Note: I honestly don't like this story and how I wrote it. My dislike has nothing to do with the length but instead the style. I don't think 3rd Person suits me.
The Shining Rock
Oh boy! I’m going to find coal, iron, redstone and even diamond! That thought created Sheen Town. But I’m skipping all the important parts. Let’s start at the beginning.
There was once a group of friends. Their leader’s name was James. He was the oldest of the group but also had the biggest dreams of them all. Perhaps that’s what attracted them to him.
They were strong, brave and smart. Monsters could not overcome them. No matter what the monsters were, the six friends would hold them at bay and push them back. Of course, they were always tired after that so they decided to settle down and make a base. One day, James was inspecting their supplies. He can tell you his story much better than me…
I make the weekly check of our supplies. The storage chests are lined up side by side with signs above them, showing their contents. Iron? Check. Redstone? Sufficient. Stone? Too much. Coal? Not enough at all. There are just a few pieces left. We really do need to make more mining runs. I take an iron pick from the chest on the left and walk down into the mine. Have to support the group.
Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop.
Stone block by stone block crumble under the power of the iron pick. Cobblestone pops out and disappears into the small pouch attached to my belt. It starts to get darker as I move further away from the torches. Maybe I should get one and bring it along. I hope I hit a deposit soon.
Plop. Clunk.
Clunk? Light shines through the opening I’ve made. It fills the entire tunnel, rendering the torches useless. Wha…? What the heck is this? I poke it with the handle of my pick.
Clunk.
No response. My palms get sweaty as I imagine what this could mean. Is a monster going to pop out of it? Did I break a wall between dimensions? I stare at it, squinting as to avoid going blind. Some time passes and I deem it safe. I’m sure staring at it for a long time proves that.
I realize something. If this can brighten up the hallway…then maybe this could light up the whole base! I run up down the tunnel and up the stairs.
“SAMUAL, LARRY, KEVIN, BOBBY, CHISTOPHER! WHERE ARE YOU? YOU HAVE TO SEE WHAT I FOUND!” They run in from various entrances, somewhat worried because I usually don’t make a big deal out of mining.
“What is it James? Did you find diamond?” That is the only thing they can bring to mind that I might bring attention to.
“No. Much better than diamond. Follow me.” I grin at their puzzled faces. Their puzzlement only grows when they see the brightness of the tunnel. A few of them gasp when they see the source. I smile in pride, I found this. We might have passed right under it if I had not decided to start the tunnel any lower. They look at me in awe.
“What? What is this?” The sound like me when I first found it. I take the cue and tell them my plan.
“We should take this and hang it in our house. We could save torches from the entire place! You saw what it did to the tunnel! It’s a miracle! Have you even heard of something like this?” They all shake their head. Of course, they agree because my reasons are sensible.
Unfortunately, the method is impossible. We clear the surroundings but cannot budge the Light at all. Need a new plan. I can see the disappointment in my friends’ faces.
“Shame, really, although this calls for a new start. We can carve out a whole new place here. Maybe put the TNT we made to use.” They look at each other and Larry speaks for them.
“What if we run into a cavern? You know how dangerous they are.” A good point. I start to wonder when something finds its way into my mind. And then I know the answer.
“The Light will illuminate it. It will feed on the darkness and translate it into light. That’s why it didn’t go past the tunnel. The torches already got rid of the dark. It will burn all of the monsters. As for the initial creepers, we’ll have to deal with those ourselves. After that, they won’t appear. I just know it.” Unsurprisingly, they are skeptical. I clap my hand on Chris’s shoulder. I’ll persuade them.
“Come on guys, we can invite people from our hometown. We’ll be heroes. Maybe find a girl to stick with. Do you guys not want to live your life to its best?” They look nervous but agree together.
“Alright…Lead the way, James.” So we begin to dig. After a sizable opening is made and we flatten the floor, Kevin volunteers to run over to town and tell them. Maybe even bring them so they can see it.
Amazing how far the six progressed from there.
Part 1: End
Three months later and the Light supports a booming population. Everybody congratulates James on his discovery. He smiles but has a bit of nervousness in his attitude. Nervous from what? Only he knows. People ask him about naming the town. He is surprised but comes up with an answer quickly.
“What’s the town name? Hmm. Never thought about it. How about…Sheen Town? For the Light that keeps us well.” Both the name and the explanation stuck. For the Light that keeps us well.
