Enderheart is a story about Steve's son. It takes place years after Steve slayed the Ender Dragon. However, there are certain characters and creatures that were a part of Steve's adventures. Thanks to DreadMage for the title and a few ideas. I bring you... Enderheart!!!
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Prologue
Steve was walking along a gravel pathway. A field of grass surrounded him. He turned back and saw his average-sized, cobblestone house, fading into the distance after every step. Steve took a deep breath and kept walking. The bright, hot sun beat down on him like he was on fire.A herd of cows wandered to his right. A beautiful river flowed on his left. Life was perfect. There were no more horrible monsters. Everything was just fine.
Suddenly, a dark shape dashed towards him. Steve dodged, but he was too late. BOOM! Steve flew to the ground. Was that a creeper? Wait, there wasn't any familiar hissing noise."We meet again," said a disturbing voice.
"Herobrine?" Steve gasped. The scary white eyes stared back at him. Several blood-red scars covered his face and arms.
"Yes," He replied. "Now, it is time to die."
"No!" Steve yelled. Herobrine brought a shimmering diamond sword over his head. Steve begged for mercy. Then, the sword hit him. Steve felt nothing, though.
He jumped out of bed. It was a dream? No, it was more than that. It was a vision. Herobrine was back and he wanted Steve dead.
Chapter 1: Goodbye
Steve finished packing up his things. "Are you sure about this, Steve?" his friend Jacob asked. Steve looked up to see sad, blue eyes staring back at him.
"Yes," Steve replied. "Herobrine wants me dead. I can't stay here. He'll kill you and Kyle."
"Who's going to take care of Kyle?" Jacob asked.
"You are," said Steve. "You are his godfather."
"Alright then, you're really going?" said Jacob. Steve nodded. "Goodbye, Steve."
"Goodbye, Jacob. Don't forget about the heart. Give it to Kyle when he turns sixteen." Jacob nodded. He turned and glared out the window.
"I'll remember," Jacob assured him. Steve tried not to tear up. He hurried out the door, leaving his son with his best friend. If only, he could've stayed.
~~~~
Kyle always wondered about his father. Jacob told him he left when he was a baby. Now, he was 11. "Is he ever coming back?" Kyle asked.
"Maybe," Jacob answered. "I don't know."
"Do I have a mother?" Kyle questioned. Jacob turned to face his friend's child.
"No," Jacob said sadly. "She died in child birth." Ever since Steve left, the world turned dark. The monsters returned and the people lived in constant terror. Kyle was kept secret from the monsters. He had something that could be the end of them and Jacob didn't want them to know about it.
A few days earlier, a creeper stormed into the house and questioned Jacob while Kyle hid under a table. Herobrine, when he had resurrected the creatures, had given them the ability to speak."Get out of my house!" Jacob yelled at the monster.
"Where issssssss the boy?" the creeper hissed.
"What are you talking about?" Jacob pretended Kyle didn't exist. "I don't have a child!"
"I know someone elsssse is living here!" the creeper said. "Where issss he?"
"I am the only person living here!" Jacob screeched. "Now get out!" He threw a punch at the creeper. It hissed, like it was about to explode.
"You've been warned!" it exclaimed. "I will have you killed for thissssssss!" The creeper hurried out the door.
"Why do I always have to hide?" Kyle asked Jacob after the creeper left. His eyes sparkled with a mix of emotions. For a second, Jacob actually thought it was Steve. Kyle had his father's eyes and face.
"It's a secret," was the answer.
"Can't you tell me?" Kyle urged him.
"When you're older," said Jacob.~~~~It was on Kyle's 16th birthday when Jacob told him. "It is time I told you about your father and your secret," Jacob explained to him. They sat down at the table and began to talk.
Chapter 2: Discovered
"Your father was a brave man," Jacob began. "He saved the whole world by slaying every evil that threatened us. He saved my life many years ago."
"How?" Kyle asked.
"That's not important right now," said Jacob. "Anyway, when he slayed the Ender Dragon, it spit out its purple heart. Your father knew it had special abilities, but refused to use them. We humans are easily corrupted by powerful things. Now, it is yours. You have the Enderheart."
"Enderwhat?" Kyle questioned.
"Enderheart," repeated Jacob. "With it, you can do many things like fly, turn invisible, and even control Endermen."
"Whoa," Kyle gasped. Admiration filled his face.
"Just remember-"
"Who's that?" interrupted Kyle. Jacob turned to see a white head quickly escape from view.
"Skeleton!" Jacob warned Kyle. "He knows everything. We must kill it!"
"But won't that cause attention?" asked Kyle.
"We must do it. Herobrine will kill us both. You stay here."
"No," Kyle protested.
"Fine, just hurry," Jacob rushed out the door with his oak wood bow and sharp-tipped arrows. Kyle followed without any weapons.
The skeleton scurried across the grassy fields surrounding the house. "Must tell Master," it kept saying over and over again. Jacob rapidly fired a deadly arrow at the monster. It fell short, standing upright with the tip in the dirt. The second arrow connected with the skeleton's spine. It toppled over.
"Where do you think you're going?" Jacob asked. The skeleton chuckled.
"Once you kill me, Master will find you. He will kill you," wheezed the skeleton.
"I know," Jacob said with a cruel voice. "I don't care." With that, he sent another arrow into the beast. It's monstrous eyes closed. After another laugh, it died.
"We've got to get out of here!" panicked Kyle."I know," said Jacob. "Take the Enderheart and run."
"But," Kyle began, but Jacob cut him off.
"Go!" he yelled and shoved the Enderheart into the teenager's hands. Growling and moaning filled the area. About twenty rotten zombies slowly approached the two humans. "Go!" Jacob shouted again. Kyle ran off. He turned to see Jacob fire arrow after arrow. Four zombies went down. The others swarmed him.
Kyle could no longer see, but he knew his friend was dead. Tears flushed down his cheeks as he ran away from the zombies.
Chapter 3: The Battle
Kyle cried as he sprinted across the land. Now, he was alone. No father. No mother. No friend.
A skeleton took notice of the boy and pursued him. An arrow hit the ground a few inches from Kyle. He turned to see the skeleton nocking another arrow to its bowstring. As it fired, Kyle bounded into the air. He soared over the arrow and landed on top of the skeleton.
Instantly, Kyle began throwing punches. Tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He felt anger. "This is for Jacob!" he screamed and broke the head off. More monsters came towards Kyle.
He instinctively picked up the bow and began firing arrows. A zombie went down. Then another. Kyle picked up another arrow, only to find that it was the last one. He fired it at a nearby Creeper. It exploded into gray particles. Now, he was defenseless.
With only his fists to fight with, Kyle punched a zombie in the nose. Green liquid sprinkled out as it crashed to the grass. Another zombie fell on top of him. Now I'm dead! Kyle thought.
Suddenly, several tall black figures charged into the battlefield. They tore through the army of monsters. "Retreat! Retreat!" ordered a skeleton atop a giant spider, a Spider Jockey, obviously the leader. The creatures fled the area. Kyle tried to escape.
"We're on your side," said one of his rescuers.
"Why did you save me?" Kyle asked.
"We are Endermen," said another one of them. "You have the Enderheart. We are under your command.
"Kyle pulled out the magical purple item. Why did he forget about it? "Thanks," he finally said.
"You're welcome, Kyle," said an Enderman. "Since you have the Enderheart, we can aid you in battle whenever you need us."
"I can also fly and turn invisible, right?" Kyle questioned the Endermen.
"There are many things you can do with it," replied one of the Endermen. "You just need to learn how to. We must leave now."
"Alright, thanks again," Kyle called to them. He was alone again, lucky to be alive. He wondered what to do next.
Chapter 4: I Believe I Can Fly!
Kyle wandered around the fields. Surprisingly, the mobs were nowhere to be seen. There were only passive animals that he could see.
After about an hour, Kyle heard distant moaning. Oh no! They've found me! He thought. Quickly, he took off to find a safe area. The noises softened and eventually disappeared. Kyle came to a taiga. He had nowhere else to go, so he began the trek through the snow.
"I sure hope there are no mobs in here," he muttered aloud.
"Don't worry," said a voice. Kyle turned. A snowman with a pumpkin as a head approached him. "This forest is guarded by the Snow Golems. You are safe here. I am the leader. You can stay here as long as you like."
"Thank you, Mr. Golem," Kyle said. He continued walking.
Finally, he had time to think. Maybe I should practice flying. He thought.
Kyle climbed a hill and pulled the Enderheart out of his pocket. He took a deep breath and jumped off. Kyle imagined he was flying, but it didn't work. Luckily, the hill was only 4 blocks above the ground, so the injury was minor.
Kyle got up and tried again. He fell again. What am I doing wrong? He asked himself. As he got ready for his third attempt, he relaxed and took a deep breath. Kyle ran towards the edge. He clutched the magic heart tightly and leapt into the air. I believe I can fly! He told himself. Kyle waited for the impact, but it didn't come.
Kyle looked down. He was floating! "I did it!" Kyle cheered. Then, he fell. "I must've stopped focusing and lost the ability. I'll have to be more careful next time."
Next time, it worked again, but he continued to focus. Kyle concentrated on going higher. He rose one block more. Whoa! Kyle thought. Next, he concentrated on going forward. He shot forward at an uncontrollable speed. "Stop!" Kyle yelled, this time out loud.
He fell back to Earth. "I might be getting the hang of this," he said to himself. He decided to fly one more time. Kyle got back on top of the hill. He started charging towards the edge.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Kyle stumbled and fell off. Who said that? A dog scampered across the ground. It pounced on Kyle and started licking his face."Easy, boy," said the same voice. A teenager walked out of the clump of trees. His slick, black hair was covered by a wool hat. He looked the same age as Kyle. "My name's Jack."
"I'm Kyle," said Kyle.
"What were you doing?" Jack asked Kyle.
"Flying," Kyle admitted. Jack laughed.
"Flying?" Jack asked, still giggling. "You can't fly."
"Yes I can," said Kyle. I'll show you."
Chapter 5: The Snow Haven
Jack watched Kyle intently. "Let's see it, then," he said.
"Alright, here goes nothing," said Kyle. He gripped the Enderheart in his fist and rushed forwards. I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. "Whoa, you actually are flying!" Jack exclaimed. Kyle was flushed with relief. He landed smoothly on the snowy grass. "How did you do it?"
