This is my attempt at a sequel/branchoff to the story 100 Days To Mine as written by Zuned1:)... Here's how I envision this going. If I get enough positive feedback I'll continue writing the story with updates as often as possible! Hope you like it:) You should probably read his story first though. It's at viewtopic.php?f=1018&t=116443 HAPPY READING!
Chapter 1- He was their King
As I stood there, looking at his lifeless body I seemed to finally understand what had taken place. My grandfather Alex, aged 84, was gone, with no way to get him back. My Grandpa had been all I really had. My dad had left when I was only 4, and my mother used alcohol to deal with the stress of being a single parent. Whenever things got really bad, all I had to do was go to him. He would tell me stories...
Stories of a world he visited when he was about my age, a world where he was a king. In this world he built a kingdom from the ground up and led it with an iron fist, fighting both monsters and even another kid or two to keep it safe from harm. He told me that his wife Julia, who passed away some years ago, was in this world alongside him. His princess. He even told of how he left the world to help fight for a wizard named Notch, only to return to a destroyed land. Sadly, he had to leave his kingdom, sailing away. He said that he seemed to be sailing toward a bright light and as he got close, he felt the same sensation as moving to and back from the nether realm. Only to realise that he was in his bed staring at the sealing.
I remember shedding a tear at these thoughts.
I was probably crying for about an hour before I fell asleep in my chair. Almost immediately after closing my eyes I began to hear screaming, some of the most high-pitched screaming I've ever heard. I just sat still, time seemed to freeze as fear took control of my body. When I finally built up the courage to turn around, something really struck me, It was the glowing purple portal Alex had told me led him into his kingdom. I stood up and slowly walked toward the glow. I pushed my finger out and touched it. Immediately, I felt a strong force pulling on me and I began moving toward the portal, until i was completely engulfed in the glow. Suddenly, I felt myself falling.
I saw water below me.
Chapter 2- The Land That Was Lost
I needed to think fast, so that I would not be injured on contact with the pool of water. I quickly pulled my legs to my body and wrapped my hands around my legs, I tucked my head in and braced myself for the upcoming impact. I felt my entire body ripple as I hit the water. The force was amazing, like being struck a train. But the water rushing around me protected me from any serious damage. I was underwater for a few seconds, looking around myself until I finally spotted light at the surface. I forcefully swam to the top. My head popped above the surface with my shoulders following. I gasped for air, after retaining my breath I started looking around for any possible land structures. I finally spotted land only about one-hundred feet from myself. I swam towards it.
I will admit, I'm not exactly an amazing swimmer, so it probably took me awhile to get to shore. I finally stepped onto the land and looked around, It was exactly as my grandfather had told me. There was vast mountains, some so tall they had snow on their peaks. The mountains seemed to be circling a fairly large forest, with a small pool of water in the center. It was beautiful. I turned around to look at the water from which I came. All I could see was water, nothing else. It made me feel as if I was on the edge of the universe. Once again, time stood still.
I remembered grandpa telling me of the monsters that come out at night. There was zombies, giant spiders, even walking skeletons that shot arrows. But worst of all, there were creepers. Grandpa explained to me that creepers were deformed green creatures with twisted faces. The "creepers" were like timebombs around people. If they came close enough to you, they would make a SSSsss noise and then explode. Destroying most anything in its radius. This was terrifying just to think about. I needed a shelter.
But first i would need some basic tools. I went to some of the trees and took a couple blocks of wood. I then made a simple workbench just as alex described. Finally I made a simple wood pickaxe and a simple wooden shovel. I knew that they wouldn't last long but I also knew that it wouldn't be long until night and that I needed to work fast. I ran up to the side of the mountain and started digging into it. While digging I found some coal that I then used to make a few torches. Once I had dug a decent sized room into the side of the cave, I went back to the entrance. I could see that the sky was beginning to darken, so I quickly blocked the entrance with some cobblestone and lit a couple torches. Next I placed my workbench and got to work on making some better tools out of the stone I had dugout. I even made a stone sword, just in case I needed a secondary method of defense. After I was completely done with building tools, I made a bed of dirt just as Alex had. I laid down and tried to sleep, however I had so many things running through my mind.
