EDIT: And by that, I mean on MY computer. It may be a while before my next post, as I have some diverting to do.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
I fixed my mistake. It's all good! 2 More chapters up!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
I woke up to the most amazing feeling. My heart was racing, and the feeling only got more and more intense. I opened my eyes to see Sarah on me, kissing me. I went with it, and we kept doing it until she thought it was enough.
Either you're failing at writing a kissing scene, or I'm (again, but in the opposite way) failing at distinguishing romance scenes (may be your writing style, or just me)(Also, if you want as an editor of sorts, (Like with grammar, spelling, or vague scenes like this one) PM me :laugh.gif: ).
Edit: Also, good job not making a Notch reference yet (unless the old man/ other old man/ Zeus(Is that his name? I don't remember.) is supposed to be Notch).
Yeah, I really don't want to make Notch a godly figure like some fanfics, because I follow him on like 4 different things and have seen as lot of videos, and he's really cool guy, so it's a little weird when people make him all powerful and crap.
And I said his heart was racing because she was giving him some of her power. I guess I should've clarified. :\
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
Yeah, I really don't want to make Notch a godly figure like some fanfics, because I follow him on like 4 different things and have seen as lot of videos, and he's really cool guy, so it's a little weird when people make him all powerful and crap.
And I said his heart was racing because she was giving him some of her power. I guess I should've clarified. :\
I thought the heart racing part was fine. Just it did get a little "different" after that.
I thought the heart racing part was fine. Just it did get a little "different" after that.
Exactly what I meant. I knew... ah, forget it.
Edit number too many to count: (Forgot to mention) Apparently, the ability to bend the world to your will is transferred through romance. I'm fine with that. It makes sense in a world where you can punch down trees and the dead rise (and explode). Only one question. (begin rant) Why, of all things, romance? Why does EVERY fanfic have to be centered around ROMANCE? /rant (Not yelling at you or your story,as it is a pretty good one. Just wondering why every minecraft fanfic is either about Herobrine(not a story), a creepypasta(depends on quality), or romance.(Gets boring after 20 one-chapter threads) :dry.gif:)
Well I think when it's about romance it's because it's a guy surviving, and you need a friend. And things are always better with a girl and it always ends up evolving. I read one called Miner's Eternity that wasn't about romance, so you might like it.
But I was really planing on having her have to kiss him to transfer power at first, then a bit later on she could just do it once she's evolved more, but in the writing process that may have been cut off because of...other things (Spoiler?). So yeah, I really didn't purposefully do it to center it around romance, I guess that just kind of happened. :\ I think at one point she just had to touch him. I may have forgotten about that one, which could've been good.
And really early in the story I was planning on them just staying friends, but I guess it just wouldn't last like that. I mean, a guy and a girl who so easily connect, traveling alone? You can't not have romance there.
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
It’s been a year since I woke up on that beach.
-snip-
I saw something that never in my 15 years of life have I ever seen.
15+1=16 at most
*Implying that he is at most 16 and yet all of this romance is going on*
Also, I already read M.E. (and DoAC)
EDIT: Yes, I know that most people won't notice that detail, but some other forum-goers have a great eye for details, and they may also think it is a bit strange. (Also, you CAN continue the story after the Aether, so long as you can think of what to write.) Also, on another (completely unrelated) note, if you do continue the story, use logic with romance scenes (Hint: CHILDREN) (zuned1, if you read this, you should remember this too for your story (a certain scene in, what was it, chapter 13 of OHD2M).
EDIT AGAIN: IF you can make a good (working link) picture, I will give it the honor of the first thing ever in my siggy.
(Also, Posted before trolls/inattentive users demand detailed romance, even though you said you wouldn't on the first page(was going to make an "inb4" of this, but was too lazy)
EDIT YET AGAIN: Chapter 16, zuned1, not 13.
15+1=16 at most
*Implying that he is at most 16 and yet all of this romance is going on*
Good point, but I don't know if you realized throughout but that first line was an INCREDIBLY short future, look. Like this is James a year from now telling you all of this, so he is still 15, but may have turned 16 at some point. Nothing can be told exactly due to the time distortions.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
Good point, but I don't know if you realized throughout but that first line was an INCREDIBLY short future, look. Like this is James a year from now telling you all of this, so he is still 15, but may have turned 16 at some point. Nothing can be told exactly due to the time distortions.
My point was, that while the story was actually taking place,(not when he is talking to you, but when the story is actually happening)the story itself says that he is at most 16 when he is talking to you, therefore, at youngest, he is 15 when the story eventually ends.
Oh well. There is something else though. Is he actually physically sitting/standing with you, or are you reading his diary or something? ALSO, I have an idea for possibly bringing in a new character to help continue the story past the Aether, IF you choose to keep this tale going.(PM me for the basic idea of it. Also, warning. It WILL be in 3rd person. Sorry, I just explain ideas for books/stories best in 3rd person. Or you could shift to the POV of you, the person who is listening to him, therefore making the story 2nd person after a certain point (YOU did this, YOU did that) Or you could make it so that book one ends with " and that is what he told me", so YOU then become the person listing to what someone ELSE told you about what the main character (at this point) told him about his story, then shift to the POV of the "you" of book 1 for book 2)
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
I so wanna read this, but it'll have to wait untill I don't feel like crap. Hopefully soon.
