I have been inspired by many other stories to write one myself. Any comments and feedbacks are well appreciated! They can help me down my venture through the road of an author. I will create a new chapter every weekend, so check on.. every Friday and Sunday. Give me your thoughts about how I'm going, positive or negative, I accept all. Thanks!
Updates :--
As of 11st August, 2013
I made another chapter which most likely no one would comment.
Either way, I'm not going to just dump this on the side of the road.
I will finish this, probably quickly, and leave it afterwards.
But if you're reading this, thanks and please comment.
◘|•♦•Line Breaker!•♦•|◘ "There are a lot of stories in this book. Sorted with bookmarks in chapters. Pick one."
Prologue
"It's all a lie."
The day falls. Night descended upon the world of Minecraft. Townspeople went to their beds. The world's gone quiet. A man appears, dressed in black from head to toe, a hood covers his face. Crunching rocks under his feet, he walks up to a nearby inn. 'Pigs and Cows', weird name and yet its always packed. But not on a night like this, not on a beautiful full moon. The man swings the door open, stepping on the wooden floor, creating a sound under his will. Nobody looks to him. Or rather, nobody is here. The man enters, still with his hood on. The inn keeper, polishing an ale glass, looks up at him.
"Room or food. What ye'll have?" The innkeeper said to him, still keeping his eyes on him.
"Tell me about the village." A dark voice escapes the man's throat.
"There are thousands of villages around the land, me boy. Which certain village?"
"The village.. down south.
The innkeeper narrowed his eyes at the hooded man that had seated on a stool. The man had yet to reveal his identity. Certainly a spy? Or an assassin? The innkeeper put down the ale glass he was polishing, now nervous of the man's identity. He reached for the blade hidden in his clothes, but the man stood up, and faced him. The hood, still shading his face away.
"I will not hurt you, as long as you comply." The hooded man spreads a smile on his face.
"I would rather know of your identity first before so." The innkeeper said, keeping his hand on the blade.
"Please, no violence. I am unarmed. I just need guidance."
"Identity first."
"Why is it so important?"
The innkeeper stopped. He released his grip on the blade and calmed himself. Just another traveler seeking death perhaps. He turned around towards the wine case and took out a wine bottle.
"Let's talk over with wine."
The hooded man seemed hesitant. Took him a second to answer. Or two.
"Sure."
The innkeeper received two small glass under the counter and handed one to the hooded man. He released the cork and pour some red wine for himself and the man. The hooded man held his glass but does not drink any of the wine.
"Can you give me information now?"
"Of course. The place you are heading.. is dangerous, young traveler."
The innkeeper gulped down the wine and inserted the cork back in the wine bottle. The hooded man doesn't drink the wine yet.
"Tell me all you know, please."
"All evil of this land, rose from the village there."
"There's more."
The innkeeper sighed. The traveler is crazy. Lots of travelers have been sent to death because of the curiosity that drives them.
'How many more dead travelers will I bring?' The innkeeper, thought to himself.
"Don't mind me. My life is none of your business."
"I know nothing more. But there's just one thing, young traveler."
"Tell me."
"Stay cautious and stay alive."
Then the man gulped down the wine. He stood up and tossed a few gold pieces on the counter for the innkeeper. The man bowed his head and reached for the exit. A sense of guilt fell upon the innkeeper.
'What have I done?'
Chapter 1
"Which one?" The snow blows hard. I stomp on the snow, hanging onto the only jacket I have. With every step, frostbite surges through my feet. I should have brought more clothing. Furious snow blew against me, screams of cold death at my ears. I can't hold onto these hard snow any longer. I pulled my head up, a cave within range. Some distance, not far. I ducked under a tree as another gale of freezing snow blew across. I proceed to walk again, my joints screamed in protest. My brain demands rest. I'm almost on my limit. The cave, near. I made a last leap into it and rolled onto the cold hard stone and into the cave. It's not deep, just a hole on the surface on a hill. I inched into the deepest part of the cave and began heating myself, blowing hot air onto my hands.
I reached into my backpack and took out some small firewood and a flint and steel. These are necessities when traveling down south. I spread them neatly on the floor and lit the woods with the flint and steel. Several attempts were made until success. A flicker of flame appeared, tiny and weak at the bottom of the wood pile. I protected it from the cold winds and slowly huffed breathe onto the fire, giving it life. Not long, the fire grew strong, I sat beside it, listening to the cold winds outside.
'Guess I need to wait it out.' I thought to myself, inching closer to the flames of warmth. I proceed to save my legs, removing the clothing underneath them. I lied down near the flames, with the legs bare. It took quite a long time for my legs to feel things again. A brush of fatigue brushed me. In an instant, I lay down, sleeping peacefully. How long has it been since I left home..?
...
I feel something brushing against my leg. Moist and funny. I wiggled my leg in reply. It stopped, then it came again. I opened my eyes, a wolf stood there. I don't need to brandish my blade, its probably wanting company. I looked outside, its still night with the cold wind. The wolf was probably begging for warmth. I sat up and patted it on the head, with a smile. The wolf looked up in my eyes. I should name it. How about..
"Lukey."
The grey wolf barked. I never heard wolves barked before. I spread a smile on my face, rubbing its chin. The wolf whined in pleasure and rested its weary head and mind on my lap. I guess, another companion isn't bad. I lay down to rest again.
"The damn wind doesn't stop."
...