The positives seemed to out way the negatives. I felt like I might be able to build myself a better life, maybe even following in my grandfathers footsteps and lead a kingdom. On the other hand, this world is surely dangerous. Judging by the noises coming from outside, it would not be easy to survive. One thing was certain though, I won't be able to do it alone. I had made up my mind, tomorrow, I would explore this seemingly vast world, in search for others.
I fell asleep.
Chapter 3- That was easy.
I ended up having a surprisingly nice sleep, though it was pretty cold inside of the dugout, I probably got about 9 hours of sleep. My grandfather had told me that beginning as soon as the sun rose, The monsters or "mobs" as he had described, would burn to their deaths. This would allow me to begin my search for other intelligent life. I went up to the cave entrance and removed one of the cobblestone pieces. I peeked out the window and saw light. Seeing the light, I figured that it would be safe to go outside, so I went and grabbed the torches and other materials that I had gathered, went and unblocked the rest of the entrance. I stepped outside.
As far as I could see, there was still no life anywhere around me. I knew it wouldn't be that easy, so I looked around and from what I could tell there was only two ways to get out of my current location of a mountain circled forest. One was to try swimming, but I didn't really know how long I would be able to go for. So I decided to take the other route, going over the mountains.
I walked along the bottom of the mountain line until I found a fairly low rising spot upon it. Looking up, I took a deep breath and began my ascent. At first, the climb was fairly steep, with loose gravel falling at the touch very often. However, as I began to get closer to the top. The climb became much easier, with solid stone to grab on to. It probably took me only about twenty minutes to reach the peak. As I regained my breath, I had the ability to check out this strange land from a much better view. It seemed that there was more than one biome in one area. There was a winter with snow covered tops and ponds covered in ice, almost right beside a another area with a summer like scenario, it had flowers and other plants, alongside some of the greenest trees I have ever seen. I was amazed. When I finally looked right in front of me, I saw something very strange, I long, flat area completely covered in grass. And something even stranger, smoke.
I began to walk towards the smoke cloud, thinking it was most likely just a natural fire. However, as I neared the smoke, I saw what seemed to be a small chimney. I started to run as fast as I could. I could see even more of the building. It was a medium sized home, made mostly of cobblestone. It had a couple of glass windows and a wooden roof. The entire grounds were surrounded by a fence that seemed to be too tall to jump over, probably for extra monster protection during the night, which was probably for the best. I walked up to the large wooden doors and began banging on the doors. I stepped back and waited, but no response arose. Again, I knocked and again, no response.
I decided that because the fire was still burning inside, there must have been someone here recently, so I decided just to sit against the fence and wait. I sat there alone with my thoughts for what seemed to be hours. I looked up to the sky and saw that the sun was beginning to set. Feeling discouraged, I stood up and began walking towards the door. I felt the house was most likely abandoned, and would provide good protection that night until tomorrow when I would try again. I walked into the house. There wasn't much on the main floor, just a workbench, table, and a couple of chairs. Upstairs, there was just a large room with a cotton bed, and a small table. I went and laid down on the bed. Suddenly, I heard thumping sounds coming from down stairs. I thought to myself for a moment and realized hat I had left the door open! I grabbed my sword and began moving towards the stairs. As I reached the top of the stairs I heard a voice saying, "Hello?" I quickly responded with the same and began walking downstairs.
[COMING SOON]
Chapter 4- People Don't Always Listen To Their Elders. ESTIMATED CHAPTER RELEASE DATE--- JANUARY 20
Take a guess as to what the next chapter may be using the chapter title. Maybe you'll get it spot on;)
{{NOTICE}}
Leave a comment telling me you'd like to get chapter updates. I'll add you to a list and PM you every time I finish a chapter letting you know:)
First, I must say that I cannot really criticize anything if it is too short. So I'll try to get things from this part first.