Kyle didn't want to tell him about the Enderheart. "Magic," he lied. "Anyway, do you have a house?"
"Yep," replied Jack. "It's a short distance from here. Let's go. Come on, Blizzard." The little puppy trotted behind Jack. Kyle followed.
The more they travelled, the colder it got. The tundra was freezing! Kyle felt like he was going to freeze to death. "We're here!" Jack announced. "Don't worry, it's nice and warm. Come on in." Kyle went inside.
"You have a nice house," he complimented.
"Thanks," Jack said. "It took me awhile to build, though." Blizzard curled up on the fuzzy red carpet by a roaring fire. "There's a spare bedroom in the back.
"Kyle nodded and strolled down the hall. His room looked nice. He had several paintings, a nice warm bed, windows, and a chest to store his belongings.
Jack was waiting for him back in the living room. "Do you like your room?" he asked.
"Yes," replied Kyle. "How long have you been here?"
"About two years," Jack answered. "One day, I just woke up and I was here. What about you?"
"I've lived in this place for sixteen years, my whole life," said Kyle. "I think I remember my father just woke up here, too. It seems a bit odd."
"It is," Jack agreed. "Is your dad still alive?"
"I don't know," Kyle shrugged. "He left when I was a baby to kill this guy named Herobrine. He never came back.""Herobrine?" Jack asked. "I've heard of him, but I don't know who he is."
"He's some evil person that wants to take control of this place," Kyle explained. "He's the one who brought the monsters here." Kyle looked out the window just to see the sun begin to lower into the horizon.
"How about we get some shut-eye?" Jack suggested. "We'll talk more tomorrow."
"Alright, goodnight," said Kyle.
"Goodnight, Kyle," Jack said back.
Chapter 6: A Warning
Kyle had a peaceful sleep. He awoke to sunlight flooding his room. Blizzard greeted him in the hallway. Together, they walked to the living room. Jack was lounging on his rose red sofa. "It's about time you woke up!" he greeted. "Are you ready for some hunting? I'm kind of low on food at the moment."
"Sure," Kyle answered. "I don't have any weapons, though."
"I have a spare bow and some arrows in the basement," Jack said. Kyle nodded and opened the basement door. He descended down the stone brick stairs. A lever hung from the left wall. Kyle pulled it.
Instantly, several redstone lamps lit up the dark room. Kyle approached the chest in the back. Inside, he found many ingots, wood planks, sticks, wool, cobblestone, and a bow with a pack of arrows. He grabbed the bow and arrows.
As he turned, the lights went out. "What the-?" Kyle couldn't see a thing. Suddenly, two white, glowing objects lit up by the stairs. He could hear evil laughter. The lights turned back on and another person was standing in the basement.
"Who are you?" Kyle asked.
"I am Herobrine," the person announced. "This is your warning. Leave now. If you don't, I will send my monsters on you. You are being hunted, Kyle." After the last sentence, He disappeared. Kyle rushed up the stairs, not turning back.
"You were in there for a long time," Jack acknowledged as Kyle shut the door.
"We have to leave!" Kyle exclaimed.
"What are you talking about?" Jack stood up from the sofa.
"It's Herobrine!" Jack yelped. "He was in the basement! He, he told me that I'm being hunted! If we don't leave now, he'll send the monsters on us!"
"You're making this up!" Jack refused to believe it.
"Trust me, we have to go," Kyle pleaded.
"Alright, if you really are sure," Jack agreed. "Where should we go?"
"Do you know of any safe places?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," Jack answered. "There's a village a couple miles from here."
"Great, let's go!" Kyle exclaimed. They barreled out the door, Blizzard at their heels. Fresh snow was falling from the chilling air. Across from them, Herobrine stood atop a cliff. A cruel smile slithered across his scarred face.
Chapter 7: On the Run
Jack led the way through the cold woods. The frosty snow was getting deeper as they went. Blizzard was striding on top of it as if it wasn't there, while Jack and Kyle were knee-deep in it.
"We're almost there!" Jack announced. "There's about one mile until we reach the desert where the village is." Kyle could feel a dark presence somewhere nearby. He looked over his shoulder. There was nothing.
Black shapes began lurking in the trees. Kyle gulped and grasped his bow, ready for an attack.
~~~~
Herobrine had moved to another hill. He could now clearly see the two boys and the dog. A creeper came up to him. "Masssster, they are escaping!"
"I know!" Herobrine snapped. "All is going according to my plan! Tell the other monsters to pursue them, except the skeletons. Tell them to find a high area and shoot them down."
"Asssss you wissssh, Massssster," the creeper nodded and departed towards the campsite where the monsters were positioned.
~~~~
"I think the monsters are coming after us!" Kyle shouted. By now, Jack was far ahead of him, his black hair, flying wildly in the breeze.
"How can you tell?" Jack yelled back. An arrow suddenly landed to Kyle's left.
"An arrow almost hit me!" he panicked.
"Don't worry, we'll make it!" Jack assured him. Another arrow slammed into a tree trunk on the left of Kyle. Loud screeching was heard close behind.
"Spiders!" Kyle warned. "Get ready for a fight." He turned and let an arrow fly. It landed on a red eye, belonging to the lead spider. It hissed and continued scurrying across the snow. Kyle's second arrow knocked it down.
"I see the desert up ahead!" Jack yelled. Kyle took down another spider. About five of them were left. His mouth drooped open as he spotted creepers and zombies in a number over one hundred following closely behind the massive arachnids.Jack tugged on his shoulder and continued to run, dragging Kyle behind him. Blizzard was already ten meters from the scorching sand. A creeper caught up and unleashed an enormous explosion. Kyle and Jack were flung to the ground.
A group of zombies stuttered towards them. "We're doomed!" Jack cried.
"Stay back!" commanded a strong voice. Kyle recognized the Snow Golems marching in front of him. They hurled snowballs at the beasts. They were weak, but very effective. A spider pounced onto a Golem and ripped it to shreds with its sharp fangs. Two other Golems took it down.
A zombie stormed over carrying a torch. He chucked it towards the attackers. The Golem that was hit exploded into a pile of snow. The leader of the Golems approached Kyle. "You must go," he said. "We cannot hold them for long. Get to safety!" Kyle nodded and got to his feet. He pulled up Jack and they ran for the desert, another arrow landing just where they were sitting.
Chapter 8: Safe... For Now
Kyle took one last look at the battle. Only four Snow Golems were left fighting the monsters. He wished he could've stayed and helped, but knew he could've been killed. He turned back to the burning desert he was standing in.
"Come on, Kyle!" Jack shouted. Kyle jogged back to his friend. Blizzard's tongue stuck out of her dry mouth and sagged in the air.
"How far is the village?" Kyle asked.
"It's just over this hill," Jack answered. He began climbing the sandstone hill. Blizzard bounded beside him. Kyle trudged close behind. He hated deserts. The heat was unbearable!
Just as Jack had told him, several buildings were clumped together just fifty paces ahead of him. "We made it," he said.
The journey down the hill was much easier. Blizzard charged across the sand. Jack picked up his pace, running after the wild dog. Kyle walked because he was tired.
"Welcome to our village," a man with an incredibly long nose said as he greeted the boys. "How long will you be staying?"
"I don't know," Jack answered. "I think we'll be here for a day or two."
"Great!" the villager cheered. "There's a spare house in the back of the village. Come with me."
Jack, Kyle, and Blizzard followed the villager through the gravel streets. Other villagers watched them as they passed by. They all had long noses as well.
"Here we are," the villager announced. A house made with a combo of wood, wood planks, and cobblestone sat in front of them. "It's not much, but it's livable. If you need anything, we have a church, library, and blacksmith. My name is George. I am the mayor."
"Thank you, George," said Jack. Kyle wandered inside their temporary home.
"Is it safe here?" Kyle asked.
"Oh yeah," Jack answered as he walked through the door. "Some of the villagers are great warriors. Plus, they have an Iron Golem to protect them."
"I've never seen an Iron Golem before!" Kyle exclaimed.
"They're huge things," Jack explained. "They are very powerful. An Iron Golem is a great friend, but a powerful enemy."
"Now I feel safer," Kyle said.
"That's good," said Jack. "What should we do?"
"I want to meet the Golem first," Kyle suggested.
"Alright, let's go," Jack said. "Stay here, Blizzard." He tossed a pork chop at the pup. It leapt into the air and caught the savory meat in its mouth. Jack and Kyle left the house, leaving the door unlocked.
Chapter 9: The Golem and the Blacksmith
Jack and Kyle strolled around the village. "He should be around here," Jack notified Kyle. As they turned a corner, they saw him.The gigantic Iron Golem was patrolling the streets. Mossy vines wrapped around his right shoulder. Bright red eyes flashed like lasers in the sunlight.
"Whoa," Kyle admired the creature.
"Hello, travelers," the guardian greeted in a loud, rumbling voice.
"Hello," Jack waved.
"Why have you come to see me?" it asked.
"My friend here has never seen an Iron Golem before," Jack gestured towards Kyle.
"Come with me," the Golem ordered. The two boys followed the enormous creature to the flat plains past the village. "This is where I practice," the Golem said.
"What do you practice?" Kyle asked.
"Fighting," the Golem answered. He led the boys down to a large pit. Moss stone covered the floors. After the Golem pulled a lever, a cobblestone ceiling covered them. The area went dark. A blue cage was in the corner. The Golem took a torch off the top. "Stay back," it warned.
After about ten seconds a full-sized zombie emerged from the cage. The Golem threw it into the air. Kyle was amazed. The zombie landed only to be thrown up again. After it died, another spawned. The Golem easily took care of it. After killing about four zombies, the Golem placed the torch back on the cage.
"Is that a zombie spawner?" Jack asked. The Golem nodded. "I've always wanted to mess around with one of those!"
"You're a great fighter," Kyle blurted out.
"Thank you," the Golem smiled. He pulled the lever. Sunlight poured back into the area. "Goodbye, humans."
"Goodbye, Iron Golem!" Kyle and Jack exclaimed. They returned to the village.
~~~~
"What now?" Kyle asked.
"Let's go see that blacksmith George told us about," Jack suggested. They strutted past a small well made of cobblestone and wood fence pieces. They saw a building that was different from the others. They could see iron bars, furnaces, and lava."That looks like the blacksmith's building," Kyle said. Jack nodded and led the way inside.
"Hello, are you the blacksmith?" Jack asked.