Get better soon!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
I couldn't find it. Try a personal conversation instead.
Look for a conversation called Offer Reply by meh!
And MinerMan21, Thanks! You make me feel like a special little boy :3
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
The newer chapters are taking much longer, so don't hold me on that "couple of chapters every few days" thing.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
Oh. My. God.
Best story ever! I feel so bad for James. It's a lot for him to take!
Thanks! And yeah, he's been through quite some pain, physically and emotionally.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
So there's this thingy I wrote, and it even has a sequel in progress! But instead of writing like a good little boy I just play Minecraft, or whatever games on my Steam library I haven't finished yet. Oh, and Borderlands 2 is the greatest thing to grace the human race (Mechromancer ftw).
Finished with the editing :smile.gif: (yes, I am the editor for this story). Chapters 28 and 29 should be put up as soon as Calvez can post. :biggrin.gif:
Spoilers
WARNING, Spoilers.
Sorry, not allowed. All I can tell you is that its awesome :laugh.gif: .
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
EDIT: And by that, I mean on MY computer. It may be a while before my next post, as I have some diverting to do.
Either you're failing at writing a kissing scene, or I'm (again, but in the opposite way) failing at distinguishing romance scenes (may be your writing style, or just me)(Also, if you want as an editor of sorts, (Like with grammar, spelling, or vague scenes like this one) PM me :laugh.gif: ).
Edit: Also, good job not making a Notch reference yet (unless the old man/ other old man/ Zeus(Is that his name? I don't remember.) is supposed to be Notch).
And I said his heart was racing because she was giving him some of her power. I guess I should've clarified. :\
I thought the heart racing part was fine. Just it did get a little "different" after that.
Exactly what I meant. I knew... ah, forget it.
Edit number too many to count: (Forgot to mention) Apparently, the ability to bend the world to your will is transferred through romance. I'm fine with that. It makes sense in a world where you can punch down trees and the dead rise (and explode). Only one question. (begin rant) Why, of all things, romance? Why does EVERY fanfic have to be centered around ROMANCE? /rant (Not yelling at you or your story,as it is a pretty good one. Just wondering why every minecraft fanfic is either about Herobrine(not a story), a creepypasta(depends on quality), or romance.(Gets boring after 20 one-chapter threads) :dry.gif:)
But I was really planing on having her have to kiss him to transfer power at first, then a bit later on she could just do it once she's evolved more, but in the writing process that may have been cut off because of...other things (Spoiler?). So yeah, I really didn't purposefully do it to center it around romance, I guess that just kind of happened. :\ I think at one point she just had to touch him. I may have forgotten about that one, which could've been good.
And really early in the story I was planning on them just staying friends, but I guess it just wouldn't last like that. I mean, a guy and a girl who so easily connect, traveling alone? You can't not have romance there.
15+1=16 at most
*Implying that he is at most 16 and yet all of this romance is going on*
Also, I already read M.E. (and DoAC)
EDIT: Yes, I know that most people won't notice that detail, but some other forum-goers have a great eye for details, and they may also think it is a bit strange. (Also, you CAN continue the story after the Aether, so long as you can think of what to write.) Also, on another (completely unrelated) note, if you do continue the story, use logic with romance scenes (Hint: CHILDREN) (zuned1, if you read this, you should remember this too for your story (a certain scene in, what was it, chapter 13 of OHD2M).
EDIT AGAIN: IF you can make a good (working link) picture, I will give it the honor of the first thing ever in my siggy.
(Also, Posted before trolls/inattentive users demand detailed romance, even though you said you wouldn't on the first page(was going to make an "inb4" of this, but was too lazy)
EDIT YET AGAIN: Chapter 16, zuned1, not 13.
Good point, but I don't know if you realized throughout but that first line was an INCREDIBLY short future, look. Like this is James a year from now telling you all of this, so he is still 15, but may have turned 16 at some point. Nothing can be told exactly due to the time distortions.
My point was, that while the story was actually taking place,(not when he is talking to you, but when the story is actually happening)the story itself says that he is at most 16 when he is talking to you, therefore, at youngest, he is 15 when the story eventually ends.
Oh well. There is something else though. Is he actually physically sitting/standing with you, or are you reading his diary or something? ALSO, I have an idea for possibly bringing in a new character to help continue the story past the Aether, IF you choose to keep this tale going.(PM me for the basic idea of it. Also, warning. It WILL be in 3rd person. Sorry, I just explain ideas for books/stories best in 3rd person. Or you could shift to the POV of you, the person who is listening to him, therefore making the story 2nd person after a certain point (YOU did this, YOU did that) Or you could make it so that book one ends with " and that is what he told me", so YOU then become the person listing to what someone ELSE told you about what the main character (at this point) told him about his story, then shift to the POV of the "you" of book 1 for book 2)
Get better soon!
I couldn't find it. Try a personal conversation instead.
Look for a conversation called Offer Reply by meh!
And MinerMan21, Thanks! You make me feel like a special little boy :3
Best story ever! I feel so bad for James. It's a lot for him to take!
Thanks! And yeah, he's been through quite some pain, physically and emotionally.
Spoilers