The village of Iskiman is a peaceful place. Surrounded by a natural wall of forested hills, the town is generally undisturbed by monsters. Sure there is the occasional zombie siege, but the local militia is well equipped and prepared to defend the town. According to the latest survey, the town is home to forty three men, women, and children. Bu this story is not about them, this story is about a young hermit named Imp. Nobody knows where Imp came from, nor his actual name. He is called Imp because he is unusually short in stature. While most full-grown Minecraftians measure at exactly thirty two pixels high, Imp, at the ripe age of twenty one, comes in at twenty nine pixels. For years, rumors have spread that Imp is, depending on who you ask, a vampire, a griefer, an evil wizard, etcetera and etcetera. For this reason, Imp is unemployable. Instead, Imp makes a living by stealing. Don't get me wrong, imp is no criminal. The people of Iskiman are prosperous and wealthy, they can spare some food. Imp only takes what he needs to get by; foodstuffs mostly. Iskiman houses are tall structures made primarily of wood and cobblestone. The height of the house depends on the wealth of the owner. It is common practice in Iskiman to put their storage chests on the upper floors to reduce the risk of visitors stealing items unnoticed. Because of his small, nimble body, this actually works in Imp's favor. He can free-run along rooftops with ease, slip into the two and a half block high windows, take what he needs, and get out via the balcony. Contrary to what the rumors say, Imp is actually quite a likable guy, if not a little paranoid. Imp thinks that no matter the situation, something will always go wrong, and with good reason. Abandoned shortly after birth, he was found and raised by a employee of the C&D mining company, who was killed 9 years later when his team tunneled right under a pocket of gravel. After his adopted father's death, he was put in an orphanage where he was abused by the other children because of his size. Five years later, the orphanage was burned down by a fire caused by a band of griefers. The fire also took his fathers pick, the only item that the rescue team was able to find after the accident. Terrified and mentally scarred, he ran and didn't look back. He ran all the way into the unloaded chunks the residents of the kingdom called "The Wilderness" before collapsing in a swamp biome. He was then taken in by a witch named Seth. Seth nursed him back to health and taught him in the arts of brewing, enchanting, redstone, archery, and swordsmanship. After two years of training, Imp left Seth's hut to forge his own path in life. Loaded with provisions, Imp made his way back to the capital city of Desova. He hiked through perilous mountain biomes and hot jungle biomes for weeks, stoping only to sleep. When he got to the city, what he saw shocked him. While he was away, a civil war broke out destroying half of the kingdom. Desova was now a city of ruins, the houses in the residential district were burnt down save their stone brick foundations, pools of lava doted the street, and roofs hung in midair where walls used to support them. But most chilling of all, was the fact that there were no mobs in sight. Mobs can tell you a lot about a place. For instance: if the majority of the mobs in that region are skeletons, it signifies an excess of arsenic in the soil, or if creepers are the dominant night-time presences, it means that the area will get extremely humid in the warmer months. The fact that there were no mobs spawning in Desova, especially that late in the night, was a very bad sign, A general lack of mobs in an area is a result of mass bloodshed and murder of innocents. It has been seven years since that day. Imp has adopted a quiet life living in well-lit cabin overlooking the village of iskiman. This is where our story begins.
Please tell me what you think and inform me of any typos. I will post more as it is written.
Young Jimmy, what really counts are the views. The comments are used for feedback.
Also, do paragraphs. People tend to run away from wall of texts.
You almost got my name right. (it's Jesse)
I realize that the views count more than the comments but I would love some constructive criticism so I can improve my writing, like sugesting that I make paragraps instaid of just a wall of text. Thank you, that has improved my writing and I will make that change soon.
hey i liked your story but it's a bit cluttered you know, like scientist said above you could add some paragraphs and it would look a lot better but anyway, nice job so far and keep up with the good work
One thing that is odd about this story (for me atleast) is that you write that Imp steals but that he is not a criminal. I understand what your are trying to convey, but it just reads very awkward to me. Elaborating about this or simply changing it into something like "He steals, but he does not like stealing" (very badly worded example).
