first time writing a story on this site hope you like it, its simple and short but still. feedback is appreciated, thank you. not the final version, more to come in the future
Chapter I
Steve wakes up to a snorting sound next to him. he looks to the right and sees a pig, staring at him. "hi pig" he says, waiting for an answer, even though he knows he will not get any.
Steve has been living in this lonely world for 1 month, what may explain his need for talking with other people. It's a huge world, with nothing but random animals and monsters that spawn at night.
Steve still remembers his first day in this world. That day... maybe one of the worst in his whole life.
But what life is this?
Steve is aware that there's another world, a world where things are not made of blocks, a world he used to live in until... until something happened. And now here he is, trying to survive in this hostile, blocky world.
Back to the mundane tasks. Steve doesn't have time to think about the past. Time to move on, maybe he will get out of this world one day.
Maybe.
"I need to get food", he says. His last supplies are over, and he needs to find something to eat before sunset.
He grabs his shove, pickaxe, axe and sword from a chest, and goes out on his quest (that's a lot of rhyming).
His wheat farm is scarce, not enough to provide Steve with all the food he needs. He learned how to plant and harvest food not long ago, hence his low farming skills.
Steve leaves his simple wooden house. It's not big, but it's comfy to accommodate a single person. It's the same house he built in his first day in this creepy world, and it's where he's been living since then.
It's 2 o' clock. The sun's burning and everything is quiet, as usual. A herd of cows can be seen from a distance. That's where Steve is heading to. "Meat!" he thinks.
As he approaches the herd, an unveiling desert is now visible to his left. But something draws Steve's attention: a small, village-like area in the middle of the desert.
Steve doesn't like to go out and explore stuff. He only goes as far as needed to find food or gather other resources. And this desert is a place he has never been to. But this village... what is that?
He decides to explore that area. It's the first time he sees a house, other than his own. Maybe, there are people living there? People!
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chapter 2 will be out soon thank you for reading
You should probably use spoilers for your chapters.
i.e
[spoiler='spoiler!']CONTENT?[/spoiler]
CONTENT?
Other than that good start, though I would make your chapters longer...
You are at 412 words and 40 sentences... When you line that up with standard manuscript format(250 words per page.) That is right at 1 1/2 pages. Also your story could have a lot more detail.
Steve wakes up to a snorting sound next to him. He looks to the right and sees a pig, staring at him. (Pretend your reader doesn't know what a pig looks like... Describe it a bit, can be useful to impart drastic differences from a contemporary fan fiction. [i.e Armored, Zombie, Bone pig.])
"hi pig" he says, waiting for an answer, even though he knows he will not get any.(You can go just a bit more in depth here... Though not completely needed.)
Steve has been living in this lonely world for 1 month, what may explain his need for talking with other people. It's a huge world, with nothing but random animals and monsters that spawn at night.
Steve still remembers his first day in this world. That day... maybe one of the worst in his whole life.
But what life is this?(Possibly flashback time.)
Steve is aware that there's another world, a world where things are not made of blocks, a world he used to live in until... until something happened. And now here he is, trying to survive in this hostile, blocky world.(Definitely flashback time.)
Back to the mundane tasks. Steve doesn't have time to think about the past. Time to move on, maybe he will get out of this world one day.(Why doesn't he have time? He just woke up...)
Chapter I
Steve wakes up to a snorting sound next to him. he looks to the right and sees a pig, staring at him. "hi pig" he says, waiting for an answer, even though he knows he will not get any.
Steve has been living in this lonely world for 1 month, what may explain his need for talking with other people. It's a huge world, with nothing but random animals and monsters that spawn at night.
Steve still remembers his first day in this world. That day... maybe one of the worst in his whole life.
But what life is this?
Steve is aware that there's another world, a world where things are not made of blocks, a world he used to live in until... until something happened. And now here he is, trying to survive in this hostile, blocky world.
Back to the mundane tasks. Steve doesn't have time to think about the past. Time to move on, maybe he will get out of this world one day.
Maybe.
"I need to get food", he says. His last supplies are over, and he needs to find something to eat before sunset.
He grabs his shove, pickaxe, axe and sword from a chest, and goes out on his quest (that's a lot of rhyming).
His wheat farm is scarce, not enough to provide Steve with all the food he needs. He learned how to plant and harvest food not long ago, hence his low farming skills.
Steve leaves his simple wooden house. It's not big, but it's comfy to accommodate a single person. It's the same house he built in his first day in this creepy world, and it's where he's been living since then.
It's 2 o' clock. The sun's burning and everything is quiet, as usual. A herd of cows can be seen from a distance. That's where Steve is heading to. "Meat!" he thinks.
As he approaches the herd, an unveiling desert is now visible to his left. But something draws Steve's attention: a small, village-like area in the middle of the desert.
Steve doesn't like to go out and explore stuff. He only goes as far as needed to find food or gather other resources. And this desert is a place he has never been to. But this village... what is that?
He decides to explore that area. It's the first time he sees a house, other than his own. Maybe, there are people living there? People!
------------------------------------------
chapter 2 will be out soon thank you for reading
My fan fiction of the game: http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/1957118-programmer-my-first-fan-fiction/#entry24096758
i.e
Other than that good start, though I would make your chapters longer...
"hi pig" he says, waiting for an answer, even though he knows he will not get any.(You can go just a bit more in depth here... Though not completely needed.)
Steve has been living in this lonely world for 1 month, what may explain his need for talking with other people. It's a huge world, with nothing but random animals and monsters that spawn at night.
Steve still remembers his first day in this world. That day... maybe one of the worst in his whole life.
But what life is this?(Possibly flashback time.)
Steve is aware that there's another world, a world where things are not made of blocks, a world he used to live in until... until something happened. And now here he is, trying to survive in this hostile, blocky world.(Definitely flashback time.)
Back to the mundane tasks. Steve doesn't have time to think about the past. Time to move on, maybe he will get out of this world one day.(Why doesn't he have time? He just woke up...)