"Why, yes I am!" the villager replied in a cheery voice. "What can I help you with?"
"We need some swords and armor," Kyle said.
"What do you have to trade?" the blacksmith questioned.
"I have 7 iron ingots, 3 bread, and 2 leather," Jack said, pulling them out of his pocket.
"I have 4 wheat, 3 bones, and 5 pork chops," Kyle added. He felt the Enderheart in his pocket, but didn't want to tell the blacksmith.
"Alright, that will get you a set of iron armor, a spare iron helmet and boots, a leather shirt and pants, plus two stone swords," the blacksmith said.
"That would be perfect!" Jack agreed. They turned in their items. The blacksmith took them and left to get the armor and swords.
After receiving the weapons, Jack and Kyle left the blacksmith. The sun began to lower a bit. "We're losing sunlight," Kyle pointed out. They returned home just as night came. Blizzard was already asleep.
Chapter 10: A New Kind of Monster
Kyle woke up early. He yawned and sat up on his wool bed. Blizzard lifted up his head, and then realizing that nothing was wrong, went back to sleep. Kyle went over to the chest in the back and made himself a platter of fresh bread, juicy apples, and delicious watermelon. Jack woke a few minutes later. Kyle gave him a platter of the same foods and they ate at the table. "What are we going to do today?" Jack wondered.
"I don't know," Kyle replied. "Maybe we should walk around and ask people if they need help with anything."
"I don't have any better ideas," Jack said. He took the last bite of his loaf of bread. Blizzard got up and leapt onto the window. He stared out into the village. He started barking.
"Blizzard, get down!" Kyle commanded. Blizzard looked at Kyle, but continued barking. Jack picked him and sat him down in his bed. The dog's tail was wagging. Knock, knock, knock."Someone's at the door," Jack noticed.
"I'll get it," Kyle volunteered. He strolled over to the door and opened it. "Dad?"
"Kyle, I've been looking all over for you!" the man at the door exclaimed.
"Is it really you, Dad?" Kyle asked. The man did look like his dad in the picture in his old home.
"Yes, Kyle," Steve answered. "May I come in?"
"Of course," Kyle ushered him inside their temporary house in the village
"Hello, there," Steve greeted Jack, who was still eating. "I am Kyle's father, but you can call me Steve."
"Hi, I'm Jack," Jack said. Blizzard leapt out of her bed and growled at Steve. "It's okay, boy," Jack assured his pet. Blizzard sat back down, but continued to stare at the stranger.
"It's over, son," Steve explained. "The monsters are no more."
"So Herobrine is dead?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," Steve nodded. "Now, do you still have the Enderheart?"Kyle showed his father the purple item. "Yes," he replied.
"I need it back, please," Steve demanded.
"Jacob told me you don't want it," Kyle recalled.
"I didn't want it," Steve said, "but I want it now.
"Blizzard barked and pounced on Kyle's father. He screamed in agony. "Help me, son!" Steve yelled. Kyle pulled Blizzard off of his dad. "Ugh, thank you," Steve said. "Please, give me the heart!"
"You're not really my dad!" Kyle backed away.
"GIVE IT TO ME!!!!" he shouted.
"Never!" Kyle refused. Steve roared with anger and transformed into a black shadowy beast. Long, dagger-like claws formed from his fingertips. He laughed evilly and stepped towards Kyle.
Jack, reacting quickly, grabbed his bow and fired a broad arrow at the attacker. It hit him in the stomach. Blizzard charged and smashed into his legs, toppling him over. Kyle, as fast as a spider, drew his sword and pointed the blade at the monster."Who are you?" Kyle demanded. The beast chuckled.
"You got lucky, boy!" the fake Steve snarled. "Next time, when your idiot friend and stupid dog aren't around, you'll be dead!" He laughed again and disappeared into a black mist.
Chapter 11: The Ender Sword
Kyle fell on to the floor, sweating like mad. "What was that all about?" he panted.
"One thing's for sure," Jack said. "that monster was nothing that I have seen before! Herobrine must really want you dead!" Kyle pulled himself into a sitting position.
"How did it get past the Golem?" he questioned.
"It looked like your father," Jack explained. "I don't think it noticed. Perhaps that thing is some sort of doppelganger."
"You may be right," Kyle agreed. "Let's see if we can find out more in the library."
"Good idea!" Jack agreed. They left the house, leaving Blizzard to watch over things.
~~~~
"Alright, let's see if we can find anything," Kyle said. Jack nodded and they each scanned a shelf.
"I found something!" Jack exclaimed about a minute later. He pulled out a hardcover, yellow book titled Legendary Beasts of Minecraftia.
"Try and find something about what we just fought," Kyle suggested. Jack turned to a page that read "Shape Shifters."
Shape Shifters are incredibly dangerous. They are also very rare. A Shape Shifter can take the form of anything it chooses and can inherit the life form's abilities. If one changed into a Spider, it could climb walls and make webs.
When they're not in any form, they are tall, black, faceless beasts with long, dangly claws. At any time, they can disappear, leaving a black fog in their way.
They didn't need to read anymore. "That's it!" Kyle concluded. "That was a Shape Shifter."
"No doubt about it," Jack nodded. "By the way, didn't that thing mention an Enderheart or something?" Kyle nodded. "We should probably find something on that, too."
"Yeah, I've always wanted to find out more about it," Kyle smiled. He went back to the shelves and came back with Magical Items and Weapons.
"I know a lot about it already," Kyle said as he skimmed through the book. "I found something," he announced a few seconds later.
The Enderheart can also be made into the most powerful weapon imaginable. To make the Ender Sword, you must stab the heart with a sword and let the purple liquids squirt onto the blade. Once enough liquid is added, the sword will glow purple, creating the Ender Sword.
"Sweet!" Jack cheered.
"I think we've read enough," Kyle said. "Let's make the sword!" Jack jumped with happiness. Before they left, Kyle smiled as he noticed another book, The Adventures of Steve, written by Jacob.
~~~~
Kyle and Jack sprinted back into the house. Blizzard leapt up, tail wagging. "Where's my sword?" Kyle asked.
"I'll get it!" Jack called as he ran to the back of the house. He heaved the heavy stone blade onto his shoulder and handed it to Kyle. He placed it on the crafting table and took out the Enderheart.
"Here we go," Kyle took in a deep breath. He closed his eyes and plunged the sword into the Enderheart. Purple blood splashed all over them.
"Ack!" Jack screeched.
"It's working!" Kyle cheered. The liquid sunk into the sword and the blade turned purple. "The Ender Sword!"
"Hello, Kyle," the Ender Sword greeted.
Chapter 12: The Power
"Who said that?" Kyle asked franticly. He searched the room, but only Jack and Blizzard were there.
"I did," called the sword.
"Cool," Jack admired. "The sword can talk!"
"I can only talk for the first five minutes of my life," the Ender Sword informed them. "That means I have to tell you how to use me before I lose my voice."
"We're listening," Kyle said.
"In order to use my special powers, you must speak a command," the sword explained.
"That's it?" Jack asked.
"No," the sword replied. Jack frowned. "You must believe in yourself."
"Just like I couldn't fly at first," Kyle compared. "I had to believe I could fly and really focus on it."
"Exactly!" said the sword. "There's one more thing I need to tell you."
"What is it?" Kyle asked.
"I need you to tell me your name and your father's name," the Ender Sword answered.
Kyle hesitated. Why would the sword need to know that? "I am Kyle, Son of Steve," he finally spoke.
"Kyle, Son of Steve," the sword repeated, "do you solemnly swear to use me for good and not evil?"
Kyle nodded. "I do."
"Then, it is finished," the Ender Sword announced. "You are my master, now. No one else can use my power, unless you tell me to."
"Sweet!" Kyle cheered. "Wait, I have a question." Silence. "Hello?" No answer.
"He's lost his ability to speak," Jack said.
"Oh, well," Kyle shrugged. "Now it's time to practice!"
~~~~
Kyle and Jack strolled over to the Iron Golem, who was off patrolling the village. "Hello again," Kyle greeted.
"Hello, the Iron Golem said.
"Can we use your zombie spawner for a little bit?" Jack asked.
"Sure, what for?" questioned the Golem.
"We want to practice our sword skills," Jack replied.
"Alright," the Golem allowed. "Just be careful."
Jack and Kyle jogged over to the pit where the secret dungeon was. Jack pulled the lever and the ceiling shifted to cover them. He picked the torch off the spawner and stood back. "Are you ready?" he asked Kyle.
"I was born ready!" Kyle called. Suddenly, three zombies appeared in the back of the dungeon. They took notice of the two boys. Growling, the stumbled towards Kyle. Kyle swung the Ender Sword at the first zombie. In one swift stroke, its head flew off its shoulders and was tossed against the wall.
"Whoa," Jack gasped. Kyle took on the next zombie, and slew it with only one hit, just like the first one. The third was just as easy. "That sword is amazing!" Jack yelled.
"I know," Kyle nodded just as two more zombies appeared.
~~~~
After five minutes, Kyle decided he was finished. He placed the torch back on the spawner, pulled the lever, and followed Jack out of the dungeon.
"That sword has real power!" Jack congratulated. "I wish I had one!"
"Let's work on some new skills," Kyle decided. Jack agreed.
"Remember, just give it a command," Jack recalled.
"Right," Kyle said. He focused really hard. "Turn me invisible!" Nothing happened. Then, he remembered to focus. "Turn me invisible!" Instantly, the area around him turned white. Everything was blurry.
"Where'd you go?" Jack panicked.
"Make me visible!" Kyle commanded. Everything returned to normal.
"You're lucky!" Jack exclaimed. "I could not see you at all!" Just then, the sun began to set. "It's turning dark. Let's go to bed."
Chapter 13: Zombie Siege!
Kyle woke up in a strange building. Dark red bricks made the walls, ceilings, and floors. He began to walk down a long corridor. A maniacal laughter echoed throughout the area. Kyle turned a corner.
A black skeleton stood in front of him. It held a long, intimidating sword at him. "Stay back!" Kyle warned. He brought his Ender Sword into view and pointed it at the monster. The skeleton didn't seem to notice. It just stared straight ahead.
Kyle continued walking. The skeleton paid no attention as he walked by. "What is this place?" Kyle asked out loud. He kept walking.
As Kyle ascended up a flight of stairs, he could hear voices. He picked up his pace and ran down a hallway. Around the next corner, he spotted...
