Special thanks to sc1020 for helping me out with some things!
Good news! I've gotten back into writing recently, and I've decided "Hey, why not revive that abandoned fan fiction?" So here I am, writing Chapter 3!
Quote from name=sc1020 »
Hello, writers! This story is part of Minefic: Legacy. This is a story list where you can apply your stories so everyone can see it even better! Simply click the link and fill out an application and see how helpful it is yourself!Until then, happy writing!
In a faraway land named Hypodia, a villainous creature named Malus slaves away. He sat plotting how to take over the Above. He has made maps, weapons, and pictures of what he thought it was like up there. He has been working for ages, as long as he can remember, at this incredible feat. One world was not enough for Malus, no, he wanted more. Studying the movements of creatures above by their distant vibrations, like a bat, he has concluded the Above is a land of many creatures. Another thing he has noticed, which has quite disturbed him, is how the vibrations grow louder sometimes, and are accompanied by sounds of metal striking rock, which disturbed him the most, for these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above; besides the most disturbing of all, the screams that grow louder and louder, and then abruptly stop, as if someone took a noteblock, hit it, and then put their hands on it to stop it from vibrating any more. Then came the fateful day, that one day, when the screams didn't stop. He was working, drawing a new map from some recent vibrations he felt, when he heard the screams. He stopped his work momentarily to wait for them to stop, as they always do. But these screams, they kept growing louder and louder, until they were loudest, as if they were right outside, then suddenly, a few hundred blocks or so away, he heard a loud thump, and then a clank, as if there was something metal hitting the ground. Only then the screams stopped. Cassidy woke to her dogs barking. "Quiet down!", said Cassidy, "I'm coming!". Cassidy walked into her backyard to find all three of her dogs patiently waiting for breakfast. She dug into her inventory looking for three bones to feed her dogs. She found nothing of the sort. "Darn," Cassidy sighs, "I was really hoping to relax today, but I guess I'll have to go into the caves and kill a few skeletons. I need the bones to feed you guys". Unhappy, Cassidy prepares herself to delve into the caves. "Pickaxe, check. Sword, check. Armor, check. Torches, check. Apples, check. Very unhappy mood, check. Yep, I'm ready to go." said Cassidy. Cassidy made her way down to the mineshaft. She was walking to the caves where all the monsters are, the ones she called "The Fightin' Caverns", when she decided she might as well mine and get a bit of exploring done. So she dug down, down, into the Earth. Block by block, Cassidy mined and dug, deeper and deeper. Beads of sweat shining on her forehead, she dug looking for a cave. "Ugh," thought Cassidy, "When will I find this stinking cave!". As this thought crossed her mind, she fell into a rather wide cavern. She saw some far away lava, but no monsters. This puzzled her. From the floor, little black floaty things called void particles rose. That is when Cassidy realized she had reached the bottom of the world and could mine no further. Tired, Cassidy decided to take a break, and sat down on the cold bedrock. While munching on some of the apples she had brought, Cassidy noticed a strange blue light coming from a hole in the ground. The first thing that crossed her mind was that a hole was at the bottom of the world. She did not see this as possible. She went over to investigate, to see if this was just a figment of her imagination, perhaps a hallucination of sorts. As she dipped her head in, all she saw past the blue was black that was blacker than black. Suddenly, Cassidy lost her balance and fell in. In these few seconds before death, Cassidy realized she had fell into the Void. She knew there was no surviving the Void. She braced for death, readied herself. Though she accepted death, she felt like screaming anyways, to hear her voice for the last time. So she screamed an ear piecing, loud scream. Then suddenly the darkness turned to light, and she saw ground rapidly approaching. Time seemed to slow as she reached the ground, striking it fast, but softly as well, and before she blacked out, the last thing she heard was her pick clanking against the ground. Meanwhile, not so far away, Malus worked on his plan to take over the Above, as well as a few other things. He heard the clanks of metal against rock, and paused to listen. A few minutes later, the clanking stopped and instead he heard...is that chewing? Not so long after that, the screams started, but lasted for much longer than he anticipated. Then the screams were, it seemed to him, right outside. Thump! Clank! And then silence.
Cassidy will meet a new friend in Chapter 3! Who will it be? You get to decide! Just fill out the pre-made application form below! Also, the character MUST be good. What are you doing? Stop staring at this message and get character-making!And the winners are...*drumroll*...
Morgan by marquini67 (introduced first)andAssyria by MageofCats (introduced second)
It was a very INCREDIBLY hard decision to make. You all had great characters. I dub you all, Hypodia's Finest Character Makers!
Name:Gender:Appearance:Personality:Power/skill (MUST have one of the two):Bio:Other:I will only be taking two characters for now, and will introduce in later story points.Entries:
FlyingPig6789: Name: Jimmy John IIIGender: MaleAppearance: Two meters tall with dark skin. He has deep blue eyes and a gray miner's outfit.Personality: Always in it for himself. He may act like he is helping you, but he is really helping himself.Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): PowerBio: Jimmy grew up in a poor family. This taught him to survive. When his home mysteriously caved in one night, he set out mining to make himself rich.Other:
sc1020: Name: John "Jack" Grayson (Robin's middle name and last name . I am so obsessed with Teen Titans . But his nickname is different.)Gender: MaleAppearance: Tall and slim. Some of his face is black due to a fire that destroyed his home and family years ago. He has black hair and blue eyes. Personality: An actions-speak-louder type of guy.Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): Has the ability to fly and summon lightning onto his foes. However, he can easily (but not every time) faint after using his power. So he normally will go hand-to-hand.Bio: After the emotionally scarring backstory mentioned before, Jack was, though it was very unlikely, struck by lightning. After respawning, he discovered he could fly and shoot lightning bolts. His goal in life is to find out whoever burned his home and defeat them.Other: to you.
