In this story, the readers have much power. Suggest to me new characters, scenarios, and other cool stuff. Another feature, is that when either Zraia or the Wanderer get into a huge fight(AKA Boss Battle) I'll give details, so the readers can collaborate and use their ideas to win it! Other things you can do: When there's a fork in the path, readers can choose which path they will take, or when decided to save someone or to kill them, to take an item or not. It's up to the readers! I hope you enjoy! The info on the Gods can be found here.
Episode 1: Waking Up~~~~~
I slowly opened my eyes, seeing blue skies. As I look to my sides, I see the an ocean to one side, and a pathway on the other. I stand up, in pain, but it quickly subsides. I look to the ocean, and think to myself: "Where am I...? How did I get here?" I turn and walk down the path. The forest had slowly gotten more dense, and I could hear moaning and hissing in the darkness. I didn't have a sword, and I couldn't defend myself in the event of an attack. The path seemed old and broken, as if no one had repaired it for a long while. I come up to a crossroads, with a decrepit sign. "L-f- T----e, Ri-h- Jan-i -amp" I could barely decypher it. The second direction was more easily understandable, and since I felt I was being watched, I took that path. As I walked down the mossy path, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned, and nothing was there. I turned back, to find a Zombie nearly on top of me. I fell backwards, and it fell on top of me. As I thought I had met my premature end, I heard a slash. My attacker was dead, and a mysterious swordsman stood before me. They were clad in battered Golden Armor, with a beautiful blue sword. The armor was bulky, and seemed rather thick. Maybe a juggernaut of some sort? Their helm had no eye holes, yet they seemed to see just fine.
"I shall be your escort, young man."
The voice was devoid of emotion, and any way to tell their gender.
"What are you doing wandering alone?"
"I had just woken up on a beach, not far from here. I'm not sure how I got here."
"Hmm. Either way, we need to leave these woods, 'tis dangerous with the Bandits and Necromancers on the prowl. The Janni Camp is not far from here. It is safe, and you'll be able to prepare yourself."
We started to walk further into the dense, dark forest. Brush and small trees poked through the stone path, and every so often, my escort would hack down one or two that stood in our way.
"Why are these woods so dangerous?"
"Ever since Necromancers moved into the abandon guard tower to the east, monsters have wandered these woods. No one dares go near the tower, out of fear that it's guardian would destroy them. Even I fear to tread there."
As we walk farther, the forest seemed less dense. I saw more tree stumps and small buildings. There were warriors all over the place. Was there a battle going on? I looked into it farther, to see a crude barricade between the buildings and the forested areas. Sentry towers, warriors, healers, builders...All of those could be found defending the wall. We continued even farther down the path, with nothing much else to see. Then, around a mill, I saw a huge spire. As we approached closer, it revealed itself to be a Temple. But, to who? We reached the gates a few more boring minutes later. A crossbowman jumped up from behind the battlements, and yelled:
"Halt! Who goes there?!"
"Knight Zraia, with a wanderer."
"Zraia!? Please enter! The Mayor wishes to see you immediately!"
I didn't have the nerve to ask if they were female or male, as it seemed disrespectful. As we entered, I was instantly in the action: A marketplace, surrounded by houses, and a Temple. All of this was surrounded by a stone fence. The Knight removed their helmet to reveal a woman with silver hair, and a bandana over her eyes. She insisted she would not remove it. As we walked, she explained what was going on.
"As you may know, I am Zraia. I am one of the greatest swordsmen in the entire region. We are in the Janni Camp, a town for wanderers, warriors and other people who do not follow a God."
"God?"
"Yes. The Gods actually roam the lands, and have ever since the realm was made. I suggest you choose one, as they may help you in a time of need. Also, choosing a God would give you some support from your fellow followers."
"Who do I have to choose from?"
"There are many Gods. I shall list them, and their attributes: Tok-Dramae, the God of Peace; Tok-Harral, the God of Doom; Tok-Medasz, the God of Matter; Tok-Zephyz, the God of Life; Yzaar-Drakus, the Elder God of the Void; Yzaar-Takous, the Elder God of Creation; and Yzaar-Raptoris, the Elder God of Balance...Also, I forgot to ask, what is your name?"
Episode 2: Meeting the Gods~~~~~
"My name's Mikael. And I think I want to follow Yzaar-Raptoris."
"Alright, Mikael. Now I'll show you the Temple. You seemed quite interested in it on our way here."
We began walking toward the Temple, when Zraia heard a scream.
