Minecraft Forums

(Need better names. Suggestions?) (BTW this takes place in the present)

Day 273-
It was like a dance club exept everyone had guns. Someone from each side would be pushed into the center of the circle of people and either duel, dance, or shoot. It was mayhem. A boy about 16 years old and a girl the same age were pushed into the ring. It was a dangerous combination of a gun fight and a dance. Breakdance, it seemed like. The final move made a hole in the girl's head and the boy blew the smoke from his gun. I smiled, holding the machine gun. I would end this mess, now. I took it out and pulled the trigger. There had been 43 other people left, but I had killed them all with only 17 bullets. The rest of the two gangs were coming in, having heard the screams. I ran out about then, but realized my mistake. The back door lead to the forest behind the building instead of the alleyway. I started running.

This is rather confusing. You did not explain the setting, so the only thing I understood is that there was a gunfight in a bar, and the main character runs of screaming. This seems rashed because it is not detailed.

Not a bar. Anyways it is supposed to seam like he's already writen the important stuff earlier, look at the day number.

I understand, but why have you not started from the beginning?

Because, this whole story centers around the few last days before a detective undercover in a gang when he suddenly dissapears. Then it fast forwards 5 years to him and a small group of people in a small camp outside the walls of Scarlet, wich is a town in the Nether.

*jawdrop*

Um.... what?