Mage_of_Cats: Name: AssyriaGender: FemaleAppearance: Her long blonde hair cascades over her squared shoulders in obvious contempt of gravity, bringing out the gold in her eyes and contrasting against her bright red lips. Her eyelashes are long and frivolous, as well as being black. She has thin eyebrows, blonde, and these serve to convey her many expressions neatly and quietly. She has a thin, hard line for a mouth, one that seems filled with sadness and looks very out of place with her petite nose cheerfully peering out from her long, skinny face. She usually wears a short-sleeved, long, striped shirt made of spider's webs and dye. For her 'pants', she tends to wear long, usually white, translucent garments. She enjoys wearing little black cat ears on her head. If you asked her how she got them, she wouldn't tell you. Her small hands are lithe and unscarred by battle, with nails short and cut back so that they don't cause discomfort inside of her white, silken gloves that she dons before battle.Personality: Almost depressed, morose, very kind, extremely loyal, doesn't take to people easily (AT ALL).Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): Assyria can freeze things, but only if they are suitably watery. (More than 65% water). She MUST be touching the thing that she wants to freeze, and the ice ring expands by 10% of it's total area every second. Starting area is always 1 inch diameter circle at first point of contact. Cannot freeze things through gloves. Exact temperature of frozen things fluctuates from around -120 degrees Fahrenheit to -80 degrees Fahrenheit and begins to get warmer as soon as she stops touching it. She is not very good at combat, having only trained with the village boys. She does not yet know of her ability.Bio: Waking up in a large crater, surrounded by broken rocks, piles of dirt, burning trees, and miniature waterfalls from the nearby lake, she's rather new to this world and doesn't know where she came from originally. After climbing out of the crater (it was nearly filled up by the lake draining into it,) Assyria noted that the forest she was in ended abruptly to her left. This, of course, caused her to walk in that direction and find herself in a town where she was later accepted as a citizen. A few weeks passed by. She was living with an elderly grandma (to three grandchildren) and ended up becoming quite close to a cute boy that lived next to *her* house. The day that she was determined to ask him to be her boyfriend/whatever they call those things, a group of raiders stormed the (undescribed) town and killed nearly everyone. Assyria didn't see her friend die, but she was pretty sure that he did. She ended up surviving by hiding in the grandma's basement mine and sealing the entrance with some dynamite.This lead to her being trapped in the tunnel and hoping that someone - anyone - would save her. After a day or two of nothing, she decided that no one was coming for her and began to travel further down the (undescribed) mine, only to find a small breach in it's orderly hallways (yay! Description!)She went into this breach to fin Cassidy's mine, and, when looking for the exit, stumbled upon the hole in the world.Other: Assyria is now really upset and sad, possibly depressed, that her caretaker (grandma person/whatever) and her best friend/the person she loved are now dead... or are they? This leads her to hurtling herself into the Void in an attempt to kill herself. marquini67:Name: MorganGender: MaleAppearance: A very tall, seventeen year old boy. Dark brown skin and hazel eyes. He almost always wears a serious face. Thick, black eyebrows. Short black hair. He has a burn mark that races all along his arm from the first time he found out he could use fire. He is also muscular to the point where it's visible. He spawned in wearing a grey t-shirt, black (outside) and red (inside) jacket, and blue jeans. He also wear a bracelet with a diamond attached to it.Personality: He is a very serious and disciplined person. Someone you always see standing up straight and expect to be a veteran. When it comes to other people, he is very protective and will sacrifice almost anything to protect those he cares about. He always tells himself "I have little to sacrifice so why not sacrifice it all?" The only thing that he has to remind him that he has a past is his diamond bracelet. Carved in it, it says "Always Remember -N (a heart is carved around the N)."Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): His overall build and strength give him an advantage over enemies in his way. He can lift his enemies and throw them across a room or sweep heavy items out of the way. He also has the power to summon fire out of his hands. Morgan can only "fire-bend" when he is angry or emotionally stressed. He constantly reminds himself about his necklace which gives him the drive to use fire to his advantage. He can either create his own fire or control heat around him (such as fire from a torch or slowly moving lava).Bio: Arriving at this land, he struggle to find shelter, constantly being attacked by mobs and other survivors that wanted his supplies. He killed to survive but he wasn't a murderer. After a night of hunting for items and food, he came back to his small, wooden hut and found that he had been wearing a bracelet this entire time. He didn't know why so Morgan investigated the bracelet. Solid diamond, beautifully crafted, and special somehow. He turned over the diamond and found what it said. He suddenly felt very sad and angry. His knees buckled and he felt to the ground, sobbing for some unknown reason. At that instant, his hands caught fire. He panicked and tried to find a bucket of water in one of his chests. The moment he touched the chest, it caught fire. His entire hut burnt to the ground and he barely mad it out alive. Morgan jumped into a nearby pond to extinguish himself. He saw the aftermath on his hand and the remains of his house. Since then, he has become a nomad, traveling and never stopping. (You can continue from there.) Other:One night, he stumbled on an abandoned house while traveling to find supplies. Three dogs dead inside and the entire place has been untouched for a while. There were no blood stains so these dogs must have died of hunger. This place must have something me to use, he thought to himself. He checks the chests and they have all been raided. Damn it!He slams the chest in rage and his hands ignite. He gets spooked but realizes that he just has to calm down. He paced his breathing and relaxed. His hands extinguished, as if the flames were never there. He walked outside and saw that the cave next to home had torches lighting the entrance. Curious, he entered the cavern in hopes of finding food or tools. It was dark and too quiet. He thought about his bracelet and his left hand lit up in flames. For some reason, the bracelet was immune to the flames, so was his skin now. Morgan lowered the fire with a thought and continued. Still thinking about whoever "N" was and how they anger him, he found an opening to another cavern. He had no choice but to jump in.He fell for a few seconds and hit some hard, very solid rock that hurt like hell. His knees took must of the impact and he fell to the ground, grabbing his right knee and groaning loudly in pain. He tried to scoot his way to the wall slowly but fell into a hole. He knew what happened. He fell into an endless abyss, certain he would die...
Malus went outside to investigate the source of the scream, thump, and clank. He did not expect to find a girl lying unconscious in the ground. He did not know what to make of this. He assumed that this girl was the source of the sound, because there was nothing else in sight that could of made them. Malus did not expect her to be alive, yet she had a pulse. A realization dawned on Malus, the realization that this girl had come from the Above.Malus scooped up the girl and brought her into his tower, that was made of the darkest brick and tall as the trees of the jungle where he gathered his wood. His plans were to interrogate her about her world that would give him secrets to the ultimate takeover of the Above. He put a chair into a cage he had crafted quite some time ago and sat the girl down. He locked the cage door and patiently waited for her to awaken.
“What? Where am I? What happened? Why does my head hurt so bad?” were the questions that flew through Cassidy’s mind the split second she awoke. As she looked around, she noticed a strange man under a black cloak. She could swear his face was…is that red?
“Where am I?” Cassidy questioned.
“In a cage, you dummy,” responded Malus.
“Well, I know that. I mean where is the cage?” Cassidy said to Malus.
“In my tower,” said Malus.Cassidy proceeded to slap her palm to her forehead.
“Where is the tower located?” she asked slowly, as if talking to a child.
“Sheesh, do they raise you thick in the Above? You are in Hypodia you dummy.” Malus said.
“Where is-oh, never mind.” Cassidy gave up. In the sparse lighting, it was hard to see. When she squinted at the strange man, she noticed that he was nothing more than a dark, flickering shadow.
“What are you?” Cassidy asked questioningly.
“I don’t know. What am I? Perhaps I am your worst nightmare, your greatest fear, your darkest dream. Besides, young lady, it is impolite to ask what before first asking who. I am Malus, Ruler of Hypodia and all who reside in it.” said Malus regally, yet condescendingly.Cassidy had many questions whirring through her mind, but decided he was not the person to ask. She was trying to figure out how to get out of here, when Malus spoke again. “So, now it’s my turn to ask questions. Who are you?” Malus questioned.
“Cassidy. Cassidy Fink.” Replied Cassidy.
“Well, Cassidy Fink. What are you?” Malus asked arrogantly, with a smug smile on his face.
“Errrr, human? What do I look like? Pig?” Cassidy replied, slightly confused.
“Well, you are a bit pink in the face…slightly chubby as well.” Malus retorted. “On the other hand, you do seem too stupid to be a pig. Pigs are smart.”
“Hey!” was Cassidy responded indignantly.
“Anyway, back to business. Where did you come from, how did you get here?”, Malus questioned curiously.
“Well, let’s see, I came from the world of Minecraftia, I fell through the void, landed here, somehow still living.” Cassidy answered.
