Minecraftia was a country filled with villages, and palaces and was overall great beauty. They were very conservative with everything
they used. There were cows, sheep, chickens, pigs, and other animals which have been long since extinct. There were no need for
protective reinforcements, as the world was peaceful, and there was nothing that would hurt something else( except for the pig, that
was used for food) Animals were breeded, and everything was refurnished and being used for usefulness, not pleasure.
Chapter 1: The Forming of Ores
Basements were becoming popular. It provided extra room, and could be used for storage rooms, bedrooms, and many other kind of rooms. They also took up less space on the outside. A family had a boy named Haix and gave him the chore of digging out the basement. Most families had about 7 layers of dirt under their house, so Haix took out his shovel and began digging. All of a sudden, he ran into this grayish type of layer that was solid and almost unbreakable by hand or by shovel. Haix ran up the staircase and told his parents about the grayish type of material. News quickly spread about the new material. It proved stronger than dirt and looked better for houses then their dirt. The people researched for days on end, and, finally, they found a tool that could break stone at a normal speed. It was called the wooden pickaxe, made out of the sticks made for their shovels, axes, and hoes; and their wooden planks, used to make the sticks. The recipie had not been released to the public, however. Haix went to the shop and traded about 64 potatoes for the pickaxe. He dug out his basement using it, but as soon as he was done, it broke! Meanwhile, families were crowding his house, wanting to dig out the precious "stone" out for themselves. Haix ran upstairs, and got some wood out of the chest, and tried to make another pick using the same shape as the pick. His parents chased the people away while he was trying to figure out the recipie. He tried it with his new cobblestone, what came out of the stone, and got a pick which was made out of the stone! This was much faster, and it was much more effecient! He showed it to his parents, and his parents told the mayor. The mayor tried to squeeze out the recipie, but they refused to give it for free. They traded it for 200 pieces of wheat. A different family of villagers, the Ixes, soon found stone under their house, with their traded stone pickaxe. They dug in the stone for a while, and they found a new type of material. It had the same background of stone, but it had blackish spots in it. They found out that they could mine it with their pick and it dropped a black material which came to be known as "coal". For a long time, they could do nothing with their coal. They tried putting it in a 9x9 square, but it made an ugly black block which could be used to store it. Then the Ixes put cobble randomly in an crafting bench and it became something called a "furnace"! The furnace could be used to cook their meat, and make it taste better! They could put the coal in the furnace, and it would bake things! They could even put wooden planks and plain wood in the furnace to make something called "charcoal"! Charcoal could be used instead of coal and would not use up the earth's coal. Soon, the earth became full of holes miles and miles underground. A material was found called "iron" and made an even bigger fuss. More materials were being found, such as a blueish type of ore that, when mined, could be used to dye their sheep's wool, gold, which was not very long-lasting but could do taks at an amazing speed, and the most wanted" diamond. Diamond was found at the dephts of the earth, at the un-mineable bedrock layer. It was even better than gold, but was much more rare. Diamond was wanted everywhere, and some were lucky to find it. But at the bottom at these pits of darkness(no one had thought of torches yet), people who had been looking for diamonds, had been the target of a dark force, invisible to the eye.The dark force swept into their mind, making them into mutants. They only wanted to eat brains, other food ment nothing. All of their items where gone, all they were wearing was a blue shirt and jeans. They were forced to stick their arms out, and make horrible groaning noises. They were now "zombies". They were ordered to kill any villager they could find. So they walked out of the mine, and appeared on the surface. Many a villagers died that day. Haix's and the Ixes were killed. The smartest people had died. Out of desperation, a person named Anubie put irn and a stick in a random shape. It made a sword, which proved very good with the zombies. The zombies were killed, and the apocalyspe was over. Anubie was a hero. The same found true to be used with stone, wood, gold, and diamond too! Diamond was the most powerful, however iron was used the most. Test were made and found that zombies spawned literally out of nowhere when the light was dim. They became panicky about what to use to light up their villages, which up until then had been dark at night. Then, Anubie, being the smart being that she was, figured that since coal could be used to cook, it could make heat. It has to be hot to cook, right? And the furnace always gave off a light. We couldn't just put furnaces everywhere! So she put a hot piece of coal on top of a stick, and 4 light bringing things (torches were unnamed) popped out. They began lighting up the village and lighting up the mines. They thought their troubles were over. But they weren't. They didn't get all the mines in time. Skeletons, seriously dead zombies skin had been decompiled and had turned back into dirt, were left. They carried bows and arrows, given to them by the dark force, tried to shoot the people and kill them. They were nimble, unlike the zombies, and were a lot smarter. Yet they were still no match for the swords, even though they dealt more damage.