Years pass and the original six boys are now adults. They contact each other every once in a while but they mainly mind their own role in town. Eventually, they all found the perfect woman and had families. Parents. Wife. Children. The whole town was as happy was possible. But then one day, James disappeared. Worry spread throughout the town like a plague. They searched absolutely everywhere. The third day after his disappearance, the Light descended. Nobody actually witnessed it going down but everybody noticed the change of light. Shadows’ lengths grew beyond natural sizes. Light grew dimmer in some places. Most of the town gathered around the light, wanting answers. Why did it move? Where is James? Is it going to go back? Is something wrong? The questions continued to pour out of their minds. The sound of air being released silences the crowd. An arm reaches out from the top of the Light. A body follows behind it. It’s James.
He pulls off his legendary grin and asks the crowd a question.
“So, you guys miss me?” A shrill voice emerges from the crowd and a woman finds her way to the front.
“MISS YOU? OF COURSE NOT! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” James raises his eyebrows in mild surprise.
“Now Mary-”
“DON’T NOW MARY ME, MISTER! I’M YOUR WIFE AND I DESERVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING INSIDE OF THE LIGHT! WE WERE ALL SO…so…worried. Where were you?” She starts to cry as soon as she steps up to James. He gets out and mumbles something to the Light before offering Mary his shoulder. The Light rises to its original position.
“It’s alright Mary. I’m here now.” He pats her on the back gently and she recovers. Then he addresses the crowd.
“Well then everybody. I suppose you have many questions. Hear me out first. This is a great town. I have great pride in helping to found it. But it isn’t my dream. Three days ago, I thanked the Light for it support and help. I also asked it for guidance. It didn’t answer me at first but then called out to me as I walked away. It welcomed me inside so that we could talk in private and so that it could show me how to achieve my dream. I leave exactly one day from now. I’m going to find diamonds.” There are murmurs from the crowd. How will they get through each day without their founder? James senses their uneasiness and assures them.
“It’s alright everyone. You can manage without me. Just being here is proof enough for that. This town was built by all of you and your dreams. Now let me complete mine.” The crowd understands his desire and opens up a path. He carries Mary home.
Part 2: End
Twenty four hours pass and the whole town gathers at the iron door that opens up into the unexplored. James stops before opening the door and waves them all goodbye. Hands of all types, dark and light, small and large, wave back. He presses the button next to the door and leaves. He won’t be alone though. The town won’t be either. I’ll shine on and light both of their ways.
Yours truly, ~ Light.
If you like my work, you are welcome to give me a rep and/or an internet. I'd really appreciate it! Also, if you'd like to see my other work, go here: Click!
Also, with my work, I go by this quote:
Quote from Best of Bits and Pieces »
Praise does wonders for the sense of hearing.
So just leave a post, any post, really. All, whether harsh criticism, or, well, praise, are appreciated.
Nice book. Just need a few spelling corrections in the YELLING, but overall nice. You should add a little bit more, like he finds the diamond, but then finds a diffrent indestructable block. The Darkness!
Nice book. Just need a few spelling corrections in the YELLING, but overall nice. You should add a little bit more, like he finds the diamond, but then finds a diffrent indestructable block. The Darkness!
Oh snap! It is mispelled. Stupid Word. And staying up until 6 in the morning. As for the sequel...I just MIGHT. But it'll be completely 1st person point of view. I was very dissatisfied with this story. >_>
heyyy have you seen ryanlollies anywhere lately? o-o'' i havnt
great story btw and i suck at 3rd person >->'' but you rock!
He logged on yesterday. Here's his profile.He posted some posts in Beta- Survival, Survival Servers and forum discussion. Right after posting in Timid Affection and the same server that I mentioned above. He's been here lately. Just not today, yet.
On 3rd Person: Actually, all the stories I wrote for school were 3rd person. I had fun writing them but now, as I think back...They didn't get ANYWHERE. And they had horrible descriptions. I think I'll stick with 1st person. It makes it so that I have to include detail but also have to exclude some. Cause the character isn't all knowing. :biggrin.gif:
Edit: Sequel to Timid Affection is going along well on paper and I expect it to be even better typed out. Oh. And my computer died again. CURSE YOU WINDOWS 7 WHEN YOU FAIL! (Holy crap. We can attach files to our posts! when the hell was this?)
LOL >D<
Windows 7? i never liked that ;(
3rd person is strange to me, and you can more easily "hang the reader" if your in 1st person, cuz they dont know all the details
I think this story needs more waffles. Nah im just kidding. The sequel should tell more about how James got married, and how they fell in love. And more about The group.
I think this story needs more waffles. Nah im just kidding. The sequel should tell more about how James got married, and how they fell in love. And more about The group.
I didn't even have a base for this story. I was just like...Hm. Mining. Random light. HUZZAH! STORY! Trust me, the written form is just horrible. I swear, I added so much stuff before posting it.