“How do you think I can take over this ‘Minecraftia’?” Malus eagerly asked.Cassidy answered, slightly frightened,
”I’m afraid I have no idea. I’m not really experienced in taking over worlds. Besides, why would I tell you even if I did know?”
Malus replied smugly, “Because I can do this.” He flipped a switch and the cage was lifted. Then he pushed a small stone button and a pit of lava opened beneath the dangling cage. Now Cassidy was really scared.
“Is that really necessary?” asked Cassidy with a wobbling, squeaky voice.
“Yes,” responded Malus, “because you need to give me the answers to my questions.”
“I really don’t know!” Cassidy squeaked.
“Well then, I shall give you time to think.” Malus responded smugly. He then strolled out of the room, whistling a tune, with the cage slowly lowering towards the lava.Cassidy began to think her way out of her cage. She examined the cage, which seemed to be made out of thin iron bars with a stone slab bottom that protruded about four inches out from the bars. It was being lowered by some kind of redstone mechanism. Obviously the first step was to stop the cage. She searched for her bow, and she realized it had been taken. As a matter of fact, all of her weapons that she had had been taken. Except for the arrows, which had been left behind. Cassidy decided she would use the arrows as darts.Cassidy threw an arrow with great accuracy at a section of redstone, interrupting the wire’s connection to the cage. The cage stopped, but the lava still bubbled below. Cassidy decided she could work with it.
“Now, how to get out of here…” Wondered Cassidy.When Cassidy looked in her backpack, she noticed her pick was not there, maybe it had been broken in the fall or possibly taken away. All she has is her wood chopping axe, almost broken, and many provisions. She decided she would use the axe to point of breaking to weaken the bars, and then pull them apart with her hands.Cassidy found it harder than she expected, but she did it and successfully made a hole big enough to fit through. It was a tight squeeze, but she made it. When she was just about to continue, she suddenly stopped short. She forgot about the lava! Cassidy noticed the ledge around the cage, and decided she could use to her advantage. As for the lava, to get over it Cassidy needed to jump and sprint at the same time for extra distance.Cassidy almost made it over, but her left foot fell in. Even in the excruciating pain, it took her a mere moment to pull her foot out, but despite that she still believed she had severe burns on her foot. As desperate as she was to get out of there, she found it difficult to walk. She would have to crawl across the rest of small space and down the tower’s hard, brick spiral staircase, hoping not to fall to the tower floor below.On her way down, she noticed many cells and cages like hers; some empty, some filled with gruesome, emaciated people, and some with…others. These filled her grief and pity and made her want to get out of there all the more. Occasionally, despite her growing need to get out, she would stop at some what she thought were human cells and give them one or two of her provisions out of kindness. When she stopped at one cell with a man inside, she hit her burned right foot on the entryway, and passed out from the sheer pain of it. An apple rolled out of her hand and she slipped into darkness, never even giving the man an apple, getting to know him, or even study his face.
Meanwhile, the strange man in the jail cell sat wondering who this strange girl was and why she had passed out. As a few possibilities flew through his head, the girl started to wake.
“Ugh,” moaned Cassidy in a zombie like fashion, “I need to practice parkour when I get home…” She cradled her foot in her hands and tried to hold back tears of pain. When Cassidy turned her head to examine her surroundings she noticed the man in the cell.
“Well, look who’s awake. That’s a bad burn on your foot there. Trust me, I would know.” The man said as he held out his arm for her to see the burn mark he had received years ago.
Cassidy examined the man. Dark brown skin and hazel eyes, short cut black hair and thick black eyebrows. Rather tall, his head almost at the ceiling of the cell, he was quite intimidating. His toned muscles stretched out his already too small grey shirt and were as large as Cassidy’s neck. His blue jeans were ripped and too small for his waist, and his shirt was streaked and stained with dirt and sweat. There was a black and red jacket thrown in the corner of his cell, riddled with holes. He sported a beautifully crafted, sparkling diamond bracelet that was contrary to his clothing and seemed as if it was brand new and untouched by life’s many obstacles. His stomach was too thin for his muscular body, as if he had not had enough to eat in a long while. The man’s face wore a concerned look, and as he stood there his posture was as straight as a board.
“I’m Morgan,” stated the man, “and you are?”
“Uh, I, I’m Cassidy,” stuttered Cassidy, intimidated by the large, muscular man, “Cassidy Fink.”
“Nice to meet you Cassidy Fink. And how do you suppose you happened to stumble upon my humble cell here?” Morgan said as he held his hand through the bars to shake.
As Cassidy took the hand, she noticed a long burn mark down the arm, but decided not to mention it right then. “Nice to meet you as well, Morgan. As for how I ended up here, I was trying to escape the man by the name of Malus upstairs and just happened to be giving some of my provisions to a few prisoners, when I just happened to hit my foot on your doorway and passed out from the sheer pain of it. Speaking of which, here you go.” Cassidy, regaining her composure, rolled an apple through the bars to the man and watched as he slowly took the apple with his usual composed manner, then ate it as ravenously as a hungry wolf consuming a freshly killed sheep.
“Well it looks like someone was hungry.” Cassidy said with a smirk.
Blushing, Morgan slowly set down the bare apple core.
“Excuse my lack of manners, I just haven’t had a decent meal in a while.”
“It’s alright, here, have some more, I think you need it more than I do.” Cassidy tossed him a few more apples, a couple loaves of bread, and a cookie that she could spare, saving the rest for the journey ahead of her.
“Thank you so very much.” Morgan then consumed the meal just as ravenously as the first, finishing with a loud burp. “Excuse me.” Morgan apologized sheepishly.
Cassidy noticed Morgan’s knee, which had scars that seemed to have had been there for quite a while, and was dented in a painful looking way on the cap.
“That looks bad.” Cassidy stated with a small hint of concern, pointing at his knee.
“It’s nothing. Been there ever since I fell into that wretched cavern.”
“Oh, how funny. I fell through to a cavern as well. That’s where I found the hole leading here, wherever here is.”
“That’s how I got here too, I found an abandoned home. Three dead dogs inside and a cave outside. I was searching for materials when I fell into this hole. When I woke up, I was in this cell. Malus occasionally questioned me but I never gave him answers. He took my food away to the point of starving, and only then he would give me a slice of zombie meat or a spider eye.” Morgan told Cassidy.
“Oh…” Cassidy’s face fell for a moment. “That house, that was my house. Oh, my poor dogs. Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberry. I’ll miss them.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Morgan replied, feeling somewhat awkward. A while passed before Cassidy spoke again. She glanced back up at Morgan’s burn along his arm.
“I’ve been wondering, how did you get the burn on your arm?” Cassidy asked curiously. Morgan sighed.
“You’re sure you want to see?” Cassidy nodded. “Very well.” Morgan concentrated on his bracelet and the anonymous figure who had engraved it with “Always Remember. –N”. The fact that he couldn’t figure out who N was infuriated him immensely. It wasn’t long before his hand burst into flames. Cassidy let out a little squeak. Morgan quickly put out his hand by calming down.
“You can summon fire?” Cassidy asked quietly. Morgan nodded.
“Yeah, I’ve always been able to. When I first discovered I could, it burnt my house down and left this burn on my arm. Over time I’ve developed a resistance to it.” Morgan explained. Cassidy opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but then she heard footsteps on the stairwell. “Guards! You need to leave, now!” Morgan urged Cassidy.
