You've definitely improved and this perspective suits your writing style far more from what I can tell so far, I haven't read the whole thing but from what I've seen I don't think I need to. The few slight errors I have noticed are just a few commas in some odd places but I'm sure you'll pick up on that when you read through in your head in the next 'Creation' stage or whatever you call it. One thing though, fix the prologue title!
The Beginning!
:wink.gif:
I'm sure I will find those commas, that's the very reason I edit my works so often.
Gosh, I feel so very dumb now. How could I have possibly missed that.
EDIT:
Oh, and thank you very much. I like this perspective far more. I never really liked the other way after I read through it the first time, but I already had quite a bit typed out and really didn't want to re-type it. I finally got the motivation to do so, clearly, and I'm feeling quite happy about the way it looks now.
The next bit is really hard, I have to write a story being told by a dude in a story being told by Bob. Talh will tell Bob the legend, so I have to completely change my writing style, perspective, preferences and everything. It's difficult to get it right, but I should be able to get it done by tonight.
edit:
WHAT THE HELL GUYS? We're gonna break 1000 views REALLY soon. THIS IS TOO EARLY! I need to finish chapter 2 before then! And I can't type right now, my hands are still frozen from being out in 1 degree weather all day.
HEY. HEY. HEY. IT'S 1/6/2012. NO REASON. JUST SAYIN'
Good morning to you all, or good afternoon, or good night. IDK. It's midnight here. I just finished chapter 2, for the most part, and I'm sure a lot of you wanted to know. So here you go. I think Chapter 2 may be the most serious chapter that I've yet wrote. And it may stay that way for a while, after all, we are in a town. And comedians like towns. Maybe a show? IDK. I'm still thinking about chapter 3. :smile.gif:
ASDASAJF Am I reading that right? Is that... QUADRUPLE DIGITS IN THE VIEW COUNT? AWWWWWW YEAH! WE BROKE 1K. 1005 views, and I can now sleep happily. Thank you all!
Hey this is great!!! i did find one error in the last line or two ;D
it should be wasn't not was.
. I was expecting such a hungry visitor." Talh responds, showing hints of sarcasm towards the end.
i highlited the word in red, its right at the end of chapter two.
Keep up the good work!!! writing is hard! my brother writes and often gets stumped
This story is rather interesting. I like it. I can wait for chapter 3...unless you end up driving me crazy without that chapter. No seriously, this is very good. There's more detail and depth into it than in my story.
See, that's what inspires me to write: books. I take some ideas here and there from stories, but end up twisting them in my own way, which makes it pretty much original. *Bookmarking so I can see the progress of this very interesting story.*
Hey this is great!!! i did find one error in the last line or two ;D
it should be wasn't not was.
. I was expecting such a hungry visitor." Talh responds, showing hints of sarcasm towards the end.
i highlited the word in red, its right at the end of chapter two.
Keep up the good work!!! writing is hard! my brother writes and often gets stumped
End of chapter two... Ah yeah, I wrote that half asleep lol. I'll go fix that up now, thanks.
Also, I don't get stumped. I know exactly what I want to write, only problem is, I don't know how I want to. I've actually left out some info, that I will write each chapter about 2-3 times before I feel satisifed with how it looks, and feel it's good enough for a rough draft. It's definitely hard to write, but it's something I enjoy. I don't think I'll ever stop. I'm sure you can expect me to be writing these for many years. Who know how many books in this series I'll write. :smile.gif:
@Pokemon418copy3
Thanks, that's pretty much how I do it. Read a book, take inspiration from it. Or sit down, and watch people. See what interesting things they do, steal their personalities. :smile.gif:
I DISAPPEARED! I KNOW! IT SUCKS RIGHT? But that's alright, as right now I am currently working on implementing the 1000 viewer event, and making the finishing touches to chapter 3! Which means I'm just starting it, but don't wanna admit it. :wink.gif:
Thank you so much guys for trying to keep this alive. Here's the story why I left.
I actually wrote chapter 3, and I hit the submit button. It was all finished, going swell. But, if you'll look at when I posted I was finishing chapter 3, you'll notice Minecraftforums actually crashed later that day. I lost all of chapter 3. I was completely frustrated, and I couldn't think straight. I knew if I wrote anymore, it wouldn't be of the best quality. I took a week long break, just to clear my mind from the frustration. I must've spent at least 3 hours on that.
I just quit it. I couldn't find inspiration after that week, I wanted to come back, desperately. But I didn't want to write a crappy chapter. Sorry for having left, but I'm finally back, and I have inspiration again. I've lost my foolishness, and will write the chapter in a copy on my hard drive, then just paste it in here. I was saving backups every update, but never actually wrote it elsewhere. My mistake, and I truly am sorry guys. To those that seemed interested, I sent you all PM's to notify you that this has been revived.