Warmth. I opened my eyes, Lukey was still resting. Its probably hungry for staying out there for who knows how long. I stretch my hand towards the backpack, careful not to disturb Lukey's slumber. I picked out 3 bones for it to munch at and placed in next to him. Afterwards, I shook Lukey awake. It opened its eyes, gazing up at me. I pointed at the bones and it stared at the bones. Lukey got up and started munching at the bones greedily. I turned my head to the side, the sun shone at the sky, soft snow falling to the ground. The fire already died out. I reached into my bag again, obtaining a strip of red leather. It was suppose to be my bandana but I tied it around the wolf as a collar.
"Welcome to the pack, Lukey."
The wolf ignored me but I'm sure it heard my words. I sling the bag over my shoulder and walked towards the exit of the cave with Lukey behind me. In his mouth were 2 bones. 1 was already gone. What a glutton. I took out my compass to look for the South. I followed my gaze towards the South and in the distance, was a village. I step on the snow and freezing cold spread up my legs. I jumped back and realized..
"I forgot my boots.."
...
The village was not that special. I thought it would be sort of scary when the innkeeper told that 'all evil rose from there'. The life here looks normal. Villagers walks around, trading and socializing. I approach one of them, with emeralds on my hand. The villager nodded and would trade away 8 breads for 1 emerald. I gladly accept as I'm running low on food. I place the emerald on the villager's open palm and before I knew it, he took off running. Took me a second to formulate what's going on...
"Thief!" I chased after the villager. He's pretty fast, so I asked Lukey for aid. Wolves can run undoubtedly fast, sprinting over 4 times faster than we minecraftians can. Wolves can catch anything in the blink of an eye. The villager was of no exception. I managed to follow up with Lukey. Looks like Lukey already caught the villager. What I see, was a wolf biting down the villager's leg, blood flowing down. I approach the villager, with a smirk on my face. I look into his pockets and took out the emerald I had and 8 bread.
"Good trade." I walked away with Lukey following my short after. Suddenly, a man appeared in front of me. He jumped down from a building perhaps. The man wore casual traveler gear, leather armor and an iron sword. I readied my blade, anticipating any attacks. The man stood passive, smiling at me. In his hands, a letter for me. He handed it to me. I took it from his hands and unfolded the letter. The letter reads.. 'Dear Traveler, what say you join our guild? We offer refreshments, rest and of course, a bit of action. We guarantee you'll be pleased.'
I released my gaze from the letter and onto the man in front of me. He smiled again, waiting for an answer. I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. I approached the man with a smile on my face.
"Yes?" The stranger said, as if predicting the answer. I chuckled slightly.
"No." And a punch was slammed hard onto his face. He fell to the ground with a large thud. I rubbed my knuckles in slight pain. This village was rumored to be cursed with some.. evil deity. I've got to be a bit more cautious.
Chapter 2
"Everything." Darkness. All around me, I am blinded by the black colour. I can barely see the palm of my hands. I moved my legs forward, the sound of my feet contacting with the floor echoed around me. I moved another step when a voice whispered behind me.
"Having fun?" I jumped, frightened. I turned around quickly, facing a pair of glowing eyes. I backed away from him, fear rising in me. I screamed my muscles to confront the man but it is as if I lost control to my whole body. A wide smile cuts across his face, his palm open towards me to grasp. I felt a sudden push behind me and caught hold of his hand. I immediately released my grip and faced him.
"Herobrine," the man smiled, hand extended to shake. I hesitated but shook his hand either way. "Vyce." I replied.
"Well Vyce, nice to meet you." He smiled. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. My legs bent and I fell. I looked down, seeing a sharp knife plunged deep into my stomach. Crimson blood dyed my clothes in red and flowed like a river downwards. I grasped the knife with both of my arms in attempt to pull it out. I can see a leg appear in front of me. I looked above to see Herobrine with a sword on his right, ready to deliver the final blow. With a smile, he brought the blade down.
"Guh!" I snapped my eyes open. I quickly sat up quickly, my hands feeling for wounds in the stomach. I looked down to confirm no injuries were made. Was it a nightmare? Yet, it felt so real.
I breathed a relief and closed my eyes for a moment. Herobrine. Why does it felt like I heard that somewhere before? I looked around, finding myself in a similar cave before I entered the village. Feeling extra cautious, I decided to do camping and rest outside the village. I approached my backpack, leaning to the cave wall to the right and obtained a cooked porkchop. I munched on it greedily as I got ready to leave for the village. Luke came around the corner and ran towards me, barking all the way. I bent down and patted him on the head. Giving my porkchop one last bite, I gave the rest to Luke as breakfast.
....
"You also a visitor here?" Iskandar, an adventurer asked me. I nodded, sipping at my drink. We sat opposing each other in the inn. I'm not really slacking off. Apparantly, this adventurer is off here in a similar task as mine so I figured extra help would be great. I explained to him about me coming here by orders sent directly by the king himself. "So you're like a royal knight?" He asked with admiration.
"No. Not really. Just a mercenary." He nodded his head, mouth opened 'ahh' in understanding. He suddenly lifted his head and reached for something inside his coat. He got a piece of scroll, rolled neatly and handed it to me.
"A map. It's a sighting a weird stuff that I saw. You can go investigate. I'm not really skilled." I opened the scroll revealing bad scribbles, smiley faces, badly drawn houses and a big red arrow pointing to an X. I raised my eyebrow at him. He shrugged and looked away. I rolled the scroll back neatly and tucked it under coat. I finished my drink and stood up.
"Meet here again tommorow. I'll go to the place at night."
"You be careful, yah?" He smiled at me, taking out a small book for small reading. I exit the Inn, introducing myself to the sunlight again. I walked a few steps back to my cave when I suddenly felt an evil aura at a distance.