“No, we need to leave. I’m not finished talking with you, besides, you can’t expect me to just leave you here!” Cassidy whipped out another arrow and began picking the lock on the cell door. It was easy from the outside for the lock was simple. Click! The lock snapped off. Cassidy pushed the door open and motioned for Morgan to follow her. She didn’t stop to check to see if he was coming, though of course he was. It didn’t take long for him to catch up with his extraordinary physique even though he was starved. Together they raced down the dizzying netherbrick staircase.
Everything was going well until Cassidy and Morgan came upon a locked door.
“Oh, this is just fabulous.” Cassidy said sarcastically. Morgan didn’t respond, instead, he began working on the dark red fences that blocked the window.
“What are you doing? That looks like it might hurt.” Cassidy said when Morgan began punching it out.
“Shush, it does. Just let me work.”
“Jeez, fine.” Cassidy leaned on the locked door, watching him, intrigued.
“Freeze in the name of the Great Lord Malus!” A gruff voice said from behind the wall that concealed the other stairs. Two Wither skeletons emerged. Just as they raised their swords, Morgan finished breaking the two fences.
“Put these on!” Morgan shouted at Cassidy.
“Feather falling boots? Where’d you get these?”
“They never took ‘em! Now try to land on the foot with the boot!” And with that, Morgan jumped. The Wither skeletons rushed towards Cassidy. It was at least a fifty block drop down.
“I must be crazy.” Cassidy told herself as she jumped after Morgan.
* * * *
The Wither skeletons returned to Malus’ throne room with their heads down.
“And where are the prisoners?” Malus questioned. “Already in their cells, I assume?”
“No, sir, they…They jumped off the tower.” The first Wither skeleton replied.
“And you didn’t follow them?”
“No sir, one would have to be crazy to jump off that height without protection.” The second Wither skeleton answered.
“WORTHLESS IMBECILES!” Malus snapped his shadowy fingers and the two evaporated into dust. He took a deep breath and sighed. “To get something done right, you have to do it yourself.” Malus teleported himself to a dark room. There was a figure sitting in a chair, unmoving.
The shadow Malus simply walked into the figure. The figure’s eyes snapped open, glowing red.
Well, sc1020 helped me out with some of the character names, nixing out some of the bad ideas, gave me lots of feedback, and most of all helped me get it on here! I can't wait to write the next chapter and I'm happy that I have some readers ready for it!
She also used MInefic: Legacy's Story Writing Help section. I know her IRL and I skype-chatted her to help her write. But she's pretty much on her own with this story unless she does character apps...
Ohh... me likes. I want to know more, and I especially like the lack of detail because the way you used it actually enhanced the story instead of taking away from it.
I look forward to learning about Hypodia.
In a faraway land named Hypodia, a villainous creature named Malus slaves away, NO COMMA!!! REPLACE WITH PERIOD! Say 'He plans his attack of the Above, plotting his take over. He has made maps, and weapons, as well as pictures of what he believed it to be like up there.' plotting how to take over the Above. He has made maps, made weapons, and drew pictures of what he thought it was like up there. Malus has been working for ages, longer than he can even remember, slaving away at realizing this incredible dream. He has been working for ages, as long as he can remember, at this incredible feat. One world was not enough for Malus, no, he wanted more. Studying the movements of creatures above by their distant vibrations, Like some sort of volatile land mine, like a bat, he has concluded THAT the Above is a land of many creatures SUCH AS (Humans? Elves? Fairies? What?). Another thing he has noticed, Something that has disturbed him to no end, which has quite disturbed him, is how the vibrations grow louder sometimes, and are accompanied by sounds of metal striking rock, Replace comma with PERIOD. What disturbs him (this is in present tense, I don't feel like correcting all of that stuff, just know that if it's in present/past tense, keep it that way.) the most is that these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above. which disturbed him the most, for these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above; REMOVE ';'besides REMOVE 'besides' and say 'The most disturbing of all are the screams that grow louder and louder before abruptly stopping, like someone (insert different simile here).the most disturbing of all, the screams that grow louder and louder, and then abruptly stop, as if someone took a noteblock, hit it, and then put their hands on it to stop it from vibrating any more. Then came the fateful day, that one day, when the screams didn't stop. He was working, drawing a new map from some recent vibrations he felt, when he heard the THEM! Not 'the screams', as they have been mentioned just last sentence. Using 'The screams' is choppy. screams. He stopped (So this is past-tense? Make it uniform, please.) his work momentarily to wait for them to stop, as they always do. But these screams, they kept growing louder and louder, until they were loudest he'd ever heard! Like they were right outside, when, suddenly, a few hundred METERS away, he heard a loud thump . This thump was followed by a (louder?) clank . The clank sounded as if it were produced by iron hitting rock - a metal pickaxe hitting stone. Then, well... then, everything was quiet. as if they were right outside, then suddenly, a few hundred blocks or so away, he heard a loud thump, and then a clank, as if there was something metal hitting the ground. Only then the screams stopped.
Oh, what were you saying, sc1020? That she's on her own?
Ohh... me likes. I want to know more, and I especially like the lack of detail because the way you used it actually enhanced the story instead of taking away from it.
I look forward to learning about Hypodia.
In a faraway land named Hypodia, a villainous creature named Malus slaves away, NO COMMA!!! REPLACE WITH PERIOD! Say 'He plans his attack of the Above, plotting his take over. He has made maps, and weapons, as well as pictures of what he believed it to be like up there.' plotting how to take over the Above. He has made maps, made weapons, and drew pictures of what he thought it was like up there. Malus has been working for ages, longer than he can even remember, slaving away at realizing this incredible dream. He has been working for ages, as long as he can remember, at this incredible feat. One world was not enough for Malus, no, he wanted more. Studying the movements of creatures above by their distant vibrations, Like some sort of volatile land mine, like a bat, he has concluded THAT the Above is a land of many creatures SUCH AS (Humans? Elves? Fairies? What?). Another thing he has noticed, Something that has disturbed him to no end, which has quite disturbed him, is how the vibrations grow louder sometimes, and are accompanied by sounds of metal striking rock, Replace comma with PERIOD. What disturbs him (this is in present tense, I don't feel like correcting all of that stuff, just know that if it's in present/past tense, keep it that way.) the most is that these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above. which disturbed him the most, for these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above; REMOVE ';'besides REMOVE 'besides' and say 'The most disturbing of all are the screams that grow louder and louder before abruptly stopping, like someone (insert different simile here).the most disturbing of all, the screams that grow louder and louder, and then abruptly stop, as if someone took a noteblock, hit it, and then put their hands on it to stop it from vibrating any more. Then came the fateful day, that one day, when the screams didn't stop. He was working, drawing a new map from some recent vibrations he felt, when he heard the THEM! Not 'the screams', as they have been mentioned just last sentence. Using 'The screams' is choppy. screams. He stopped (So this is past-tense? Make it uniform, please.) his work momentarily to wait for them to stop, as they always do. But these screams, they kept growing louder and louder, until they were loudest he'd ever heard! Like they were right outside, when, suddenly, a few hundred METERS away, he heard a loud thump . This thump was followed by a (louder?) clank . The clank sounded as if it were produced by iron hitting rock - a metal pickaxe hitting stone. Then, well... then, everything was quiet. as if they were right outside, then suddenly, a few hundred blocks or so away, he heard a loud thump, and then a clank, as if there was something metal hitting the ground. Only then the screams stopped.