"Dad?" Kyle asked. Steve was chained to a wall. Bloody scars covered his right cheek. "Dad?" Kyle repeated. His father did not answer. Kyle reached out to touch Steve.
Suddenly, the laughing returned. Kyle spun around to see Herobrine glaring at him. Actually, he was looking at Steve.
"Are you willing to tell me?" Herobrine questioned.
"Never," Steve answered.
"I warned you, Steve!" Herobrine hissed. He pulled out his diamond sword.
"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!" Kyle screamed.
~~~~
Jack shook Kyle, waking him up. "Come on, we have to get out of here!" Jack ordered.
"Why?" Kyle shot out of bed.
"There's a zombie siege!" Jack panicked. He scooped up Blizzard in his arms and rushed out the door. Kyle unsheathed his sword and hurried after him. Blazing fires were destroying the houses. Villagers were running around, panicking.
A moaning noise snapped Kyle into focus. He turned and swung without looking, knocking a zombie to the ground. Two more came around a corner. Kyle took them down just as easily.
"We need to get out of here!" Jack yelled .
"Hold on," Kyle said. "We need to find the Golem!" He took off through the village. Two zombies mauled a villager and transformed him into one of them. All three of them stumbled towards Kyle.
He slaughtered two of them, but the third took him to the ground. A stone sword slammed into the monster. Kyle looked up to see the blacksmith.
"Save yourselves!" he shouted. "Get out of here!" He barreled in the opposite direction. Kyle got up and found the Iron Golem in the distance.
"Come on!" he exclaimed and charged towards the Golem. Five zombies were surrounding it. Kyle leapt into action, cutting down zombie after zombie. The Golem took down the last one.
"Are you alright?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," the Golem replied.
"We have to evacuate!" Jack said.
"No," the Golem refused. "I must defend village!"
"You'll die!" Kyle said.
"I must do it," Golem persisted. "Go."
Kyle tried to speak, but Jack pulled him away from the burning buildings. Tears fled down Kyle's cheeks.
:/ And you were off to such a great start! Please make your chapters longer. Thanks!
I'm not done with Chapter 1 yet. I just had to quickly make a part of it because my computer keeps shutting off randomly. I'll try and finish it tomorrow!
I'm not done with Chapter 1 yet. I just had to quickly make a part of it because my computer keeps shutting off randomly. I'll try and finish it tomorrow!
"Your father was a brave man," Jacob began. "He saved the whole world by slaying every evil that threatened us. He saved my life many years ago."
"How?" Kyle asked.
"That's not important right now," said Jacob. "Anyway, when he slayed the Ender Dragon, it spit out its purple heart. Your father knew it had special abilities, but refused to use it. Now, it is yours. You have the Enderheart."
"Enderwhat?" Kyle questioned.
"Enderheart," repeated Jacob. "With it, you can do many things like fly, turn invisible, and even control Endermen."
"Whoa," Kyle gasped.
"Just remember-"
"Who's that?" interrupted Kyle. Jacob turned to see a white head quickly escape from view.
"Skeleton!" Jacob warned Kyle. "He knows everything. We must kill it!"
"But won't that cause attention?" asked Kyle.
"We must do it. Herobrine will kill us both. You stay here."
"No," Kyle protested.
"Fine, just hurry," Jacob rushed out the door with his bow and arrows. Kyle followed without any weapons.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Ok, I'm not going to lie, I facepalmed quite a bit while reading this. While I usually prefer to ignore small tidbits of a story that are inconsistent or unbelievable, there are moments in this story that are difficult to ignore. Before I go into specific details about the story itself, I want to make one broader recommendation:
Please add more description. It helps the reader to get involved in the plot, the characters, the environment, the mood... heck, it makes everything more believable. At this point, I don't know what the characters look like, or what their personalities are. I don't have a very good sense of where they are, where they're going, or how much time has passed (not stuff like Kyle's 16th birthday; I'm talking more about things like: How long did it take for Kyle to run away? Where the heck did he go before Jack found him? "Kyle wandered around for a long time" is quite vague.) Aside from adding new details, you can also use description to supplement the actual actions taking place. You could do any number of things. It would just be nice if there was a greater sense of the surroundings to supplement the story, so it isn't just words on a [web]page. I'm not saying that you don't use description at all; it's just that it's only used in certain bits of the story, and the description that is used feels... okay, this is becoming progressively more difficult to explain.
I'll just move onto the detailed bits. Some of these may be story-breaking. I recognize that, having already settled on a plot and written the first few chapters, you may not address some of these issues specifically, but I hope you keep these in mind in future writing:
"We meet again," said a voice.
"Herobrine?" Steve gasped. The white eyes stared back at him.
"Yes," He replied. "Now, it is time to die."
You may or may not already know this, but the Steve vs. Herobrine plot has been used frequently. ("frequently" being a euphemism) I don't mind Herobrine as a villain per-se, so long as the author puts their own spin on him, but when Steve is thrown into the mix, and the dialogue between the two rivals is short and lacking of context, the first thing I think is: "deja vu."
Of course Herobrine wants to kill Steve! He is evil, right? It's kind of an insult to Steve's intelligence for Herobrine (or, rather, Steve's subconsciousness) to say "I will kill you now." It would me more interesting if Herobrine said something to the effect that "Hey, I discovered something that's a game-changer; the stalemate in our rivalry won't last long!"
Steve finished packing up his things. "Are you sure about this, Steve?" his friend Jacob asked.
"Yes," Steve replied. "Herobrine wants me dead. I can't stay here. He'll kill you and Kyle."
Ever since Steve left, the world turned dark. The monsters returned and the people lived in constant terror.
Steve is definitely OP if he's the only thing standing between "the people" and all those monsters. Plus, if Steve is so important to the people's safety, then why did he leave? Steve could use some sort of weakness, as well as a better explanation why he's leaving all those people to die. The safety of his own family is a selfish excuse by itself.
"Once you kill me, Master will find you. He will kill you," wheezed the skeleton.
"I know," Jacob said with a cruel voice. "I don't care." With that, he sent another arrow into the beast. It's monstrous eyes closed. After another laugh, it died.
Skeletons don't have eyelids...
"That's not important right now," said Jacob. "Anyway, when he slayed the Ender Dragon, it spit out its purple heart. Your father knew it had special abilities, but refused to use it. Now, it is yours. You have the Enderheart."
"Enderwhat?" Kyle questioned.
"Enderheart," repeated Jacob. "With it, you can do many things like fly, turn invisible, and even control Endermen."
I find it difficult to believe that Steve would simply refuse to use the Enderheart, considering the fact that he can already keep all the monsters away from wherever he was (where is that, by the way?). It's more like he chose not to use it. On the other hand, I find it strange that Steve would refuse to use it when it could have been used to defeat Herobrine.
Also, it seems like Kyle is falling into a sort-of "chosen one" role. I get that Kyle is Steve's son and that he's supposed to be powerful, but if he falls into his role quickly [in other words, becomes OP], then the story could rush by, and it would feel like there's very little conflict, up until the very end.
Speaking of the end, I predict that Steve and Herobrine will engage in some sort of epic battle, but then Steve will get incapacitated, or choose not to fight for some other reason. Then Kyle and Herobrine will engage in some sort of epic battle in which Kyle wins.
Regardless of whether or not that is the actual ending, you'll have to work out the pieces of the plot in between to keep things interesting.
"Herobrine?" Jack asked. "I've heard of him, but I don't know who he is."
You'd have to live under a rock to be a Minecraftian and yet not know who Herobrine is.
And that is all of the opinions/advice/feedback I have to give. Use it how you wish.
Ok, I'm not going to lie, I facepalmed quite a bit while reading this. While I usually prefer to ignore small tidbits of a story that are inconsistent or unbelievable, there are moments in this story that are difficult to ignore. Before I go into specific details about the story itself, I want to make one broader recommendation:
Please add more description. It helps the reader to get involved in the plot, the characters, the environment, the mood... heck, it makes everything more believable. At this point, I don't know what the characters look like, or what their personalities are. I don't have a very good sense of where they are, where they're going, or how much time has passed (not stuff like Kyle's 16th birthday; I'm talking more about things like: How long did it take for Kyle to run away? Where the heck did he go before Jack found him? "Kyle wandered around for a long time" is quite vague.) Aside from adding new details, you can also use description to supplement the actual actions taking place. You could do any number of things. It would just be nice if there was a greater sense of the surroundings to supplement the story, so it isn't just words on a [web]page. I'm not saying that you don't use description at all; it's just that it's only used in certain bits of the story, and the description that is used feels... okay, this is becoming progressively more difficult to explain.
I'll just move onto the detailed bits. Some of these may be story-breaking. I recognize that, having already settled on a plot and written the first few chapters, you may not address some of these issues specifically, but I hope you keep these in mind in future writing:
You may or may not already know this, but the Steve vs. Herobrine plot has been used frequently. ("frequently" being a euphemism) I don't mind Herobrine as a villain per-se, so long as the author puts their own spin on him, but when Steve is thrown into the mix, and the dialogue between the two rivals is short and lacking of context, the first thing I think is: "deja vu."
Of course Herobrine wants to kill Steve! He is evil, right? It's kind of an insult to Steve's intelligence for Herobrine (or, rather, Steve's subconsciousness) to say "I will kill you now." It would me more interesting if Herobrine said something to the effect that "Hey, I discovered something that's a game-changer; the stalemate in our rivalry won't last long!"
Steve is definitely OP if he's the only thing standing between "the people" and all those monsters. Plus, if Steve is so important to the people's safety, then why did he leave? Steve could use some sort of weakness, as well as a better explanation why he's leaving all those people to die. The safety of his own family is a selfish excuse by itself.
Skeletons don't have eyelids...
I find it difficult to believe that Steve would simply refuse to use the Enderheart, considering the fact that he can already keep all the monsters away from wherever he was (where is that, by the way?). It's more like he chose not to use it. On the other hand, I find it strange that Steve would refuse to use it when it could have been used to defeat Herobrine.
Also, it seems like Kyle is falling into a sort-of "chosen one" role. I get that Kyle is Steve's son and that he's supposed to be powerful, but if he falls into his role quickly [in other words, becomes OP], then the story could rush by, and it would feel like there's very little conflict, up until the very end.