Almost instantly by instinct, I raised my blade quickly, deflecting an arrow masterfully. A sound was fired from the forest ahead and I sidestepped, evading the shot. At the corner of my eye, I saw what I assumed to be an arrow. I bent my back, letting the arrow zip past me in a whoosh. With three arrows shot across the field, the town fell in panic. Villagers ran frantically for their home. An arrow was fired again. I focused ahead but the arrow was not for me.
"Iskandar!" My voice penetrated through the building. Iskandar looked at me for a brief moment. He smiled. And then he fell. The arrow zipped across the glass and buried itself into Iskandar's head.
I kicked the door open and ran for Iskandar, almost tripping when I turned around a corner. I quickly knelt beside him, inspecting the wound. He's obviously dead, the arrow plunged into his head. Upon closer inspection, a note can seen stuck onto the arrow's feather. I plucked it for me to read.
"Wake up, Vyce."
Chapter 3
"Nothing is real?" The village falls in a deathly silent as the last villager flee into his home. The night is lit only by the large full moon. The trees sway with the winter breeze, the only sound in the dark hour. The creatures of the dark did not rise, for tonight is a beautiful night. The full moon watches over the frozen village as if a mother nurturing her child. A figure moves swiftly pass the brush, crunching the grass below his feet. The figure appears from the shadows, revealing himself as Vyce. Taking out the scroll, Vyce tries to make out the best of what little aid Iskandar has provided for his task.
Vyce follows the path listed on the map, crunching twigs at his feet. He was careful not to trip while studying the scribbles on the paper. By instincts, he assumes the location of the sightings are right behind the town hall. He lifted his head, ahead of him a small trapdoor located exactly as he predicted. However, nothing strange seems to be observed. Vyce crouches behind the brush, hiding his presence from any possible followers. Vyce remains in his location patiently for half an hour before deciding to scrap the suspicions, As he turn his back, he immediately hears a weird grumbling sound coming from the trapdoor.
Turning his head to look again, his eyes widen in awe but no voice escapes his throat. Just near the trapdoor, he sees a similar man in his dreams. Herobrine.
The man has his back facing Vyce. Vyce returned to his position and lies down on the cold snow floor, remaining invisible to the man. The man turned around, as if facing Vyce but his eyes peer somewhere behind him. Vyce remained passive, unsure of what the man is facing. Suddenly, he hears twigs snapping behind him. Footsteps. Something is approaching. Vyce was unable to dodge the approaching figure for a single snapping of the twigs on the snow floor can uncover his location. Vyce did what he could and held his face down to the ground, hoping the figure would not step on him.
"The preparations for the ritual is complete." A deep voice can be heard just beside Vyce as the footsteps stop.
"Good. Begin immediately." A voice, assumed to be the man's, replies.
Vyce could vision the figure nodding and left the scene with heavy footsteps. Vyce lifts his head slightly to see that the man, Herobrine, has vanished somewhere. Vyce sat up quietly, yet to leave his hiding spot. He observed his surroundings for the man, Herobrine, but to no avail. Replaying the scene he witnessed, he realized something is going on in this town but rather unknown at what it could be. Thinking it could be safe to leave, Vyce stood up and turns to walk away.
"Vyce.." Vyce quickly turns around, brandishing his blade out but no man stood before him.
What was that..
"Wake up." Vyce turns again, facing Herobrine before him. The man levitated in air, his hands in his elbows. His face showed no emotion as if one of a corpse. Vyce readies his blade for fight but the man remained passive.
"Wake up and realize." And the man vanishes in a cloud of what appears to be sparkling aqua dust. Vyce sheaths his blade after the mysterious encounter. He walked back to his cave again, all the way with his hand on his chin, thinking.
"Realize?" Vyce walked past the village and out to the winter forest. He turned left, back to his cave. Lukey lifted his head to Vyce's appearance. It gave a small bark, welcoming its master home. Vyce placed down his backpack onto the hard floor and approached his bed, made out of purchased wool and chopped wood. He sat on his bed and took out his journal from the backpack to the first empty page. Striking a torch alight, he stands it beside the bed and began writing on his journal.
When the wolf has ventured into slumber, the flames of the torch were eliminated and Vyce kept his journal back into his backpack. Vyce lied down on his bed, savoring the comfort of rest. He let his eyelids fall and fell asleep quickly. The full moon shone brightly in the sky tonight, and will it again on the next night.
A myth once said, "The moon a sign, for when she shine in nights aplenty, the world will fall in its wake."
Chapter 4
"Except two" The village is bustling with activity as the sun stood gallantly high in the sky. Big-nosed villagers all crowd around the market, purchasing necessary goods to serve their needs. Some ventured out into the woods to go for hunting. The smaller ones stay at home, entertaining themselves with others. It all seemed so great. Yet, the rumors speak of the opposite.
Vyce hung his sheathed blade on his waist and carried his backpack. Munching on slightly-burnt fish, he ventured to the village with Lukey beside him. Vyce tossed the fish to the ground and began retracing the steps back to where he was the day before. He reached the trapdoor behind the town hall once again. Vyce searches around his memory and tried to recall the whole scene. Slowly replaying the whole witnessing, he remembered the figure that almost spotted him and the location he went to. Lifting his head towards a small gap in the thick snowy forest, Vyce knew exactly what his next move would be.