Oh, what were you saying, sc1020? That she's on her own?
Wait... Jupiter is a girl? T_T
I'm glad you're waiting for the next chapter, which, by the way, may be delayed until tomorrow because I'm busy today, and yes that was the point of the lack of detail ;). I shall take your edits into consideration, but only some, such as the punctuation. Next time you want to help me out with editing though, can you just message me instead? Yes, I am a girl. Surprise you?
PS: Can Malus actually turn out to be not-evil?
Appalled by the state of the world above him (after wandering it for a while, after getting out of his... place, after learning that he is 'ready') he sets out to make it better... possibly?
Meh, that's something I would write.
I may publish a poem later... if Once/Texxy it.
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OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
PS: Can Malus actually turn out to be not-evil?
Appalled by the state of the world above him (after wandering it for a while, after getting out of his... place, after learning that he is 'ready') he sets out to make it better... possibly?
Meh, that's something I would write.
I may publish a poem later... if Once/Texxy it.
Maybe...you'll just have to find out! Really, it's just the prologue! Anything could happen. I shall take this small slab of clay I have with me now, and twist it, turn it, pound it, stretch it, form it, and make into something beautiful.
Yes... you'll need help with the glaze, though, as I can tell that you have little experience with such matters. XD
It's up to you to figure out what the 'glaze' is.I can see the banner! Malus must attack a girl's home! She will fight to the death!
Or will she...?*Nate stabs Malus with his undisclosed abilities* "Yay! I killed... oh, that's my seventh deity today!" He then proceeds to level up to God Tier.
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OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Hm... currently, if this were a pot, the glaze would be slightly chipped.
Glaze = grammar. Grammar = one of the lesser ideals for a story, yet still vitally important to the overall appearance of the story itself.
Glaze = one of the lesser portions of said pottery, yet still vital to the 'Omg, this looks amazing!' factor of the finished product.
That is why. XD
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OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Good news guys! I could get Chapter One out a bit early! Although, I don't know all your timezones, but it's still Sunday for me so I got it out early! Enjoy!
Hm... currently, if this were a pot, the glaze would be slightly chipped.
Glaze = grammar. Grammar = one of the lesser ideals for a story, yet still vitally important to the overall appearance of the story itself.
Glaze = one of the lesser portions of said pottery, yet still vital to the 'Omg, this looks amazing!' factor of the finished product.
That is why. XD
Yes, I get what you mean. I'm having someone read over my work to try to fix any errors and I'm trying to be especially careful with grammar and spelling. I apologize for any errors.
I will attempt to not fix any errors here because I am trying to relax today. XD
Will now read chapter one.
Okay... minor errors, not enough description, but I want to know MORE!
What the heck is with this place that she's arrived at now?!
WHY IS IT SO SUSPENSEFUL!!?!!?!!
You are not supposed to know yet! Be patient! You shall know more, the story will piece itself together! As to why it is so suspensefu: BECAUSE IT IS!!! Hope you enjoyed chapter one!
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Good news! I've gotten back into writing recently, and I've decided "Hey, why not revive that abandoned fan fiction?" So here I am, writing Chapter 3!
In a faraway land named Hypodia, a villainous creature named Malus slaves away. He sat plotting how to take over the Above. He has made maps, weapons, and pictures of what he thought it was like up there. He has been working for ages, as long as he can remember, at this incredible feat. One world was not enough for Malus, no, he wanted more. Studying the movements of creatures above by their distant vibrations, like a bat, he has concluded the Above is a land of many creatures. Another thing he has noticed, which has quite disturbed him, is how the vibrations grow louder sometimes, and are accompanied by sounds of metal striking rock, which disturbed him the most, for these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above; besides the most disturbing of all, the screams that grow louder and louder, and then abruptly stop, as if someone took a noteblock, hit it, and then put their hands on it to stop it from vibrating any more. Then came the fateful day, that one day, when the screams didn't stop. He was working, drawing a new map from some recent vibrations he felt, when he heard the screams. He stopped his work momentarily to wait for them to stop, as they always do. But these screams, they kept growing louder and louder, until they were loudest, as if they were right outside, then suddenly, a few hundred blocks or so away, he heard a loud thump, and then a clank, as if there was something metal hitting the ground. Only then the screams stopped. Cassidy woke to her dogs barking. "Quiet down!", said Cassidy, "I'm coming!". Cassidy walked into her backyard to find all three of her dogs patiently waiting for breakfast. She dug into her inventory looking for three bones to feed her dogs. She found nothing of the sort. "Darn," Cassidy sighs, "I was really hoping to relax today, but I guess I'll have to go into the caves and kill a few skeletons. I need the bones to feed you guys". Unhappy, Cassidy prepares herself to delve into the caves. "Pickaxe, check. Sword, check. Armor, check. Torches, check. Apples, check. Very unhappy mood, check. Yep, I'm ready to go." said Cassidy. Cassidy made her way down to the mineshaft. She was walking to the caves where all the monsters are, the ones she called "The Fightin' Caverns", when she decided she might as well mine and get a bit of exploring done. So she dug down, down, into the Earth. Block by block, Cassidy mined and dug, deeper and deeper. Beads of sweat shining on her forehead, she dug looking for a cave. "Ugh," thought Cassidy, "When will I find this stinking cave!". As this thought crossed her mind, she fell into a rather wide cavern. She saw some far away lava, but no monsters. This puzzled her. From the floor, little black floaty things called void particles rose. That is when Cassidy realized she had reached the bottom of the world and could mine no further. Tired, Cassidy decided to take a break, and sat down on the cold bedrock. While munching on some of the apples she had brought, Cassidy noticed a strange blue light coming from a hole in the ground. The first thing that crossed her mind was that a hole was at the bottom of the world. She did not see this as possible. She went over to investigate, to see if this was just a figment of her imagination, perhaps a hallucination of sorts. As she dipped her head in, all she saw past the blue was black that was blacker than black. Suddenly, Cassidy lost her balance and fell in. In these few seconds before death, Cassidy realized she had fell into the Void. She knew there was no surviving the Void. She braced for death, readied herself. Though she accepted death, she felt like screaming anyways, to hear her voice for the last time. So she screamed an ear piecing, loud scream. Then suddenly the darkness turned to light, and she saw ground rapidly approaching. Time seemed to slow as she reached the ground, striking it fast, but softly as well, and before she blacked out, the last thing she heard was her pick clanking against the ground. Meanwhile, not so far away, Malus worked on his plan to take over the Above, as well as a few other things. He heard the clanks of metal against rock, and paused to listen. A few minutes later, the clanking stopped and instead he heard...is that chewing? Not so long after that, the screams started, but lasted for much longer than he anticipated. Then the screams were, it seemed to him, right outside. Thump! Clank! And then silence.