1: It seems a bit rushed. He almost falls asleep and oh! Portal.
2: Why would Alex just sail back to the normal world? I think sailing back to the normal world would be a bit more...intense. And I'm not quite sure how any of this connects with the ending, with the evil king.
That's really all I can say right now with the limited length. Still, I think you should continue. Considering this is your first story.
Off Topic: This is making me feel like writing my own sequel. Of course, I should probably finish my current story first. O_O
I liked the idea, but you seemed to branch off of the actual story towards something else, not a sequel. I wouldn't call it a sequel but just maybe another story connected to 100 days to mine.
Btw I read 100 days to mine and loved it and it inspired me to start writing a short story. I'd appreciate it if you could read mine through and give me some feedback as I'm getting kinda discouraged.
First, I must say that I cannot really criticize anything if it is too short. So I'll try to get things from this part first.
1: It seems a bit rushed. He almost falls asleep and oh! Portal.
2: Why would Alex just sail back to the normal world? I think sailing back to the normal world would be a bit more...intense. And I'm not quite sure how any of this connects with the ending, with the evil king.
That's really all I can say right now with the limited length. Still, I think you should continue. Considering this is your first story.
Off Topic: This is making me feel like writing my own sequel. Of course, I should probably finish my current story first. O_O
He sails back at the end dose he not?
Anyway
Keep it up man this is better than what I can write....
I sorta liked it. Granted, I'm not h impress. But I think it's too short. Write another chapter; I'll see if I still like it.
The fact that it's short makes for a hard to review story. :\
First, I must say that I cannot really criticize anything if it is too short. So I'll try to get things from this part first.
1: It seems a bit rushed. He almost falls asleep and oh! Portal.
2: Why would Alex just sail back to the normal world? I think sailing back to the normal world would be a bit more...intense. And I'm not quite sure how any of this connects with the ending, with the evil king.
That's really all I can say right now with the limited length. Still, I think you should continue. Considering this is your first story.
Off Topic: This is making me feel like writing my own sequel. Of course, I should probably finish my current story first. O_O
after reading my writing over, i decided to make a couple changes, because the first chapter needs to be able to grasp a reader quickly. hopefully you will find this to be a better start also don't worry, many more of zuned's original thoughts will be added (including those of the dark king) as the story continues to progress.
I would say your totally copying my ideas, with all the dirt bed and whatnot, but the concept of taking his grandfathers advice. The concept of all of this? This is a take on the story I actually would not have thought of. Sir, if you do not continue the story, I will be forced to kill you. >.>
That wouldn't be nice, would it? No. So keep writing.
Again, I can't really criticize when there isn't much, so don't expect it.
Word choice is improving a bit, that's good.
I can't really say much else until you add more.
I would say your totally copying my ideas, with all the dirt bed and whatnot, but the concept of taking his grandfathers advice. The concept of all of this? This is a take on the story I actually would not have thought of. Sir, if you do not continue the story, I will be forced to kill you. >.>
That wouldn't be nice, would it? No. So keep writing.
Yes! I literally jumped out of my chair when I read this!
Haha yes I even felt like I was stealing your ideas abit, but I wanted to make sure that it relates well to the original story:) And yes, I knew that I wanted to write a sequel. I just couldn't let it end! So I buckled down and thought of a way that I could make an interesting story that still relates to 100 Days, without continuing the original ( just in case you do decide to make another sequel!) Anyways I will defenatly keep writing! Thanks Again!
I'm almost done with my Prologue for the next one. Not sure why I'm calling it a prologue. Prob cause it doesn't really relate to my story at all. I just wrote it, so I'm gonna check back in a few minutes and let my brain take over the editing part of life.
I would never write the same thing the same way twice. So I just edit the perfection out of crap, and then I post it.
He even told of how he left the world to help fight for a wizard named Notch, only to return to a destroyed world.
He also told me about how he had left this world to help a wizard, who's name was Notch, but then returned to find his castle ruined.
...To be honest, the original statement makes it seem like the normal world is the one that was destroyed. A bit hard to rephrase it because that.