Speaking of the end, I predict that Steve and Herobrine will engage in some sort of epic battle, but then Steve will get incapacitated, or choose not to fight for some other reason. Then Kyle and Herobrine will engage in some sort of epic battle in which Kyle wins.
Regardless of whether or not that is the actual ending, you'll have to work out the pieces of the plot in between to keep things interesting.
You'd have to live under a rock to be a Minecraftian and yet not know who Herobrine is.
And that is all of the opinions/advice/feedback I have to give. Use it how you wish.
Have to agree with him, the plot is way too obvious without a major spin on it.:D as well with all the grammar/logic.
I've decided to edit my chapters to add a lot of detail. Sorry, when I write I sometimes forget to add detail.
So far I have revised and edited the Prologue, plus chapters 1 and 2.
Kyle always wondered about his father. Jacob told him he left when he was a baby. Now, he was 11. "Is he ever coming back?" Kyle asked. This could easily be turned into several paragraphs.
"Maybe," Jacob answered. "I don't know."
"Do I have a mother?" Kyle questioned. Jacob turned to face his friend's child.
"No," Jacob said sadly. "She died in child birth."
Ever since Steve left, the world turned dark. The monsters returned and the people lived in constant terror. Kyle was kept secret from the monsters. He had something that could be the end of them and Jacob didn't want them to know about it. Why can't Jacob use the EnderHeart? Did the world actually turn dark or is that saying that it was filled with evil and monsters? There is a ton of detail in these four sentences that you have just left out.
A few days earlier, a creeper stormed into the house and questioned Jacob while Kyle hid under a table. Herobrine, when he had resurrected the creatures, had given them the ability to speak. Describe the encounter with the creeper! It doesn't really make sense that you don't
"Why do I always have to hide?" Kyle asked Jacob after the creeper left. His eyes sparkled with a mix of emotions. For a second, Jacob actually thought it was Steve. Kyle had his father's eyes and face. This seems to be an afterthought added in, Understandable though not very well described.
Kyle always wondered about his father. Jacob told him he left when he was a baby. Now, he was 11. "Is he ever coming back?" Kyle asked. This could easily be turned into several paragraphs.
"Maybe," Jacob answered. "I don't know."
"Do I have a mother?" Kyle questioned. Jacob turned to face his friend's child.
"No," Jacob said sadly. "She died in child birth."
Ever since Steve left, the world turned dark. The monsters returned and the people lived in constant terror. Kyle was kept secret from the monsters. He had something that could be the end of them and Jacob didn't want them to know about it. Why can't Jacob use the EnderHeart? Did the world actually turn dark or is that saying that it was filled with evil and monsters? There is a ton of detail in these four sentences that you have just left out.
A few days earlier, a creeper stormed into the house and questioned Jacob while Kyle hid under a table. Herobrine, when he had resurrected the creatures, had given them the ability to speak. Describe the encounter with the creeper! It doesn't really make sense that you don't
"Why do I always have to hide?" Kyle asked Jacob after the creeper left. His eyes sparkled with a mix of emotions. For a second, Jacob actually thought it was Steve. Kyle had his father's eyes and face. This seems to be an afterthought added in, Understandable though not very well described.
"It's a secret," was the answer.
"Can't you tell me?" Kyle urged him.
"When you're older," said Jacob.
I have added a part of Chapter 1 with the encounter with the creeper. The answers to your questions will be explained later in the story. I will try to fix some of the things you pointed out.
I have added a part of Chapter 1 with the encounter with the creeper. The answers to your questions will be explained later in the story. I will try to fix some of the things you pointed out.
Alright, I have finished editing for now. If there is still something I need to fix or improve, tell me. I will work on Chapter 6 when I have free time. Thank you all for your help!
Alright, I have finished editing for now. If there is still something I need to fix or improve, tell me. I will work on Chapter 6 when I have free time. Thank you all for your help!
Enderheart is a story about Steve's son. It takes place years after Steve slayed the Ender Dragon. However, there are certain characters and creatures that were a part of Steve's adventures. Thanks to DreadMage for the title and a few ideas. I bring you... Enderheart!!!
Enderheart Banner
I have created a banner for Enderheart. If you would like to support the story, put it as your signature. Thanks, guys!
Prologue
Steve was walking along a gravel pathway. A field of grass surrounded him. He turned back and saw his average-sized, cobblestone house, fading into the distance after every step. Steve took a deep breath and kept walking. The bright, hot sun beat down on him like he was on fire.A herd of cows wandered to his right. A beautiful river flowed on his left. Life was perfect. There were no more horrible monsters. Everything was just fine.
Suddenly, a dark shape dashed towards him. Steve dodged, but he was too late. BOOM! Steve flew to the ground. Was that a creeper? Wait, there wasn't any familiar hissing noise."We meet again," said a disturbing voice.
"Herobrine?" Steve gasped. The scary white eyes stared back at him. Several blood-red scars covered his face and arms.
"Yes," He replied. "Now, it is time to die."
"No!" Steve yelled. Herobrine brought a shimmering diamond sword over his head. Steve begged for mercy. Then, the sword hit him. Steve felt nothing, though.
He jumped out of bed. It was a dream? No, it was more than that. It was a vision. Herobrine was back and he wanted Steve dead.
Chapter 1: Goodbye
Steve finished packing up his things. "Are you sure about this, Steve?" his friend Jacob asked. Steve looked up to see sad, blue eyes staring back at him.
"Yes," Steve replied. "Herobrine wants me dead. I can't stay here. He'll kill you and Kyle."
"Who's going to take care of Kyle?" Jacob asked.
"You are," said Steve. "You are his godfather."
"Alright then, you're really going?" said Jacob. Steve nodded. "Goodbye, Steve."
"Goodbye, Jacob. Don't forget about the heart. Give it to Kyle when he turns sixteen." Jacob nodded. He turned and glared out the window.
"I'll remember," Jacob assured him. Steve tried not to tear up. He hurried out the door, leaving his son with his best friend. If only, he could've stayed.
~~~~
Kyle always wondered about his father. Jacob told him he left when he was a baby. Now, he was 11. "Is he ever coming back?" Kyle asked.
"Maybe," Jacob answered. "I don't know."
"Do I have a mother?" Kyle questioned. Jacob turned to face his friend's child.
"No," Jacob said sadly. "She died in child birth." Ever since Steve left, the world turned dark. The monsters returned and the people lived in constant terror. Kyle was kept secret from the monsters. He had something that could be the end of them and Jacob didn't want them to know about it.
A few days earlier, a creeper stormed into the house and questioned Jacob while Kyle hid under a table. Herobrine, when he had resurrected the creatures, had given them the ability to speak."Get out of my house!" Jacob yelled at the monster.
"Where issssssss the boy?" the creeper hissed.
"What are you talking about?" Jacob pretended Kyle didn't exist. "I don't have a child!"
"I know someone elsssse is living here!" the creeper said. "Where issss he?"
"I am the only person living here!" Jacob screeched. "Now get out!" He threw a punch at the creeper. It hissed, like it was about to explode.
"You've been warned!" it exclaimed. "I will have you killed for thissssssss!" The creeper hurried out the door.
"Why do I always have to hide?" Kyle asked Jacob after the creeper left. His eyes sparkled with a mix of emotions. For a second, Jacob actually thought it was Steve. Kyle had his father's eyes and face.
"It's a secret," was the answer.
"Can't you tell me?" Kyle urged him.
"When you're older," said Jacob.~~~~It was on Kyle's 16th birthday when Jacob told him. "It is time I told you about your father and your secret," Jacob explained to him. They sat down at the table and began to talk.
Chapter 2: Discovered
"Your father was a brave man," Jacob began. "He saved the whole world by slaying every evil that threatened us. He saved my life many years ago."
"How?" Kyle asked.
"That's not important right now," said Jacob. "Anyway, when he slayed the Ender Dragon, it spit out its purple heart. Your father knew it had special abilities, but refused to use them. We humans are easily corrupted by powerful things. Now, it is yours. You have the Enderheart."
"Enderwhat?" Kyle questioned.
"Enderheart," repeated Jacob. "With it, you can do many things like fly, turn invisible, and even control Endermen."
"Whoa," Kyle gasped. Admiration filled his face.
"Just remember-"
"Who's that?" interrupted Kyle. Jacob turned to see a white head quickly escape from view.
"Skeleton!" Jacob warned Kyle. "He knows everything. We must kill it!"
"But won't that cause attention?" asked Kyle.
"We must do it. Herobrine will kill us both. You stay here."
"No," Kyle protested.
"Fine, just hurry," Jacob rushed out the door with his oak wood bow and sharp-tipped arrows. Kyle followed without any weapons.
The skeleton scurried across the grassy fields surrounding the house. "Must tell Master," it kept saying over and over again. Jacob rapidly fired a deadly arrow at the monster. It fell short, standing upright with the tip in the dirt. The second arrow connected with the skeleton's spine. It toppled over.
"Where do you think you're going?" Jacob asked. The skeleton chuckled.
"Once you kill me, Master will find you. He will kill you," wheezed the skeleton.
"I know," Jacob said with a cruel voice. "I don't care." With that, he sent another arrow into the beast. It's monstrous eyes closed. After another laugh, it died.
"We've got to get out of here!" panicked Kyle."I know," said Jacob. "Take the Enderheart and run."
"But," Kyle began, but Jacob cut him off.
"Go!" he yelled and shoved the Enderheart into the teenager's hands. Growling and moaning filled the area. About twenty rotten zombies slowly approached the two humans. "Go!" Jacob shouted again. Kyle ran off. He turned to see Jacob fire arrow after arrow. Four zombies went down. The others swarmed him.
Kyle could no longer see, but he knew his friend was dead. Tears flushed down his cheeks as he ran away from the zombies.
Chapter 3: The Battle
Kyle cried as he sprinted across the land. Now, he was alone. No father. No mother. No friend.
A skeleton took notice of the boy and pursued him. An arrow hit the ground a few inches from Kyle. He turned to see the skeleton nocking another arrow to its bowstring. As it fired, Kyle bounded into the air. He soared over the arrow and landed on top of the skeleton.
Instantly, Kyle began throwing punches. Tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He felt anger. "This is for Jacob!" he screamed and broke the head off. More monsters came towards Kyle.
He instinctively picked up the bow and began firing arrows. A zombie went down. Then another. Kyle picked up another arrow, only to find that it was the last one. He fired it at a nearby Creeper. It exploded into gray particles. Now, he was defenseless.
