Okay... well, I decided to randomly write a poem one day.
Mm... any feedback would be appreciated.
I'm in a world alone, And all I find, Are cubic meter blocks, Of every kind.
So I put my pick to work, Within a cave, And pray for all the dang- -ers that I brave.
And waking up each day, To find the sun, Peeking out above It shines its rays.
The creatures by my door, Just burn and moan, Remind me in this world, I'm forever alone.
Waiting for the end, Of my strife, And with it, I will find Myself a Better life.
Because that is all I am, And all I was, All I'll ever be, All because, It can be summed Up from within, Because this is the life. That never ends.
And I talk and I talk, But no one is ever there. And I walk, and I walk, But I end up nowhere.
And now I know the truth, And all it brings Are heartfelt memories Of beautiful things. And realization in the end, That this is a life that never... Ends.
All done.
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OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Okay... well, I decided to randomly write a poem one day.
Mm... any feedback would be appreciated.
I'm in a world alone, And all I find, Are cubic meter blocks, Of every kind.
So I put my pick to work, Within a cave, And pray for all the dang- -ers that I brave.
And waking up each day, To find the sun, Peeking out above It shines its rays.
The creatures by my door, Just burn and moan, Remind me in this world, I'm forever alone.
Waiting for the end, Of my strife, And with it, I will find Myself a Better life.
Because that is all I am, And all I was, All I'll ever be, All because, It can be summed Up from within, Because this is the life. That never ends.
And I talk and I talk, But no one is ever there. And I walk, and I walk, But I end up nowhere.
And now I know the truth, And all it brings Are heartfelt memories Of beautiful things. And realization in the end, That this is a life that never... Ends.
All done.
Wow. That's actually really good. So I suppose by "life that never ends" you mean that the main character in Minecraft always respawns. Funny. I always thought that Steve really enjoyed doing what he did everyday, but I suppose one way of looking at it is that he's all alone and has no one to talk to and he can never die so he's basically stuck leading a meaningless life. Good work!
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
The rhythm in this poem is really good. It almost sounds as if it could be a song.
Oh, yeah. Thanks... I like to have some sort of rhythm to my poems, the point that kind of annoys me is where he's talking about how he walks/walks and talks/talks, but I suppose that could be the... um... the ABCBDBB of the song. Whatever it's called.
Yes, yes I was. That's why the syllables were off. I believe that it's called the refrain, that part near the ending where the rhythm is thrown out of wack.
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OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Woah. I found you, poem, again! Now I will resurrect you so that all may bask in your stupidity!
...
XDI really need to write TAG some more. Bye, I think.
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OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
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Mm... any feedback would be appreciated.
I'm in a world alone,
And all I find,
Are cubic meter blocks,
Of every kind.
So I put my pick to work,
Within a cave,
And pray for all the dang-
-ers that I brave.
And waking up each day,
To find the sun,
Peeking out above
It shines its rays.
The creatures by my door,
Just burn and moan,
Remind me in this world,
I'm forever alone.
Waiting for the end,
Of my strife,
And with it,
I will find
Myself a
Better life.
Because that is all I am,
And all I was,
All I'll ever be,
All because,
It can be summed
Up from within,
Because this is the life.
That never ends.
And I talk and I talk,
But no one is ever there.
And I walk, and I walk,
But I end up nowhere.
And now I know the truth,
And all it brings
Are heartfelt memories
Of beautiful things.
And realization in the end,
That this is a life that never...
Ends.
All done.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Wow. That's actually really good. So I suppose by "life that never ends" you mean that the main character in Minecraft always respawns. Funny. I always thought that Steve really enjoyed doing what he did everyday, but I suppose one way of looking at it is that he's all alone and has no one to talk to and he can never die so he's basically stuck leading a meaningless life. Good work!
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Curse Premium{I mean... POEM!}
Oh, yeah. Thanks... I like to have some sort of rhythm to my poems, the point that kind of annoys me is where he's talking about how he walks/walks and talks/talks, but I suppose that could be the... um... the ABCBDBB of the song. Whatever it's called.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
That or i am just very sleep deprived.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Just went from maybe 15 chapters to at least 41...
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
My max update is like three chapters.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
I don't update w/ chapter count because chapters can be one-two pages long, I concentrate on how much I am adding to the story in total.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Slowly. Slowly.. Slowly...
You should read it and tell me whats wrong with it.
(It would give me something to do.)
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
...
XDI really need to write TAG some more. Bye, I think.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."