Maybe if I change it to returned to a destroyed kingdom?:smile.gif:
This is exactly what I want. People that know well what they're talking about helping me with my story:) thanks!
K, sorry guys, Being Canadian and all, I had to go to hockey;)
Finally got started on that third chapter, It will probably be up later tonight and if not it for sure will be tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for the Patience
[EDIT]
K couldn't finish tonight, didn't want too rush because this is a fairly important chapter:)
will be posting chapter 3 at around 5 pm my time tomorrow.
its 10:15 my time right now for a refrence:)
see ya tomorrow!
Chapter 1- He was their King
As I stood there, looking at his lifeless body I seemed to finally understand what had taken place. My grandfather Alex, aged 84, was gone, with no way to get him back. My Grandpa had been all I really had. My dad had left when I was only 4, and my mother used alcohol to deal with the stress of being a single parent. Whenever things got really bad, all I had to do was go to him. He would tell me stories...
Stories of a world he visited when he was about my age, a world where he was a king. In this world he built a kingdom from the ground up and led it with an iron fist, fighting both monsters and even another kid or two to keep it safe from harm. He told me that his wife Julia, who passed away some years ago, was in this world alongside him. His princess. He even told of how he left the world to help fight for a wizard named Notch, only to return to a destroyed land. Sadly, he had to leave his kingdom, sailing away. He said that he seemed to be sailing toward a bright light and as he got close, he felt the same sensation as moving to and back from the nether realm. Only to realise that he was in his bed staring at the sealing.
I remember shedding a tear at these thoughts.
I was probably crying for about an hour before I fell asleep in my chair. Almost immediately after closing my eyes I began to hear screaming, some of the most high-pitched screaming I've ever heard. I just sat still, time seemed to freeze as fear took control of my body. When I finally built up the courage to turn around, something really struck me, It was the glowing purple portal Alex had told me led him into his kingdom. I stood up and slowly walked toward the glow. I pushed my finger out and touched it. Immediately, I felt a strong force pulling on me and I began moving toward the portal, until i was completely engulfed in the glow. Suddenly, I felt myself falling.
I saw water below me.
Chapter 2- The Land That Was Lost
I needed to think fast, so that I would not be injured on contact with the pool of water. I quickly pulled my legs to my body and wrapped my hands around my legs, I tucked my head in and braced myself for the upcoming impact. I felt my entire body ripple as I hit the water. The force was amazing, like being struck a train. But the water rushing around me protected me from any serious damage. I was underwater for a few seconds, looking around myself until I finally spotted light at the surface. I forcefully swam to the top. My head popped above the surface with my shoulders following. I gasped for air, after retaining my breath I started looking around for any possible land structures. I finally spotted land only about one-hundred feet from myself. I swam towards it.
I will admit, I'm not exactly an amazing swimmer, so it probably took me awhile to get to shore. I finally stepped onto the land and looked around, It was exactly as my grandfather had told me. There was vast mountains, some so tall they had snow on their peaks. The mountains seemed to be circling a fairly large forest, with a small pool of water in the center. It was beautiful. I turned around to look at the water from which I came. All I could see was water, nothing else. It made me feel as if I was on the edge of the universe. Once again, time stood still.
I remembered grandpa telling me of the monsters that come out at night. There was zombies, giant spiders, even walking skeletons that shot arrows. But worst of all, there were creepers. Grandpa explained to me that creepers were deformed green creatures with twisted faces. The "creepers" were like timebombs around people. If they came close enough to you, they would make a SSSsss noise and then explode. Destroying most anything in its radius. This was terrifying just to think about. I needed a shelter.