This is a WIP!
Please ignore any spelling mistakes. I am trying my best.
I am accepting any other corrections, though!
i didn't read it because i have
"a low attention span" but considering you put a decent amount of work into it and the fact that it looks pretty good, Good work
nah, i just ment that you were to lazy to read for a while! And thanks for the reputatin!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I play minecraft not nearly as often as I used to. Animal Crossing took its place.
Not bad good sir, not bad at all. May I suggest that you take a little more time to edit and proof-read your writing so as to improve your overall quality of writing. Not that this is a bad first start, but you could benefit from taking about half the time it takes you to write your thoughts down; And divide that length of time in half and put it toward editing your writing. You'll find that your overall writing improves but you may feel inspired to add what you feel would improve the story. There are also ways that you can further inspire yourself to ply your craft in imaginative ways. I myself whenever I feel the need to push the boundaries of my writing that reading different books, listening to classical music [not limited American Classical music, but a wide variety of eastern cultural music is especially helpful.] Tea, and meditation are good tools to clear your mind of outward distraction to focus on the task at hand are immeasurable too. As for the content that you are writing about think about adding more to the dialogue, actions, and theme of your story. It also never hurts to add in an antagonist to your story which overall adds to heightened interest in the point of the story. With that said, I wish you all the luck in telling your story and broadening your craft to its height.
Not bad good sir, not bad at all. May I suggest that you take a little more time to edit and proof-read your writing so as to improve your overall quality of writing. Not that this is a bad first start, but you could benefit from taking about half the time it takes you to write your thoughts down; And divide that length of time in half and put it toward editing your writing. You'll find that your overall writing improves but you may feel inspired to add what you feel would improve the story. There are also ways that you can further inspire yourself to ply your craft in imaginative ways. I myself whenever I feel the need to push the boundaries of my writing that reading different books, listening to classical music [not limited American Classical music, but a wide variety of eastern cultural music is especially helpful.] Tea, and meditation are good tools to clear your mind of outward distraction to focus on the task at hand are immeasurable too. As for the content that you are writing about think about adding more to the dialogue, actions, and theme of your story. It also never hurts to add in an antagonist to your story which overall adds to heightened interest in the point of the story. With that said, I wish you all the luck in telling your story and broadening your craft to its height.
Thank you for your tips, they are very much appreciated!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I play minecraft not nearly as often as I used to. Animal Crossing took its place.
I really like it so far. You have taken what the world would be like in minecraft for people who had never played, or before it hardly existed! Very well done and ill be looking forward for more!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, Minecraft is a journey of endless miles that does not start until you press that first button. Yes, I wrote this myself........
It made me laugh... which is a good thing. Humor in 'the development of Minecraft' stories is always fun!
Anyways, try to make it less choppy. Perhaps that's just me speaking, as my parents say that I tend to be highly eloquent with my sentence structure. Personally, however, I fail to grasp exactly what they are saying. A possibility that has presented itself to me is that my parents are trying to tell me that my sentences 'flow', in which case, sure.
I suppose they do.
Anyways, do continue. I will be looking forward to their discovery of zombies and Endermen. I want to know what will happen when they find Creepers.
PS: This sentence is annoying me to no end: 'A family had a boy named Maxwell and gave him the chore of digging out the basement.'
I suggest that you change it to 'The (Hilga? Symborth? Some name here.) family's son, Maxwell, was given the chore of digging their basement out.'
Not bad good sir, not bad at all. May I suggest that you take a little more time to edit and proof-read your writing so as to improve your overall quality of writing. Not that this is a bad first start, but you could benefit from taking about half the time it takes you to write your thoughts down; And divide that length of time in half and put it toward editing your writing. You'll find that your overall writing improves but you may feel inspired to add what you feel would improve the story. There are also ways that you can further inspire yourself to ply your craft in imaginative ways. I myself whenever I feel the need to push the boundaries of my writing that reading different books, listening to classical music [not limited American Classical music, but a wide variety of eastern cultural music is especially helpful.] Tea, and meditation are good tools to clear your mind of outward distraction to focus on the task at hand are immeasurable too. As for the content that you are writing about think about adding more to the dialogue, actions, and theme of your story. It also never hurts to add in an antagonist to your story which overall adds to heightened interest in the point of the story. With that said, I wish you all the luck in telling your story and broadening your craft to its height.