"It's in the lower town! Hurry!"
I had no clue where that was, so I followed. Soldiers were already here, fending off some huge Zombies, who broke through the wall.
"Mikael! Do you have a weapon?"
"No."
"Check the nearby supply hut, quickly!"
As she finished, she was already in combat. I rushed over to the hut, and saw an Orb and a Staff on one of the tables, so I grabbed them. I rushed back into the battlefield, and aimed my spell at the center of the enemy horde. I cast it and the Zombies crumbled, and a bunch of little white sparkles flew into my Staff. As I was examining the Staff, I heard another scream. It was a little girl who had been cornered by a ton of Zombies. Zraia was already on the case, but I decided to help out. I once again cast my spell and most of them crumbled. Zraia took down the last few, and carried the girl away.
"Dark Magic is forbidden here!"
Those were the last words I heard. I woke up, and noticed a bump on the back of my head. I looked around...I was in a prison cell. I heard faint voices, coming from down the hall, getting closer.
"Yea, he's there. Cell 16."
I was hoping it was Zraia, but to my disappointment, it was the Guard Captain.
"So, you're the one who was practicing necromancy. You should know that it's not allowed here."
"But, I just got to thi-"
"SILENCE! You have no right to argue with me. I know why you're here. You're here to help those blasted Zombies get in to our town!"
"If you'd just listen-"
"I SAID SILENCE! You'll be seen in trial before the mighty Tok-Dramae tomorrow afternoon. I suggest you enjoy your last day."
I was terrified. I thought Dramae was the God of Peace. I thought he accepted everyone...I looked around, and saw my gear on a table across the hall. I decided to go to sleep, since there was nothing else to do.
-Later that night-
I woke up, late in the night. I woke to the sound of Swords clashing.
"Come on! Break the door down!"
"One! Two! Three! Put some shoulder into it!"
The door shattered into pieces, and three people ran in. They ran past my cell, and one of them cast a fire spell on the hinges of cell 23.
"Wait! Help me!"
"Zeo, whos' that?"
"Some guy. I haven't heard about any new people in the town..."
"He is Mikael. He was imprisoned for necromancy."
"Shut up, knowitall. Why should we release you?"
"Mikael wants to leave because his trial is tomorrow, and he will not win."
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"
"Come on, Zeo, just help the guy out. He might be a useful addition to our troop."
There was a long awkward silence, and I imagine they were just staring at each other.
"Fine. Open it up."
They burnt off the hinges, and we rushed to the end of the corridor. Guards rushed in the broken door, and the crossbowmen wasted no time firing at us right away. I thought it was over. I would have rather died in the trial. Then I heard someone walking around on the roof above us. I heard some banging sounds, and finally the person broke in. I couldn't tell what they looked like, but whoever it was, they were very good with a Sword. After the fgure took down all of the Guards, they spoke with a distorted voice:
"Move it!"
The figure charged a spell, and fired it at the wall we were pinned against. The blast shook the entire corridor, and all six of us rushed out the hole. I thought we made it, but no. We were in the entry hall, with all of the Guards blocking the way.
"Mikael, go grab your items! We've got a battle before us!"
"You all have two choices. You can surrender, and you'll all be killed in trial, or you can fight and you'll all die anyways."
As the figure answered, I got back.
"You lot of two choices! Move out of the way and let us walk, or face my Sword!"
"Fine. Ready! Aim and FIR-"
The Guard Captain's head fell to the ground, and the figure was in the doorway. Most of the other Guards ran, except for one: A Juggernaut.
"Have fun Mikael!"
The four ran down the nearby corridors.
"Mikael, you have been much trouble to this town. I cannot let you leave. I did not want it to come to this."
At that, he took a huge warhammer off of his back. I jumped back, and prepared my spell, but he smashed the ground with the hammer, and a rocky spike came from the ground and slashed my back. My Orb changed from a black-ish blue color, to a blood red color. The Staff felt lighter, and the skull started to glow. Once again I attempted to cast my spell, and it worked. A huge slash went through the air, and through one of the Juggernaut's arms. It fell to the gound, and was absorbed by my Staff. He pulled out a one handed Sword, and began charging blindly at me. I smacked his helmet, which seemed to affect him. I kicked him backwards, and shot an ethereal skull at him.
"It did not have to come to this..."
He exploded into a pool of blood and bones, and my Staff absorbed the remains. I felt sorry for him. I didn't want to kill him...I walked out of the prison, where the figure waited. The sun had just begun to rise over the trees.
"Who are you?"
