The issue with publishing something like this is that there are legal issues with ownership. Since it's already on the internet, there is little way for a publisher to be sure I even wrote the text, or make sure that a market still exists with a free copy available online.
If I could, then I probably would, but that would mean finding a lenient publisher.
How long do you plan on making this novel, Feather?
How long is a piece of string?
No ideas on length. I have a storyline and goal in mind, discounting other events. I am aiming for a novel methinks, but we'll see what happens. I guesstimate about 30k words have been written right now, with an average of 2100 words per part and another 932 words on the next part.
Oh, and my mother is in hospital now. Something wrong with her liver. Everything's fine, but it means more delays.
How long do you plan on making this novel, Feather?
How long is a piece of string?
No ideas on length. I have a storyline and goal in mind, discounting other events. I am aiming for a novel methinks, but we'll see what happens. I guesstimate about 30k words have been written right now, with an average of 2100 words per part and another 932 words on the next part.
Oh, and my mother is in hospital now. Something wrong with her liver. Everything's fine, but it means more delays.
Hope she gets better. Glad to hear you're aiming for novel length x)
Listening to the rushing of water, Schist gaped at the impressive cascading falls; froth and foam leisurely flowed over the fragrant waters, steamy mist holding a score of tiny rainbows in the suspended droplets. Slipping from the sky, it became apparent the dragons were going to land in the glittering liquid pools.
Closing in on the terraces, the dragons began to slow themselves, the up-draft from the hot air levitating them with minimal effort. The silica pools were each about half a metre deep, which was enough for the dragons to land in.
A cacophony of bathing reptiles, serpents and chimeras splashed and played in the pools, many of the older creatures basking in the sun in the shallower pools, seeping up nutrients from the mineral water. The occasional Elven philosopher sat on the edge of a terrace, their gracious blonde or silver hair dipping into the water behind them, female or not.
Most were wearing clothes, not caring if they got wet while pondering life, watching animals or training young dragon's in the art of water shifting. Even so, a group of tittering girls scoured each other in a pool hidden under a few scattered willows, while men sweat in the hotter, haze-covered sauna pools nearer the top of the terraces.
Touching down somewhere in the middle of the hot springs, the light blue reptile murmured as it lay down in the water, dipping Schist's feet into the warm mineral water. They stung with pain, before loosing up to the water as it soaked into the calluses in his feet.
Dismounting, he was considerably bothered by the Iridescent water, as it came up over his knees. The gentle buffeting of the waves behind him felt unnatural, and put him off balance. Jharak jumped off his mount as it glided past, Schist trying to block wayward droplets from getting onto his face.
The Mage's dragon roughly landed into the terrace pool, the animal shaking her off in annoyance. Laughing, she was completely soaked in the spring water. Jharak just shook his head, knowing fully well how bizarre Kendra could be. Crawling up the terraces, all three dragons searched for warmer waters higher up.
Schist waded to the edge of the terrace they were in, the pool quickly becoming shallow, before he reached the dry lip around the edge. Sitting on the pale rock, he looked into the terrace below, a slight man lay floating in his rippling water, golden hair spreading like the sun's rays around him.
With a vacant expression, the man looked back, the human's lack of full, luscious hair bringing about his attention.
"Boy, have you ever wondered why the stars go away when the sun comes out, yet are there again the next night? What are stars anyway, and why do they move across a blackened sky? Are they revolving around us?"
A lady from a lower terrace from the man looked up, thinking on the questions he presented.
"We must remember that the stars can revolve around us, or we could be spinning ourselves. Either way, that is not as important as how the Sun make's our sky blue."
A third man stood up from behind another terrace, previously hidden to Schist until then.
"The sky is blue because we live inside a giant rainbow cast by the sun, and within the blue portion our land exists. Every night the sky goes black because our sun is no longer casting it's rainbow. As rainbows are hard to see through, we can no longer see the stars until night arrives once more."
Mumbling and agreement commenced, before hushing down, the first man floating over to a roll of parchment near the lip of his pool, writing what he just heard.
"Now, what are stars? If they were fireflys, then they would be able to move without either the sky or the land rotating. But then they would be able to fly where they liked, not just one direction. And how would they eat..."
Disturbed by the introspective thoughts regarding existence as a whole, Schist turned back around to see the Mage bubbling underwater, making ring shaped bubbles. Jharak drifted into the shallow area, his own hair spraying out in a glorious fan of threads.
"What do you think Schist? Isn't this so, so placid? so detached? You hardly find someone here lifting an arm before thinking about the benefits, disadvantages and overall consequences of it."
"Relax, let your body to the water, and be free. We'll probably be here for a few hours yet. Wash yourself while you're at it, no better place to bathe than the Ya'ru springs."
Wiping his face, Jharak removed the dirt off his skin, the clumps of mud freely falling out of his hair to leave it bright and fair. Schist looked down at his own limbs, comparing the dusty grey of his arms to the shiny tan brown of his wet legs. It was obvious he was in desperate need of a bath.
Lowering himself into the natural water, the liquid found it's way into all sorts of superficial cuts and cracks in his skin. They stung as they came to life again, before getting to work in healing, drawing strength from the imbued water.
Ebbing further down, he did not want to submerge his chest fully. He had little experience in dealing with water around him, the lapping pool seemingly trying to claw itself into his mouth, and constrict him. Instead of fully drenching himself underwater, he picked up handfuls and sprinkled the substance down his neck and face.
It would take some getting used to, but Schist realised this might be his new home. While such an abundance of water was discomforting at best, the warmth of the springs glowed on the heart, almost like a fire from within.
---
Glowing a golden bronze, the aura within Argyle's hands grew brighter, solidifying into a globe of pure energy. As it began to leak out over the dragon's forelegs, the Knight stood in a stance, ready with his sword to block or evade at the slightest hint of attack.
"Tremor."
Falling forwards, the dragon pounded the ground with it's fists, releasing some of the energy into the soil. A shock wave rippled across the hillside, shifting rocks and cracking the ground. Kneeling on the moving soil, the Knight was unable to move without potentially falling down the hill, letting Argyle rush closer with the ball of energy floating between his sprinting paws.
"Magic, I have to use magic!I'm not that great at magic..."