I'm quite sure that any antagonist in this... story, as you put it, would end up furthering the advancement of the civilization. I draw this conclusion due to the fact that this is really a work of fiction designed to tell people, in in-game 'lore speak', how the Minecraftian world developed to where it is today.
For some reason, people don't understand that this is not a 'story', rather, it is a work of fiction that appears to be a story. However, it is something that charts the course of civilization's development throughout Minecraft's 'history'. It has happened to me before, and, as such, I am aware of how annoyingly stupid and short-sighted people can be when viewing these.
Not bad good sir, not bad at all. May I suggest that you take a little more time to edit and proof-read your writing so as to improve your overall quality of writing. Not that this is a bad first start, but you could benefit from taking about half the time it takes you to write your thoughts down; And divide that length of time in half and put it toward editing your writing. You'll find that your overall writing improves but you may feel inspired to add what you feel would improve the story. There are also ways that you can further inspire yourself to ply your craft in imaginative ways. I myself whenever I feel the need to push the boundaries of my writing that reading different books, listening to classical music [not limited American Classical music, but a wide variety of eastern cultural music is especially helpful.] Tea, and meditation are good tools to clear your mind of outward distraction to focus on the task at hand are immeasurable too. As for the content that you are writing about think about adding more to the dialogue, actions, and theme of your story. It also never hurts to add in an antagonist to your story which overall adds to heightened interest in the point of the story. With that said, I wish you all the luck in telling your story and broadening your craft to its height.
*** Remember! Use this thing called the [ENTER] key found on the far right side of your keyboard! It will make the GIANT WALL OF [unspoilered] TEXT look a LOT easier to read.
**** Try to spoiler new updates! It's hard to read when you see the next section/can't remember where you were when you quit (when you updated, I skimmed over it before noticing it was an update. Then I had to backtrack to find out where the old update finished and the new one began.)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
they used. There were cows, sheep, chickens, pigs, and other animals which have been long since extinct. There were no need for
protective reinforcements, as the world was peaceful, and there was nothing that would hurt something else( except for the pig, that
was used for food) Animals were breeded, and everything was refurnished and being used for usefulness, not pleasure.
Chapter 1: The Forming of Ores
Basements were becoming popular. It provided extra room, and could be used for storage rooms, bedrooms, and many other kind of rooms. They also took up less space on the outside. A family had a boy named Haix and gave him the chore of digging out the basement. Most families had about 7 layers of dirt under their house, so Haix took out his shovel and began digging. All of a sudden, he ran into this grayish type of layer that was solid and almost unbreakable by hand or by shovel. Haix ran up the staircase and told his parents about the grayish type of material. News quickly spread about the new material. It proved stronger than dirt and looked better for houses then their dirt. The people researched for days on end, and, finally, they found a tool that could break stone at a normal speed. It was called the wooden pickaxe, made out of the sticks made for their shovels, axes, and hoes; and their wooden planks, used to make the sticks. The recipie had not been released to the public, however. Haix went to the shop and traded about 64 potatoes for the pickaxe. He dug out his basement using it, but as soon as he was done, it broke! Meanwhile, families were crowding his house, wanting to dig out the precious "stone" out for themselves. Haix ran upstairs, and got some wood out of the chest, and tried to make another pick using the same shape as the pick. His parents chased the people away while he was trying to figure out the recipie. He tried it with his new cobblestone, what came out of the stone, and got a pick which was made out of the stone! This was much faster, and it was much more effecient! He showed it to his parents, and his parents told the mayor. The mayor tried to squeeze out the recipie, but they refused to give it for free. They traded it for 200 pieces of wheat. A different family of villagers, the Ixes, soon found stone under their house, with their traded stone pickaxe. They dug in the stone for a while, and they found a new type of material. It had the same background of stone, but it had blackish spots in it. They found out that they could mine it with their pick and it dropped a black material which came to be known as "coal". For a long time, they could do nothing with their coal. They tried putting it in a 9x9 square, but it made an ugly black block which could be used to store it. Then the Ixes put cobble randomly in an crafting bench and it became something called a "furnace"! The furnace could be used to cook their meat, and