Never was a day so horrid as this. The rain pounded on the roof of the small shack, quickly built to withstand the temporal downpours. Inside was a man, huddled in a blanket, a small fire burning in the corner only heating him some. The thunder boomed in the distance and he tightened his ball formation. The water dripped through small cracks in the ceiling wetting him further. Rain sounded like explosions, every drop blowing up. Hard rain. The normally blue sky replaced with the eerie summer storm cloud. Gray and dank. The only thing anyone can do today, would be to sit by their fireplaces and read a book about far away lands.
Fragrant, it smelled of roses. Perhaps daffodils, no, violets. Roses. The small parchment in the mans pocket, thickly coated with perfume. He didn't dare to reach to grab it, for the wet will surely destroy it and ruin the delicious smell. It was a note from his beloved. She was probably crying, thinking he was dying in the cold. That is not true, he is not close to death, he is in perfect shape. The blue eyes, his long brown windblown hair. He scratched the stubble that littered his face. The heavy bags under his eyes drooped from lack of sleep. A rap on the small wooden door that was thrown together, roused him from his coma-like state. The rain wasn't as bad as it was a minute ago. Whoever was out there, had a lot of guts to be out in weather such as this. Everyone knew, on harsh rain days, that monsters roamed the lands of Minecraftia. Horrible creatures ventured from below the surface and rose from caves to torment those who come out during the day.
The rap occurred again. He threw the blanket onto the dry part of the ground. This revealed his torn tunic and ruffled pants. They are both stained a sickly green, probably from sweat and grass. He opened the door to reveal a man with a business-man look and a Japanese style mustache.
"Hello, Sir." He said.
"What do you need?"
"I was wondering if you needed a place to stay, I don't live too far away from here, and I couldn't help notice a small flickering light in the distance."
"No thanks, i'm fine."
"I insist." The man now had a demonic after tone that lasted for a second.
"No. I am fine."
The Business man lunged at him. He drew his small dagger and shoved it through the Business man's chest. The Business man disintegrated into thin air with a small poof. There was no bloodshed. A smell of sulfur lingered in the air for a little while, but dispersed as the rain lightened. Unmistakable horrors definitely lurked in the plains and left soon after the rain had dispersed. The man picked up a small fruit from the ground beside him, it was pure red. Apple, they called it. He called it his meal. He rose the meal to his face and bit down. Clear liquid leaked from the gaping lacerations in the meal. It swelled in his mouth, he let it linger. The sweet flavor of the fruit lined his tongue as he bit into another part, tearing off the hard flesh that covered it's seeds. He chewed it for a bit, but the flesh lost flavor and he swallowed.
His little shack, now shrouded in darkness, stood still. It looked as if it had never been touched once in the following 20 years. Life was still simple in the 20 years that had passed. The man is now 40 years of age, he spends his time rocking back and forth on a small chair in front of a fire telling stories from when he was young. His favorite story was when he went Below.
Chapter 1
A few knocks on his door proved that he was in fact, not insane. He moved with a rapid pace and agility that could only be matched by a Cheetah. The only sound that was made, was the creaking of the door, opening slowly. Outside was a man, dressed in an almost mediocre getup, he had a long beard. Short, thick brown hair and a stubby face, only to be accompanied by a very expensive set of eyeglasses that rested on his pudgy nose ever so slightly. He wore a bright red suit that screamed, "I'M RICH, AND HAVE POOR FASHION TASTE!". He opened his mouth and greeted the man.
"Hello, sir!"
"Yes? What do you need?"
"You are Arcane Gladthux?"
"Yes?"
"The Mayor wishes to see you right now!!"
Arcane slammed the door, leaving the red suited man behind it. The bang echoed through the corridors of his home, yet the Red Suited man kept persisting. Knocking on the door until Arcane thought his hand would fall off. The Red suited man stopped knocking, but started yelling.
"It's important!"
Arcane about had enough at this point. He stepped across the squeaky floorboards until he reached the door. The knob under his fingers, he twisted again. The door fell open once more and he saw the Red Suited man again, except this time, he followed him to the Town Hall.
The hall was brilliant. It was made of the finest brick ever. Imported from a faraway land, it sure brought tourists to the small town of Rivershine where Arcane resided. The Red Suited man had introduced himself to be the Mayor's assistant, his name was Cornelius. Cornelius let Arcane move forward to push open the grand double doors that lead into the central chamber of the Town Hall. It was massive, built in 20 years, it had a brilliant mural of pictures lining the dome at the top. It was of angels floating towards the sky into a bright light lined with clouds.