Seeking the coal rune on his sword, he tried to forget the huge beast running towards him, thundering the ground as his limbs hit the soil. He drew the energy quickly from the rune, making it glow a deep purple.
"Repel!"
Swinging his sword upwards, he pictured a crescent of fire flying out the blade's edge, hitting the sprinting dragon's face to blind it.
*poof*
A cloud of smoke wafted out from the sword, drifting towards the dragon at a lumbering pace. Pulling up lines of soil to slow himself, Argyle halted as the smog glided over his face, blown apart promptly by a short puff of air from his nostrils.
"You call that... Magic?"
"This, THIS IS MAGIC!"
Clasping the ball of energy in his hands again, Argyle and the Knight were only ten metres away. Pulling a chunk of energy away from the magic orb, the dragon pounded it onto the ground, energizing the earth.
"Rise and attack!"
Chunks of soil and stone rose from the ground, imbued with aura. Each piece was half a metre across, although about five rose into the air around the dragon. Accelerating forwards, they homed in on the Knight,
Attacking the dirt clods, the first one shattered on contact with his blade, the second deflected onto the ground before exploding into a shower of ash and soil. The third rock contained more stone than the first few, and collided into Steve's blade hand, flinging his weapon to the ground.
The forth and fifth rocks flew towards the sword-less Knight, one being punched to fragments, the other exploding on his left shoulder, showering his vision in dust. Steadying himself after the blow, the Knight did not even see how Argyle lurked so close to him.
"Stalagmite!"
The earth cracked in a circle around the Knight's feet, too fast for him to move. Within seconds, a clay spire exploded from the ground, shunting Steve backwards down the hill. Overwhelmed by the physically powerful magic, he had to take a breath. Never had he seen magic manipulate something so key as the ground below every person's feet.
"Knight, you can do this as well. You just have to find the nature to fuel it."
---
The Wyvern family watched attentively as their guardian was taught, seeing how Argyle left the Knight to shame when it came to magical combat skills. Thyra could see the confusion in Steve's mind: he could feel nature, but not ever want to use it, for fear of hurting it, whatever the reason may be.
She tried to explain this to Zephyr through thoughts and feeling, but he didn't get it. Instead, he ignored her to continue watching the battle. Sighing, she knew their guardian will have to realise this himself.
Watching the beating of Steve as well, Fauve, sat outside the Wyvern Queen's nest. She hardly cared about being seen, as her silvery shimmer merged her into the rock walls, masking her in disguise. The battles had so far been enthusiastic, and seemed to be getting even better; screaming materials for messages.
Getting comfortable, she wiggled herself into the rocky balcony outside the Wyvern's nest. It was hopefully just a matter of time for the Knight to learn leadership, and the good news could be brought back to the Ya'ru.
---
Trucking through the forest land, Sir Balin and his crew took potshots at wild game as they tore through the lush green fields and rows of Yallem trees. As they demolished the world wholeheartedly, they munched on a portion of their rations, their breakfast for the day.
Pushing past another line of trees, a snarling hiss emitted from a startled creature. It resembled a Panther, but had a barbed tail, containing more poison than even the fabled K'll. Although it was much smaller than the Mech, the Knights had reason to fear the Ravenger.
"Don't let it on the Mech!"
"Stop it!"
With that, the chimera lunged, pouncing with it's pitch-black hind legs to grasp the central boiler. Balin found the limited motion of the Mech's sword couldn't maneuver properly, so instead pulled his own sword out. Extending it to swipe at the Ravenger below, the foul beast was just out of reach, and was already inflicting damage.
Unravelling the fangs rolled up on the roof of it's mouth, it proceeded to bite the huge boiler, scraping the iron surface in an attempt to inflict it's enemy with poison. Knowing fully well a busted boiler will get them all stuck in the middle of nowhere, Balin crawled out of his cockpit, getting a better angle at the cat below him.
Scratching it's head, the sword only served to distract the snarling beast, before it climbed up closer to the Knight, slashing back with it's own razor sharp claws. Retreating back into his cockpit, Balin tried to get the Mech's sword arm to whack the cat off. Without warning, the Ravenger leapt onto the cockpit, standing above the now terrified Balin.
The Mortar Men acted quickly. Each of them pulled out their favourite short weapon to stab at the cat's flanks. Roaring from the prodding pain, it turned around to swipe at one of the Mortar Men, damaging his helm while the other was nearly knocked unconscious by the beast's swooping spiked tail.
Cowering directly under the animal in the cockpit, Balin pushed it's hind-legs off the Mech, resulting in the beast screeching off the iron body, trying to stay on with it's claws. Seeing his advantage, Balin geared the Mech's leg, kicking the beast away brutally.
It growled a little, but was severely wounded on the ground. It tried to get up, but Balin hit it with the broadside of the Mech's flame blade to keep it down.
Whimpering weakly on the grassy soil, the Ravenger was unable to defend it's habitat from the invader. Admitting defeat, the beast lay still, but the Knight's would not leave any animal without total extermination.
*ssssssSH-Poogh*
Shaking hands, the Knights cried victory once more, the rattling explosion behind them another satisfying kill to put towards their name. They would have many heroic tales to gloat about upon returning home, and the damaged vehicle and armour to prove it.
Ahead in the distant view lay the outline of the great ranges, where their destination lay...
We don't have any of that right now. We got Peanut butter, Marmite, Vegemite, golden syrup and butter.
Normally I loke to hit all spots. For breakfast I had cornflakes and lemonade, which was sweet. For morning boredom snack I had a piece of toast with peanut butter for fat. Then for lunch I had salty mac and cheese.
Maybe I'll see about getting some chocolate later :biggrin.gif:
In other news, I'm at 1300 words. Intro feels kinda weird in this part, but I'll see if I can fix it.
We don't have any of that right now. We got Peanut butter, Marmite, Vegemite, golden syrup and butter.
Normally I loke to hit all spots. For breakfast I had cornflakes and lemonade, which was sweet. For morning boredom snack I had a piece of toast with peanut butter for fat. Then for lunch I had salty mac and cheese.
Maybe I'll see about getting some chocolate later :biggrin.gif:
In other news, I'm at 1300 words. Intro feels kinda weird in this part, but I'll see if I can fix it.
:smile.gif: I had some TimTams before they were nice.