"What, Mikael? You don't remember me?"
The light from the sun shone on the figure. Battered Golden Armor, and a beautiful blue Sword. It was Zraia.
"I can't believe they imprisoned you the day you come to town. As much as it pains me to do so, I must report this to the Mayor.That doesn't mean I'm leaving you. We must go to the Temple."
We snuck to the Temple to avoid any Guards on patrol. We walked inside, and Zraia closed the doors behind us. All that stood before us was a huge crystal, surrounded by a ring of candles. I saw something inside the crystal...What looked like a man in robes sitting on the ground. Zraia whispered to me:
"Bow to him! This is Tok-Dramae!"
I bowed, and he opened his glowing white eyes.
"Ahh. Mikael. I've been expecting you. You've caused great panic in this town. However, this is not your fault. My laws do forbid Dark Magic here, but, you were unaware. Your imprisonment was faulty. Thus, I forgive you. Now, is there anything you wish to ask?"
Should Mikael go alone, and see other towns, should he stay with Zraia, or should he help the Zombies take over the town? Decide in the Poll above!
The concept for this is interesting; it kind of reminds me of a "choose your own adventure" story. A few things I recommend are to have different paragraphs to separate dialog and ideas, and to have some more description to describe the characters and the surroundings, so that it's easier to understand what's going on.
The concept for this is interesting; it kind of reminds me of a "choose your own adventure" story. A few things I recommend are to have different paragraphs to separate dialog and ideas, and to have some more description to describe the characters and the surroundings, so that it's easier to understand what's going on.
I understand this. Thanks for the feedback. However, it may take some time. Again thanks for the feedback!
Nice beginning, interesting idea for having it controlled by your reader. Though not original, interesting...
Not original? I don't understand what you refer to. Is it the overall idea?
While I have been getting some AWESOME feedback, our main character still needs a name, a God to follow, and a battle style. If you two can contribute to that, I would be grateful.
Not original? I don't understand what you refer to. Is it the overall idea?
While I have been getting some AWESOME feedback, our main character still needs a name, a God to follow, and a battle style. If you two can contribute to that, I would be grateful.
The overall idea of letting your readers do the work for you. I say he must follow Zamorack since i follow Guthix and we can have an epic battle!.
I don't understand your gods names so i voted randomly. Googling now...
Nothing on either of the prefixs so we can't really vote without knowing what we are voting for. Can we?
I thought the very short description was enough. Sorry. These are not Runescape Gods, by the way. (Lol)
They're Gods from my actual Lore. If you want, I will add a long description of each.
~I'll just do it anyways, since you brought it up.
~I will make another thread, since it would clutter this one up. I'll link it at the top of the page.
I thought the very short description was enough. Sorry. These are not Runescape Gods, by the way. (Lol)
They're Gods from my actual Lore. If you want, I will add a long description of each.
~I'll just do it anyways, since you brought it up.
~I will make another thread, since it would clutter this one up. I'll link it at the top of the page.
Episode 1: Waking Up~~~~~
I slowly opened my eyes, seeing blue skies. As I look to my sides, I see the an ocean to one side, and a pathway on the other. I stand up, in pain, but it quickly subsides. I look to the ocean, and think to myself: "Where am I...? How did I get here?" I turn and walk down the path. The forest had slowly gotten more dense, and I could hear moaning and hissing in the darkness. I didn't have a sword, and I couldn't defend myself in the event of an attack. The path seemed old and broken, as if no one had repaired it for a long while. I come up to a crossroads, with a decrepit sign. "L-f- T----e, Ri-h- Jan-i -amp" I could barely decypher it. The second direction was more easily understandable, and since I felt I was being watched, I took that path. As I walked down the mossy path, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned, and nothing was there. I turned back, to find a Zombie nearly on top of me. I fell backwards, and it fell on top of me. As I thought I had met my premature end, I heard a slash. My attacker was dead, and a mysterious swordsman stood before me. They were clad in battered Golden Armor, with a beautiful blue sword. The armor was bulky, and seemed rather thick. Maybe a juggernaut of some sort? Their helm had no eye holes, yet they seemed to see just fine.
"I shall be your escort, young man."
The voice was devoid of emotion, and any way to tell their gender.
"What are you doing wandering alone?"
"I had just woken up on a beach, not far from here. I'm not sure how I got here."
"Hmm. Either way, we need to leave these woods, 'tis dangerous with the Bandits and Necromancers on the prowl. The Janni Camp is not far from here. It is safe, and you'll be able to prepare yourself."