But first i would need some basic tools. I went to some of the trees and took a couple blocks of wood. I then made a simple workbench just as alex described. Finally I made a simple wood pickaxe and a simple wooden shovel. I knew that they wouldn't last long but I also knew that it wouldn't be long until night and that I needed to work fast. I ran up to the side of the mountain and started digging into it. While digging I found some coal that I then used to make a few torches. Once I had dug a decent sized room into the side of the cave, I went back to the entrance. I could see that the sky was beginning to darken, so I quickly blocked the entrance with some cobblestone and lit a couple torches. Next I placed my workbench and got to work on making some better tools out of the stone I had dugout. I even made a stone sword, just in case I needed a secondary method of defense. After I was completely done with building tools, I made a bed of dirt just as Alex had. I laid down and tried to sleep, however I had so many things running through my mind.
The positives seemed to out way the negatives. I felt like I might be able to build myself a better life, maybe even following in my grandfathers footsteps and lead a kingdom. On the other hand, this world is surely dangerous. Judging by the noises coming from outside, it would not be easy to survive. One thing was certain though, I won't be able to do it alone. I had made up my mind, tomorrow, I would explore this seemingly vast world, in search for others.
I fell asleep.
Chapter 3- That was easy.
I ended up having a surprisingly nice sleep, though it was pretty cold inside of the dugout, I probably got about 9 hours of sleep. My grandfather had told me that beginning as soon as the sun rose, The monsters or "mobs" as he had described, would burn to their deaths. This would allow me to begin my search for other intelligent life. I went up to the cave entrance and removed one of the cobblestone pieces. I peeked out the window and saw light. Seeing the light, I figured that it would be safe to go outside, so I went and grabbed the torches and other materials that I had gathered, went and unblocked the rest of the entrance. I stepped outside.
As far as I could see, there was still no life anywhere around me. I knew it wouldn't be that easy, so I looked around and from what I could tell there was only two ways to get out of my current location of a mountain circled forest. One was to try swimming, but I didn't really know how long I would be able to go for. So I decided to take the other route, going over the mountains.
I walked along the bottom of the mountain line until I found a fairly low rising spot upon it. Looking up, I took a deep breath and began my ascent. At first, the climb was fairly steep, with loose gravel falling at the touch very often. However, as I began to get closer to the top. The climb became much easier, with solid stone to grab on to. It probably took me only about twenty minutes to reach the peak. As I regained my breath, I had the ability to check out this strange land from a much better view. It seemed that there was more than one biome in one area. There was a winter with snow covered tops and ponds covered in ice, almost right beside a another area with a summer like scenario, it had flowers and other plants, alongside some of the greenest trees I have ever seen. I was amazed. When I finally looked right in front of me, I saw something very strange, I long, flat area completely covered in grass. And something even stranger, smoke.
I began to walk towards the smoke cloud, thinking it was most likely just a natural fire. However, as I neared the smoke, I saw what seemed to be a small chimney. I started to run as fast as I could. I could see even more of the building. It was a medium sized home, made mostly of cobblestone. It had a couple of glass windows and a wooden roof. The entire grounds were surrounded by a fence that seemed to be too tall to jump over, probably for extra monster protection during the night, which was probably for the best. I walked up to the large wooden doors and began banging on the doors. I stepped back and waited, but no response arose. Again, I knocked and again, no response.
I decided that because the fire was still burning inside, there must have been someone here recently, so I decided just to sit against the fence and wait. I sat there alone with my thoughts for what seemed to be hours. I looked up to the sky and saw that the sun was beginning to set. Feeling discouraged, I stood up and began walking towards the door. I felt the house was most likely abandoned, and would provide good protection that night until tomorrow when I would try again. I walked into the house. There wasn't much on the main floor, just a workbench, table, and a couple of chairs. Upstairs, there was just a large room with a cotton bed, and a small table. I went and laid down on the bed. Suddenly, I heard thumping sounds coming from down stairs. I thought to myself for a moment and realized hat I had left the door open! I grabbed my sword and began moving towards the stairs. As I reached the top of the stairs I heard a voice saying, "Hello?" I quickly responded with the same and began walking downstairs.
[COMING SOON]
Chapter 4- People Don't Always Listen To Their Elders.