This story is epic, it's probaly the second best I've red on the MC forums. Yay for being epic! XD
The depot was bustling with activity as the huge, iron coal carts loaded their freight onto a conveyor belt, the grungy bituminous fuel lifting into a hopper to leak into waiting freight cars. Sitting back on his bench, the man in Suede and his Tri-guard protector watched as another cannon mount and boiler was coupled to the train.
It worked out evenly; with every coal cart that hauled goods into the depot, the train gained three open coal cars and a cannon mount. Depending on the destination, the cannon mounts could hold different defences, including Lancer cannons, Autoflare guns or an R-8 Mortar. Each were operated by their own user, with it's own furnace and coal rune to allow each weapon to be used even when disconnected with the main train.
Behind the steam engine itself was a luxury passenger car, followed by it's own dining car, and armoury car. Each were painted black with a red stripe, covering the thick riveted iron which protected it's patrons from frequent animal attacks. Up to ten Knights could share the armoury car with spare weapons and parts, to provide melee resistance to any form of assault.
Wisps of smoke rose from the chimney of the train, it's slanted iron panelling on front attached to the sleek midnight black of the main body. Two permanent 25mm cannons were fixed on either side of the train, capable of fire rates of up to a shot per second. Firing cylindrical bars of iron, these penetrated easily through plate armours, and made great general weapons.
For better anti air support, twin Cluster Cannons located over the cab protected from aerial combatants. The barrels fired small grenades into the air, each containing measured amounts of water within the bomb itself. The huge expansion and pressure during an explosion cause a wave of shrapnel to be released, ripping wings or tendons.
With a whistle, the signal on the train went off, a puff of steam spurting out the chimney. Boarding onto the passenger train, the man in Suede and his guard paid the fare for their transit. Mr. Haser's light chain armour clinked as they sat on the tan leather chairs, positioned for optimal legroom.
One of the maids pulled both suitcases onto the train, loading them into the luggage compartment overhead, before situating herself on a servants chair at the rear of the carriage. They were the only people on the train - the man in Suede had special ordered the luxury car for his use. They would be heading west to Orrises Front, the centre of the Steam King's influence.
Starting off at a snails pace, the train accelerated slowly as it towed a hefty cargo of seventy-two trailers in total: eighteen cannon mounts with armaments, fifty-one coal hoppers and the front cars. Out west lay a great railroad, connecting Karkun to Rahm, which was a short distance from Orrises Front.
The man in Suede had never seen the King before. In fact, he didn't even know what he looked like. It was disturbing to think of contacting such a powerful man in person, but his mind craved the feeling of his thellium blade, the red-veined immortal weapon he held not long ago.
Whether the King would help or not, Eryk felt the pressure to rediscover his lost artifact intensify. Nothing would get in the way of him in his quest for his beloved Scythe, but it would certainly be easier with a funded army.
---
"Get up Knight, pull your energy from the world around you, not that blasted sword rune. Feel the energy of the world flow into you, and channel that to your will!"
Picking himself off the ground, the Knight gathered his sword again, before facing Argyle, who held the glowing orb of collected energy again. It's copper glow reverberated in his hands, dancing between his claws as it drew more ambient energy into itself.
"Once again. Tremor."
Pummelling the soil with his balled claws, the shock waves wreaked chaos across the land again. Steve saw the ripple of earth under the grass, and knew it would ground him if he held himself down. Instead of passively taking the brunt of the wave, the Knight power jumped, sailing a metre into the air. Although he couldn't do anything, he completely avoided the shock wave jarring onto the ground, Argyle now running towards him.
Closing his eye's, the Knight could sense the dragon, his looming presence and carried magic standing out to him from the other pinpoints of energy, notably the Wyverns and a few hidden animals. Being the most powerful, he stole the energy Argyle held, and channelled it towards himself.
Time running out as Argyle sprinted at the Knight, energy leaching from the dragon's clutches into the Knight's own control. Quickly thinking of a word, he brought it into action.
"Split!"
Smacking his iron glove onto the soil, he imagined a crack widening earth. The Dragon halted as he sensed the word, stopping himself as a fissure formed between his legs. Scrambling uphill, Argyle only just dodged as the loose soil downhill lost the rest of it's grip, a landslide of dirt pouring into the forest below.
"Ah, my Knight. You are obviously more focused on stealing stored energy rather than ambient energy. We'll need to change that, but..."
The dragon froze, before looking down into the forest. It's eye's gleamed with hatred as a strong connection with a nearby Ravenger flared up, then severed. The same killer of the Vark earlier in the morning. The Queen as well, flew over to Argyle to exchange what she felt.
Feeling a ping of energy fizzle out, the Knight stalled himself as well. It was as if someone snuffed a candle with their finger, leaving it to smoulder a peck of grey smoke. Zephyr and Thyra had no clue as to what was happening, lacking the ability to sense far range magic at such a young age.
"Knight, our enemy approaches. As guardians, we cannot let them pass. Be vigilant."
Leaping over the landslip, Argyle tore into the forest, heading for the line of falling trees in the distant view. Following behind, the Knight skidded down the dirty earth, the Wyvern siblings landing on his shoulder. Their mother flew overhead, orange torso passively warning any invaders.
*CORRaAAWWWww*
---
The uproar from the Earthen creatures frightened Fauve, all beings on the field rushing off into the forest. She hadn't felt anything, but no doubt something had disturbed them. Keen to investigate, she took up wing into the clouds, mixing herself in with the air vapour.
Sailing much higher than Kara below her, she saw a line of destruction cutting through the forest. At it's end, a mechanical vehicle lay waste to the tree life, obviously heading for Ya'ru.
It was a distressing thought. If the Steam King was sending a scouting band, they might discover how disorganised the defending earth creatures are. Singularly, steam weaponry had far more potency to kill than any beast, which is exactly why they need a leader.
Now she was torn between a choice. If she returned now with news of the Steam King's army, then maybe reinforcements could be gathered from Garrm Cliffs or Ya'ru. On the other hand, Argyle, Kara and Steve are all an inherently powerful group of warriors.
Biting her nails, she decided to go against her promise to Kendra and stay. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt, and the earthen army was more than capable. Besides, she wanted to chronicle the battle in full anyway.