We started to walk further into the dense, dark forest. Brush and small trees poked through the stone path, and every so often, my escort would hack down one or two that stood in our way.
"Why are these woods so dangerous?"
"Ever since Necromancers moved into the abandon guard tower to the east, monsters have wandered these woods. No one dares go near the tower, out of fear that it's guardian would destroy them. Even I fear to tread there."
As we walk farther, the forest seemed less dense. I saw more tree stumps and small buildings. There were warriors all over the place. Was there a battle going on? I looked into it farther, to see a crude barricade between the buildings and the forested areas. Sentry towers, warriors, healers, builders...All of those could be found defending the wall. We continued even farther down the path, with nothing much else to see. Then, around a mill, I saw a huge spire. As we approached closer, it revealed itself to be a Temple. But, to who? We reached the gates a few more boring minutes later. A crossbowman jumped up from behind the battlements, and yelled:
"Halt! Who goes there?!"
"Knight Zraia, with a wanderer."
"Zraia!? Please enter! The Mayor wishes to see you immediately!"
I didn't have the nerve to ask if they were female or male, as it seemed disrespectful. As we entered, I was instantly in the action: A marketplace, surrounded by houses, and a Temple. All of this was surrounded by a stone fence. The Knight removed their helmet to reveal a woman with silver hair, and a bandana over her eyes. She insisted she would not remove it. As we walked, she explained what was going on.
"As you may know, I am Zraia. I am one of the greatest swordsmen in the entire region. We are in the Janni Camp, a town for wanderers, warriors and other people who do not follow a God."
"God?"
"Yes. The Gods actually roam the lands, and have ever since the realm was made. I suggest you choose one, as they may help you in a time of need. Also, choosing a God would give you some support from your fellow followers."
"Who do I have to choose from?"
"There are many Gods. I shall list them, and their attributes: Tok-Dramae, the God of Peace; Tok-Harral, the God of Doom; Tok-Medasz, the God of Matter; Tok-Zephyz, the God of Life; Yzaar-Drakus, the Elder God of the Void; Yzaar-Takous, the Elder God of Creation; and Yzaar-Raptoris, the Elder God of Balance...Also, I forgot to ask, what is your name?"
Episode 2: Meeting the Gods~~~~~
"My name's Mikael. And I think I want to follow Yzaar-Raptoris."
"Alright, Mikael. Now I'll show you the Temple. You seemed quite interested in it on our way here."
We began walking toward the Temple, when Zraia heard a scream.
"It's in the lower town! Hurry!"
I had no clue where that was, so I followed. Soldiers were already here, fending off some huge Zombies, who broke through the wall.
"Mikael! Do you have a weapon?"
"No."
"Check the nearby supply hut, quickly!"
As she finished, she was already in combat. I rushed over to the hut, and saw an Orb and a Staff on one of the tables, so I grabbed them. I rushed back into the battlefield, and aimed my spell at the center of the enemy horde. I cast it and the Zombies crumbled, and a bunch of little white sparkles flew into my Staff. As I was examining the Staff, I heard another scream. It was a little girl who had been cornered by a ton of Zombies. Zraia was already on the case, but I decided to help out. I once again cast my spell and most of them crumbled. Zraia took down the last few, and carried the girl away.
"Dark Magic is forbidden here!"
Those were the last words I heard. I woke up, and noticed a bump on the back of my head. I looked around...I was in a prison cell. I heard faint voices, coming from down the hall, getting closer.
"Yea, he's there. Cell 16."
I was hoping it was Zraia, but to my disappointment, it was the Guard Captain.
"So, you're the one who was practicing necromancy. You should know that it's not allowed here."
"But, I just got to thi-"
"SILENCE! You have no right to argue with me. I know why you're here. You're here to help those blasted Zombies get in to our town!"
"If you'd just listen-"
"I SAID SILENCE! You'll be seen in trial before the mighty Tok-Dramae tomorrow afternoon. I suggest you enjoy your last day."
I was terrified. I thought Dramae was the God of Peace. I thought he accepted everyone...I looked around, and saw my gear on a table across the hall. I decided to go to sleep, since there was nothing else to do.
-Later that night-
I woke up, late in the night. I woke to the sound of Swords clashing.
"Come on! Break the door down!"
"One! Two! Three! Put some shoulder into it!"
The door shattered into pieces, and three people ran in. They ran past my cell, and one of them cast a fire spell on the hinges of cell 23.
"Wait! Help me!"
"Zeo, whos' that?"