Vyce cuts through the branches and think shrubs that seem to crawl out to him as he makes his way across the snowy forest. His boots crunches heavily down onto the snowy floor. Vyce looks to the sky, only to find the tree canopies restrict much of the view of the sky. Vyce ventured onwards with Luke just close by. The sound of crunching snow continues when suddenly Lukey lifted his head from sniffing the ground. Seeing this suspicious, Vyce stopped to listen.. to nothing. A heavy sound came from behind them and they quickly faced it but nothing was there.
Just the snow that collapses.
Vyce continued with Lukey following close by, all the while its head held high. Little did they know, a shadowy figure was following them sneakily without Lukey's consent.
Vyce stood before a large structure of ender stone and obsidian. From what Vyce could vision, it appears to be a small part of a destroyed castle or some ruins. Nevertheless, Vyce seems peculiar towards this structure and ventured in it. Lukey stood at the entrance to watch by. But just as quickly as Lukey turned its head to hear a sound in a distance, the shadowy figure nimbly went into the structure with Vyce.
Vyce lit a torch and walked down the stairs. The darkness seems to be calling to him as he carefully stepped down the staircase. The torch as his only guidance, he dared not to lose it or drop it. Vyce carefully made his way down when he heard a loud grumbling sound coming from below. By instincts, Vyce quickly dashed to the right wall and extinguished his torch. The grumbling sound began to grow larger and Vyce anticipated what would come next.
Vyce crouched to remain as invisible as possible in the dark. The source of the sound appeared visible from the bottom of the stairs, out of the darkness. The figure climbed the stairs in a slow manner, its glowing purple eyes peering to the top of the staircase. As the figure grows larger, Vyce held his breathe to keep silent. The figure continued its steps passed Vyce, not knowing of his presence. Vyce breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the figure stopped moving and turned around to face Vyce. Vyce held his breathe, still hanging on believes that the figure is yet to spot him. The figure approaches closer when he suddenly stop, a step from contacting him. He released a grumbling voice as he watched 'Vyce' then turned to leave.
Vyce waited for the figure to exit the structure before pressing onwards, not daring to ignite his torch. Vyce walked down the staircase in total darkness for a while, almost tripping along the way, before facing an iron door. A button is embedded beside the door as a switch. Without a doubt, he pressed it. Suddenly the ground below him gave way and he fell through it. Heat and light suddenly surrounded him and he realized, He's falling to a lava pit.
This story is part of Minefic: Legacy. This is a story list where you can apply your stories so everyone can see it even better! Simply click the link and fill out an application and see how helpful it is yourself!
Until then, happy writing!
If you like the story, feel free to leave comments! Any sort of support is greatly appreciated! While you're at it, vote at the poll at how you think the story is!
Hey there. It looks like a great story, but I couldn't read it because cursive is... Very hard for me to read. May I suggest to change to a slightly simpler font?
Oh, right. It came up as cursive on my iPhone. Apologies.
EDIT: Anyway, back to the story. It was very well written, and the dialogue was very smooth, which is good. I wouldn't put speech in italics though. Anyway, I liked it, it left me with a nice cliffhanger .
Ahh well.. I put italic in speech dialogues because it can sort things a bit better. Because if its normal passage all the way, it could be a bit hard to read (in mu vision). So a change in dialogues (for me) is necessary to allow the reader to read things a bit better.
It was very well written, and certainly a very interesting piece of literature. How would you like me to get this added to the Minefic story list? If so, just click here ----> Minefic to see the proper format for doing so. I am really looking forward to your reply.
It was very well written, and certainly a very interesting piece of literature. How would you like me to get this added to the Minefic story list? If so, just click here ----> Minefic to see the proper format for doing so. I am really looking forward to your reply.
Of course. I'll post a format for that.
Also, chapter 1 has been made. I feel sort of bored without doing anything... so here it is. Give me your feedbacks~
Chapter 2 is here!
Feedbacks well appreciated. Any comments can help me improve my writing.
Share the word too! It can benefit me and help me reach my goal of behind a cool author of a novel.
Thanks and enjoy reading~
In chapter 2, you started saying "you", instead of "I" "me" or "my". You also said "he" once while referring to 'Lukey'. (As you usually called him "it".) I hope you can change these things, it makes it a bit confusing.
New chapter up!
Read and if possible, leave some good comments.
I'll be glad to accept any of them except the types that usually speak 'Trollololol!'. (Jk)
"I send a hard kick that barely does any pain. Then, I quickly picked up the blade she dropped and pointed the end at her neck. This time, its her turn to be furious. But instead of fighting back, she admitted defeat. For that, I lowered handed the blade at her and went to pick up my blade. According to her, it was meant to be a friendly duel. In my point of view, I think she just hate me." The last sentance is supposed to be "I think she just hates me." and in the sentance For that, I lowered handed the blade at her and went to pick up my blade. It would be better as "I lowered her blade and handed it to her. Then picked up my blade."
Great job! The story is different and has a plot line that can suck you in.
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward sentences, an any person would suggest you should get yourself or somebody else to check over your work.
As an author myself, the fan fiction business can be extremely tiring. First you get no attention, then you get loads of it but you're exhausted from producing for a small crowd - it's very hard to commit to a whole book. Try your best but you'll need the patience of a saint if you want to complete the story. I know you reviewed by book - you can see I'm starting to strain it out. It's not fun after a while.
(Also, I've been working on other assignments and things. I wrote a pretty decent book from a Harris Burdick picture - Those are great fun, you should try it one time.)
Anyways, the best of luck to you, but it's a long way down the old dirt road, and you'll begin to see some pretty mixed forests soon enough.