UNFORTUNATELY. I actually have to leave to work about 5 minutes ago. However; I will be back in about 12 hours, and I will be writing chapter 3. A couple friends of mine asked to read this when I brought it up to them, and having remembered this, and re-read it myself, I just can't stand to watch Bob and Alice die off. They will forever be my babies.
ALSO. I am going to be building a Minecraft adventure map based on this after I get 5 chapters done. Hope you guys all look forward to many new updates coming out.
Again, I truly am sorry for having left. But I could never leave Bob and Alice alone. Check back in about 24 hours, and I PROMISE you chapter 3 WILL be written, and uploaded. I promise. I actually planned on doing it last night.. But I got distracted, and tired. So yeah, chapter 3 tonight.
P.S. HOLY ****. 2K VIEWS? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. I still gotta do something for 1K views.. Now 2K views as well. By the time I get those done, I'll be at 3K views I'm sure!
Yes, I have not included events/easter eggs. THEY ARE STILL THERE. AND WILL STILL BE A LARGE PART OF THIS STORY. However; I've yet to actually implement them in this new thread design. I have ALL the information regarding them saved on my computer, and will hopefully complete the new thread design tomorrow. Also, I'm beginning to build the starting area of my Minecraft adventure map either tonight, or tomorrow morning. Just the forest, cave, creeper encounter and the ocean. Aside from that, nothing will be created yet.
Also, in case you guys haven't noticed, Alice DOES do some things off on her own. As such, the game will best be played with two players, one as the role of Bob, and one as the role of Alice. She will have a seperate starting area, and blah blah blah. Hopefully the adventure map will give more detailed visuals and character developments for some of the less important characters. Really looking forward to being able to finish all these projects I have going on. They're all so much fun.
SO EXCITED! So much is happening with this story right now. Here are a few things I have planned for the future. Too much to handle proper events, but these should more than make up for the lack of community events in the recent months.
1. iDevice app. I don't have a mac, but I'm trying to find a work-around right now. Hopefully I can make an iDevice app and put it up for free, so you guys can read on the go!
2. Android app. I believe I can program android apps on windows 7.. Not sure, never done it. But how hard can it be?
3. Adventure map.
4. Facebook/twitter page are in the process of being made. Trying to make an image for the profile picture, and adding a bunch of information. You guys will be able to follow me, and get updates right to your facebook/twitter!
5. Adventure map mods. Yep, there are some mods I need that I can't find. So I'm making them.
6. Adventure map. It's ****ing big. And horrible to make. And big, so it's mentioned twice. I'm just about done making the forest, and I've been at it for like 10 minutes. I don't use any world edits or anything. Every block is placed by hand. I may end up needing some help.. Yeah, I think I'll make a post, I'm really not the best with that kinda stuff.
I don't know if I want to write chapter 4 now, or later.. Thinking I'll make some breakfast, and then write chapter 4.. There are pros and cons to either time. I have like 4 hours now, and get 4 hours later on at night..
I've never written during the morning, so maybe I will write chapter 4. See which time I'm better at. Look forward to chapter 4 within the next 2 or 3 hours.
I'm sure I will find those commas, that's the very reason I edit my works so often.
Gosh, I feel so very dumb now. How could I have possibly missed that.
EDIT:
Oh, and thank you very much. I like this perspective far more. I never really liked the other way after I read through it the first time, but I already had quite a bit typed out and really didn't want to re-type it. I finally got the motivation to do so, clearly, and I'm feeling quite happy about the way it looks now.
edit: lol nice banner
True survival server, and fun!
The next bit is really hard, I have to write a story being told by a dude in a story being told by Bob. Talh will tell Bob the legend, so I have to completely change my writing style, perspective, preferences and everything. It's difficult to get it right, but I should be able to get it done by tonight.
edit:
WHAT THE HELL GUYS? We're gonna break 1000 views REALLY soon. THIS IS TOO EARLY! I need to finish chapter 2 before then! And I can't type right now, my hands are still frozen from being out in 1 degree weather all day.
Good morning to you all, or good afternoon, or good night. IDK. It's midnight here. I just finished chapter 2, for the most part, and I'm sure a lot of you wanted to know. So here you go. I think Chapter 2 may be the most serious chapter that I've yet wrote. And it may stay that way for a while, after all, we are in a town. And comedians like towns. Maybe a show? IDK. I'm still thinking about chapter 3. :smile.gif:
it should be wasn't not was.
. I was expecting such a hungry visitor." Talh responds, showing hints of sarcasm towards the end.
i highlited the word in red, its right at the end of chapter two.
Keep up the good work!!! writing is hard! my brother writes and often gets stumped
From The Animal Starring Rob Schnieder
See, that's what inspires me to write: books. I take some ideas here and there from stories, but end up twisting them in my own way, which makes it pretty much original. *Bookmarking so I can see the progress of this very interesting story.*
End of chapter two... Ah yeah, I wrote that half asleep lol. I'll go fix that up now, thanks.