"Some guy. I haven't heard about any new people in the town..."
"He is Mikael. He was imprisoned for necromancy."
"Shut up, knowitall. Why should we release you?"
"Mikael wants to leave because his trial is tomorrow, and he will not win."
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"
"Come on, Zeo, just help the guy out. He might be a useful addition to our troop."
There was a long awkward silence, and I imagine they were just staring at each other.
"Fine. Open it up."
They burnt off the hinges, and we rushed to the end of the corridor. Guards rushed in the broken door, and the crossbowmen wasted no time firing at us right away. I thought it was over. I would have rather died in the trial. Then I heard someone walking around on the roof above us. I heard some banging sounds, and finally the person broke in. I couldn't tell what they looked like, but whoever it was, they were very good with a Sword. After the fgure took down all of the Guards, they spoke with a distorted voice:
"Move it!"
The figure charged a spell, and fired it at the wall we were pinned against. The blast shook the entire corridor, and all six of us rushed out the hole. I thought we made it, but no. We were in the entry hall, with all of the Guards blocking the way.
"Mikael, go grab your items! We've got a battle before us!"
"You all have two choices. You can surrender, and you'll all be killed in trial, or you can fight and you'll all die anyways."
As the figure answered, I got back.
"You lot of two choices! Move out of the way and let us walk, or face my Sword!"
"Fine. Ready! Aim and FIR-"
The Guard Captain's head fell to the ground, and the figure was in the doorway. Most of the other Guards ran, except for one: A Juggernaut.
"Have fun Mikael!"
The four ran down the nearby corridors.
"Mikael, you have been much trouble to this town. I cannot let you leave. I did not want it to come to this."
At that, he took a huge warhammer off of his back. I jumped back, and prepared my spell, but he smashed the ground with the hammer, and a rocky spike came from the ground and slashed my back. My Orb changed from a black-ish blue color, to a blood red color. The Staff felt lighter, and the skull started to glow. Once again I attempted to cast my spell, and it worked. A huge slash went through the air, and through one of the Juggernaut's arms. It fell to the gound, and was absorbed by my Staff. He pulled out a one handed Sword, and began charging blindly at me. I smacked his helmet, which seemed to affect him. I kicked him backwards, and shot an ethereal skull at him.
"It did not have to come to this..."
He exploded into a pool of blood and bones, and my Staff absorbed the remains. I felt sorry for him. I didn't want to kill him...I walked out of the prison, where the figure waited. The sun had just begun to rise over the trees.
"Who are you?"
"What, Mikael? You don't remember me?"
The light from the sun shone on the figure. Battered Golden Armor, and a beautiful blue Sword. It was Zraia.
"I can't believe they imprisoned you the day you come to town. As much as it pains me to do so, I must report this to the Mayor.That doesn't mean I'm leaving you. We must go to the Temple."
We snuck to the Temple to avoid any Guards on patrol. We walked inside, and Zraia closed the doors behind us. All that stood before us was a huge crystal, surrounded by a ring of candles. I saw something inside the crystal...What looked like a man in robes sitting on the ground. Zraia whispered to me:
"Bow to him! This is Tok-Dramae!"
I bowed, and he opened his glowing white eyes.
"Ahh. Mikael. I've been expecting you. You've caused great panic in this town. However, this is not your fault. My laws do forbid Dark Magic here, but, you were unaware. Your imprisonment was faulty. Thus, I forgive you. Now, is there anything you wish to ask?"
Should Mikael go alone, and see other towns, should he stay with Zraia, or should he help the Zombies take over the town? Decide in the Poll above!
Next Episode: A Mission for me and Zraia
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Curse PremiumI understand this. Thanks for the feedback. However, it may take some time. Again thanks for the feedback!
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Curse PremiumYou are welcome. Good luck.
Not original? I don't understand what you refer to. Is it the overall idea?
While I have been getting some AWESOME feedback, our main character still needs a name, a God to follow, and a battle style. If you two can contribute to that, I would be grateful.
I don't understand your gods names so i voted randomly. Googling now...
Nothing on either of the prefixs so we can't really vote without knowing what we are voting for. Can we?
They're Gods from my actual Lore. If you want, I will add a long description of each.
~I'll just do it anyways, since you brought it up.
~I will make another thread, since it would clutter this one up. I'll link it at the top of the page.
I like Runescape too! It was actually a combination of Runescape and Minecraft that gave me the idea for my Lore!
By the way, he still needs a name! Please, if you can/want, contribute and give our wanderer a name!