Morgan by marquini67 (introduced first)andAssyria by MageofCats (introduced second)
It was a
veryINCREDIBLY hard decision to make. You all had great characters. I dub you all, Hypodia's Finest Character Makers!Name:Gender:Appearance:Personality:Power/skill (MUST have one of the two):Bio:Other:I will only be taking two characters for now, and will introduce in later story points.Entries:
FlyingPig6789:
Name: Jimmy John IIIGender: MaleAppearance: Two meters tall with dark skin. He has deep blue eyes and a gray miner's outfit.Personality: Always in it for himself. He may act like he is helping you, but he is really helping himself.Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): PowerBio: Jimmy grew up in a poor family. This taught him to survive. When his home mysteriously caved in one night, he set out mining to make himself rich.Other:
sc1020:
Name: John "Jack" Grayson (Robin's middle name and last name
Mage_of_Cats:
Name: AssyriaGender: FemaleAppearance: Her long blonde hair cascades over her squared shoulders in obvious contempt of gravity, bringing out the gold in her eyes and contrasting against her bright red lips. Her eyelashes are long and frivolous, as well as being black. She has thin eyebrows, blonde, and these serve to convey her many expressions neatly and quietly. She has a thin, hard line for a mouth, one that seems filled with sadness and looks very out of place with her petite nose cheerfully peering out from her long, skinny face. She usually wears a short-sleeved, long, striped shirt made of spider's webs and dye. For her 'pants', she tends to wear long, usually white, translucent garments. She enjoys wearing little black cat ears on her head. If you asked her how she got them, she wouldn't tell you. Her small hands are lithe and unscarred by battle, with nails short and cut back so that they don't cause discomfort inside of her white, silken gloves that she dons before battle.Personality: Almost depressed, morose, very kind, extremely loyal, doesn't take to people easily (AT ALL).Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): Assyria can freeze things, but only if they are suitably watery. (More than 65% water). She MUST be touching the thing that she wants to freeze, and the ice ring expands by 10% of it's total area every second. Starting area is always 1 inch diameter circle at first point of contact. Cannot freeze things through gloves. Exact temperature of frozen things fluctuates from around -120 degrees Fahrenheit to -80 degrees Fahrenheit and begins to get warmer as soon as she stops touching it. She is not very good at combat, having only trained with the village boys. She does not yet know of her ability.Bio: Waking up in a large crater, surrounded by broken rocks, piles of dirt, burning trees, and miniature waterfalls from the nearby lake, she's rather new to this world and doesn't know where she came from originally. After climbing out of the crater (it was nearly filled up by the lake draining into it,) Assyria noted that the forest she was in ended abruptly to her left. This, of course, caused her to walk in that direction and find herself in a town where she was later accepted as a citizen. A few weeks passed by. She was living with an elderly grandma (to three grandchildren) and ended up becoming quite close to a cute boy that lived next to *her* house. The day that she was determined to ask him to be her boyfriend/whatever they call those things, a group of raiders stormed the (undescribed) town and killed nearly everyone. Assyria didn't see her friend die, but she was pretty sure that he did. She ended up surviving by hiding in the grandma's basement mine and sealing the entrance with some dynamite. This lead to her being trapped in the tunnel and hoping that someone - anyone - would save her. After a day or two of nothing, she decided that no one was coming for her and began to travel further down the (undescribed) mine, only to find a small breach in it's orderly hallways (yay! Description!)She went into this breach to fin Cassidy's mine, and, when looking for the exit, stumbled upon the hole in the world.Other: Assyria is now really upset and sad, possibly depressed, that her caretaker (grandma person/whatever) and her best friend/the person she loved are now dead... or are they? This leads her to hurtling herself into the Void in an attempt to kill herself.
marquini67:Name:
MorganGender: MaleAppearance: A very tall, seventeen year old boy. Dark brown skin and hazel eyes. He almost always wears a serious face. Thick, black eyebrows. Short black hair. He has a burn mark that races all along his arm from the first time he found out he could use fire. He is also muscular to the point where it's visible. He spawned in wearing a grey t-shirt, black (outside) and red (inside) jacket, and blue jeans. He also wear a bracelet with a diamond attached to it.Personality: He is a very serious and disciplined person. Someone you always see standing up straight and expect to be a veteran. When it comes to other people, he is very protective and will sacrifice almost anything to protect those he cares about. He always tells himself "I have little to sacrifice so why not sacrifice it all?" The only thing that he has to remind him that he has a past is his diamond bracelet. Carved in it, it says "Always Remember -N (a heart is carved around the N)."Power/skill (MUST have one of the two): His overall build and strength give him an advantage over enemies in his way. He can lift his enemies and throw them across a room or sweep heavy items out of the way. He also has the power to summon fire out of his hands. Morgan can only "fire-bend" when he is angry or emotionally stressed. He constantly reminds himself about his necklace which gives him the drive to use fire to his advantage. He can either create his own fire or control heat around him (such as fire from a torch or slowly moving lava).Bio: Arriving at this land, he struggle to find shelter, constantly being attacked by mobs and other survivors that wanted his supplies. He killed to survive but he wasn't a murderer. After a night of hunting for items and food, he came back to his small, wooden hut and found that he had been wearing a bracelet this entire time. He didn't know why so Morgan investigated the bracelet. Solid diamond, beautifully crafted, and special somehow. He turned over the diamond and found what it said. He suddenly felt very sad and angry. His knees buckled and he felt to the ground, sobbing for some unknown reason. At that instant, his hands caught fire. He panicked and tried to find a bucket of water in one of his chests. The moment he touched the chest, it caught fire. His entire hut burnt to the ground and he barely mad it out alive. Morgan jumped into a nearby pond to extinguish himself. He saw the aftermath on his hand and the remains of his house. Since then, he has become a nomad, traveling and never stopping. (You can continue from there.) Other:One night, he stumbled on an abandoned house while traveling to find supplies. Three dogs dead inside and the entire place has been untouched for a while. There were no blood stains so these dogs must have died of hunger. This place must have something me to use, he thought to himself. He checks the chests and they have all been raided. Damn it!He slams the chest in rage and his hands ignite. He gets spooked but realizes that he just has to calm down. He paced his breathing and relaxed. His hands extinguished, as if the flames were never there. He walked outside and saw that the cave next to home had torches lighting the entrance. Curious, he entered the cavern in hopes of finding food or tools. It was dark and too quiet. He thought about his bracelet and his left hand lit up in flames. For some reason, the bracelet was immune to the flames, so was his skin now. Morgan lowered the fire with a thought and continued. Still thinking about whoever "N" was and how they anger him, he found an opening to another cavern. He had no choice but to jump in.He fell for a few seconds and hit some hard, very solid rock that hurt like hell. His knees took must of the impact and he fell to the ground, grabbing his right knee and groaning loudly in pain. He tried to scoot his way to the wall slowly but fell into a hole. He knew what happened. He fell into an endless abyss, certain he would die...
“What? Where am I? What happened? Why does my head hurt so bad?” were the questions that flew through Cassidy’s mind the split second she awoke. As she looked around, she noticed a strange man under a black cloak. She could swear his face was…is that red?
“Where am I?” Cassidy questioned.
“In a cage, you dummy,” responded Malus.
“Well, I know that. I mean where is the cage?” Cassidy said to Malus.
“In my tower,” said Malus.Cassidy proceeded to slap her palm to her forehead.