Arcane stepped forward to the front desk. A pretty lady sat in the chair. Her blonde mane flowing down her back, touching her hips. Blue eyes sparkled brightly in the torchlight. Arcane leaned forward and touched his lips to hers.
"Hello Artemis." Arcane said as he leaned away.
"Hello, my love, the Mayor is waiting, please, don't be late."
Artemis pointed her index finger in the direction she wanted Arcane to go. Her fingernails painted with the Rose pulp. Arcane could smell it from where he was standing, not 5 feet away from her. He moved in the direction, only to be stopped by her. She embraced him, he could feel the warmth radiating off her.
"Good luck." she whispered.
Chapter 2
"Good you made it."
A man sitting in a large chair said this. His features resembled Cornelius greatly. The pudginess, the glasses, the nose. The only difference, was his suit. Black, with gold linen sowed into it.
"Yes, did you expect me to get lost?" Arcane said, his faint British accent heard.
"No no. I was just hoping you wouldn't."
"I'm not, here I am, why did you want me?" Arcane snapped.
"Simmer. Listen, I'm going to be blunt."
"Yes?"
"There were some odd disturbances that have been occurring for the past few nights. We expect it to be coming from the small Shrine west of the town."
"And?"
"You are the most skilled warrior here, we need you Arcane."
Despite his heavy magical name, he was in fact, born in a warriors home. His father part of an Imperial army somewhere that was long forgotten in time. His mother died of fever when he was 14. His dad made him into what he is today, a killing machine.
"Go on." Arcane said blandly, annoyed.
"Well, you are to go to the Shrine to find the cause of the disturbance at once."
"If I decline?"
The mayor leans in closer.
"I'll have you killed."
For the first time, even though he should have long ago, Arcane looked around the small chamber. Around 10 armed footsoldiers stepped out of the shadows that cased the room.
"You're trying to intimidate me?"
"Yes, Do you accept?"
"Fine." Arcane sighed.
"Good, I knew you'd accept my terms, now leave."
Arcane pushed the chair back, sighed, and got up. His hair in his eyes. He followed a few of the footsoldiers out of the room. They lead him to barracks and an armory, He wasn't issued armor, but he was issued a stone sword. It would have to do, even if it was prone to breaking, and was dull.
Arcane felt the chill of the night wind cut into his face. He could feel the gallop of the horses that drove the wagon. Apart from Arcane, three other people were riding in the wagon with him. All guards. All of them had their heads down except for one of them, who was just staring out at the darkness of the night. A light snow had started to fall a bit ago, it was now developing into a small snow storm.
Chapter 3
It felt like ages, but they finally stopped. The small snow storm, was now a blizzard. They were no doubt in the mountains that were always in the distane of Rivershine.
"We're here, get off." A guard said.
Everyone unmounted the wagon and tried to look through the thick snow. Through the snow Arcane could make out the building that houses the shrine. He moved towards the shrine in quick haste to get out of this storm.
Inside the Shrine house, everything was lit by torches that lined the walls. It was a small shack that had a few benches and was made out of wood. Arcane walked toward the shrine that was at the far wall of the shack.
Arcane extended his hand out to touch a small object on an altar. His hand never made it. The floor underneath him collapsed. The whole buidling collapsed. Before Arcane could react, he was sliding down a tunnel into the abyss. He landed on his feet and collapsed to the ground. Beside him lay the small object. He picked it up and inspected it. The thing was yellow, with an emerald core. There were small spikes on the side. he pocketed it and sat up. A small light shone in through a crack in the high ceiling. The walls of the cave were ominous, the only thing that kept the cave from caving in on itself, were the large bone pillars that lined the walls. Arcane layed back and rested his head on a peice of wood that fell with him.
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
Nobody respects a good read anymore. I got pushed back, and this is a good story. lol.
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Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
Nobody respects a good read anymore. I got pushed back, and this is a good story. lol.
I'm starting to believe everyone on this forum is half retarded. All it takes to get veiws is putting either notch, herobrine, creeper, or enderman in your title. All i want to see is some actual original stuff.