---
Gunning his way towards the ever growing mountain, Sir Balin and his sturdy crew were highly alert. Dragons, Ravengers, Wyverns and even Effendi from the south desert wandered the foothills of the ranges. All weapons armed, the three heard as a Wyvern Queen screamed not far off.
Looking at each other, they kept an intense guard up. The Mortar Men searched the skies as well now, the one on the right shoulder changing his ammunition to a net.
"Sir, what will be our strategy?"
"Get it out of the air, I don't care how."
Marching forwards, Flame Blade active, all ammunition loaded, the Wyvern crested their vision. Hovering low over the forest canopy, her howl echoed over the forest, rousing the attention of many critters. A louder, deeper snarl reverberated through the leaves, shaking the thinner trunks.
"Sir, was that a dragon?"
The other soldier on the left shoulder grunted menacingly, loading a second grenade into the same barrel.
"You just deal with the Wyvern, but leave the bloody Dragon to me!"
Balin listened to his crews muttering. It was good to know such recruits were suitable for the job. Walking out into an exposed meadow, he deemed it suitable for fighting. There would be more room to walk in, and any aerial attackers would have nothing but sky to cover them.
The Mech stood it's ground in the centre of the grassland, the Wyvern tearing towards them. A huge brass bulge developed over the trees behind it: no doubt an earth dragon, it's menacing ivory horns visible above the trees for the Mortar Men.
"Mortar ready, I can fire the net any time."
The Wyvern's screeching burned the trio's ears, the right shoulder Knight barely hearing his command to fire. A slight *poof* emitted from the gun as it's net launched, shrouding the bird-snake in fibre cords. Suddenly losing it's ability to fly, the Queen smacked into the Mech uselessly, sprawling onto the ground.
Braying with victory, Balin tried to force the Mech's foot onto the reptile, but a dragon leaped into the arena. Refocusing on the more dangerous beast, multiple mortars went off as the left Knight and Balin fired their cannons.
*shh-Poog-Poog*
*Shhh-Poogh*
Two grenades flew towards the dragon, and one veering off to the side, unfortunatly towards the Knight as he entered the field. Seeing the flying projectile heading straight for him, Steve panicked, before hitting it back at the Mech with the flat of his sword.
Clunking onto the boiler, the grenade exploded next to the Mech's solid plate, doing little but force it backwards slightly. Argyle avoided the two other explosives as they soared past, pluming their incendiary within the forest behind him.
"Sir Balin, is that a Knight!?"
Balin quickly scanned the field, the brass dragon keeping most of his attention. There was however, a Knight with two young Wyverns on his shoulders, standing sword out on the grassy field below. Mouth agape, he didn't notice the Wyvern Queen pick herself up, leaping back as it shed the net onto the ground.
Steve looked up at the Mech, three men he never knew slaughtering the forest around them. It was the blatant destruction that got to Steve: there was no way he could ever endure the knowledge that his fellow Knights would be slaughtering creatures for fun and profit.
With that, he saw the Queen and Dragon, each rearing to fight, but not together. Their animal fury might be honourable, but was hardly effective against the flaming sword the Mech wielded, the Mortar Men reloading.
"Argyle, attack the legs! Kara, distract the Mortar Men!"
Feeling the commands, Argyle lunged at the Mech's legs, crushing one in his jaws. Balin yelped, attempting to cut the dragon with the Mech's sword. The Mortar men nearly fired, but found a Wyvern soar past, grasping for their helmets. The right Mortar Man had his helm torn off, letting him watch in full view as the other was fully lifted out of his seat, before being dropped by the reptile.
Surging forward, Zephyr and Thyra flew off of Steve as he propelled himself at the second exposed leg of the machine. Argyle unlatched his fangs from the Mech, having sustained burn wounds to the shoulder, but the damage to the machine was irreversible. Balin lowered the Flame Blade in an attempt to repel the Knight from attacking, but it was a fruitless effort.
"NOO! STOP!"
Crying out, Balin threw himself out of the Mech as the Knight in black armour slashed his weapon into the hydraulics of the second leg. Unable to sustain it's own weight, the machine creaked backwards over the ground, groaning as it bent beyond it's limits.
The last Knight in the right shoulder mount leapt out from the crumbling Mech, the furnace splitting open as it smashed into the ground. Volatile ammunition and raw flames mixed, creating a smoke cloud in the sky. Balin and the Mortar Men picked themselves up, and looked at the wreckage wide eyed. They all knew what such a potent mixture of explosives and fire made.
The three Knights charged into the forest opposite the Ya'ru, while the Queen and Argyle turned back into their side of forest for protection. Too slow to run, Steve stooped himself to the ground, Zephyr and Thyra flying into his arms, alarmed by the burning pile of iron. With seconds to spare, the Knight grabbed energy from the young he held, and himself.
I'm glad everyone has been enjoying the fruitful days :biggrin.gif:
For now, I dip into the social anarchy of school. A garbage bag of wasted lunch hours spent nothing but plotting the very existence of this story in the first place. I will need to re-access my productivity, and see how many updates I can pull off.
On the other hand, I'll see If I can force ask some English teachers to give feed back on the story, and go about how they think of it. Perhaps they can give an indication on how I should publish it, or whether to attempt at all.
I'm glad everyone has been enjoying the fruitful days :biggrin.gif:
For now, I dip into the social anarchy of school. A garbage bag of wasted lunch hours spent nothing but plotting the very existence of this story in the first place. I will need to re-access my productivity, and see how many updates I can pull off.
On the other hand, I'll see If I can force ask some English teachers to give feed back on the story, and go about how they think of it. Perhaps they can give an indication on how I should publish it, or whether to attempt at all.
Definitely publish it. It would also be good t keep it goon here though. Still, this one of the (if nit the) most entertaining stories I have ever read. It will sell.
Hey there again just reading PT13 and 14 so far:
Great work as always and this:
Thou poetic genuis passes me by completely;
though it makes me laugh:
PT13
"Ya'ru itself is not the biggest city, but it is the most learned. Botanists and Mages collect here due to the wild fauna and flora, while the Ya'ru Springs give deep though and relaxation to philosophers. We'll head there now. Mabye you meant "Thought" Though as in "even though" doesn't make sence
PT 14
Henryk's life was short lived, dying in the wave of pneumonia with many others due to the dramatic change in the air quality. He successfully birthed one child, Jurek of South Karkun. Iron plating and siege weaponry was introduced shortly after, resulting in a military explosion. Jurek understood machinery well at a young age, and concocted many machines, including the Dragon spear, an anti-air flak cannon which accurately slaughtered the uprising dragons
I would of liked to see that! Mabye better to say "He fathered"Accurately FTW! (its not spelled wrong)
Now the loss of his Scythe penetrated his side like an infected knife, planting the bacteria that ate him from the inside out.