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Retired StaffOh boy! I’m going to find coal, iron, redstone and even diamond! That thought created Sheen Town. But I’m skipping all the important parts. Let’s start at the beginning.
There was once a group of friends. Their leader’s name was James. He was the oldest of the group but also had the biggest dreams of them all. Perhaps that’s what attracted them to him.
They were strong, brave and smart. Monsters could not overcome them. No matter what the monsters were, the six friends would hold them at bay and push them back. Of course, they were always tired after that so they decided to settle down and make a base. One day, James was inspecting their supplies. He can tell you his story much better than me…
I make the weekly check of our supplies. The storage chests are lined up side by side with signs above them, showing their contents. Iron? Check. Redstone? Sufficient. Stone? Too much. Coal? Not enough at all. There are just a few pieces left. We really do need to make more mining runs. I take an iron pick from the chest on the left and walk down into the mine. Have to support the group.
Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop.
Stone block by stone block crumble under the power of the iron pick. Cobblestone pops out and disappears into the small pouch attached to my belt. It starts to get darker as I move further away from the torches. Maybe I should get one and bring it along. I hope I hit a deposit soon.
Plop. Clunk.
Clunk? Light shines through the opening I’ve made. It fills the entire tunnel, rendering the torches useless. Wha…? What the heck is this? I poke it with the handle of my pick.
Clunk.
No response. My palms get sweaty as I imagine what this could mean. Is a monster going to pop out of it? Did I break a wall between dimensions? I stare at it, squinting as to avoid going blind. Some time passes and I deem it safe. I’m sure staring at it for a long time proves that.
I realize something. If this can brighten up the hallway…then maybe this could light up the whole base! I run up down the tunnel and up the stairs.
“SAMUAL, LARRY, KEVIN, BOBBY, CHISTOPHER! WHERE ARE YOU? YOU HAVE TO SEE WHAT I FOUND!” They run in from various entrances, somewhat worried because I usually don’t make a big deal out of mining.
“What is it James? Did you find diamond?” That is the only thing they can bring to mind that I might bring attention to.
“No. Much better than diamond. Follow me.” I grin at their puzzled faces. Their puzzlement only grows when they see the brightness of the tunnel. A few of them gasp when they see the source. I smile in pride, I found this. We might have passed right under it if I had not decided to start the tunnel any lower. They look at me in awe.
“What? What is this?” The sound like me when I first found it. I take the cue and tell them my plan.
“We should take this and hang it in our house. We could save torches from the entire place! You saw what it did to the tunnel! It’s a miracle! Have you even heard of something like this?” They all shake their head. Of course, they agree because my reasons are sensible.
Unfortunately, the method is impossible. We clear the surroundings but cannot budge the Light at all. Need a new plan. I can see the disappointment in my friends’ faces.
“Shame, really, although this calls for a new start. We can carve out a whole new place here. Maybe put the TNT we made to use.” They look at each other and Larry speaks for them.
“What if we run into a cavern? You know how dangerous they are.” A good point. I start to wonder when something finds its way into my mind. And then I know the answer.
“The Light will illuminate it. It will feed on the darkness and translate it into light. That’s why it didn’t go past the tunnel. The torches already got rid of the dark. It will burn all of the monsters. As for the initial creepers, we’ll have to deal with those ourselves. After that, they won’t appear. I just know it.” Unsurprisingly, they are skeptical. I clap my hand on Chris’s shoulder. I’ll persuade them.
“Come on guys, we can invite people from our hometown. We’ll be heroes. Maybe find a girl to stick with. Do you guys not want to live your life to its best?” They look nervous but agree together.
“Alright…Lead the way, James.” So we begin to dig. After a sizable opening is made and we flatten the floor, Kevin volunteers to run over to town and tell them. Maybe even bring them so they can see it.
Amazing how far the six progressed from there.
Three months later and the Light supports a booming population. Everybody congratulates James on his discovery. He smiles but has a bit of nervousness in his attitude. Nervous from what? Only he knows. People ask him about naming the town. He is surprised but comes up with an answer quickly.
“What’s the town name? Hmm. Never thought about it. How about…Sheen Town? For the Light that keeps us well.” Both the name and the explanation stuck. For the Light that keeps us well.
Years pass and the original six boys are now adults. They contact each other every once in a while but they mainly mind their own role in town. Eventually, they all found the perfect woman and had families. Parents. Wife. Children. The whole town was as happy was possible. But then one day, James disappeared. Worry spread throughout the town like a plague. They searched absolutely everywhere. The third day after his disappearance, the Light descended. Nobody actually witnessed it going down but everybody noticed the change of light. Shadows’ lengths grew beyond natural sizes. Light grew dimmer in some places. Most of the town gathered around the light, wanting answers. Why did it move? Where is James? Is it going to go back? Is something wrong? The questions continued to pour out of their minds. The sound of air being released silences the crowd. An arm reaches out from the top of the Light. A body follows behind it. It’s James.