Very nice story, pretty good plot and story line, but your grammar is not the best (nor worst) that I've seen.
You use things like (this is an example, not a direct quote) "I kick at the first, then punched next him." Pretty good example. It illustrates multiple points:
You use more than one tense in the same sentence -- kick is present tense, punched is past tense
The grammar isn't that great(though please realize that this example is a basic idea I have of your grammar, not exactly how your grammar is) -- then punched next him. It should be: then punched him next/then next punched him.
Sometimes you don't specify certain things, or leave something out of the sentence -- I kick at the first. Okay, what's 'the first'?
(Haha, just another example of the basic idea I have of your writing. Sorry if it's offensive, I do not mean it to be that way, but rather informative.)
But yeah, I like the story, it's just a bit hard to read. Keep up the good work!
Feel free to leave your comments. Or criticisms, I suppose, if they're constructive. Almost anything really, unless it's an outright threat. In that case I'd prefer you put it in a private message.
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I have been inspired by many other stories to write one myself. Any comments and feedbacks are well appreciated! They can help me down my venture through the road of an author. I will create a new chapter every weekend, so check on.. every Friday and Sunday. Give me your thoughts about how I'm going, positive or negative, I accept all. Thanks!
◘|•♦•Line Breaker!•♦•|◘
"There are a lot of stories in this book. Sorted with bookmarks in chapters. Pick one."
Prologue
The day falls. Night descended upon the world of Minecraft. Townspeople went to their beds. The world's gone quiet. A man appears, dressed in black from head to toe, a hood covers his face. Crunching rocks under his feet, he walks up to a nearby inn. 'Pigs and Cows', weird name and yet its always packed. But not on a night like this, not on a beautiful full moon. The man swings the door open, stepping on the wooden floor, creating a sound under his will. Nobody looks to him. Or rather, nobody is here. The man enters, still with his hood on. The inn keeper, polishing an ale glass, looks up at him.
"Room or food. What ye'll have?" The innkeeper said to him, still keeping his eyes on him.
"Tell me about the village." A dark voice escapes the man's throat.
"There are thousands of villages around the land, me boy. Which certain village?"
"The village.. down south.
The innkeeper narrowed his eyes at the hooded man that had seated on a stool. The man had yet to reveal his identity. Certainly a spy? Or an assassin? The innkeeper put down the ale glass he was polishing, now nervous of the man's identity. He reached for the blade hidden in his clothes, but the man stood up, and faced him. The hood, still shading his face away.
"I will not hurt you, as long as you comply." The hooded man spreads a smile on his face.
"I would rather know of your identity first before so." The innkeeper said, keeping his hand on the blade.
"Please, no violence. I am unarmed. I just need guidance."
"Identity first."
"Why is it so important?"
The innkeeper stopped. He released his grip on the blade and calmed himself. Just another traveler seeking death perhaps. He turned around towards the wine case and took out a wine bottle.
"Let's talk over with wine."
The hooded man seemed hesitant. Took him a second to answer. Or two.
"Sure."
The innkeeper received two small glass under the counter and handed one to the hooded man. He released the cork and pour some red wine for himself and the man. The hooded man held his glass but does not drink any of the wine.
"Can you give me information now?"
"Of course. The place you are heading.. is dangerous, young traveler."
The innkeeper gulped down the wine and inserted the cork back in the wine bottle. The hooded man doesn't drink the wine yet.
"Tell me all you know, please."
"All evil of this land, rose from the village there."
"There's more."
The innkeeper sighed. The traveler is crazy. Lots of travelers have been sent to death because of the curiosity that drives them.
'How many more dead travelers will I bring?' The innkeeper, thought to himself.
"Don't mind me. My life is none of your business."
"I know nothing more. But there's just one thing, young traveler."
"Tell me."
"Stay cautious and stay alive."
Then the man gulped down the wine. He stood up and tossed a few gold pieces on the counter for the innkeeper. The man bowed his head and reached for the exit. A sense of guilt fell upon the innkeeper.
'What have I done?'
Chapter 1
The snow blows hard. I stomp on the snow, hanging onto the only jacket I have. With every step, frostbite surges through my feet. I should have brought more clothing. Furious snow blew against me, screams of cold death at my ears. I can't hold onto these hard snow any longer. I pulled my head up, a cave within range. Some distance, not far. I ducked under a tree as another gale of freezing snow blew across. I proceed to walk again, my joints screamed in protest. My brain demands rest. I'm almost on my limit. The cave, near. I made a last leap into it and rolled onto the cold hard stone and into the cave. It's not deep, just a hole on the surface on a hill. I inched into the deepest part of the cave and began heating myself, blowing hot air onto my hands.
I reached into my backpack and took out some small firewood and a flint and steel. These are necessities when traveling down south. I spread them neatly on the floor and lit the woods with the flint and steel. Several attempts were made until success. A flicker of flame appeared, tiny and weak at the bottom of the wood pile. I protected it from the cold winds and slowly huffed breathe onto the fire, giving it life. Not long, the fire grew strong, I sat beside it, listening to the cold winds outside.
'Guess I need to wait it out.' I thought to myself, inching closer to the flames of warmth.
I proceed to save my legs, removing the clothing underneath them. I lied down near the flames, with the legs bare. It took quite a long time for my legs to feel things again. A brush of fatigue brushed me. In an instant, I lay down, sleeping peacefully. How long has it been since I left home..?
...