With only his fists to fight with, Kyle punched a zombie in the nose. Green liquid sprinkled out as it crashed to the grass. Another zombie fell on top of him. Now I'm dead! Kyle thought.
Suddenly, several tall black figures charged into the battlefield. They tore through the army of monsters. "Retreat! Retreat!" ordered a skeleton atop a giant spider, a Spider Jockey, obviously the leader. The creatures fled the area. Kyle tried to escape.
"We're on your side," said one of his rescuers.
"Why did you save me?" Kyle asked.
"We are Endermen," said another one of them. "You have the Enderheart. We are under your command.
"Kyle pulled out the magical purple item. Why did he forget about it? "Thanks," he finally said.
"You're welcome, Kyle," said an Enderman. "Since you have the Enderheart, we can aid you in battle whenever you need us."
"I can also fly and turn invisible, right?" Kyle questioned the Endermen.
"There are many things you can do with it," replied one of the Endermen. "You just need to learn how to. We must leave now."
"Alright, thanks again," Kyle called to them. He was alone again, lucky to be alive. He wondered what to do next.
Chapter 4: I Believe I Can Fly!
Kyle wandered around the fields. Surprisingly, the mobs were nowhere to be seen. There were only passive animals that he could see.
After about an hour, Kyle heard distant moaning. Oh no! They've found me! He thought. Quickly, he took off to find a safe area. The noises softened and eventually disappeared. Kyle came to a taiga. He had nowhere else to go, so he began the trek through the snow.
"I sure hope there are no mobs in here," he muttered aloud.
"Don't worry," said a voice. Kyle turned. A snowman with a pumpkin as a head approached him. "This forest is guarded by the Snow Golems. You are safe here. I am the leader. You can stay here as long as you like."
"Thank you, Mr. Golem," Kyle said. He continued walking.
Finally, he had time to think. Maybe I should practice flying. He thought.
Kyle climbed a hill and pulled the Enderheart out of his pocket. He took a deep breath and jumped off. Kyle imagined he was flying, but it didn't work. Luckily, the hill was only 4 blocks above the ground, so the injury was minor.
Kyle got up and tried again. He fell again. What am I doing wrong? He asked himself. As he got ready for his third attempt, he relaxed and took a deep breath. Kyle ran towards the edge. He clutched the magic heart tightly and leapt into the air. I believe I can fly! He told himself. Kyle waited for the impact, but it didn't come.
Kyle looked down. He was floating! "I did it!" Kyle cheered. Then, he fell. "I must've stopped focusing and lost the ability. I'll have to be more careful next time."
Next time, it worked again, but he continued to focus. Kyle concentrated on going higher. He rose one block more. Whoa! Kyle thought. Next, he concentrated on going forward. He shot forward at an uncontrollable speed. "Stop!" Kyle yelled, this time out loud.
He fell back to Earth. "I might be getting the hang of this," he said to himself. He decided to fly one more time. Kyle got back on top of the hill. He started charging towards the edge.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Kyle stumbled and fell off. Who said that? A dog scampered across the ground. It pounced on Kyle and started licking his face."Easy, boy," said the same voice. A teenager walked out of the clump of trees. His slick, black hair was covered by a wool hat. He looked the same age as Kyle. "My name's Jack."
"I'm Kyle," said Kyle.
"What were you doing?" Jack asked Kyle.
"Flying," Kyle admitted. Jack laughed.
"Flying?" Jack asked, still giggling. "You can't fly."
"Yes I can," said Kyle. I'll show you."
Chapter 5: The Snow Haven
Jack watched Kyle intently. "Let's see it, then," he said.
"Alright, here goes nothing," said Kyle. He gripped the Enderheart in his fist and rushed forwards. I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. "Whoa, you actually are flying!" Jack exclaimed. Kyle was flushed with relief. He landed smoothly on the snowy grass. "How did you do it?"
Kyle didn't want to tell him about the Enderheart. "Magic," he lied. "Anyway, do you have a house?"
"Yep," replied Jack. "It's a short distance from here. Let's go. Come on, Blizzard." The little puppy trotted behind Jack. Kyle followed.
The more they travelled, the colder it got. The tundra was freezing! Kyle felt like he was going to freeze to death. "We're here!" Jack announced. "Don't worry, it's nice and warm. Come on in." Kyle went inside.
"You have a nice house," he complimented.
"Thanks," Jack said. "It took me awhile to build, though." Blizzard curled up on the fuzzy red carpet by a roaring fire. "There's a spare bedroom in the back.
"Kyle nodded and strolled down the hall. His room looked nice. He had several paintings, a nice warm bed, windows, and a chest to store his belongings.
Jack was waiting for him back in the living room. "Do you like your room?" he asked.
"Yes," replied Kyle. "How long have you been here?"
"About two years," Jack answered. "One day, I just woke up and I was here. What about you?"
"I've lived in this place for sixteen years, my whole life," said Kyle. "I think I remember my father just woke up here, too. It seems a bit odd."
"It is," Jack agreed. "Is your dad still alive?"
"I don't know," Kyle shrugged. "He left when I was a baby to kill this guy named Herobrine. He never came back.""Herobrine?" Jack asked. "I've heard of him, but I don't know who he is."
"He's some evil person that wants to take control of this place," Kyle explained. "He's the one who brought the monsters here." Kyle looked out the window just to see the sun begin to lower into the horizon.
"How about we get some shut-eye?" Jack suggested. "We'll talk more tomorrow."
"Alright, goodnight," said Kyle.
"Goodnight, Kyle," Jack said back.
Chapter 6: A Warning
Kyle had a peaceful sleep. He awoke to sunlight flooding his room. Blizzard greeted him in the hallway. Together, they walked to the living room. Jack was lounging on his rose red sofa. "It's about time you woke up!" he greeted. "Are you ready for some hunting? I'm kind of low on food at the moment."
"Sure," Kyle answered. "I don't have any weapons, though."
"I have a spare bow and some arrows in the basement," Jack said. Kyle nodded and opened the basement door. He descended down the stone brick stairs. A lever hung from the left wall. Kyle pulled it.
Instantly, several redstone lamps lit up the dark room. Kyle approached the chest in the back. Inside, he found many ingots, wood planks, sticks, wool, cobblestone, and a bow with a pack of arrows. He grabbed the bow and arrows.
As he turned, the lights went out. "What the-?" Kyle couldn't see a thing. Suddenly, two white, glowing objects lit up by the stairs. He could hear evil laughter. The lights turned back on and another person was standing in the basement.
"Who are you?" Kyle asked.
"I am Herobrine," the person announced. "This is your warning. Leave now. If you don't, I will send my monsters on you. You are being hunted, Kyle." After the last sentence, He disappeared. Kyle rushed up the stairs, not turning back.
"You were in there for a long time," Jack acknowledged as Kyle shut the door.
"We have to leave!" Kyle exclaimed.
"What are you talking about?" Jack stood up from the sofa.
"It's Herobrine!" Jack yelped. "He was in the basement! He, he told me that I'm being hunted! If we don't leave now, he'll send the monsters on us!"
"You're making this up!" Jack refused to believe it.
"Trust me, we have to go," Kyle pleaded.
"Alright, if you really are sure," Jack agreed. "Where should we go?"
"Do you know of any safe places?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," Jack answered. "There's a village a couple miles from here."
"Great, let's go!" Kyle exclaimed. They barreled out the door, Blizzard at their heels. Fresh snow was falling from the chilling air. Across from them, Herobrine stood atop a cliff. A cruel smile slithered across his scarred face.
Chapter 7: On the Run
Jack led the way through the cold woods. The frosty snow was getting deeper as they went. Blizzard was striding on top of it as if it wasn't there, while Jack and Kyle were knee-deep in it.
"We're almost there!" Jack announced. "There's about one mile until we reach the desert where the village is." Kyle could feel a dark presence somewhere nearby. He looked over his shoulder. There was nothing.
Black shapes began lurking in the trees. Kyle gulped and grasped his bow, ready for an attack.
~~~~
Herobrine had moved to another hill. He could now clearly see the two boys and the dog. A creeper came up to him. "Masssster, they are escaping!"
"I know!" Herobrine snapped. "All is going according to my plan! Tell the other monsters to pursue them, except the skeletons. Tell them to find a high area and shoot them down."
"Asssss you wissssh, Massssster," the creeper nodded and departed towards the campsite where the monsters were positioned.
~~~~
"I think the monsters are coming after us!" Kyle shouted. By now, Jack was far ahead of him, his black hair, flying wildly in the breeze.
"How can you tell?" Jack yelled back. An arrow suddenly landed to Kyle's left.
"An arrow almost hit me!" he panicked.
"Don't worry, we'll make it!" Jack assured him. Another arrow slammed into a tree trunk on the left of Kyle. Loud screeching was heard close behind.
"Spiders!" Kyle warned. "Get ready for a fight." He turned and let an arrow fly. It landed on a red eye, belonging to the lead spider. It hissed and continued scurrying across the snow. Kyle's second arrow knocked it down.
"I see the desert up ahead!" Jack yelled. Kyle took down another spider. About five of them were left. His mouth drooped open as he spotted creepers and zombies in a number over one hundred following closely behind the massive arachnids.Jack tugged on his shoulder and continued to run, dragging Kyle behind him. Blizzard was already ten meters from the scorching sand. A creeper caught up and unleashed an enormous explosion. Kyle and Jack were flung to the ground.
A group of zombies stuttered towards them. "We're doomed!" Jack cried.
"Stay back!" commanded a strong voice. Kyle recognized the Snow Golems marching in front of him. They hurled snowballs at the beasts. They were weak, but very effective. A spider pounced onto a Golem and ripped it to shreds with its sharp fangs. Two other Golems took it down.
A zombie stormed over carrying a torch. He chucked it towards the attackers. The Golem that was hit exploded into a pile of snow. The leader of the Golems approached Kyle. "You must go," he said. "We cannot hold them for long. Get to safety!" Kyle nodded and got to his feet. He pulled up Jack and they ran for the desert, another arrow landing just where they were sitting.
Chapter 8: Safe... For Now
Kyle took one last look at the battle. Only four Snow Golems were left fighting the monsters. He wished he could've stayed and helped, but knew he could've been killed. He turned back to the burning desert he was standing in.