“Where is the tower located?” she asked slowly, as if talking to a child.
“Sheesh, do they raise you thick in the Above? You are in Hypodia you dummy.” Malus said.
“Where is-oh, never mind.” Cassidy gave up. In the sparse lighting, it was hard to see. When she squinted at the strange man, she noticed that he was nothing more than a dark, flickering shadow.
“What are you?” Cassidy asked questioningly.
“I don’t know. What am I? Perhaps I am your worst nightmare, your greatest fear, your darkest dream. Besides, young lady, it is impolite to ask what before first asking who. I am Malus, Ruler of Hypodia and all who reside in it.” said Malus regally, yet condescendingly.Cassidy had many questions whirring through her mind, but decided he was not the person to ask. She was trying to figure out how to get out of here, when Malus spoke again. “So, now it’s my turn to ask questions. Who are you?” Malus questioned.
“Cassidy. Cassidy Fink.” Replied Cassidy.
“Well, Cassidy Fink. What are you?” Malus asked arrogantly, with a smug smile on his face.
“Errrr, human? What do I look like? Pig?” Cassidy replied, slightly confused.
“Well, you are a bit pink in the face…slightly chubby as well.” Malus retorted. “On the other hand, you do seem too stupid to be a pig. Pigs are smart.”
“Hey!” was Cassidy responded indignantly.
“Anyway, back to business. Where did you come from, how did you get here?”, Malus questioned curiously.
“Well, let’s see, I came from the world of Minecraftia, I fell through the void, landed here, somehow still living.” Cassidy answered.
“How do you think I can take over this ‘Minecraftia’?” Malus eagerly asked.Cassidy answered, slightly frightened,
”I’m afraid I have no idea. I’m not really experienced in taking over worlds. Besides, why would I tell you even if I did know?”
Malus replied smugly, “Because I can do this.” He flipped a switch and the cage was lifted. Then he pushed a small stone button and a pit of lava opened beneath the dangling cage. Now Cassidy was really scared.
“Is that really necessary?” asked Cassidy with a wobbling, squeaky voice.
“Yes,” responded Malus, “because you need to give me the answers to my questions.”
“I really don’t know!” Cassidy squeaked.
“Well then, I shall give you time to think.” Malus responded smugly. He then strolled out of the room, whistling a tune, with the cage slowly lowering towards the lava.Cassidy began to think her way out of her cage. She examined the cage, which seemed to be made out of thin iron bars with a stone slab bottom that protruded about four inches out from the bars. It was being lowered by some kind of redstone mechanism. Obviously the first step was to stop the cage. She searched for her bow, and she realized it had been taken. As a matter of fact, all of her weapons that she had had been taken. Except for the arrows, which had been left behind. Cassidy decided she would use the arrows as darts.Cassidy threw an arrow with great accuracy at a section of redstone, interrupting the wire’s connection to the cage. The cage stopped, but the lava still bubbled below. Cassidy decided she could work with it.
“Now, how to get out of here…” Wondered Cassidy.When Cassidy looked in her backpack, she noticed her pick was not there, maybe it had been broken in the fall or possibly taken away. All she has is her wood chopping axe, almost broken, and many provisions. She decided she would use the axe to point of breaking to weaken the bars, and then pull them apart with her hands.Cassidy found it harder than she expected, but she did it and successfully made a hole big enough to fit through. It was a tight squeeze, but she made it. When she was just about to continue, she suddenly stopped short. She forgot about the lava! Cassidy noticed the ledge around the cage, and decided she could use to her advantage. As for the lava, to get over it Cassidy needed to jump and sprint at the same time for extra distance.Cassidy almost made it over, but her left foot fell in. Even in the excruciating pain, it took her a mere moment to pull her foot out, but despite that she still believed she had severe burns on her foot. As desperate as she was to get out of there, she found it difficult to walk. She would have to crawl across the rest of small space and down the tower’s hard, brick spiral staircase, hoping not to fall to the tower floor below.On her way down, she noticed many cells and cages like hers; some empty, some filled with gruesome, emaciated people, and some with…others. These filled her grief and pity and made her want to get out of there all the more. Occasionally, despite her growing need to get out, she would stop at some what she thought were human cells and give them one or two of her provisions out of kindness. When she stopped at one cell with a man inside, she hit her burned right foot on the entryway, and passed out from the sheer pain of it. An apple rolled out of her hand and she slipped into darkness, never even giving the man an apple, getting to know him, or even study his face.
“Ugh,” moaned Cassidy in a zombie like fashion, “I need to practice parkour when I get home…” She cradled her foot in her hands and tried to hold back tears of pain. When Cassidy turned her head to examine her surroundings she noticed the man in the cell.
“Well, look who’s awake. That’s a bad burn on your foot there. Trust me, I would know.” The man said as he held out his arm for her to see the burn mark he had received years ago.
Cassidy examined the man. Dark brown skin and hazel eyes, short cut black hair and thick black eyebrows. Rather tall, his head almost at the ceiling of the cell, he was quite intimidating. His toned muscles stretched out his already too small grey shirt and were as large as Cassidy’s neck. His blue jeans were ripped and too small for his waist, and his shirt was streaked and stained with dirt and sweat. There was a black and red jacket thrown in the corner of his cell, riddled with holes. He sported a beautifully crafted, sparkling diamond bracelet that was contrary to his clothing and seemed as if it was brand new and untouched by life’s many obstacles. His stomach was too thin for his muscular body, as if he had not had enough to eat in a long while. The man’s face wore a concerned look, and as he stood there his posture was as straight as a board.
“I’m Morgan,” stated the man, “and you are?”
“Uh, I, I’m Cassidy,” stuttered Cassidy, intimidated by the large, muscular man, “Cassidy Fink.”
“Nice to meet you Cassidy Fink. And how do you suppose you happened to stumble upon my humble cell here?” Morgan said as he held his hand through the bars to shake.
As Cassidy took the hand, she noticed a long burn mark down the arm, but decided not to mention it right then. “Nice to meet you as well, Morgan. As for how I ended up here, I was trying to escape the man by the name of Malus upstairs and just happened to be giving some of my provisions to a few prisoners, when I just happened to hit my foot on your doorway and passed out from the sheer pain of it. Speaking of which, here you go.” Cassidy, regaining her composure, rolled an apple through the bars to the man and watched as he slowly took the apple with his usual composed manner, then ate it as ravenously as a hungry wolf consuming a freshly killed sheep.
“Well it looks like someone was hungry.” Cassidy said with a smirk.
Blushing, Morgan slowly set down the bare apple core.
“Excuse my lack of manners, I just haven’t had a decent meal in a while.”
“It’s alright, here, have some more, I think you need it more than I do.” Cassidy tossed him a few more apples, a couple loaves of bread, and a cookie that she could spare, saving the rest for the journey ahead of her.
“Thank you so very much.” Morgan then consumed the meal just as ravenously as the first, finishing with a loud burp. “Excuse me.” Morgan apologized sheepishly.
Cassidy noticed Morgan’s knee, which had scars that seemed to have had been there for quite a while, and was dented in a painful looking way on the cap.
“That looks bad.” Cassidy stated with a small hint of concern, pointing at his knee.
“It’s nothing. Been there ever since I fell into that wretched cavern.”