Also, I don't get stumped. I know exactly what I want to write, only problem is, I don't know how I want to. I've actually left out some info, that I will write each chapter about 2-3 times before I feel satisifed with how it looks, and feel it's good enough for a rough draft. It's definitely hard to write, but it's something I enjoy. I don't think I'll ever stop. I'm sure you can expect me to be writing these for many years. Who know how many books in this series I'll write. :smile.gif:
@Pokemon418copy3
Thanks, that's pretty much how I do it. Read a book, take inspiration from it. Or sit down, and watch people. See what interesting things they do, steal their personalities. :smile.gif:
Here's a story I'm writing. So yeah.
Silent Raven
~hgn1
You just lost The Game.
I actually wrote chapter 3, and I hit the submit button. It was all finished, going swell. But, if you'll look at when I posted I was finishing chapter 3, you'll notice Minecraftforums actually crashed later that day. I lost all of chapter 3. I was completely frustrated, and I couldn't think straight. I knew if I wrote anymore, it wouldn't be of the best quality. I took a week long break, just to clear my mind from the frustration. I must've spent at least 3 hours on that.
I just quit it. I couldn't find inspiration after that week, I wanted to come back, desperately. But I didn't want to write a crappy chapter. Sorry for having left, but I'm finally back, and I have inspiration again. I've lost my foolishness, and will write the chapter in a copy on my hard drive, then just paste it in here. I was saving backups every update, but never actually wrote it elsewhere. My mistake, and I truly am sorry guys. To those that seemed interested, I sent you all PM's to notify you that this has been revived.
UNFORTUNATELY. I actually have to leave to work about 5 minutes ago. However; I will be back in about 12 hours, and I will be writing chapter 3. A couple friends of mine asked to read this when I brought it up to them, and having remembered this, and re-read it myself, I just can't stand to watch Bob and Alice die off. They will forever be my babies.
ALSO. I am going to be building a Minecraft adventure map based on this after I get 5 chapters done. Hope you guys all look forward to many new updates coming out.
Again, I truly am sorry for having left. But I could never leave Bob and Alice alone. Check back in about 24 hours, and I PROMISE you chapter 3 WILL be written, and uploaded. I promise. I actually planned on doing it last night.. But I got distracted, and tired. So yeah, chapter 3 tonight.
P.S. HOLY ****. 2K VIEWS? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. I still gotta do something for 1K views.. Now 2K views as well. By the time I get those done, I'll be at 3K views I'm sure!
Mr.Piggles is watching you.
Yes, I have not included events/easter eggs. THEY ARE STILL THERE. AND WILL STILL BE A LARGE PART OF THIS STORY. However; I've yet to actually implement them in this new thread design. I have ALL the information regarding them saved on my computer, and will hopefully complete the new thread design tomorrow. Also, I'm beginning to build the starting area of my Minecraft adventure map either tonight, or tomorrow morning. Just the forest, cave, creeper encounter and the ocean. Aside from that, nothing will be created yet.
Also, in case you guys haven't noticed, Alice DOES do some things off on her own. As such, the game will best be played with two players, one as the role of Bob, and one as the role of Alice. She will have a seperate starting area, and blah blah blah. Hopefully the adventure map will give more detailed visuals and character developments for some of the less important characters. Really looking forward to being able to finish all these projects I have going on. They're all so much fun.
PART OF CHAPTER 3 UPLOADED. Too tired to finish it, but I will finish it tomorrow. Find out what's behind door #1!
SO EXCITED! So much is happening with this story right now. Here are a few things I have planned for the future. Too much to handle proper events, but these should more than make up for the lack of community events in the recent months.
1. iDevice app. I don't have a mac, but I'm trying to find a work-around right now. Hopefully I can make an iDevice app and put it up for free, so you guys can read on the go!
2. Android app. I believe I can program android apps on windows 7.. Not sure, never done it. But how hard can it be?
3. Adventure map.
4. Facebook/twitter page are in the process of being made. Trying to make an image for the profile picture, and adding a bunch of information. You guys will be able to follow me, and get updates right to your facebook/twitter!
5. Adventure map mods. Yep, there are some mods I need that I can't find. So I'm making them.
6. Adventure map. It's ****ing big. And horrible to make. And big, so it's mentioned twice. I'm just about done making the forest, and I've been at it for like 10 minutes. I don't use any world edits or anything. Every block is placed by hand. I may end up needing some help.. Yeah, I think I'll make a post, I'm really not the best with that kinda stuff.
I've never written during the morning, so maybe I will write chapter 4. See which time I'm better at. Look forward to chapter 4 within the next 2 or 3 hours.