make it taste better! They could put the coal in the furnace, and it would bake things! They could even put wooden planks and plain wood in the furnace to make something called "charcoal"! Charcoal could be used instead of coal and would not use up the earth's coal. Soon, the earth became full of holes miles and miles underground. A material was found called "iron" and made an even bigger fuss. More materials were being found, such as a blueish type of ore that, when mined, could be used to dye their sheep's wool, gold, which was not very long-lasting but could do taks at an amazing speed, and the most wanted" diamond. Diamond was found at the dephts of the earth, at the un-mineable bedrock layer. It was even better than gold, but was much more rare. Diamond was wanted everywhere, and some were lucky to find it. But at the bottom at these pits of darkness(no one had thought of torches yet), people who had been looking for diamonds, had been the target of a dark force, invisible to the eye.The dark force swept into their mind, making them into mutants. They only wanted to eat brains, other food ment nothing. All of their items where gone, all they were wearing was a blue shirt and jeans. They were forced to stick their arms out, and make horrible groaning noises. They were now "zombies". They were ordered to kill any villager they could find. So they walked out of the mine, and appeared on the surface. Many a villagers died that day. Haix's and the Ixes were killed. The smartest people had died. Out of desperation, a person named Anubie put irn and a stick in a random shape. It made a sword, which proved very good with the zombies. The zombies were killed, and the apocalyspe was over. Anubie was a hero. The same found true to be used with stone, wood, gold, and diamond too! Diamond was the most powerful, however iron was used the most. Test were made and found that zombies spawned literally out of nowhere when the light was dim. They became panicky about what to use to light up their villages, which up until then had been dark at night. Then, Anubie, being the smart being that she was, figured that since coal could be used to cook, it could make heat. It has to be hot to cook, right? And the furnace always gave off a light. We couldn't just put furnaces everywhere! So she put a hot piece of coal on top of a stick, and 4 light bringing things (torches were unnamed) popped out. They began lighting up the village and lighting up the mines. They thought their troubles were over. But they weren't. They didn't get all the mines in time. Skeletons, seriously dead zombies skin had been decompiled and had turned back into dirt, were left. They carried bows and arrows, given to them by the dark force, tried to shoot the people and kill them. They were nimble, unlike the zombies, and were a lot smarter. Yet they were still no match for the swords, even though they dealt more damage.
This is a WIP!
Please ignore any spelling mistakes. I am trying my best.
I am accepting any other corrections, though!
nah, i just ment that you were to lazy to read for a while! And thanks for the reputatin!
Thank you for your tips, they are very much appreciated!
Anyways, try to make it less choppy. Perhaps that's just me speaking, as my parents say that I tend to be highly eloquent with my sentence structure. Personally, however, I fail to grasp exactly what they are saying. A possibility that has presented itself to me is that my parents are trying to tell me that my sentences 'flow', in which case, sure.
I suppose they do.
Anyways, do continue. I will be looking forward to their discovery of zombies and Endermen. I want to know what will happen when they find Creepers.
PS: This sentence is annoying me to no end: 'A family had a boy named Maxwell and gave him the chore of digging out the basement.'
I suggest that you change it to 'The (Hilga? Symborth? Some name here.) family's son, Maxwell, was given the chore of digging their basement out.'
I'm quite sure that any antagonist in this... story, as you put it, would end up furthering the advancement of the civilization. I draw this conclusion due to the fact that this is really a work of fiction designed to tell people, in in-game 'lore speak', how the Minecraftian world developed to where it is today.
For some reason, people don't understand that this is not a 'story', rather, it is a work of fiction that appears to be a story. However, it is something that charts the course of civilization's development throughout Minecraft's 'history'. It has happened to me before, and, as such, I am aware of how annoyingly stupid and short-sighted people can be when viewing these.
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Zombies came first, skeletons came next, and creepers are last. Nether related things will take a long time to write.
I will now wait for you to publish more!
**PS use spoilers!!!
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."
Im too young to be calm enough to meditate.
Bt thanks anyway!
**** Try to spoiler new updates! It's hard to read when you see the next section/can't remember where you were when you quit (when you updated, I skimmed over it before noticing it was an update. Then I had to backtrack to find out where the old update finished and the new one began.)
OnceInALongTime: "You confuse me, Mage. Amazability should be a word so I could describe your words."