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TT2000, you are genius.
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The village of Iskiman is a peaceful place. Surrounded by a natural wall of forested hills, the town is generally undisturbed by monsters. Sure there is the occasional zombie siege, but the local militia is well equipped and prepared to defend the town. According to the latest survey, the town is home to forty three men, women, and children. Bu this story is not about them, this story is about a young hermit named Imp. Nobody knows where Imp came from, nor his actual name. He is called Imp because he is unusually short in stature. While most full-grown Minecraftians measure at exactly thirty two pixels high, Imp, at the ripe age of twenty one, comes in at twenty nine pixels. For years, rumors have spread that Imp is, depending on who you ask, a vampire, a griefer, an evil wizard, etcetera and etcetera. For this reason, Imp is unemployable. Instead, Imp makes a living by stealing. Don't get me wrong, imp is no criminal. The people of Iskiman are prosperous and wealthy, they can spare some food. Imp only takes what he needs to get by; foodstuffs mostly. Iskiman houses are tall structures made primarily of wood and cobblestone. The height of the house depends on the wealth of the owner. It is common practice in Iskiman to put their storage chests on the upper floors to reduce the risk of visitors stealing items unnoticed. Because of his small, nimble body, this actually works in Imp's favor. He can free-run along rooftops with ease, slip into the two and a half block high windows, take what he needs, and get out via the balcony. Contrary to what the rumors say, Imp is actually quite a likable guy, if not a little paranoid. Imp thinks that no matter the situation, something will always go wrong, and with good reason. Abandoned shortly after birth, he was found and raised by a employee of the C&D mining company, who was killed 9 years later when his team tunneled right under a pocket of gravel. After his adopted father's death, he was put in an orphanage where he was abused by the other children because of his size. Five years later, the orphanage was burned down by a fire caused by a band of griefers. The fire also took his fathers pick, the only item that the rescue team was able to find after the accident. Terrified and mentally scarred, he ran and didn't look back. He ran all the way into the unloaded chunks the residents of the kingdom called "The Wilderness" before collapsing in a swamp biome. He was then taken in by a witch named Seth. Seth nursed him back to health and taught him in the arts of brewing, enchanting, redstone, archery, and swordsmanship. After two years of training, Imp left Seth's hut to forge his own path in life. Loaded with provisions, Imp made his way back to the capital city of Desova. He hiked through perilous mountain biomes and hot jungle biomes for weeks, stoping only to sleep. When he got to the city, what he saw shocked him. While he was away, a civil war broke out destroying half of the kingdom. Desova was now a city of ruins, the houses in the residential district were burnt down save their stone brick foundations, pools of lava doted the street, and roofs hung in midair where walls used to support them. But most chilling of all, was the fact that there were no mobs in sight. Mobs can tell you a lot about a place. For instance: if the majority of the mobs in that region are skeletons, it signifies an excess of arsenic in the soil, or if creepers are the dominant night-time presences, it means that the area will get extremely humid in the warmer months. The fact that there were no mobs spawning in Desova, especially that late in the night, was a very bad sign, A general lack of mobs in an area is a result of mass bloodshed and murder of innocents. It has been seven years since that day. Imp has adopted a quiet life living in well-lit cabin overlooking the village of iskiman. This is where our story begins.
Please tell me what you think and inform me of any typos. I will post more as it is written.
[CENTER]
[CENTER]
Also, do paragraphs. People tend to run away from wall of texts.
TT2000, you are genius.
You almost got my name right. (it's Jesse)
I realize that the views count more than the comments but I would love some constructive criticism so I can improve my writing, like sugesting that I make paragraps instaid of just a wall of text. Thank you, that has improved my writing and I will make that change soon.
[CENTER]
TT2000, you are genius.