Is this a comparison or is he really infected with bacteria? either way its nice and poetic if unorthadox
The slave was one of the more submissive ones, so would not lie. Now it was likely that a rash band of soldiers would be committing suicide to the eastern swamps, probably with lots of expensive, valuable equipment. Holding his hand to his head, Eryk wiped off the patheticness of the situation.
I loled at this one, did he do it with a hanky?
PT 15
Listening to the rushing of water, Schist gaped at the impressive cascading falls; froth and foam leisurely flowed over the fragrant waters, steamy mist holding a score of tiny rainbows in the suspended droplets. Slipping from the sky, it became apparent the dragons were going to land in the glittering liquid pools.
Closing in on the terraces, the dragons began to slow themselves, the up-draft from the hot air levitating them with minimal effort. The silica pools were each about half a metre deep, which was enough for the dragons to land in.
A cacophony of bathing reptiles, serpents and chimeras splashed and played in the pools, many of the older creatures basking in the sun in the shallower pools, seeping up nutrients from the mineral water. The occasional Elven philosopher sat on the edge of a terrace, their gracious blonde or silver hair dipping into the water behind them, female or not.
Most were wearing clothes, not caring if they got wet while pondering life, watching animals or training young dragon's in the art of water shifting. Even so, a group of tittering girls scoured each other in a pool hidden under a few scattered willows, while men sweat in the hotter, haze-covered sauna pools nearer the top of the terraces.
Touching down somewhere in the middle of the hot springs, the light blue reptile murmured as it lay down in the water, dipping Schist's feet into the warm mineral water. They stung with pain, before loosing up to the water as it soaked into his calluses in his feet.
Dismounting, he was considerably bothered by the Iridescent water, as it came up over his knees. The gentle buffeting of the waves behind him felt unnatural, and put him off balance. Jharak jumped off his mount as it glided past, Schist trying to block wayward droplets from getting onto(into) his face.
The Mage's dragon roughly landed into the terrace pool, the animal shaking her off in annoyance. Laughing, she was completely soaked in the spring water. Jharak just shook his head, knowing fully well how bizarre Kendra could be. Crawling up the terraces, all three dragons searched for warmer waters higher up
Loads of beautiful language here; as I understand English is your second language and this is AMAZING
Cowering directly under the animal in the cockpit, Balin pushed it's hind-legs off the Mech, resulting in the beast screeching off the iron body, trying to stay on with it's claws. Seeing his advantage, Balin geared the Mech's leg, kicking the beast away brutally.
It growled a little, but was severally(Severely) wounded(, and) on the ground. It tried to get up, but Balin hit it with the broadside of the Mech's flame blade to keep it down
ok thats all I got time for tonight
ill read more later But mabye som of the more funny word useages should be kept as I could still easily understand
and they ARE quite funny... well you decide :wink.gif:
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Quote from Aqualize »
it will obviously be CHOCOLATE ORE
used to make cocoa beans and CHOCOLATE CAKE and CHOCOLATE INGOTS
CHOCOLATE INGOTS will be used to make CHOCOLATE TOOLS which are obviously much stronger than diamond and also may be eaten if you are hungry.
Hey there again just reading PT13 and 14 so far:
Great work as always and this:
Thou poetic genuis passes me by completely;
though it makes me laugh:
PT13 though Thought.
PT 14 He successfully birthed one child He successfully fathered one child. I can see how that can be interpreted now...
planting the bacteria that ate him from the inside out.
It's a metaphor to make you feel disturbed, and it conveys his emotional state, which will become more prevalent as he deteriorates.
Holding his hand to his head, Eryk wiped off the patheticness of the situation. Formal facepalm :biggrin.gif:
PT 15 onto (into) This is debatable whether you think 'face' is the mouth, eyes and ears, or the skin.
Loads of beautiful language here; as I understand English is your second language and this is AMAZING What gave you that impression? I'm a New Zealander, and English is my first language. I hope it's still amazing though..
severally Severely. Hate that word, never spelt it right before. (, and) on the ground. Ahhh... I like the way I have that worded right now. If I use a comma there, it will break up the sentence.
And thank you, I love seeing others looked deeply through the text. There's always SOME error, and many people don't bring it up if they do see it.
I used to have toes
If I could, then I probably would, but that would mean finding a lenient publisher.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
I used to have toes
How long is a piece of string?
No ideas on length. I have a storyline and goal in mind, discounting other events. I am aiming for a novel methinks, but we'll see what happens. I guesstimate about 30k words have been written right now, with an average of 2100 words per part and another 932 words on the next part.
Oh, and my mother is in hospital now. Something wrong with her liver. Everything's fine, but it means more delays.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
Hope she gets better. Glad to hear you're aiming for novel length x)
I used to have toes
Closing in on the terraces, the dragons began to slow themselves, the up-draft from the hot air levitating them with minimal effort. The silica pools were each about half a metre deep, which was enough for the dragons to land in.
A cacophony of bathing reptiles, serpents and chimeras splashed and played in the pools, many of the older creatures basking in the sun in the shallower pools, seeping up nutrients from the mineral water. The occasional Elven philosopher sat on the edge of a terrace, their gracious blonde or silver hair dipping into the water behind them, female or not.
Most were wearing clothes, not caring if they got wet while pondering life, watching animals or training young dragon's in the art of water shifting. Even so, a group of tittering girls scoured each other in a pool hidden under a few scattered willows, while men sweat in the hotter, haze-covered sauna pools nearer the top of the terraces.
Touching down somewhere in the middle of the hot springs, the light blue reptile murmured as it lay down in the water, dipping Schist's feet into the warm mineral water. They stung with pain, before loosing up to the water as it soaked into the calluses in his feet.
Dismounting, he was considerably bothered by the Iridescent water, as it came up over his knees. The gentle buffeting of the waves behind him felt unnatural, and put him off balance. Jharak jumped off his mount as it glided past, Schist trying to block wayward droplets from getting onto his face.
