“Mom, what...oh.” Declan entered the room and stopped when he saw Scott.
There was a brief silence before Cynthia spoke. “Honey, this is Scott. He’s here to try to help us find Michael.”
“Hi,” said Declan.
“How are you doing?”
“Honey, please go upstairs until we finish talking to Scott.”
“Alright.”
“Wait,” said Scott. “Stay here.”
“Declan, please go upstairs.”
“Its okay, I think he should stay down here,” replied Scott.
“Mom?”
“So you play Minecraft?” asked Scott.
“Yes,” replied Declan.
“What’s your favorite world?”
“Right now it’s Waka Islands.”
“That’s a really good one. Have you ever tried Escape the Lab?”
“Not yet, but it looks really cool.”
“I helped build it.”
“You built Escape the Lab?” asked Declan.
“Yeah, me and some friends.”
“Awesome. My friends keep telling me I need to try it but I haven’t yet.”
“You should. We put a lot of work into it. It’s pretty cool.”
“That’s what my friends say.”
“Where’s your computer?” asked Scott. “Do you want me to show you a few Easter eggs in Escape the Lab?”
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Curse PremiumThe second point isn't quite a necessity, since "Escape the Lab" is a pretty generic title, but if you want to be super-kosher, you could try changing the name of the map that Scott made to something entirely fictional (i.e. doesn't come up in a Google search).
Other than that, looks fine to me.