“Oh, how funny. I fell through to a cavern as well. That’s where I found the hole leading here, wherever here is.”
“That’s how I got here too, I found an abandoned home. Three dead dogs inside and a cave outside. I was searching for materials when I fell into this hole. When I woke up, I was in this cell. Malus occasionally questioned me but I never gave him answers. He took my food away to the point of starving, and only then he would give me a slice of zombie meat or a spider eye.” Morgan told Cassidy.
“Oh…” Cassidy’s face fell for a moment. “That house, that was my house. Oh, my poor dogs. Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberry. I’ll miss them.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Morgan replied, feeling somewhat awkward. A while passed before Cassidy spoke again. She glanced back up at Morgan’s burn along his arm.
“I’ve been wondering, how did you get the burn on your arm?” Cassidy asked curiously. Morgan sighed.
“You’re sure you want to see?” Cassidy nodded. “Very well.” Morgan concentrated on his bracelet and the anonymous figure who had engraved it with “Always Remember. –N”. The fact that he couldn’t figure out who N was infuriated him immensely. It wasn’t long before his hand burst into flames. Cassidy let out a little squeak. Morgan quickly put out his hand by calming down.
“You can summon fire?” Cassidy asked quietly. Morgan nodded.
“Yeah, I’ve always been able to. When I first discovered I could, it burnt my house down and left this burn on my arm. Over time I’ve developed a resistance to it.” Morgan explained. Cassidy opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but then she heard footsteps on the stairwell. “Guards! You need to leave, now!” Morgan urged Cassidy.
“No, we need to leave. I’m not finished talking with you, besides, you can’t expect me to just leave you here!” Cassidy whipped out another arrow and began picking the lock on the cell door. It was easy from the outside for the lock was simple. Click! The lock snapped off. Cassidy pushed the door open and motioned for Morgan to follow her. She didn’t stop to check to see if he was coming, though of course he was. It didn’t take long for him to catch up with his extraordinary physique even though he was starved. Together they raced down the dizzying netherbrick staircase.
“Oh, this is just fabulous.” Cassidy said sarcastically. Morgan didn’t respond, instead, he began working on the dark red fences that blocked the window.
“What are you doing? That looks like it might hurt.” Cassidy said when Morgan began punching it out.
“Shush, it does. Just let me work.”
“Jeez, fine.” Cassidy leaned on the locked door, watching him, intrigued.
“Freeze in the name of the Great Lord Malus!” A gruff voice said from behind the wall that concealed the other stairs. Two Wither skeletons emerged. Just as they raised their swords, Morgan finished breaking the two fences.
“Put these on!” Morgan shouted at Cassidy.
“Feather falling boots? Where’d you get these?”
“They never took ‘em! Now try to land on the foot with the boot!” And with that, Morgan jumped. The Wither skeletons rushed towards Cassidy. It was at least a fifty block drop down.
“I must be crazy.” Cassidy told herself as she jumped after Morgan.
* * * *
The Wither skeletons returned to Malus’ throne room with their heads down.
“And where are the prisoners?” Malus questioned. “Already in their cells, I assume?”
“No, sir, they…They jumped off the tower.” The first Wither skeleton replied.
“And you didn’t follow them?”
“No sir, one would have to be crazy to jump off that height without protection.” The second Wither skeleton answered.
“WORTHLESS IMBECILES!” Malus snapped his shadowy fingers and the two evaporated into dust. He took a deep breath and sighed. “To get something done right, you have to do it yourself.” Malus teleported himself to a dark room. There was a figure sitting in a chair, unmoving.
The shadow Malus simply walked into the figure. The figure’s eyes snapped open, glowing red.
What now?
What now?
I look forward to learning about Hypodia.
In a faraway land named Hypodia, a villainous creature named Malus slaves away, NO COMMA!!! REPLACE WITH PERIOD! Say 'He plans his attack of the Above, plotting his take over. He has made maps, and weapons, as well as pictures of what he believed it to be like up there.' plotting how to take over the Above. He has made maps, made weapons, and drew pictures of what he thought it was like up there. Malus has been working for ages, longer than he can even remember, slaving away at realizing this incredible dream. He has been working for ages, as long as he can remember, at this incredible feat. One world was not enough for Malus, no, he wanted more.
Studying the movements of creatures above by their distant vibrations, Like some sort of volatile land mine, like a bat, he has concluded THAT the Above is a land of many creatures SUCH AS (Humans? Elves? Fairies? What?). Another thing he has noticed, Something that has disturbed him to no end, which has quite disturbed him, is how the vibrations grow louder sometimes, and are accompanied by sounds of metal striking rock, Replace comma with PERIOD. What disturbs him (this is in present tense, I don't feel like correcting all of that stuff, just know that if it's in present/past tense, keep it that way.) the most is that these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above. which disturbed him the most, for these are the only sounds he ever hears from the Above; REMOVE ';'besides REMOVE 'besides' and say 'The most disturbing of all are the screams that grow louder and louder before abruptly stopping, like someone (insert different simile here).the most disturbing of all, the screams that grow louder and louder, and then abruptly stop, as if someone took a noteblock, hit it, and then put their hands on it to stop it from vibrating any more.
Then came the fateful day, that one day, when the screams didn't stop. He was working, drawing a new map from some recent vibrations he felt, when he heard the THEM! Not 'the screams', as they have been mentioned just last sentence. Using 'The screams' is choppy. screams. He stopped (So this is past-tense? Make it uniform, please.) his work momentarily to wait for them to stop, as they always do. But these screams, they kept growing louder and louder, until they were loudest he'd ever heard! Like they were right outside, when, suddenly, a few hundred METERS away, he heard a loud thump . This thump was followed by a (louder?) clank . The clank sounded as if it were produced by iron hitting rock - a metal pickaxe hitting stone. Then, well... then, everything was quiet. as if they were right outside, then suddenly, a few hundred blocks or so away, he heard a loud thump, and then a clank, as if there was something metal hitting the ground. Only then the screams stopped.
Wait... Jupiter is a girl? T_T
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
What now?
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Yay! I should be able to get Chapter 1 out tomorrow (Monday), so be prepared!
What now?
PS: Can Malus actually turn out to be not-evil?
Appalled by the state of the world above him (after wandering it for a while, after getting out of his... place, after learning that he is 'ready') he sets out to make it better... possibly?
Meh, that's something I would write.
I may publish a poem later... if Once/Texxy
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
What now?
It's up to you to figure out what the 'glaze' is.I can see the banner! Malus must attack a girl's home! She will fight to the death!
Or will she...?*Nate stabs Malus with his undisclosed abilities* "Yay! I killed... oh, that's my seventh deity today!" He then proceeds to level up to God Tier.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
What now?
Hm... currently, if this were a pot, the glaze would be slightly chipped.
Glaze = grammar. Grammar = one of the lesser ideals for a story, yet still vitally important to the overall appearance of the story itself.
Glaze = one of the lesser portions of said pottery, yet still vital to the 'Omg, this looks amazing!' factor of the finished product.
That is why. XD
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
What now?
Will now read chapter one.Okay... minor errors, not enough description, but I want to know MORE!
What the heck is with this place that she's arrived at now?!
WHY IS IT SO SUSPENSEFUL!!?!!?!!
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
What now?