I feel something brushing against my leg. Moist and funny. I wiggled my leg in reply. It stopped, then it came again. I opened my eyes, a wolf stood there. I don't need to brandish my blade, its probably wanting company. I looked outside, its still night with the cold wind. The wolf was probably begging for warmth. I sat up and patted it on the head, with a smile. The wolf looked up in my eyes. I should name it. How about..
"Lukey."
The grey wolf barked. I never heard wolves barked before. I spread a smile on my face, rubbing its chin. The wolf whined in pleasure and rested its weary head and mind on my lap. I guess, another companion isn't bad. I lay down to rest again.
"The damn wind doesn't stop."
...
Warmth. I opened my eyes, Lukey was still resting. Its probably hungry for staying out there for who knows how long. I stretch my hand towards the backpack, careful not to disturb Lukey's slumber. I picked out 3 bones for it to munch at and placed in next to him. Afterwards, I shook Lukey awake. It opened its eyes, gazing up at me. I pointed at the bones and it stared at the bones. Lukey got up and started munching at the bones greedily. I turned my head to the side, the sun shone at the sky, soft snow falling to the ground. The fire already died out. I reached into my bag again, obtaining a strip of red leather. It was suppose to be my bandana but I tied it around the wolf as a collar.
"Welcome to the pack, Lukey."
The wolf ignored me but I'm sure it heard my words. I sling the bag over my shoulder and walked towards the exit of the cave with Lukey behind me. In his mouth were 2 bones. 1 was already gone. What a glutton. I took out my compass to look for the South. I followed my gaze towards the South and in the distance, was a village. I step on the snow and freezing cold spread up my legs. I jumped back and realized..
"I forgot my boots.."
...
The village was not that special. I thought it would be sort of scary when the innkeeper told that 'all evil rose from there'. The life here looks normal. Villagers walks around, trading and socializing. I approach one of them, with emeralds on my hand. The villager nodded and would trade away 8 breads for 1 emerald. I gladly accept as I'm running low on food. I place the emerald on the villager's open palm and before I knew it, he took off running. Took me a second to formulate what's going on...
"Thief!"
I chased after the villager. He's pretty fast, so I asked Lukey for aid. Wolves can run undoubtedly fast, sprinting over 4 times faster than we minecraftians can. Wolves can catch anything in the blink of an eye. The villager was of no exception. I managed to follow up with Lukey. Looks like Lukey already caught the villager. What I see, was a wolf biting down the villager's leg, blood flowing down. I approach the villager, with a smirk on my face. I look into his pockets and took out the emerald I had and 8 bread.
"Good trade."
I walked away with Lukey following my short after. Suddenly, a man appeared in front of me. He jumped down from a building perhaps. The man wore casual traveler gear, leather armor and an iron sword. I readied my blade, anticipating any attacks. The man stood passive, smiling at me. In his hands, a letter for me. He handed it to me. I took it from his hands and unfolded the letter.
The letter reads..
'Dear Traveler, what say you join our guild? We offer refreshments, rest and of course, a bit of action. We guarantee you'll be pleased.'
I released my gaze from the letter and onto the man in front of me. He smiled again, waiting for an answer. I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. I approached the man with a smile on my face.
"Yes?" The stranger said, as if predicting the answer.
I chuckled slightly.
"No." And a punch was slammed hard onto his face. He fell to the ground with a large thud. I rubbed my knuckles in slight pain. This village was rumored to be cursed with some.. evil deity. I've got to be a bit more cautious.
Chapter 2
Darkness. All around me, I am blinded by the black colour. I can barely see the palm of my hands. I moved my legs forward, the sound of my feet contacting with the floor echoed around me. I moved another step when a voice whispered behind me.
"Having fun?"
I jumped, frightened. I turned around quickly, facing a pair of glowing eyes. I backed away from him, fear rising in me. I screamed my muscles to confront the man but it is as if I lost control to my whole body. A wide smile cuts across his face, his palm open towards me to grasp. I felt a sudden push behind me and caught hold of his hand. I immediately released my grip and faced him.
"Herobrine," the man smiled, hand extended to shake.
I hesitated but shook his hand either way.
"Vyce." I replied.
"Well Vyce, nice to meet you." He smiled.
Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. My legs bent and I fell. I looked down, seeing a sharp knife plunged deep into my stomach. Crimson blood dyed my clothes in red and flowed like a river downwards. I grasped the knife with both of my arms in attempt to pull it out. I can see a leg appear in front of me. I looked above to see Herobrine with a sword on his right, ready to deliver the final blow. With a smile, he brought the blade down.
"Guh!" I snapped my eyes open.
I quickly sat up quickly, my hands feeling for wounds in the stomach. I looked down to confirm no injuries were made. Was it a nightmare? Yet, it felt so real.
I breathed a relief and closed my eyes for a moment. Herobrine. Why does it felt like I heard that somewhere before? I looked around, finding myself in a similar cave before I entered the village. Feeling extra cautious, I decided to do camping and rest outside the village. I approached my backpack, leaning to the cave wall to the right and obtained a cooked porkchop. I munched on it greedily as I got ready to leave for the village. Luke came around the corner and ran towards me, barking all the way. I bent down and patted him on the head. Giving my porkchop one last bite, I gave the rest to Luke as breakfast.
....
"You also a visitor here?" Iskandar, an adventurer asked me.
I nodded, sipping at my drink. We sat opposing each other in the inn. I'm not really slacking off. Apparantly, this adventurer is off here in a similar task as mine so I figured extra help would be great. I explained to him about me coming here by orders sent directly by the king himself.
"So you're like a royal knight?" He asked with admiration.
"No. Not really. Just a mercenary."