"Come on, Kyle!" Jack shouted. Kyle jogged back to his friend. Blizzard's tongue stuck out of her dry mouth and sagged in the air.
"How far is the village?" Kyle asked.
"It's just over this hill," Jack answered. He began climbing the sandstone hill. Blizzard bounded beside him. Kyle trudged close behind. He hated deserts. The heat was unbearable!
Just as Jack had told him, several buildings were clumped together just fifty paces ahead of him. "We made it," he said.
The journey down the hill was much easier. Blizzard charged across the sand. Jack picked up his pace, running after the wild dog. Kyle walked because he was tired.
"Welcome to our village," a man with an incredibly long nose said as he greeted the boys. "How long will you be staying?"
"I don't know," Jack answered. "I think we'll be here for a day or two."
"Great!" the villager cheered. "There's a spare house in the back of the village. Come with me."
Jack, Kyle, and Blizzard followed the villager through the gravel streets. Other villagers watched them as they passed by. They all had long noses as well.
"Here we are," the villager announced. A house made with a combo of wood, wood planks, and cobblestone sat in front of them. "It's not much, but it's livable. If you need anything, we have a church, library, and blacksmith. My name is George. I am the mayor."
"Thank you, George," said Jack. Kyle wandered inside their temporary home.
"Is it safe here?" Kyle asked.
"Oh yeah," Jack answered as he walked through the door. "Some of the villagers are great warriors. Plus, they have an Iron Golem to protect them."
"I've never seen an Iron Golem before!" Kyle exclaimed.
"They're huge things," Jack explained. "They are very powerful. An Iron Golem is a great friend, but a powerful enemy."
"Now I feel safer," Kyle said.
"That's good," said Jack. "What should we do?"
"I want to meet the Golem first," Kyle suggested.
"Alright, let's go," Jack said. "Stay here, Blizzard." He tossed a pork chop at the pup. It leapt into the air and caught the savory meat in its mouth. Jack and Kyle left the house, leaving the door unlocked.
Chapter 9: The Golem and the Blacksmith
Jack and Kyle strolled around the village. "He should be around here," Jack notified Kyle. As they turned a corner, they saw him.The gigantic Iron Golem was patrolling the streets. Mossy vines wrapped around his right shoulder. Bright red eyes flashed like lasers in the sunlight.
"Whoa," Kyle admired the creature.
"Hello, travelers," the guardian greeted in a loud, rumbling voice.
"Hello," Jack waved.
"Why have you come to see me?" it asked.
"My friend here has never seen an Iron Golem before," Jack gestured towards Kyle.
"Come with me," the Golem ordered. The two boys followed the enormous creature to the flat plains past the village. "This is where I practice," the Golem said.
"What do you practice?" Kyle asked.
"Fighting," the Golem answered. He led the boys down to a large pit. Moss stone covered the floors. After the Golem pulled a lever, a cobblestone ceiling covered them. The area went dark. A blue cage was in the corner. The Golem took a torch off the top. "Stay back," it warned.
After about ten seconds a full-sized zombie emerged from the cage. The Golem threw it into the air. Kyle was amazed. The zombie landed only to be thrown up again. After it died, another spawned. The Golem easily took care of it. After killing about four zombies, the Golem placed the torch back on the cage.
"Is that a zombie spawner?" Jack asked. The Golem nodded. "I've always wanted to mess around with one of those!"
"You're a great fighter," Kyle blurted out.
"Thank you," the Golem smiled. He pulled the lever. Sunlight poured back into the area. "Goodbye, humans."
"Goodbye, Iron Golem!" Kyle and Jack exclaimed. They returned to the village.
~~~~
"What now?" Kyle asked.
"Let's go see that blacksmith George told us about," Jack suggested. They strutted past a small well made of cobblestone and wood fence pieces. They saw a building that was different from the others. They could see iron bars, furnaces, and lava."That looks like the blacksmith's building," Kyle said. Jack nodded and led the way inside.
"Hello, are you the blacksmith?" Jack asked.
"Why, yes I am!" the villager replied in a cheery voice. "What can I help you with?"
"We need some swords and armor," Kyle said.
"What do you have to trade?" the blacksmith questioned.
"I have 7 iron ingots, 3 bread, and 2 leather," Jack said, pulling them out of his pocket.
"I have 4 wheat, 3 bones, and 5 pork chops," Kyle added. He felt the Enderheart in his pocket, but didn't want to tell the blacksmith.
"Alright, that will get you a set of iron armor, a spare iron helmet and boots, a leather shirt and pants, plus two stone swords," the blacksmith said.
"That would be perfect!" Jack agreed. They turned in their items. The blacksmith took them and left to get the armor and swords.
After receiving the weapons, Jack and Kyle left the blacksmith. The sun began to lower a bit. "We're losing sunlight," Kyle pointed out. They returned home just as night came. Blizzard was already asleep.
Chapter 10: A New Kind of Monster
Kyle woke up early. He yawned and sat up on his wool bed. Blizzard lifted up his head, and then realizing that nothing was wrong, went back to sleep. Kyle went over to the chest in the back and made himself a platter of fresh bread, juicy apples, and delicious watermelon. Jack woke a few minutes later. Kyle gave him a platter of the same foods and they ate at the table. "What are we going to do today?" Jack wondered.
"I don't know," Kyle replied. "Maybe we should walk around and ask people if they need help with anything."
"I don't have any better ideas," Jack said. He took the last bite of his loaf of bread. Blizzard got up and leapt onto the window. He stared out into the village. He started barking.
"Blizzard, get down!" Kyle commanded. Blizzard looked at Kyle, but continued barking. Jack picked him and sat him down in his bed. The dog's tail was wagging. Knock, knock, knock."Someone's at the door," Jack noticed.
"I'll get it," Kyle volunteered. He strolled over to the door and opened it. "Dad?"
"Kyle, I've been looking all over for you!" the man at the door exclaimed.
"Is it really you, Dad?" Kyle asked. The man did look like his dad in the picture in his old home.
"Yes, Kyle," Steve answered. "May I come in?"
"Of course," Kyle ushered him inside their temporary house in the village
"Hello, there," Steve greeted Jack, who was still eating. "I am Kyle's father, but you can call me Steve."
"Hi, I'm Jack," Jack said. Blizzard leapt out of her bed and growled at Steve. "It's okay, boy," Jack assured his pet. Blizzard sat back down, but continued to stare at the stranger.
"It's over, son," Steve explained. "The monsters are no more."
"So Herobrine is dead?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," Steve nodded. "Now, do you still have the Enderheart?"Kyle showed his father the purple item. "Yes," he replied.
"I need it back, please," Steve demanded.
"Jacob told me you don't want it," Kyle recalled.
"I didn't want it," Steve said, "but I want it now.
"Blizzard barked and pounced on Kyle's father. He screamed in agony. "Help me, son!" Steve yelled. Kyle pulled Blizzard off of his dad. "Ugh, thank you," Steve said. "Please, give me the heart!"
"You're not really my dad!" Kyle backed away.
"GIVE IT TO ME!!!!" he shouted.
"Never!" Kyle refused. Steve roared with anger and transformed into a black shadowy beast. Long, dagger-like claws formed from his fingertips. He laughed evilly and stepped towards Kyle.
Jack, reacting quickly, grabbed his bow and fired a broad arrow at the attacker. It hit him in the stomach. Blizzard charged and smashed into his legs, toppling him over. Kyle, as fast as a spider, drew his sword and pointed the blade at the monster."Who are you?" Kyle demanded. The beast chuckled.
"You got lucky, boy!" the fake Steve snarled. "Next time, when your idiot friend and stupid dog aren't around, you'll be dead!" He laughed again and disappeared into a black mist.
Chapter 11: The Ender Sword
Kyle fell on to the floor, sweating like mad. "What was that all about?" he panted.
"One thing's for sure," Jack said. "that monster was nothing that I have seen before! Herobrine must really want you dead!" Kyle pulled himself into a sitting position.
"How did it get past the Golem?" he questioned.
"It looked like your father," Jack explained. "I don't think it noticed. Perhaps that thing is some sort of doppelganger."
"You may be right," Kyle agreed. "Let's see if we can find out more in the library."
"Good idea!" Jack agreed. They left the house, leaving Blizzard to watch over things.
~~~~
"Alright, let's see if we can find anything," Kyle said. Jack nodded and they each scanned a shelf.
"I found something!" Jack exclaimed about a minute later. He pulled out a hardcover, yellow book titled Legendary Beasts of Minecraftia.
"Try and find something about what we just fought," Kyle suggested. Jack turned to a page that read "Shape Shifters."
Shape Shifters are incredibly dangerous. They are also very rare. A Shape Shifter can take the form of anything it chooses and can inherit the life form's abilities. If one changed into a Spider, it could climb walls and make webs.
When they're not in any form, they are tall, black, faceless beasts with long, dangly claws. At any time, they can disappear, leaving a black fog in their way.
They didn't need to read anymore. "That's it!" Kyle concluded. "That was a Shape Shifter."
"No doubt about it," Jack nodded. "By the way, didn't that thing mention an Enderheart or something?" Kyle nodded. "We should probably find something on that, too."
"Yeah, I've always wanted to find out more about it," Kyle smiled. He went back to the shelves and came back with Magical Items and Weapons.
"I know a lot about it already," Kyle said as he skimmed through the book. "I found something," he announced a few seconds later.
The Enderheart can also be made into the most powerful weapon imaginable. To make the Ender Sword, you must stab the heart with a sword and let the purple liquids squirt onto the blade. Once enough liquid is added, the sword will glow purple, creating the Ender Sword.
"Sweet!" Jack cheered.
"I think we've read enough," Kyle said. "Let's make the sword!" Jack jumped with happiness. Before they left, Kyle smiled as he noticed another book, The Adventures of Steve, written by Jacob.
~~~~
Kyle and Jack sprinted back into the house. Blizzard leapt up, tail wagging. "Where's my sword?" Kyle asked.
"I'll get it!" Jack called as he ran to the back of the house. He heaved the heavy stone blade onto his shoulder and handed it to Kyle. He placed it on the crafting table and took out the Enderheart.
"Here we go," Kyle took in a deep breath. He closed his eyes and plunged the sword into the Enderheart. Purple blood splashed all over them.
"Ack!" Jack screeched.
"It's working!" Kyle cheered. The liquid sunk into the sword and the blade turned purple. "The Ender Sword!"
