The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
8/6/2012
Posts:
247
Location:
Behind.... a screen...
Minecraft:
Synaxin
Member Details
Well, time to reach my quota of trying to apply a character in every one of your stories.
Name: (Self-explanatory) Sylimitri Gender: (yes, it has to be male or female) Male, kinda girly name to me though. Age: (permitted to be undetermined for zombies, zombie villagers, and NORMAL skeletons) Eh... 18 I guess. Mob Type:Human Bio: (must be at least three sentences long. No maximum to length) Sylimitri lived in a desolate spot in the Overworld, however, he lived alone for a long time, and knew how to take care of himself. He has a dog, which he named Ceberus, although it isn't a three headed dog, it did have some special powers, such as a very keen, keener than a wolves' senses, and he can see things from far away, and can sorta communicate with Sylimitri, or rather he has learned to understand him. (Back to the Bio) On the day he turned fifteen, a man came into his home, claiming to be his father. He baked a cake, and got ready for a meal, but before it was ready the man created a black-hole like entity, which warped him to a farther dimension. Inside of it, was a medium sized island, with a large temple like structure in it. He entered, and noticed that gravity was lighter, and he could jump farther. Navigating through the temple, he found a throne room, with an unidentifiable skeleton sitting in a magnificent golden throne, at the top of the throne was a glowing jewel, which was a darker blue than Lapiz Lazuli, and more beautiful than the finest diamond. He pried the gem from the throne, and when it hit the ground it broke, and inside was a spirit of pure light. The spirit merged with him, and he could now manipulate light. Inventory: (weapons, armor, other items. Nothing OP, though) An iron sword, some chain armor, half a stack of bread and melons, a few pumpkin pies, one enchanted golden apple, and 16 porkchops. (Have the golden apple save him from death at some point?) a diamond pickaxe, a few iron shocels and axes. Good or Evil: (Self-explanatory, but NO NEUTRALS!) Good. Powers/Abilities: (nothing OP. Endermen and Iron Golems are not permitted to have any special powers or abilities) Manipulating light, and turning into it at times, although he hasn't learned how to use it to it's full potential yet. Other: (anything important about your character that you haven't already given me information about) Although he doesn't wear good armor, he can hold his own in a fight, and can easily defeat a large group of skeletons and zombies by using them against themselves.
Well, time to reach my quota of trying to apply a character in every one of your stories.
Name: (Self-explanatory) Sylimitri Gender: (yes, it has to be male or female) Male, kinda girly name to me though. Age: (permitted to be undetermined for zombies, zombie villagers, and NORMAL skeletons) Eh... 18 I guess. Mob Type:Human Bio: (must be at least three sentences long. No maximum to length) Sylimitri lived in a desolate spot in the Overworld, however, he lived alone for a long time, and knew how to take care of himself. He has a dog, which he named Ceberus, although it isn't a three headed dog, it did have some special powers, such as a very keen, keener than a wolves' senses, and he can see things from far away, and can sorta communicate with Sylimitri, or rather he has learned to understand him. (Back to the Bio) On the day he turned fifteen, a man came into his home, claiming to be his father. He baked a cake, and got ready for a meal, but before it was ready the man created a black-hole like entity, which warped him to a farther dimension. Inside of it, was a medium sized island, with a large temple like structure in it. He entered, and noticed that gravity was lighter, and he could jump farther. Navigating through the temple, he found a throne room, with an unidentifiable skeleton sitting in a magnificent golden throne, at the top of the throne was a glowing jewel, which was a darker blue than Lapiz Lazuli, and more beautiful than the finest diamond. He pried the gem from the throne, and when it hit the ground it broke, and inside was a spirit of pure light. The spirit merged with him, and he could now manipulate light. Inventory: (weapons, armor, other items. Nothing OP, though) An iron sword, some chain armor, half a stack of bread and melons, a few pumpkin pies, one enchanted golden apple, and 16 porkchops. (Have the golden apple save him from death at some point?) a diamond pickaxe, a few iron shocels and axes. Good or Evil: (Self-explanatory, but NO NEUTRALS!) Good. Powers/Abilities: (nothing OP. Endermen and Iron Golems are not permitted to have any special powers or abilities) Manipulating light, and turning into it at times, although he hasn't learned how to use it to it's full potential yet. Other: (anything important about your character that you haven't already given me information about) Although he doesn't wear good armor, he can hold his own in a fight, and can easily defeat a large group of skeletons and zombies by using them against themselves.
Eh, The chapters feel a bit dry.
You rush into explaining his abilities really fast in the first one,
and in the second one you do the exact same thing with tantibus's history.
Ditto with Steve and his meager backstory...
No offense meant, just seems a bit dry and thrown together.
I appreciate the (slightly) constructive criticism. I'll try and improve on this. I will admit I am sort of rushing.
P.S. Aether Star is now turned into the Tantibus Chronicles, a series of four books (I KNOW IT'S NOT TECHNICALLY CHRONICLES BUT I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE!) all involving our favorite deranged pigman.
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Name: (Self-explanatory) Sylimitri
Gender: (yes, it has to be male or female) Male, kinda girly name to me though.
Age: (permitted to be undetermined for zombies, zombie villagers, and NORMAL skeletons) Eh... 18 I guess.
Mob Type:Human
Bio: (must be at least three sentences long. No maximum to length) Sylimitri lived in a desolate spot in the Overworld, however, he lived alone for a long time, and knew how to take care of himself. He has a dog, which he named Ceberus, although it isn't a three headed dog, it did have some special powers, such as a very keen, keener than a wolves' senses, and he can see things from far away, and can sorta communicate with Sylimitri, or rather he has learned to understand him. (Back to the Bio) On the day he turned fifteen, a man came into his home, claiming to be his father. He baked a cake, and got ready for a meal, but before it was ready the man created a black-hole like entity, which warped him to a farther dimension. Inside of it, was a medium sized island, with a large temple like structure in it. He entered, and noticed that gravity was lighter, and he could jump farther. Navigating through the temple, he found a throne room, with an unidentifiable skeleton sitting in a magnificent golden throne, at the top of the throne was a glowing jewel, which was a darker blue than Lapiz Lazuli, and more beautiful than the finest diamond. He pried the gem from the throne, and when it hit the ground it broke, and inside was a spirit of pure light. The spirit merged with him, and he could now manipulate light.
Inventory: (weapons, armor, other items. Nothing OP, though) An iron sword, some chain armor, half a stack of bread and melons, a few pumpkin pies, one enchanted golden apple, and 16 porkchops. (Have the golden apple save him from death at some point?) a diamond pickaxe, a few iron shocels and axes.
Good or Evil: (Self-explanatory, but NO NEUTRALS!) Good.
Powers/Abilities: (nothing OP. Endermen and Iron Golems are not permitted to have any special powers or abilities)
Manipulating light, and turning into it at times, although he hasn't learned how to use it to it's full potential yet.
Other: (anything important about your character that you haven't already given me information about) Although he doesn't wear good armor, he can hold his own in a fight, and can easily defeat a large group of skeletons and zombies by using them against themselves.
*Insert signature here*
P.S. Read Chapter Three!
You rush into explaining his abilities really fast in the first one,
and in the second one you do the exact same thing with tantibus's history.
Ditto with Steve and his meager backstory...
No offense meant, just seems a bit dry and thrown together.
P.S. Aether Star is now turned into the Tantibus Chronicles, a series of four books (I KNOW IT'S NOT TECHNICALLY CHRONICLES BUT I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE!) all involving our favorite deranged pigman.