The Mage's dragon roughly landed into the terrace pool, the animal shaking her off in annoyance. Laughing, she was completely soaked in the spring water. Jharak just shook his head, knowing fully well how bizarre Kendra could be. Crawling up the terraces, all three dragons searched for warmer waters higher up.
Schist waded to the edge of the terrace they were in, the pool quickly becoming shallow, before he reached the dry lip around the edge. Sitting on the pale rock, he looked into the terrace below, a slight man lay floating in his rippling water, golden hair spreading like the sun's rays around him.
With a vacant expression, the man looked back, the human's lack of full, luscious hair bringing about his attention.
"Boy, have you ever wondered why the stars go away when the sun comes out, yet are there again the next night? What are stars anyway, and why do they move across a blackened sky? Are they revolving around us?"
A lady from a lower terrace from the man looked up, thinking on the questions he presented.
"We must remember that the stars can revolve around us, or we could be spinning ourselves. Either way, that is not as important as how the Sun make's our sky blue."
A third man stood up from behind another terrace, previously hidden to Schist until then.
"The sky is blue because we live inside a giant rainbow cast by the sun, and within the blue portion our land exists. Every night the sky goes black because our sun is no longer casting it's rainbow. As rainbows are hard to see through, we can no longer see the stars until night arrives once more."
Mumbling and agreement commenced, before hushing down, the first man floating over to a roll of parchment near the lip of his pool, writing what he just heard.
"Now, what are stars? If they were fireflys, then they would be able to move without either the sky or the land rotating. But then they would be able to fly where they liked, not just one direction. And how would they eat..."
Disturbed by the introspective thoughts regarding existence as a whole, Schist turned back around to see the Mage bubbling underwater, making ring shaped bubbles. Jharak drifted into the shallow area, his own hair spraying out in a glorious fan of threads.
"What do you think Schist? Isn't this so, so placid? so detached? You hardly find someone here lifting an arm before thinking about the benefits, disadvantages and overall consequences of it."
"Relax, let your body to the water, and be free. We'll probably be here for a few hours yet. Wash yourself while you're at it, no better place to bathe than the Ya'ru springs."
Wiping his face, Jharak removed the dirt off his skin, the clumps of mud freely falling out of his hair to leave it bright and fair. Schist looked down at his own limbs, comparing the dusty grey of his arms to the shiny tan brown of his wet legs. It was obvious he was in desperate need of a bath.
Lowering himself into the natural water, the liquid found it's way into all sorts of superficial cuts and cracks in his skin. They stung as they came to life again, before getting to work in healing, drawing strength from the imbued water.
Ebbing further down, he did not want to submerge his chest fully. He had little experience in dealing with water around him, the lapping pool seemingly trying to claw itself into his mouth, and constrict him. Instead of fully drenching himself underwater, he picked up handfuls and sprinkled the substance down his neck and face.
It would take some getting used to, but Schist realised this might be his new home. While such an abundance of water was discomforting at best, the warmth of the springs glowed on the heart, almost like a fire from within.
---
Glowing a golden bronze, the aura within Argyle's hands grew brighter, solidifying into a globe of pure energy. As it began to leak out over the dragon's forelegs, the Knight stood in a stance, ready with his sword to block or evade at the slightest hint of attack.
"Tremor."
Falling forwards, the dragon pounded the ground with it's fists, releasing some of the energy into the soil. A shock wave rippled across the hillside, shifting rocks and cracking the ground. Kneeling on the moving soil, the Knight was unable to move without potentially falling down the hill, letting Argyle rush closer with the ball of energy floating between his sprinting paws.
"Magic, I have to use magic! I'm not that great at magic..."
Seeking the coal rune on his sword, he tried to forget the huge beast running towards him, thundering the ground as his limbs hit the soil. He drew the energy quickly from the rune, making it glow a deep purple.
"Repel!"
Swinging his sword upwards, he pictured a crescent of fire flying out the blade's edge, hitting the sprinting dragon's face to blind it.
*poof*
A cloud of smoke wafted out from the sword, drifting towards the dragon at a lumbering pace. Pulling up lines of soil to slow himself, Argyle halted as the smog glided over his face, blown apart promptly by a short puff of air from his nostrils.
Clasping the ball of energy in his hands again, Argyle and the Knight were only ten metres away. Pulling a chunk of energy away from the magic orb, the dragon pounded it onto the ground, energizing the earth.
"Rise and attack!"
Chunks of soil and stone rose from the ground, imbued with aura. Each piece was half a metre across, although about five rose into the air around the dragon. Accelerating forwards, they homed in on the Knight,
Attacking the dirt clods, the first one shattered on contact with his blade, the second deflected onto the ground before exploding into a shower of ash and soil. The third rock contained more stone than the first few, and collided into Steve's blade hand, flinging his weapon to the ground.
The forth and fifth rocks flew towards the sword-less Knight, one being punched to fragments, the other exploding on his left shoulder, showering his vision in dust. Steadying himself after the blow, the Knight did not even see how Argyle lurked so close to him.
"Stalagmite!"
The earth cracked in a circle around the Knight's feet, too fast for him to move. Within seconds, a clay spire exploded from the ground, shunting Steve backwards down the hill. Overwhelmed by the physically powerful magic, he had to take a breath. Never had he seen magic manipulate something so key as the ground below every person's feet.
"Knight, you can do this as well. You just have to find the nature to fuel it."
---
The Wyvern family watched attentively as their guardian was taught, seeing how Argyle left the Knight to shame when it came to magical combat skills. Thyra could see the confusion in Steve's mind: he could feel nature, but not ever want to use it, for fear of hurting it, whatever the reason may be.
She tried to explain this to Zephyr through thoughts and feeling, but he didn't get it. Instead, he ignored her to continue watching the battle. Sighing, she knew their guardian will have to realise this himself.
Watching the beating of Steve as well, Fauve, sat outside the Wyvern Queen's nest. She hardly cared about being seen, as her silvery shimmer merged her into the rock walls, masking her in disguise. The battles had so far been enthusiastic, and seemed to be getting even better; screaming materials for messages.
Getting comfortable, she wiggled herself into the rocky balcony outside the Wyvern's nest. It was hopefully just a matter of time for the Knight to learn leadership, and the good news could be brought back to the Ya'ru.
