Yo.
Some of you may recognize me writing 'The Village Down South' but I've realize it would never be good with my current writing skills. So then, every once in a while, I might come up with tiny ideas and I construct stories from them. Cool reviews are appreciated. Thanks~
All short stories are seperated by different threads. If this is not allowed, please speak up. Thanks much.
Smiley faces and hope you enjoy!
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The sun was already high up in the sky. Birds chirpped merrily, singing a melody of their own. The bright green trees sway with the breeze. The forest is at its most peaceful state. Somewhere in it, an elegant wooden house located. Old and weak after years of shelter. Cracks decorate the walls. Parts of the walls appear new, repaired due to damage. The color of the fresh wood already blurred away into a darker tone.
The door creaked open and an elderly man stood before it. He moved his legs slowly to the green floor, breathing in fresh air. An old wolf followed behind him, his head hanging. The man turned around to face the wolf, Lucario as he named him. He crouched to meet the eyes of the wolf. Lucario remained still, peering into his master's blue eyes. The man smiled lightly and patted the wolf's head. Lucario closed his eyes, enjoying the touch of his master.
The man stood and turned to face the forest path ahead of him. He moved forward slowly with Lucario following behind.
"It's been so long."
Lucario looked up to be greeted by his master's smile. They continued walking in silence, like they always do. The two have walked this path for years from since they first met in a battle. Their relations never blossomed that well unlike the others but the man always felt that he had a bond with the wolf. They never fought but never left. They had each other's backs.
The man lifted his right arm as he walks slowly. He examined the scar that was embedded on it. It was found when fighting against the enderdragon. Had Lucario not pushed the man out of the way, his life would end just like that. Had Lucario not pushed the man out of the enderdragon's claws, his whole body would be scarred rather than his arm.
Lucario kept looking at his master's thoughtful face. He knows that face anywhere. As if the wolf's stare can be felt, he looked to face Lucario. In the wolf's eyes, there lies desire. A desire not for gluttony. But a desire for time. He wanted more time.
For what?
The wolf let out a yelp as if responding to the man's question. The man realized his legs weren't moving. He pressed onwards, the wolf following close.
The sky was dyed in an orange- red color as the sun is seen setting in the direction ahead of them. The man covered his mouth, coughing violently. He fell onto his knees as pain surged from his throat. Lucario whined at the terrible sight, approaching his master. The man felt weak, not conquering the strong body he used to have back then. Lucario kept pushing his head against his master's weak body repeatedly, urging him to stand.
Understanding the wolf, the man struggled to pushed himself up. His weak legs shake under the weight. Lucario tried to support the man by continuous pushing. He finally stood and began walking. Only by now did he realize, his vision is blurring by the second. It takes more effort to move every step.
Lucario, by instincts, picked up a long stick under a tree and gave it to his master. The man's heart felt lighter, seeing Lucario pushing himself to help the man. He accepted the stick as a support to walk. Lucario let his tongue out, panting just from carrying the stick.
The sky darkens as the sun sets slowly in the horizon. The forest grew silent as the birds retreat to their nests. The night wind sounded the dusk, swaying the trees as it past. Lucario looked around himself, frightened by the dark environment. The tree branches appear as hands crawling for them. The swaying trees appear alive in the dark. Right ahead of them, the forest path comes to an end, and so are the trees.
The man exits the forest in a slow walk. He took his last step before tossing away the stick and sitting down, cross-legged. Lucario lied beside his master, appreciating the scenery before them.
They are on the edge of a cliff, the town on the lands below appear miniscule from up here. The distant mountains, large and mighty, appear as guardians. The sun setting already, behind the guardian mountains.
"We were too late."
Lucario's ear raised to the voice, his head too weary to move anymore.
"I'm sorry, Lucario."
The wolf opened his eyes, admiring the scene one last time. The man let his body rests on the green grass, his hands on his stomache. The man looks up to the night sky, beautifully decorated by the stars. The sun sinks to the horizon, tainting the sky in black. The wolf stands up weakly, turning only to face his master. The man lifted his head, his mouth curving into a weak grin. The wolf rests his head on the man's body, closing his eyes.
The man placed his hands on the wolf's head. As they lie there, memories quickly flash before them. Visions of the pasts, memories forged and remembered by them, lands crossed by them. The man's eyes grew teary as he remembered every single moment he had with the wolf.
"He's not that bad after all."
The man said weakly to no one in particular. The night wind breezed past again, sending shivers down the man's body.
A whine can be heard from the wolf. From Lucario. And that sound he made, was the last the man heard. The wolf's tail rested on the ground, never moving. A tear rolls down the man's cheek as he gaze upon the sky. That was then, he realized what the wolf's eyes meant.
Lucario... I wonder where that's from. Also, great job on the short story.
Only one thing I would like to comment on. You keep switching from present tense to past tense which is a bit confusing. This only works if it isn't noticeable, but I noticed. All that I'm saying is that you should either stay on one or be subtle with the switch.
