How interesting. I just caught up and read Chapter 3 and 4. Blythe really gets in. I forgot to add that Blythe's age is unknown, but she looks quite young and the age I put in the app.
Name: Nikali
Age: Unknown
Character type: Reality, but can go into dreams and distort them (but he can't make major changes hence my use of the word "distort")
Character species: World-Walker (see bio)
Character alignment: Evil
Inventory: A black-bladed sword, Jewel of Dimensions (what allows him to go into dreams)
Bio: He is the last of the World-Walkers, an evil race which used Jewels found in their world to enter other worlds, even dreams. Most of the World-Walkers were removed after a war between them and the Ponies, but Nikali lived because he transported to the Nether right as an arrow flew towards him. He was assumed to be dead. He now seeks revenge on the pony race, and will do anything to obliterate them. He has still remained in the Nether, so he doesn't know that there is only one pony left (Steve).
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
4/14/2013
Posts:
213
Minecraft:
FlyingPig6789
Xbox:
Who needs Xbox?
Member Details
Name: The One True Age: Unknown Character type: Dream Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not. Character alignment: EVIL Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody. Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. There was a lot of toxic waste. One True fell in and was transformed into something made of pure evil. To combat One True's evil, a village wizard locked him in the realm of dreams. The last thing One True did in the real world was slay the wizard that trapped him. He know haunts the nightmares of humans. THe human's dream will not end until One True has slain them, only to have them wake up very shaken.
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Very long ago. One scientist. Take pig and bird. Boom boom science explosions. FlyingPig6789 happened.
Name: The One True Age: Unknown Character type: Dream Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not. Character alignment: EVIL Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody. Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. There was a lot of toxic waste. One True fell in and was transformed into something made of pure evil. To combat One True's evil, a village wizard locked him in the realm of dreams. The last thing One True did in the real world was slay the wizard that trapped him. He know haunts the nightmares of humans. THe human's dream will not end until One True has slain them, only to have them wake up very shaken.
I don't actually know if i can use him...
He doesn't seem to be that close to my story, At the very least his bio would have to be tweaked, (A lot.)
Just a question... Did you actually read the chapters that are out before writing this?
(No offense meant if you did.)
Name: The One True Age: Unknown Character type: Dream Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not. Character alignment: EVIL Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody. Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. There was a lot of toxic waste. One True fell in and was transformed into something made of pure evil. To combat One True's evil, a village wizard locked him in the realm of dreams. The last thing One True did in the real world was slay the wizard that trapped him. He know haunts the nightmares of humans. THe human's dream will not end until One True has slain them, only to have them wake up very shaken.
He doesn't seem to be that close to my story, At the very least his bio would have to be tweaked, (A lot.)
Just a question... Did you actually read the chapters that are out before writing this?
(No offense meant if you did.)
I have a tendency to do that. I hate it. I saw that they could be dream and said, "HEY! you can have characters in dreams! I'll put in something that inhabits nightmares!"
Change him however you want. Make him a sub-walker of Nikali, I guess. Right-Hand man, maybe?
I have a tendency to do that. I hate it. I saw that they could be dream and said, "HEY! you can have characters in dreams! I'll put in something that inhabits nightmares!"
Change him however you want. Make him a sub-walker of Nikali, I guess. Right-Hand man, maybe?
I have a tendency to do that. I hate it. I saw that they could be dream and said, "HEY! you can have characters in dreams! I'll put in something that inhabits nightmares!"
Change him however you want. Make him a sub-walker of Nikali, I guess. Right-Hand man, maybe?
I will likely add him in a later portion.
I have forsaken the entire step by step process!
I will have about four parts to the story and i will upload chapter 9 tomorrow. (I Hope)
Name: The One True
Age: Unknown
Character type: Dream
Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not.
Character alignment: EVIL
Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody.
Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. There was a lot of toxic waste. One True fell in and was transformed into something made of pure evil. To combat One True's evil, a village wizard locked him in the realm of dreams. The last thing One True did in the real world was slay the wizard that trapped him. He know haunts the nightmares of humans. THe human's dream will not end until One True has slain them, only to have them wake up very shaken.
Name:One (Later named "The one true.") Age: Unknown Character type: Dream Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not. Character alignment: EVIL Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody. Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. Nikali discovered his innate abilities when he forced One to fight for him. He haunts the nightmares of all living thing and serves his current master.
This is quite good. I like this. A couple of things though.
I would recommend that for each new speaker you start a new line. It helps avoid confusion with who is speaking. And in chapter 6, you make Blythe disappear twice. Unsure whether it was intentional or not.