---
Trucking through the forest land, Sir Balin and his crew took potshots at wild game as they tore through the lush green fields and rows of Yallem trees. As they demolished the world wholeheartedly, they munched on a portion of their rations, their breakfast for the day.
Pushing past another line of trees, a snarling hiss emitted from a startled creature. It resembled a Panther, but had a barbed tail, containing more poison than even the fabled K'll. Although it was much smaller than the Mech, the Knights had reason to fear the Ravenger.
"Don't let it on the Mech!"
"Stop it!"
With that, the chimera lunged, pouncing with it's pitch-black hind legs to grasp the central boiler. Balin found the limited motion of the Mech's sword couldn't maneuver properly, so instead pulled his own sword out. Extending it to swipe at the Ravenger below, the foul beast was just out of reach, and was already inflicting damage.
Unravelling the fangs rolled up on the roof of it's mouth, it proceeded to bite the huge boiler, scraping the iron surface in an attempt to inflict it's enemy with poison. Knowing fully well a busted boiler will get them all stuck in the middle of nowhere, Balin crawled out of his cockpit, getting a better angle at the cat below him.
Scratching it's head, the sword only served to distract the snarling beast, before it climbed up closer to the Knight, slashing back with it's own razor sharp claws. Retreating back into his cockpit, Balin tried to get the Mech's sword arm to whack the cat off. Without warning, the Ravenger leapt onto the cockpit, standing above the now terrified Balin.
The Mortar Men acted quickly. Each of them pulled out their favourite short weapon to stab at the cat's flanks. Roaring from the prodding pain, it turned around to swipe at one of the Mortar Men, damaging his helm while the other was nearly knocked unconscious by the beast's swooping spiked tail.
Cowering directly under the animal in the cockpit, Balin pushed it's hind-legs off the Mech, resulting in the beast screeching off the iron body, trying to stay on with it's claws. Seeing his advantage, Balin geared the Mech's leg, kicking the beast away brutally.
It growled a little, but was severely wounded on the ground. It tried to get up, but Balin hit it with the broadside of the Mech's flame blade to keep it down.
Whimpering weakly on the grassy soil, the Ravenger was unable to defend it's habitat from the invader. Admitting defeat, the beast lay still, but the Knight's would not leave any animal without total extermination.
*ssssssSH-Poogh*
Shaking hands, the Knights cried victory once more, the rattling explosion behind them another satisfying kill to put towards their name. They would have many heroic tales to gloat about upon returning home, and the damaged vehicle and armour to prove it.
Ahead in the distant view lay the outline of the great ranges, where their destination lay...
---
Part 16!
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
I used to have toes
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Retired StaffFirst lemonade though.
Then toast.
With peanut butter.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
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Retired StaffCompletely random, but what about nutella?
Normally I loke to hit all spots. For breakfast I had cornflakes and lemonade, which was sweet. For morning boredom snack I had a piece of toast with peanut butter for fat. Then for lunch I had salty mac and cheese.
Maybe I'll see about getting some chocolate later :biggrin.gif:
In other news, I'm at 1300 words. Intro feels kinda weird in this part, but I'll see if I can fix it.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
:smile.gif: I had some TimTams before they were nice.
This story is epic, it's probaly the second best I've red on the MC forums. Yay for being epic! XD
I would release it, but I believe some revising needs to be done first.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
It worked out evenly; with every coal cart that hauled goods into the depot, the train gained three open coal cars and a cannon mount. Depending on the destination, the cannon mounts could hold different defences, including Lancer cannons, Autoflare guns or an R-8 Mortar. Each were operated by their own user, with it's own furnace and coal rune to allow each weapon to be used even when disconnected with the main train.
Behind the steam engine itself was a luxury passenger car, followed by it's own dining car, and armoury car. Each were painted black with a red stripe, covering the thick riveted iron which protected it's patrons from frequent animal attacks. Up to ten Knights could share the armoury car with spare weapons and parts, to provide melee resistance to any form of assault.
Wisps of smoke rose from the chimney of the train, it's slanted iron panelling on front attached to the sleek midnight black of the main body. Two permanent 25mm cannons were fixed on either side of the train, capable of fire rates of up to a shot per second. Firing cylindrical bars of iron, these penetrated easily through plate armours, and made great general weapons.
For better anti air support, twin Cluster Cannons located over the cab protected from aerial combatants. The barrels fired small grenades into the air, each containing measured amounts of water within the bomb itself. The huge expansion and pressure during an explosion cause a wave of shrapnel to be released, ripping wings or tendons.
With a whistle, the signal on the train went off, a puff of steam spurting out the chimney. Boarding onto the passenger train, the man in Suede and his guard paid the fare for their transit. Mr. Haser's light chain armour clinked as they sat on the tan leather chairs, positioned for optimal legroom.
One of the maids pulled both suitcases onto the train, loading them into the luggage compartment overhead, before situating herself on a servants chair at the rear of the carriage. They were the only people on the train - the man in Suede had special ordered the luxury car for his use. They would be heading west to Orrises Front, the centre of the Steam King's influence.
Starting off at a snails pace, the train accelerated slowly as it towed a hefty cargo of seventy-two trailers in total: eighteen cannon mounts with armaments, fifty-one coal hoppers and the front cars. Out west lay a great railroad, connecting Karkun to Rahm, which was a short distance from Orrises Front.
The man in Suede had never seen the King before. In fact, he didn't even know what he looked like. It was disturbing to think of contacting such a powerful man in person, but his mind craved the feeling of his thellium blade, the red-veined immortal weapon he held not long ago.
Whether the King would help or not, Eryk felt the pressure to rediscover his lost artifact intensify. Nothing would get in the way of him in his quest for his beloved Scythe, but it would certainly be easier with a funded army.
---
Picking himself off the ground, the Knight gathered his sword again, before facing Argyle, who held the glowing orb of collected energy again. It's copper glow reverberated in his hands, dancing between his claws as it drew more ambient energy into itself.
"Once again. Tremor."
Pummelling the soil with his balled claws, the shock waves wreaked chaos across the land again. Steve saw the ripple of earth under the grass, and knew it would ground him if he held himself down. Instead of passively taking the brunt of the wave, the Knight power jumped, sailing a metre into the air. Although he couldn't do anything, he completely avoided the shock wave jarring onto the ground, Argyle now running towards him.