It seems like a pretty good and original story. I agree with Lemur; why can't people appreciate original stuff and not the mediocre "OMG HEROBRINE/NOTCH/ENDERMAN/ETC" concept. I know I may sound a bit harsh, but we really need to get rid of the bad fan art threads so the good ones don't get buried. It's like a beautiful rose in a pile of crap, no one will try to get it.
Anyway, the story kept me wondering about the backstory. I have good hopes for this one.
Oh, and Vylie. Care to explain why it's mediocre? If you're going to say something negative at least have a reason why. I'm not trying to be a fanboy here, but reasons behind criticism is how we can tell the difference between critics and trolls.
It seems like a pretty good and original story. I agree with Lemur; why can't people appreciate original stuff and not the mediocre "OMG HEROBRINE/NOTCH/ENDERMAN/ETC" concept. I know I may sound a bit harsh, but we really need to get rid of the bad fan art threads so the good ones don't get buried. It's like a beautiful rose in a pile of crap, no one will try to get it.
Anyway, the story kept me wondering about the backstory. I have good hopes for this one.
Oh, and Vylie. Care to explain why it's mediocre? If you're going to say something negative at least have a reason why. I'm not trying to be a fanboy here, but reasons behind criticism is how we can tell the difference between critics and trolls.
You honestly made my day. I felt a tear coming for a bit. :3
Because my story if obviously mediocre, I mean, y'know.. I did use Notch as a god, and Enderman that break my house.
ANYWHO,
Thanks for the comment I guess, good to get some feedback, even if it always isn't positive.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
You my good sir, are a Ignoramus. You are not willing to EVEN read a story just because of it's title. As the old saying goes. You can't judge a book by it's cover. I however admit that this is usually true.
I admit that quite a few stories are mediocre. but there has to be some good endermen stories. right? (I have ATTEMPTED to create one because I felt that all endermen stories i've read are the same)
Thanks for the criticism?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
those criticisms are not directed at you or your story. to be on subject this story's ok. Needs a little improvement.
ELABORATE?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
you sound as if you could write better. Your argument is invalid, sorry champ.
I dunno. I do write often. And my agrument isn't invalid.
Y'know, though, I read it again, and I can't agree with myself. This isn't mediocre. It's a pretty good story. I like your (the author's) writing style. Watch tenses, though.
'"I'm not, here I am, why did you want me?" Arcane snapped.'
'The mayor leans in closer.'
Past that, I think you've done quite well! Good job!
I dunno. I do write often. And my agrument isn't invalid.
Y'know, though, I read it again, and I can't agree with myself. This isn't mediocre. It's a pretty good story. I like your (the author's) writing style. Watch tenses, though.
'"I'm not, here I am, why did you want me?" Arcane snapped.'
'The mayor leans in closer.'
Past that, I think you've done quite well! Good job!
Thanks, for the critisism and the comments! I'm also dearly confused. What do you mean by "I read it again, and I can't agree with myself."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
Sick! I can't wait for more; really nice characters.
Oh my god.. Someone actually read it! Wow.. I have been gone for a long time.. and.. well.. I might be writing more, make sure to follow this post.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.
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Fresh rain. Slick mud. Thunder.
Never was a day so horrid as this. The rain pounded on the roof of the small shack, quickly built to withstand the temporal downpours. Inside was a man, huddled in a blanket, a small fire burning in the corner only heating him some. The thunder boomed in the distance and he tightened his ball formation. The water dripped through small cracks in the ceiling wetting him further. Rain sounded like explosions, every drop blowing up. Hard rain. The normally blue sky replaced with the eerie summer storm cloud. Gray and dank. The only thing anyone can do today, would be to sit by their fireplaces and read a book about far away lands.
Fragrant, it smelled of roses. Perhaps daffodils, no, violets. Roses. The small parchment in the mans pocket, thickly coated with perfume. He didn't dare to reach to grab it, for the wet will surely destroy it and ruin the delicious smell. It was a note from his beloved. She was probably crying, thinking he was dying in the cold. That is not true, he is not close to death, he is in perfect shape. The blue eyes, his long brown windblown hair. He scratched the stubble that littered his face. The heavy bags under his eyes drooped from lack of sleep. A rap on the small wooden door that was thrown together, roused him from his coma-like state. The rain wasn't as bad as it was a minute ago. Whoever was out there, had a lot of guts to be out in weather such as this. Everyone knew, on harsh rain days, that monsters roamed the lands of Minecraftia. Horrible creatures ventured from below the surface and rose from caves to torment those who come out during the day.