He pulls off his legendary grin and asks the crowd a question.
“So, you guys miss me?” A shrill voice emerges from the crowd and a woman finds her way to the front.
“MISS YOU? OF COURSE NOT! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” James raises his eyebrows in mild surprise.
“Now Mary-”
“DON’T NOW MARY ME, MISTER! I’M YOUR WIFE AND I DESERVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING INSIDE OF THE LIGHT! WE WERE ALL SO…so…worried. Where were you?” She starts to cry as soon as she steps up to James. He gets out and mumbles something to the Light before offering Mary his shoulder. The Light rises to its original position.
“It’s alright Mary. I’m here now.” He pats her on the back gently and she recovers. Then he addresses the crowd.
“Well then everybody. I suppose you have many questions. Hear me out first. This is a great town. I have great pride in helping to found it. But it isn’t my dream. Three days ago, I thanked the Light for it support and help. I also asked it for guidance. It didn’t answer me at first but then called out to me as I walked away. It welcomed me inside so that we could talk in private and so that it could show me how to achieve my dream. I leave exactly one day from now. I’m going to find diamonds.” There are murmurs from the crowd. How will they get through each day without their founder? James senses their uneasiness and assures them.
“It’s alright everyone. You can manage without me. Just being here is proof enough for that. This town was built by all of you and your dreams. Now let me complete mine.” The crowd understands his desire and opens up a path. He carries Mary home.
Twenty four hours pass and the whole town gathers at the iron door that opens up into the unexplored. James stops before opening the door and waves them all goodbye. Hands of all types, dark and light, small and large, wave back. He presses the button next to the door and leaves. He won’t be alone though. The town won’t be either. I’ll shine on and light both of their ways.
Yours truly, ~ Light.
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
If you like my work, you are welcome to give me a rep and/or an internet. I'd really appreciate it! Also, if you'd like to see my other work, go here: Click!
Also, with my work, I go by this quote:
So just leave a post, any post, really. All, whether harsh criticism, or, well, praise, are appreciated.
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Retired StaffOh snap! It is mispelled. Stupid Word. And staying up until 6 in the morning. As for the sequel...I just MIGHT. But it'll be completely 1st person point of view. I was very dissatisfied with this story. >_>
great story btw and i suck at 3rd person >->'' but you rock!
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Retired StaffHe logged on yesterday. Here's his profile.He posted some posts in Beta- Survival, Survival Servers and forum discussion. Right after posting in Timid Affection and the same server that I mentioned above. He's been here lately. Just not today, yet.
On 3rd Person: Actually, all the stories I wrote for school were 3rd person. I had fun writing them but now, as I think back...They didn't get ANYWHERE. And they had horrible descriptions. I think I'll stick with 1st person. It makes it so that I have to include detail but also have to exclude some. Cause the character isn't all knowing. :biggrin.gif:
Edit: Sequel to Timid Affection is going along well on paper and I expect it to be even better typed out. Oh. And my computer died again. CURSE YOU WINDOWS 7 WHEN YOU FAIL! (Holy crap. We can attach files to our posts! when the hell was this?)
Windows 7? i never liked that ;(
3rd person is strange to me, and you can more easily "hang the reader" if your in 1st person, cuz they dont know all the details
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Retired StaffI didn't even have a base for this story. I was just like...Hm. Mining. Random light. HUZZAH! STORY! Trust me, the written form is just horrible. I swear, I added so much stuff before posting it.
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Retired StaffSure. That'll let me write other stuff. I'll get to continue TMR, finish up TA's sequel, and write more stories that have no relation. Hurray!
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Retired StaffYou could or if you want, you can make a new topic. A fan fic of a fan fic. It's your story now. :biggrin.gif:
Read mine! :3 :3 :3 I make story for chu, you read mine! Nah im just kidding, you can only read it if you want to.
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Retired StaffYeah. I skipped A LOT of time in this story. I couldn't just build a town in one night, eh? :biggrin.gif:
I must say I liked the "Heroe's Sadness" and "Timid Affection" better, but hey this is darn good.
Also, Bumped
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Retired StaffIt's not quite a bump if it's just 5 mins. Thanks anyway.
Yeah, I do like the other stories better.
SO
That dream that I had was real???
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Retired StaffNo, I just captured it and made it into this story. I do that sometimes.
Sorry for this bump to a cheap story but I had to say that.