Thanks! He was dreaming about being on a ship and it was meant to be ominous. The Overture was an initial explanation of what the Aether was and how far technology had advanced as well as a short event that was narrated from the 3rd-person point of view of a completely unrelated character. The 3rd-person narration in the Overture was to introduce the city of Volastra, where many later events will take place, and the Endermen. I don't want to spoil too much, but later in the story the Moonlight Palace is going to be investigating a series of murders just like that one committed by the Endermen, and Vikram is going to realize that the murders are being committed on the orders of the main villain, who is an agent of the Void. But I shouldn't say anymore. I'm glad you enjoyed the overture and the first chapter
Now to work on my cryochamber... So i can freeze myself till this story is done.
Now to work on my cryochamber... So i can freeze myself till this story is done.
Not sure I would do that. You could very well end up here long after the sun goes supernova and the Earth has become an arctic wasteland. Just kidding. I'll try to get the next few chapters out as quickly as I can.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Interesting indeed. Looking forward to the next chapters,for now your inspiration is at a godlike level,if you would ask me.
Thanks! It's nice to know people like my story. I don't know if I would say "godlike", but thanks nonetheless and I hope you like the next chapters as much as you liked these.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
I already said this once before but it baffles me how a story with only an Overture and a first chapter is almost a "Hot Topic" already. In a good way, though, I guess. If only the old Literature subsection had been so active.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
The Endermen should be able to...
Story idea has stricken me.
It's super effective!
See you around!!!
Do what? Teleport? They can, to a limited extent. Don't leave me hanging! But the Endermen aren't the main villains here. There's another one, a kind of half-Herobrine (not sure if I'll use that name, considering it's gained kind of a bad reputation in the Literature subsection even though it's occasionally used effectively), with much more interesting powers. And magical blood. But I won't spoil that now.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Actually, I will tell you... just because you'd be able to write it much more effectively than I would be able to...
Endermen can convert people into more endermen...? Makes the entire thing a nightmare scenario.
Plus, due to their abilities (TP), they are slowly putting more and more strain on the dimensional fabric, eventually ripping it and plunging everything into the void...
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Actually, I will tell you... just because you'd be able to write it much more effectively than I would be able to...
Endermen can convert people into more endermen...? Makes the entire thing a nightmare scenario.
Plus, due to their abilities (TP), they are slowly putting more and more strain on the dimensional fabric, eventually ripping it and plunging everything into the void...
Ah. I thought you might say that. See, I have a similar idea for the Endermen.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
I think the amount of effort you put into this story really shows because of how refined it feels. The word choice is spot-on, which really helps the story flow and gives the description optimal vividness and memorableness [gah, spellcheck] within the space used. The plot and structure of the story have a sense of grandness to them that you have pulled off well. As for Chapter One specifically, I also found the dialogue quite entertaining.
I also agree with above post that you really need to lay off the spoilers.
I think the amount of effort you put into this story really shows because of how refined it feels. The word choice is spot-on, which really helps the story flow and gives the description optimal vividness and memorableness [gah, spellcheck] within the space used. The plot and structure of the story have a sense of grandness to them that you have pulled off well. As for Chapter One specifically, I also found the dialogue quite entertaining.
I also agree with above post that you really need to lay off the spoilers.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I really tried to refine every part of the story with this one. I also really tried to make the description an integral part of it. I hope you enjoy the next few chapters. And yes, I shouldn't spoil too much, but I wanted to tell someone about that. i'll delete it and send it in a P. M. But yeah, thanks. Also I'm glad the part I intended to be humorous was actually funny.
Also, I already said this, but i really like your banner asanetargoss. It keeps reminding me, I need to make a banner for Dark Aether! Maybe over the weekend when I have spare time.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Okay, I didn't really want to bump this before Chapter 3 came out (well, I did, but that's against the etiquette of the Literature subsection most of the time :P), but it looks like I got a lot of views and I don't want people to think Chapter Two is just going to be the other half of Chapter One. The reason I moved it is because Chapter One was actually very large by my standards for an average chapter (nearly 4,000 words), and I wanted to keep a steady pacing for each chapter, which I didn't think I would easily be able to follow up on. So, to keep that pacing, I split the original Chapter One: Tempest, into two chapters, Chapter One: Tempest and Chapter Two: Waking Nightmares. So that's my explanation for that. Hopefully no one will get confused by that. Also, Chapter 3 is going pretty well and I'll try to post it some time this week.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Apparently someone picked "Kane" as one of their favorite characters for the poll without even knowing who he is yet. That's a good sign. His name is the title of Chapter 3, by the way. Without spoiling anything, I'll say I think he'll play a pretty major role in the story. I just found that interesting. Is it his name? If so I'll say I really liked it too.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Apparently someone picked "Kane" as one of their favorite characters for the poll without even knowing who he is yet. That's a good sign. His name is the title of Chapter 3, by the way. Without spoiling anything, I'll say I think he'll play a pretty major role in the story. I just found that interesting. Is it his name? If so I'll say I really liked it too.
I liked the name and was to lazy to reread the rest of your story to find out who he was.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
Good thing i was too lazy. Whats the ETA on the next chapter?
Well I might have finished it today but I took a break to write my entry for this weeks Short Story Contest. Also I've been really busy practicing for my high school entry test lately so I haven't had much time to write. I think I'll probably have it up sometime this week though.
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Not sure I would do that. You could very well end up here long after the sun goes supernova and the Earth has become an arctic wasteland.
*Insert signature here*
Thanks! It's nice to know people like my story. I don't know if I would say "godlike", but thanks nonetheless and I hope you like the next chapters as much as you liked these.
Story idea has stricken me.
It's super effective!
See you around!!!
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Do what? Teleport? They can, to a limited extent. Don't leave me hanging!
Endermen can convert people into more endermen...? Makes the entire thing a nightmare scenario.
Plus, due to their abilities (TP), they are slowly putting more and more strain on the dimensional fabric, eventually ripping it and plunging everything into the void...
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Ah. I thought you might say that. See, I have a similar idea for the Endermen.
But that sounds... like world spanning epicness.
(And time spanning. Never forget time... XD)
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
-
View User Profile
-
View Posts
-
Send Message
Curse PremiumI also agree with above post that you really need to lay off the spoilers.
Probably a good idea.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I really tried to refine every part of the story with this one. I also really tried to make the description an integral part of it. I hope you enjoy the next few chapters. And yes, I shouldn't spoil too much, but I wanted to tell someone about that. i'll delete it and send it in a P. M. But yeah, thanks. Also I'm glad the part I intended to be humorous was actually funny.
Also, I already said this, but i really like your banner asanetargoss. It keeps reminding me, I need to make a banner for Dark Aether! Maybe over the weekend when I have spare time.
*Insert signature here*
That's kind of what I assumed people would think. Didn't want to mislead anyone there.
Well he hasn't actually appeared yet so you wouldn't have found him anyway.
Well I might have finished it today but I took a break to write my entry for this weeks Short Story Contest. Also I've been really busy practicing for my high school entry test lately so I haven't had much time to write. I think I'll probably have it up sometime this week though.