Some of you may recognize me writing 'The Village Down South' but I've realize it would never be good with my current writing skills. So then, every once in a while, I might come up with tiny ideas and I construct stories from them. Cool reviews are appreciated. Thanks~
All short stories are seperated by different threads. If this is not allowed, please speak up. Thanks much.
Smiley faces and hope you enjoy!
The sun was already high up in the sky. Birds chirpped merrily, singing a melody of their own. The bright green trees sway with the breeze. The forest is at its most peaceful state. Somewhere in it, an elegant wooden house located. Old and weak after years of shelter. Cracks decorate the walls. Parts of the walls appear new, repaired due to damage. The color of the fresh wood already blurred away into a darker tone.
The door creaked open and an elderly man stood before it. He moved his legs slowly to the green floor, breathing in fresh air. An old wolf followed behind him, his head hanging. The man turned around to face the wolf, Lucario as he named him. He crouched to meet the eyes of the wolf. Lucario remained still, peering into his master's blue eyes. The man smiled lightly and patted the wolf's head. Lucario closed his eyes, enjoying the touch of his master.
The man stood and turned to face the forest path ahead of him. He moved forward slowly with Lucario following behind.
"It's been so long."
Lucario looked up to be greeted by his master's smile. They continued walking in silence, like they always do. The two have walked this path for years from since they first met in a battle. Their relations never blossomed that well unlike the others but the man always felt that he had a bond with the wolf. They never fought but never left. They had each other's backs.
The man lifted his right arm as he walks slowly. He examined the scar that was embedded on it. It was found when fighting against the enderdragon. Had Lucario not pushed the man out of the way, his life would end just like that. Had Lucario not pushed the man out of the enderdragon's claws, his whole body would be scarred rather than his arm.
Lucario kept looking at his master's thoughtful face. He knows that face anywhere. As if the wolf's stare can be felt, he looked to face Lucario. In the wolf's eyes, there lies desire. A desire not for gluttony. But a desire for time. He wanted more time.
For what?
The wolf let out a yelp as if responding to the man's question. The man realized his legs weren't moving. He pressed onwards, the wolf following close.
The sky was dyed in an orange- red color as the sun is seen setting in the direction ahead of them. The man covered his mouth, coughing violently. He fell onto his knees as pain surged from his throat. Lucario whined at the terrible sight, approaching his master. The man felt weak, not conquering the strong body he used to have back then. Lucario kept pushing his head against his master's weak body repeatedly, urging him to stand.
Understanding the wolf, the man struggled to pushed himself up. His weak legs shake under the weight. Lucario tried to support the man by continuous pushing. He finally stood and began walking. Only by now did he realize, his vision is blurring by the second. It takes more effort to move every step.
Lucario, by instincts, picked up a long stick under a tree and gave it to his master. The man's heart felt lighter, seeing Lucario pushing himself to help the man. He accepted the stick as a support to walk. Lucario let his tongue out, panting just from carrying the stick.
The sky darkens as the sun sets slowly in the horizon. The forest grew silent as the birds retreat to their nests. The night wind sounded the dusk, swaying the trees as it past. Lucario looked around himself, frightened by the dark environment. The tree branches appear as hands crawling for them. The swaying trees appear alive in the dark. Right ahead of them, the forest path comes to an end, and so are the trees.
The man exits the forest in a slow walk. He took his last step before tossing away the stick and sitting down, cross-legged. Lucario lied beside his master, appreciating the scenery before them.
They are on the edge of a cliff, the town on the lands below appear miniscule from up here. The distant mountains, large and mighty, appear as guardians. The sun setting already, behind the guardian mountains.
"We were too late."
Lucario's ear raised to the voice, his head too weary to move anymore.
"I'm sorry, Lucario."
The wolf opened his eyes, admiring the scene one last time. The man let his body rests on the green grass, his hands on his stomache. The man looks up to the night sky, beautifully decorated by the stars. The sun sinks to the horizon, tainting the sky in black. The wolf stands up weakly, turning only to face his master. The man lifted his head, his mouth curving into a weak grin. The wolf rests his head on the man's body, closing his eyes.
The man placed his hands on the wolf's head. As they lie there, memories quickly flash before them. Visions of the pasts, memories forged and remembered by them, lands crossed by them. The man's eyes grew teary as he remembered every single moment he had with the wolf.
"He's not that bad after all."
The man said weakly to no one in particular. The night wind breezed past again, sending shivers down the man's body.
A whine can be heard from the wolf. From Lucario. And that sound he made, was the last the man heard. The wolf's tail rested on the ground, never moving. A tear rolls down the man's cheek as he gaze upon the sky. That was then, he realized what the wolf's eyes meant.
Only one thing I would like to comment on. You keep switching from present tense to past tense which is a bit confusing. This only works if it isn't noticeable, but I noticed. All that I'm saying is that you should either stay on one or be subtle with the switch.
Other than that, great job!
Seems like I have some...
But I'll work on it. Thanks for the feedback.