He nodded his head, mouth opened 'ahh' in understanding. He suddenly lifted his head and reached for something inside his coat. He got a piece of scroll, rolled neatly and handed it to me.
"A map. It's a sighting a weird stuff that I saw. You can go investigate. I'm not really skilled."
I opened the scroll revealing bad scribbles, smiley faces, badly drawn houses and a big red arrow pointing to an X. I raised my eyebrow at him. He shrugged and looked away. I rolled the scroll back neatly and tucked it under coat. I finished my drink and stood up.
"Meet here again tommorow. I'll go to the place at night."
"You be careful, yah?" He smiled at me, taking out a small book for small reading. I exit the Inn, introducing myself to the sunlight again. I walked a few steps back to my cave when I suddenly felt an evil aura at a distance.
Almost instantly by instinct, I raised my blade quickly, deflecting an arrow masterfully. A sound was fired from the forest ahead and I sidestepped, evading the shot. At the corner of my eye, I saw what I assumed to be an arrow. I bent my back, letting the arrow zip past me in a whoosh. With three arrows shot across the field, the town fell in panic. Villagers ran frantically for their home. An arrow was fired again. I focused ahead but the arrow was not for me.
"Iskandar!" My voice penetrated through the building.
Iskandar looked at me for a brief moment. He smiled. And then he fell. The arrow zipped across the glass and buried itself into Iskandar's head.
I kicked the door open and ran for Iskandar, almost tripping when I turned around a corner. I quickly knelt beside him, inspecting the wound. He's obviously dead, the arrow plunged into his head. Upon closer inspection, a note can seen stuck onto the arrow's feather. I plucked it for me to read.
"Wake up, Vyce."
Chapter 3
The village falls in a deathly silent as the last villager flee into his home. The night is lit only by the large full moon. The trees sway with the winter breeze, the only sound in the dark hour. The creatures of the dark did not rise, for tonight is a beautiful night. The full moon watches over the frozen village as if a mother nurturing her child. A figure moves swiftly pass the brush, crunching the grass below his feet. The figure appears from the shadows, revealing himself as Vyce. Taking out the scroll, Vyce tries to make out the best of what little aid Iskandar has provided for his task.
Vyce follows the path listed on the map, crunching twigs at his feet. He was careful not to trip while studying the scribbles on the paper. By instincts, he assumes the location of the sightings are right behind the town hall. He lifted his head, ahead of him a small trapdoor located exactly as he predicted. However, nothing strange seems to be observed. Vyce crouches behind the brush, hiding his presence from any possible followers. Vyce remains in his location patiently for half an hour before deciding to scrap the suspicions, As he turn his back, he immediately hears a weird grumbling sound coming from the trapdoor.
Turning his head to look again, his eyes widen in awe but no voice escapes his throat. Just near the trapdoor, he sees a similar man in his dreams. Herobrine.
The man has his back facing Vyce. Vyce returned to his position and lies down on the cold snow floor, remaining invisible to the man. The man turned around, as if facing Vyce but his eyes peer somewhere behind him. Vyce remained passive, unsure of what the man is facing. Suddenly, he hears twigs snapping behind him. Footsteps. Something is approaching. Vyce was unable to dodge the approaching figure for a single snapping of the twigs on the snow floor can uncover his location. Vyce did what he could and held his face down to the ground, hoping the figure would not step on him.
"The preparations for the ritual is complete." A deep voice can be heard just beside Vyce as the footsteps stop.
"Good. Begin immediately." A voice, assumed to be the man's, replies.
Vyce could vision the figure nodding and left the scene with heavy footsteps. Vyce lifts his head slightly to see that the man, Herobrine, has vanished somewhere. Vyce sat up quietly, yet to leave his hiding spot. He observed his surroundings for the man, Herobrine, but to no avail. Replaying the scene he witnessed, he realized something is going on in this town but rather unknown at what it could be. Thinking it could be safe to leave, Vyce stood up and turns to walk away.
"Vyce.."
Vyce quickly turns around, brandishing his blade out but no man stood before him.
What was that..
"Wake up."
Vyce turns again, facing Herobrine before him. The man levitated in air, his hands in his elbows. His face showed no emotion as if one of a corpse. Vyce readies his blade for fight but the man remained passive.
"Wake up and realize."
And the man vanishes in a cloud of what appears to be sparkling aqua dust. Vyce sheaths his blade after the mysterious encounter. He walked back to his cave again, all the way with his hand on his chin, thinking.
"Realize?"
Vyce walked past the village and out to the winter forest. He turned left, back to his cave. Lukey lifted his head to Vyce's appearance. It gave a small bark, welcoming its master home. Vyce placed down his backpack onto the hard floor and approached his bed, made out of purchased wool and chopped wood. He sat on his bed and took out his journal from the backpack to the first empty page. Striking a torch alight, he stands it beside the bed and began writing on his journal.
When the wolf has ventured into slumber, the flames of the torch were eliminated and Vyce kept his journal back into his backpack. Vyce lied down on his bed, savoring the comfort of rest. He let his eyelids fall and fell asleep quickly. The full moon shone brightly in the sky tonight, and will it again on the next night.
A myth once said, "The moon a sign, for when she shine in nights aplenty, the world will fall in its wake."
Chapter 4
The village is bustling with activity as the sun stood gallantly high in the sky. Big-nosed villagers all crowd around the market, purchasing necessary goods to serve their needs. Some ventured out into the woods to go for hunting. The smaller ones stay at home, entertaining themselves with others. It all seemed so great. Yet, the rumors speak of the opposite.