With a glance Blythe replied, "attack first." Then she vanished in a flash of blue light.
The orb went blank and returned to its original size. "You were nearly destroyed last time you refuted my advice." Blythe said. "But the World-walkers are gone?" Claire said with confusion covering her face. "What attacked you then?" With that Blythe disappeared in a flash of blue light.
Other than that, great! Looking forward to more chapters !
I will have to look over it but i think i have been trying to put the characters name that is speaking before the area thats from their perspective. If thats what you mean i will have to look over it.
If you would read chapter six again you would notice that it was relaying an event that happened before on a crystal orb of Blythe's
Mustering all the authority she could she asked "Who are you? “You don't remember me?" Blythe asked softly. She waved her hand and her orb appeared beside her. It expanded showing a scene. Claire's eyes drew to it and she was immersed in it.
The orb began to play; It showed a scene eerily familiar to the one currently playing but it showed Claire much younger. "The World-walkers are treasonous." The orb Blythe said. "They made a treaty with us!" orb Claire replied. "You are a special species, but the World-walkers will destroy you." Blythe turned to go. Claire reached forward. "How can we stop them?" With a glance Blythe replied "attack first." Then she vanished in a flash of blue light.
The orb went blank and returned to its original size. "You were nearly destroyed last time you refuted my advice." Blythe said. "But the World-walkers are gone?" Claire said with confusion covering her face. "What attacked you then?" With that Blythe disappeared in a flash of blue light. The computers and monitors flashed back on and a minute later the scientists unfroze. Claire sat down and began to worry.
How did you know?!?
Are you stalking me?
Why are you telling everyone I'm a nut?
The squirrels did not know I was was The Nut. Thank you for blowing my cover!
How did you know?!?
Are you stalking me?
Why are you telling everyone I'm a nut?
The squirrels did not know I was was The Nut. Thank you for blowing my cover!
The world is ending as i try to figure out how to continue.
Would love feedback on the intro to Nikali.
Chapter 6 released.
Age: Unknown
Character type: Dream
Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not.
Character alignment: EVIL
Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody.
Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. There was a lot of toxic waste. One True fell in and was transformed into something made of pure evil. To combat One True's evil, a village wizard locked him in the realm of dreams. The last thing One True did in the real world was slay the wizard that trapped him. He know haunts the nightmares of humans. THe human's dream will not end until One True has slain them, only to have them wake up very shaken.
He doesn't seem to be that close to my story, At the very least his bio would have to be tweaked, (A lot.)
Just a question... Did you actually read the chapters that are out before writing this?
(No offense meant if you did.)
I have a tendency to do that. I hate it. I saw that they could be dream and said, "HEY! you can have characters in dreams! I'll put in something that inhabits nightmares!"
Change him however you want. Make him a sub-walker of Nikali, I guess. Right-Hand man, maybe?
Thanks.
I have forsaken the entire step by step process!
I will have about four parts to the story and i will upload chapter 9 tomorrow. (I Hope)
Age: Unknown
Character type: Dream
Character species: Resembles a Human, but is not.
Character alignment: EVIL
Inventory: A sword made of bloody diamonds. Don't ask why the diamonds are bloody.
Bio: The One True used to be human, that is, until the accident. No one really knows what happened during the accident, but One True does. Nikali discovered his innate abilities when he forced One to fight for him. He haunts the nightmares of all living thing and serves his current master.
Character tweaked and introduced.
Chapter 10 The end of book one released.
You are both nuts.
If you would read chapter six again you would notice that it was relaying an event that happened before on a crystal orb of Blythe's
The orb began to play; It showed a scene eerily familiar to the one currently playing but it showed Claire much younger. "The World-walkers are treasonous." The orb Blythe said. "They made a treaty with us!" orb Claire replied. "You are a special species, but the World-walkers will destroy you." Blythe turned to go. Claire reached forward. "How can we stop them?" With a glance Blythe replied "attack first." Then she vanished in a flash of blue light.
The orb went blank and returned to its original size. "You were nearly destroyed last time you refuted my advice." Blythe said. "But the World-walkers are gone?" Claire said with confusion covering her face. "What attacked you then?" With that Blythe disappeared in a flash of blue light. The computers and monitors flashed back on and a minute later the scientists unfroze. Claire sat down and began to worry.
This story just may be, dare I say it...
Rift-worthy.
How did you know?!?
Are you stalking me?
Why are you telling everyone I'm a nut?
The squirrels did not know I was was The Nut. Thank you for blowing my cover!
Or Chapter 11 Released.