Minecraft Forums

Thank you for looking at this topic,this is one of my many stories about minecraft.but this is my first gore story and first one rated M.So, here it is.

So, you all are thinking this is one of those'Once Upon A Time, in the land of Princessisia, a lovely girl lived in harmony' stories, youve come to the wrong place.What you are about to read is the gory battles of Steve, a brave warrior fighting for his country.Rated M for blood and gore.Reader Discretion Is Advised...
decapitated heads everywhere.Blood stained grass lay on the fainted battle field.Steve held his head up high, and charged toward the mutant zombies, stabbing them with his sword as he went along.Steve wiped his face with his battered hand, geting the splattered blood off.Round 2 was coming, and Steve had no bow and arrow.But before you knew it, skellies were eveywhere, shooting at him.Steve fell to the ground, and was drowning in his own pool of blood.With the constant reminders of death, he got up,saturated in his own blood.Now this was serious.He ran for his chest, and grabbed his bow and one arrow.With a whole field of skeletons, this was tough.One shot, one chance..he pulled back the bow..

Steve was tired and lonely, with the accompany of the mobs who attack him.He had to get medical attention for his knee, before he bled to death.When that bow went off, the world went silent for a moment.
He killed 30 skeletons with that one shot.He knew he was good.And that was the end of the battle for today.He packed up his stuff and headed off to his car..
Chapter 2 coming soon!

Your gore is so over-the-top and cheesy that it comes back around and becomes goofy and light hearted. Remember, one painful wound is a hundred times more meaningful than a thousand painful wounds.

Quote from PopRocks

Your gore is so over-the-top and cheesy that it comes back around and becomes goofy and light hearted. Remember, one painful wound is a hundred times more meaningful than a thousand painful wounds.

Quote from Immortus

It's a good story, but I would suggest using more variety in sentences. I think you started a sentence with 'Steve so and so' three or four times. There are also a few missing apostrophes and capitals missing.

And also don't forget to put a space after a comma and a full stop. This is really minor but it makes it easier to read. Looking out for chapter 2!

Thank you two for your critiscm, thoughts and compliments.It means alot to me that people are actually reading my work.Right now im working onchapter 2 and will be posting it later!