Vyce hung his sheathed blade on his waist and carried his backpack. Munching on slightly-burnt fish, he ventured to the village with Lukey beside him. Vyce tossed the fish to the ground and began retracing the steps back to where he was the day before. He reached the trapdoor behind the town hall once again. Vyce searches around his memory and tried to recall the whole scene. Slowly replaying the whole witnessing, he remembered the figure that almost spotted him and the location he went to. Lifting his head towards a small gap in the thick snowy forest, Vyce knew exactly what his next move would be.
Vyce cuts through the branches and think shrubs that seem to crawl out to him as he makes his way across the snowy forest. His boots crunches heavily down onto the snowy floor. Vyce looks to the sky, only to find the tree canopies restrict much of the view of the sky. Vyce ventured onwards with Luke just close by. The sound of crunching snow continues when suddenly Lukey lifted his head from sniffing the ground. Seeing this suspicious, Vyce stopped to listen.. to nothing. A heavy sound came from behind them and they quickly faced it but nothing was there.
Just the snow that collapses.
Vyce continued with Lukey following close by, all the while its head held high. Little did they know, a shadowy figure was following them sneakily without Lukey's consent.
Vyce stood before a large structure of ender stone and obsidian. From what Vyce could vision, it appears to be a small part of a destroyed castle or some ruins. Nevertheless, Vyce seems peculiar towards this structure and ventured in it. Lukey stood at the entrance to watch by. But just as quickly as Lukey turned its head to hear a sound in a distance, the shadowy figure nimbly went into the structure with Vyce.
Vyce lit a torch and walked down the stairs. The darkness seems to be calling to him as he carefully stepped down the staircase. The torch as his only guidance, he dared not to lose it or drop it. Vyce carefully made his way down when he heard a loud grumbling sound coming from below. By instincts, Vyce quickly dashed to the right wall and extinguished his torch. The grumbling sound began to grow larger and Vyce anticipated what would come next.
Vyce crouched to remain as invisible as possible in the dark. The source of the sound appeared visible from the bottom of the stairs, out of the darkness. The figure climbed the stairs in a slow manner, its glowing purple eyes peering to the top of the staircase. As the figure grows larger, Vyce held his breathe to keep silent. The figure continued its steps passed Vyce, not knowing of his presence. Vyce breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the figure stopped moving and turned around to face Vyce. Vyce held his breathe, still hanging on believes that the figure is yet to spot him. The figure approaches closer when he suddenly stop, a step from contacting him. He released a grumbling voice as he watched 'Vyce' then turned to leave.
Vyce waited for the figure to exit the structure before pressing onwards, not daring to ignite his torch. Vyce walked down the staircase in total darkness for a while, almost tripping along the way, before facing an iron door. A button is embedded beside the door as a switch. Without a doubt, he pressed it. Suddenly the ground below him gave way and he fell through it. Heat and light suddenly surrounded him and he realized,
He's falling to a lava pit.
Until then, happy writing!
That's not cursive, that's italics.
Happens which is why I read these on desktops.
Ahh well.. I put italic in speech dialogues because it can sort things a bit better. Because if its normal passage all the way, it could be a bit hard to read (in mu vision). So a change in dialogues (for me) is necessary to allow the reader to read things a bit better.
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Curse PremiumI said this. Two days later, my computer's motherboard melted down and I had to get a new one with Windows 8.
Irony in the first degree.
Of course. I'll post a format for that.
Also, chapter 1 has been made. I feel sort of bored without doing anything... so here it is. Give me your feedbacks~
Feedbacks well appreciated. Any comments can help me improve my writing.
Share the word too! It can benefit me and help me reach my goal of behind a cool author of a novel.
Thanks and enjoy reading~
Stay Genuine. Stay Fearless.
Read and if possible, leave some good comments.
I'll be glad to accept any of them except the types that usually speak 'Trollololol!'. (Jk)
Sorry for the horrible delay, didn't mean to do it.
Would be nice to leave some comments and feedbacks~
Yeah? Sure? Cool!
Pretty lonely around here. Comment please.
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward sentences, an any person would suggest you should get yourself or somebody else to check over your work.
As an author myself, the fan fiction business can be extremely tiring. First you get no attention, then you get loads of it but you're exhausted from producing for a small crowd - it's very hard to commit to a whole book. Try your best but you'll need the patience of a saint if you want to complete the story. I know you reviewed by book - you can see I'm starting to strain it out. It's not fun after a while.
(Also, I've been working on other assignments and things. I wrote a pretty decent book from a Harris Burdick picture - Those are great fun, you should try it one time.)
Anyways, the best of luck to you, but it's a long way down the old dirt road, and you'll begin to see some pretty mixed forests soon enough.
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/1672537-the-ravine-a-story-in-which-nobody-survives-chapter-1-now-out/#entry20690277
- You use more than one tense in the same sentence -- kick is present tense, punched is past tense
- The grammar isn't that great(though please realize that this example is a basic idea I have of your grammar, not exactly how your grammar is) -- then punched next him. It should be: then punched him next/then next punched him.
- Sometimes you don't specify certain things, or leave something out of the sentence -- I kick at the first. Okay, what's 'the first'?
(Haha, just another example of the basic idea I have of your writing. Sorry if it's offensive, I do not mean it to be that way, but rather informative.)The ending stays the same though.
I will start writing on the Fridays and Sundays of every week.
Which mean, expect something on this Friday.
Adios.
Hey! It's SteveFox74! I know you from the Terraria Forums! You commented on my "A Terraria Story" like two years ago.