ESTIMATED CHAPTER RELEASE DATE--- JANUARY 20
Take a guess as to what the next chapter may be using the chapter title. Maybe you'll get it spot on;)
{{NOTICE}}
Leave a comment telling me you'd like to get chapter updates. I'll add you to a list and PM you every time I finish a chapter letting you know:)
That Is All
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
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Retired Staff1: It seems a bit rushed. He almost falls asleep and oh! Portal.
2: Why would Alex just sail back to the normal world? I think sailing back to the normal world would be a bit more...intense. And I'm not quite sure how any of this connects with the ending, with the evil king.
That's really all I can say right now with the limited length. Still, I think you should continue. Considering this is your first story.
Off Topic: This is making me feel like writing my own sequel. Of course, I should probably finish my current story first. O_O
Btw I read 100 days to mine and loved it and it inspired me to start writing a short story. I'd appreciate it if you could read mine through and give me some feedback as I'm getting kinda discouraged.
The Land of Caladria
http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic.php?f=1018&t=140157
He sails back at the end dose he not?
Anyway
Keep it up man this is better than what I can write....
"Alex my gradnfather died" Thats all I got.
The fact that it's short makes for a hard to review story. :\
I'm wrote a story. You should read it.
100 Days to Mine
Already read it? Try the sequel,
Vagrants of the Mine
Finished that? Check the next one,
Resurrection of the Mine
Follow me on Twitch and Twitter,
@zuned11 and Twitch/zuned11
after reading my writing over, i decided to make a couple changes, because the first chapter needs to be able to grasp a reader quickly. hopefully you will find this to be a better start
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
I like it so far, yeah.
I would say your totally copying my ideas, with all the dirt bed and whatnot, but the concept of taking his grandfathers advice. The concept of all of this? This is a take on the story I actually would not have thought of. Sir, if you do not continue the story, I will be forced to kill you. >.>
That wouldn't be nice, would it? No. So keep writing.
I'm wrote a story. You should read it.
100 Days to Mine
Already read it? Try the sequel,
Vagrants of the Mine
Finished that? Check the next one,
Resurrection of the Mine
Follow me on Twitch and Twitter,
@zuned11 and Twitch/zuned11
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Retired StaffWord choice is improving a bit, that's good.
I can't really say much else until you add more.
Good luck!
Yes! I literally jumped out of my chair when I read this!
Haha yes I even felt like I was stealing your ideas abit, but I wanted to make sure that it relates well to the original story:) And yes, I knew that I wanted to write a sequel. I just couldn't let it end! So I buckled down and thought of a way that I could make an interesting story that still relates to 100 Days, without continuing the original ( just in case you do decide to make another sequel!) Anyways I will defenatly keep writing! Thanks Again!
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
I'm almost done with my Prologue for the next one. Not sure why I'm calling it a prologue. Prob cause it doesn't really relate to my story at all. I just wrote it, so I'm gonna check back in a few minutes and let my brain take over the editing part of life.
I would never write the same thing the same way twice. So I just edit the perfection out of crap, and then I post it.
I'm wrote a story. You should read it.
100 Days to Mine
Already read it? Try the sequel,
Vagrants of the Mine
Finished that? Check the next one,
Resurrection of the Mine
Follow me on Twitch and Twitter,
@zuned11 and Twitch/zuned11
Can you rephrase this I got pretty mixed up...
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Retired StaffHe also told me about how he had left this world to help a wizard, who's name was Notch, but then returned to find his castle ruined.
...To be honest, the original statement makes it seem like the normal world is the one that was destroyed. A bit hard to rephrase it because that.
Maybe if I change it to returned to a destroyed kingdom?:smile.gif:
This is exactly what I want. People that know well what they're talking about helping me with my story:) thanks!
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
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Retired StaffFinally got started on that third chapter, It will probably be up later tonight and if not it for sure will be tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for the Patience
[EDIT]
K couldn't finish tonight, didn't want too rush because this is a fairly important chapter:)
will be posting chapter 3 at around 5 pm my time tomorrow.
its 10:15 my time right now for a refrence:)
see ya tomorrow!
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/764094-the-reason-title-to-possibly-change/