The rap occurred again. He threw the blanket onto the dry part of the ground. This revealed his torn tunic and ruffled pants. They are both stained a sickly green, probably from sweat and grass. He opened the door to reveal a man with a business-man look and a Japanese style mustache.
"Hello, Sir." He said.
"What do you need?"
"I was wondering if you needed a place to stay, I don't live too far away from here, and I couldn't help notice a small flickering light in the distance."
"No thanks, i'm fine."
"I insist." The man now had a demonic after tone that lasted for a second.
"No. I am fine."
The Business man lunged at him. He drew his small dagger and shoved it through the Business man's chest. The Business man disintegrated into thin air with a small poof. There was no bloodshed. A smell of sulfur lingered in the air for a little while, but dispersed as the rain lightened. Unmistakable horrors definitely lurked in the plains and left soon after the rain had dispersed. The man picked up a small fruit from the ground beside him, it was pure red. Apple, they called it. He called it his meal. He rose the meal to his face and bit down. Clear liquid leaked from the gaping lacerations in the meal. It swelled in his mouth, he let it linger. The sweet flavor of the fruit lined his tongue as he bit into another part, tearing off the hard flesh that covered it's seeds. He chewed it for a bit, but the flesh lost flavor and he swallowed.
His little shack, now shrouded in darkness, stood still. It looked as if it had never been touched once in the following 20 years. Life was still simple in the 20 years that had passed. The man is now 40 years of age, he spends his time rocking back and forth on a small chair in front of a fire telling stories from when he was young. His favorite story was when he went Below.
Chapter 1
A few knocks on his door proved that he was in fact, not insane. He moved with a rapid pace and agility that could only be matched by a Cheetah. The only sound that was made, was the creaking of the door, opening slowly. Outside was a man, dressed in an almost mediocre getup, he had a long beard. Short, thick brown hair and a stubby face, only to be accompanied by a very expensive set of eyeglasses that rested on his pudgy nose ever so slightly. He wore a bright red suit that screamed, "I'M RICH, AND HAVE POOR FASHION TASTE!". He opened his mouth and greeted the man.
"Hello, sir!"
"Yes? What do you need?"
"You are Arcane Gladthux?"
"Yes?"
"The Mayor wishes to see you right now!!"
Arcane slammed the door, leaving the red suited man behind it. The bang echoed through the corridors of his home, yet the Red Suited man kept persisting. Knocking on the door until Arcane thought his hand would fall off. The Red suited man stopped knocking, but started yelling.
"It's important!"
Arcane about had enough at this point. He stepped across the squeaky floorboards until he reached the door. The knob under his fingers, he twisted again. The door fell open once more and he saw the Red Suited man again, except this time, he followed him to the Town Hall.
The hall was brilliant. It was made of the finest brick ever. Imported from a faraway land, it sure brought tourists to the small town of Rivershine where Arcane resided. The Red Suited man had introduced himself to be the Mayor's assistant, his name was Cornelius. Cornelius let Arcane move forward to push open the grand double doors that lead into the central chamber of the Town Hall. It was massive, built in 20 years, it had a brilliant mural of pictures lining the dome at the top. It was of angels floating towards the sky into a bright light lined with clouds.
Arcane stepped forward to the front desk. A pretty lady sat in the chair. Her blonde mane flowing down her back, touching her hips. Blue eyes sparkled brightly in the torchlight. Arcane leaned forward and touched his lips to hers.
"Hello Artemis." Arcane said as he leaned away.
"Hello, my love, the Mayor is waiting, please, don't be late."
Artemis pointed her index finger in the direction she wanted Arcane to go. Her fingernails painted with the Rose pulp. Arcane could smell it from where he was standing, not 5 feet away from her. He moved in the direction, only to be stopped by her. She embraced him, he could feel the warmth radiating off her.
"Good luck." she whispered.
Chapter 2
"Good you made it."
A man sitting in a large chair said this. His features resembled Cornelius greatly. The pudginess, the glasses, the nose. The only difference, was his suit. Black, with gold linen sowed into it.
"Yes, did you expect me to get lost?" Arcane said, his faint British accent heard.
"No no. I was just hoping you wouldn't."