"Hello, Kyle," the Ender Sword greeted.
Chapter 12: The Power
"Who said that?" Kyle asked franticly. He searched the room, but only Jack and Blizzard were there.
"I did," called the sword.
"Cool," Jack admired. "The sword can talk!"
"I can only talk for the first five minutes of my life," the Ender Sword informed them. "That means I have to tell you how to use me before I lose my voice."
"We're listening," Kyle said.
"In order to use my special powers, you must speak a command," the sword explained.
"That's it?" Jack asked.
"No," the sword replied. Jack frowned. "You must believe in yourself."
"Just like I couldn't fly at first," Kyle compared. "I had to believe I could fly and really focus on it."
"Exactly!" said the sword. "There's one more thing I need to tell you."
"What is it?" Kyle asked.
"I need you to tell me your name and your father's name," the Ender Sword answered.
Kyle hesitated. Why would the sword need to know that? "I am Kyle, Son of Steve," he finally spoke.
"Kyle, Son of Steve," the sword repeated, "do you solemnly swear to use me for good and not evil?"
Kyle nodded. "I do."
"Then, it is finished," the Ender Sword announced. "You are my master, now. No one else can use my power, unless you tell me to."
"Sweet!" Kyle cheered. "Wait, I have a question." Silence. "Hello?" No answer.
"He's lost his ability to speak," Jack said.
"Oh, well," Kyle shrugged. "Now it's time to practice!"
~~~~
Kyle and Jack strolled over to the Iron Golem, who was off patrolling the village. "Hello again," Kyle greeted.
"Hello, the Iron Golem said.
"Can we use your zombie spawner for a little bit?" Jack asked.
"Sure, what for?" questioned the Golem.
"We want to practice our sword skills," Jack replied.
"Alright," the Golem allowed. "Just be careful."
Jack and Kyle jogged over to the pit where the secret dungeon was. Jack pulled the lever and the ceiling shifted to cover them. He picked the torch off the spawner and stood back. "Are you ready?" he asked Kyle.
"I was born ready!" Kyle called. Suddenly, three zombies appeared in the back of the dungeon. They took notice of the two boys. Growling, the stumbled towards Kyle. Kyle swung the Ender Sword at the first zombie. In one swift stroke, its head flew off its shoulders and was tossed against the wall.
"Whoa," Jack gasped. Kyle took on the next zombie, and slew it with only one hit, just like the first one. The third was just as easy. "That sword is amazing!" Jack yelled.
"I know," Kyle nodded just as two more zombies appeared.
~~~~
After five minutes, Kyle decided he was finished. He placed the torch back on the spawner, pulled the lever, and followed Jack out of the dungeon.
"That sword has real power!" Jack congratulated. "I wish I had one!"
"Let's work on some new skills," Kyle decided. Jack agreed.
"Remember, just give it a command," Jack recalled.
"Right," Kyle said. He focused really hard. "Turn me invisible!" Nothing happened. Then, he remembered to focus. "Turn me invisible!" Instantly, the area around him turned white. Everything was blurry.
"Where'd you go?" Jack panicked.
"Make me visible!" Kyle commanded. Everything returned to normal.
"You're lucky!" Jack exclaimed. "I could not see you at all!" Just then, the sun began to set. "It's turning dark. Let's go to bed."
Chapter 13: Zombie Siege!
Kyle woke up in a strange building. Dark red bricks made the walls, ceilings, and floors. He began to walk down a long corridor. A maniacal laughter echoed throughout the area. Kyle turned a corner.
A black skeleton stood in front of him. It held a long, intimidating sword at him. "Stay back!" Kyle warned. He brought his Ender Sword into view and pointed it at the monster. The skeleton didn't seem to notice. It just stared straight ahead.
Kyle continued walking. The skeleton paid no attention as he walked by. "What is this place?" Kyle asked out loud. He kept walking.
As Kyle ascended up a flight of stairs, he could hear voices. He picked up his pace and ran down a hallway. Around the next corner, he spotted...
"Dad?" Kyle asked. Steve was chained to a wall. Bloody scars covered his right cheek. "Dad?" Kyle repeated. His father did not answer. Kyle reached out to touch Steve.
Suddenly, the laughing returned. Kyle spun around to see Herobrine glaring at him. Actually, he was looking at Steve.
"Are you willing to tell me?" Herobrine questioned.
"Never," Steve answered.
"I warned you, Steve!" Herobrine hissed. He pulled out his diamond sword.
"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!" Kyle screamed.
~~~~
Jack shook Kyle, waking him up. "Come on, we have to get out of here!" Jack ordered.
"Why?" Kyle shot out of bed.
"There's a zombie siege!" Jack panicked. He scooped up Blizzard in his arms and rushed out the door. Kyle unsheathed his sword and hurried after him. Blazing fires were destroying the houses. Villagers were running around, panicking.
A moaning noise snapped Kyle into focus. He turned and swung without looking, knocking a zombie to the ground. Two more came around a corner. Kyle took them down just as easily.
"We need to get out of here!" Jack yelled .
"Hold on," Kyle said. "We need to find the Golem!" He took off through the village. Two zombies mauled a villager and transformed him into one of them. All three of them stumbled towards Kyle.
He slaughtered two of them, but the third took him to the ground. A stone sword slammed into the monster. Kyle looked up to see the blacksmith.
"Save yourselves!" he shouted. "Get out of here!" He barreled in the opposite direction. Kyle got up and found the Iron Golem in the distance.
"Come on!" he exclaimed and charged towards the Golem. Five zombies were surrounding it. Kyle leapt into action, cutting down zombie after zombie. The Golem took down the last one.
"Are you alright?" Kyle asked.
"Yes," the Golem replied.
"We have to evacuate!" Jack said.
"No," the Golem refused. "I must defend village!"
"You'll die!" Kyle said.
"I must do it," Golem persisted. "Go."
Kyle tried to speak, but Jack pulled him away from the burning buildings. Tears fled down Kyle's cheeks.
Spoiler problem![spoiler='problem'][/spoiler]
Comments don't make the story, Not even views.
I don't get comments this fast on my story...
The new chapters are OK, but they need more detail.
*Insert signature here*
Alright. I'll take your advice, but at least I got 2 more comments!
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Curse PremiumPlease add more description. It helps the reader to get involved in the plot, the characters, the environment, the mood... heck, it makes everything more believable. At this point, I don't know what the characters look like, or what their personalities are. I don't have a very good sense of where they are, where they're going, or how much time has passed (not stuff like Kyle's 16th birthday; I'm talking more about things like: How long did it take for Kyle to run away? Where the heck did he go before Jack found him? "Kyle wandered around for a long time" is quite vague.) Aside from adding new details, you can also use description to supplement the actual actions taking place. You could do any number of things. It would just be nice if there was a greater sense of the surroundings to supplement the story, so it isn't just words on a [web]page. I'm not saying that you don't use description at all; it's just that it's only used in certain bits of the story, and the description that is used feels... okay, this is becoming progressively more difficult to explain.
I'll just move onto the detailed bits. Some of these may be story-breaking. I recognize that, having already settled on a plot and written the first few chapters, you may not address some of these issues specifically, but I hope you keep these in mind in future writing:
You may or may not already know this, but the Steve vs. Herobrine plot has been used frequently. ("frequently" being a euphemism) I don't mind Herobrine as a villain per-se, so long as the author puts their own spin on him, but when Steve is thrown into the mix, and the dialogue between the two rivals is short and lacking of context, the first thing I think is: "deja vu."
Of course Herobrine wants to kill Steve! He is evil, right? It's kind of an insult to Steve's intelligence for Herobrine (or, rather, Steve's subconsciousness) to say "I will kill you now." It would me more interesting if Herobrine said something to the effect that "Hey, I discovered something that's a game-changer; the stalemate in our rivalry won't last long!"
Steve is definitely OP if he's the only thing standing between "the people" and all those monsters. Plus, if Steve is so important to the people's safety, then why did he leave? Steve could use some sort of weakness, as well as a better explanation why he's leaving all those people to die. The safety of his own family is a selfish excuse by itself.
Skeletons don't have eyelids...
I find it difficult to believe that Steve would simply refuse to use the Enderheart, considering the fact that he can already keep all the monsters away from wherever he was (where is that, by the way?). It's more like he chose not to use it. On the other hand, I find it strange that Steve would refuse to use it when it could have been used to defeat Herobrine.
Also, it seems like Kyle is falling into a sort-of "chosen one" role. I get that Kyle is Steve's son and that he's supposed to be powerful, but if he falls into his role quickly [in other words, becomes OP], then the story could rush by, and it would feel like there's very little conflict, up until the very end.
Speaking of the end, I predict that Steve and Herobrine will engage in some sort of epic battle, but then Steve will get incapacitated, or choose not to fight for some other reason. Then Kyle and Herobrine will engage in some sort of epic battle in which Kyle wins.
Regardless of whether or not that is the actual ending, you'll have to work out the pieces of the plot in between to keep things interesting.
You'd have to live under a rock to be a Minecraftian and yet not know who Herobrine is.
And that is all of the opinions/advice/feedback I have to give. Use it how you wish.
So far I have revised and edited the Prologue, plus chapters 1 and 2.
This could easily be turned into several paragraphs.
"Maybe," Jacob answered. "I don't know."
"Do I have a mother?" Kyle questioned. Jacob turned to face his friend's child.
"No," Jacob said sadly. "She died in child birth."
Ever since Steve left, the world turned dark. The monsters returned and the people lived in constant terror. Kyle was kept secret from the monsters. He had something that could be the end of them and Jacob didn't want them to know about it.
Why can't Jacob use the EnderHeart? Did the world actually turn dark or is that saying that it was filled with evil and monsters? There is a ton of detail in these four sentences that you have just left out.
A few days earlier, a creeper stormed into the house and questioned Jacob while Kyle hid under a table. Herobrine, when he had resurrected the creatures, had given them the ability to speak.
Describe the encounter with the creeper! It doesn't really make sense that you don't
"Why do I always have to hide?" Kyle asked Jacob after the creeper left. His eyes sparkled with a mix of emotions. For a second, Jacob actually thought it was Steve. Kyle had his father's eyes and face.
This seems to be an afterthought added in, Understandable though not very well described.
"It's a secret," was the answer.
"Can't you tell me?" Kyle urged him.
"When you're older," said Jacob.
Always happy to.