"I'm not, here I am, why did you want me?" Arcane snapped.
"Simmer. Listen, I'm going to be blunt."
"Yes?"
"There were some odd disturbances that have been occurring for the past few nights. We expect it to be coming from the small Shrine west of the town."
"And?"
"You are the most skilled warrior here, we need you Arcane."
Despite his heavy magical name, he was in fact, born in a warriors home. His father part of an Imperial army somewhere that was long forgotten in time. His mother died of fever when he was 14. His dad made him into what he is today, a killing machine.
"Go on." Arcane said blandly, annoyed.
"Well, you are to go to the Shrine to find the cause of the disturbance at once."
"If I decline?"
The mayor leans in closer.
"I'll have you killed."
For the first time, even though he should have long ago, Arcane looked around the small chamber. Around 10 armed footsoldiers stepped out of the shadows that cased the room.
"You're trying to intimidate me?"
"Yes, Do you accept?"
"Fine." Arcane sighed.
"Good, I knew you'd accept my terms, now leave."
Arcane pushed the chair back, sighed, and got up. His hair in his eyes. He followed a few of the footsoldiers out of the room. They lead him to barracks and an armory, He wasn't issued armor, but he was issued a stone sword. It would have to do, even if it was prone to breaking, and was dull.
Arcane felt the chill of the night wind cut into his face. He could feel the gallop of the horses that drove the wagon. Apart from Arcane, three other people were riding in the wagon with him. All guards. All of them had their heads down except for one of them, who was just staring out at the darkness of the night. A light snow had started to fall a bit ago, it was now developing into a small snow storm.
Chapter 3
It felt like ages, but they finally stopped. The small snow storm, was now a blizzard. They were no doubt in the mountains that were always in the distane of Rivershine.
"We're here, get off." A guard said.
Everyone unmounted the wagon and tried to look through the thick snow. Through the snow Arcane could make out the building that houses the shrine. He moved towards the shrine in quick haste to get out of this storm.
Inside the Shrine house, everything was lit by torches that lined the walls. It was a small shack that had a few benches and was made out of wood. Arcane walked toward the shrine that was at the far wall of the shack.
Arcane extended his hand out to touch a small object on an altar. His hand never made it. The floor underneath him collapsed. The whole buidling collapsed. Before Arcane could react, he was sliding down a tunnel into the abyss. He landed on his feet and collapsed to the ground. Beside him lay the small object. He picked it up and inspected it. The thing was yellow, with an emerald core. There were small spikes on the side. he pocketed it and sat up. A small light shone in through a crack in the high ceiling. The walls of the cave were ominous, the only thing that kept the cave from caving in on itself, were the large bone pillars that lined the walls. Arcane layed back and rested his head on a peice of wood that fell with him.
MORE TO COME
COME ON.
Nobody respects a good read anymore. I got pushed back, and this is a good story. lol.
I'm starting to believe everyone on this forum is half retarded. All it takes to get veiws is putting either notch, herobrine, creeper, or enderman in your title. All i want to see is some actual original stuff.
Anyway, the story kept me wondering about the backstory. I have good hopes for this one.
Oh, and Vylie. Care to explain why it's mediocre? If you're going to say something negative at least have a reason why. I'm not trying to be a fanboy here, but reasons behind criticism is how we can tell the difference between critics and trolls.
You honestly made my day. I felt a tear coming for a bit. :3
Because my story if obviously mediocre, I mean, y'know.. I did use Notch as a god, and Enderman that break my house.
ANYWHO,
Thanks for the comment I guess, good to get some feedback, even if it always isn't positive.
Thanks for the criticism?
you sound as if you could write better. Your argument is invalid, sorry champ.
ELABORATE?
I dunno. I do write often. And my agrument isn't invalid.
Y'know, though, I read it again, and I can't agree with myself. This isn't mediocre. It's a pretty good story. I like your (the author's) writing style. Watch tenses, though.
'"I'm not, here I am, why did you want me?" Arcane snapped.'
'The mayor leans in closer.'
Past that, I think you've done quite well! Good job!
Thanks, for the critisism and the comments! I'm also dearly confused. What do you mean by "I read it again, and I can't agree with myself."
Oh my god.. Someone actually read it! Wow.. I have been gone for a long time.. and.. well.. I might be writing more, make sure to follow this post.