Closing his eye's, the Knight could sense the dragon, his looming presence and carried magic standing out to him from the other pinpoints of energy, notably the Wyverns and a few hidden animals. Being the most powerful, he stole the energy Argyle held, and channelled it towards himself.
Time running out as Argyle sprinted at the Knight, energy leaching from the dragon's clutches into the Knight's own control. Quickly thinking of a word, he brought it into action.
"Split!"
Smacking his iron glove onto the soil, he imagined a crack widening earth. The Dragon halted as he sensed the word, stopping himself as a fissure formed between his legs. Scrambling uphill, Argyle only just dodged as the loose soil downhill lost the rest of it's grip, a landslide of dirt pouring into the forest below.
"Ah, my Knight. You are obviously more focused on stealing stored energy rather than ambient energy. We'll need to change that, but..."
The dragon froze, before looking down into the forest. It's eye's gleamed with hatred as a strong connection with a nearby Ravenger flared up, then severed. The same killer of the Vark earlier in the morning. The Queen as well, flew over to Argyle to exchange what she felt.
Feeling a ping of energy fizzle out, the Knight stalled himself as well. It was as if someone snuffed a candle with their finger, leaving it to smoulder a peck of grey smoke. Zephyr and Thyra had no clue as to what was happening, lacking the ability to sense far range magic at such a young age.
"Knight, our enemy approaches. As guardians, we cannot let them pass. Be vigilant."
Leaping over the landslip, Argyle tore into the forest, heading for the line of falling trees in the distant view. Following behind, the Knight skidded down the dirty earth, the Wyvern siblings landing on his shoulder. Their mother flew overhead, orange torso passively warning any invaders.
---
The uproar from the Earthen creatures frightened Fauve, all beings on the field rushing off into the forest. She hadn't felt anything, but no doubt something had disturbed them. Keen to investigate, she took up wing into the clouds, mixing herself in with the air vapour.
Sailing much higher than Kara below her, she saw a line of destruction cutting through the forest. At it's end, a mechanical vehicle lay waste to the tree life, obviously heading for Ya'ru.
It was a distressing thought. If the Steam King was sending a scouting band, they might discover how disorganised the defending earth creatures are. Singularly, steam weaponry had far more potency to kill than any beast, which is exactly why they need a leader.
Now she was torn between a choice. If she returned now with news of the Steam King's army, then maybe reinforcements could be gathered from Garrm Cliffs or Ya'ru. On the other hand, Argyle, Kara and Steve are all an inherently powerful group of warriors.
Biting her nails, she decided to go against her promise to Kendra and stay. A few more minutes wouldn't hurt, and the earthen army was more than capable. Besides, she wanted to chronicle the battle in full anyway.
---
Gunning his way towards the ever growing mountain, Sir Balin and his sturdy crew were highly alert. Dragons, Ravengers, Wyverns and even Effendi from the south desert wandered the foothills of the ranges. All weapons armed, the three heard as a Wyvern Queen screamed not far off.
Looking at each other, they kept an intense guard up. The Mortar Men searched the skies as well now, the one on the right shoulder changing his ammunition to a net.
"Sir, what will be our strategy?"
"Get it out of the air, I don't care how."
Marching forwards, Flame Blade active, all ammunition loaded, the Wyvern crested their vision. Hovering low over the forest canopy, her howl echoed over the forest, rousing the attention of many critters. A louder, deeper snarl reverberated through the leaves, shaking the thinner trunks.
"Sir, was that a dragon?"
The other soldier on the left shoulder grunted menacingly, loading a second grenade into the same barrel.
"You just deal with the Wyvern, but leave the bloody Dragon to me!"
Balin listened to his crews muttering. It was good to know such recruits were suitable for the job. Walking out into an exposed meadow, he deemed it suitable for fighting. There would be more room to walk in, and any aerial attackers would have nothing but sky to cover them.
The Mech stood it's ground in the centre of the grassland, the Wyvern tearing towards them. A huge brass bulge developed over the trees behind it: no doubt an earth dragon, it's menacing ivory horns visible above the trees for the Mortar Men.
"Mortar ready, I can fire the net any time."
The Wyvern's screeching burned the trio's ears, the right shoulder Knight barely hearing his command to fire. A slight *poof* emitted from the gun as it's net launched, shrouding the bird-snake in fibre cords. Suddenly losing it's ability to fly, the Queen smacked into the Mech uselessly, sprawling onto the ground.
Braying with victory, Balin tried to force the Mech's foot onto the reptile, but a dragon leaped into the arena. Refocusing on the more dangerous beast, multiple mortars went off as the left Knight and Balin fired their cannons.
*shh-Poog-Poog*
*Shhh-Poogh*
Two grenades flew towards the dragon, and one veering off to the side, unfortunatly towards the Knight as he entered the field. Seeing the flying projectile heading straight for him, Steve panicked, before hitting it back at the Mech with the flat of his sword.
Clunking onto the boiler, the grenade exploded next to the Mech's solid plate, doing little but force it backwards slightly. Argyle avoided the two other explosives as they soared past, pluming their incendiary within the forest behind him.
"Sir Balin, is that a Knight!?"
Balin quickly scanned the field, the brass dragon keeping most of his attention. There was however, a Knight with two young Wyverns on his shoulders, standing sword out on the grassy field below. Mouth agape, he didn't notice the Wyvern Queen pick herself up, leaping back as it shed the net onto the ground.
Steve looked up at the Mech, three men he never knew slaughtering the forest around them. It was the blatant destruction that got to Steve: there was no way he could ever endure the knowledge that his fellow Knights would be slaughtering creatures for fun and profit.
With that, he saw the Queen and Dragon, each rearing to fight, but not together. Their animal fury might be honourable, but was hardly effective against the flaming sword the Mech wielded, the Mortar Men reloading.
"Argyle, attack the legs! Kara, distract the Mortar Men!"
Feeling the commands, Argyle lunged at the Mech's legs, crushing one in his jaws. Balin yelped, attempting to cut the dragon with the Mech's sword. The Mortar men nearly fired, but found a Wyvern soar past, grasping for their helmets. The right Mortar Man had his helm torn off, letting him watch in full view as the other was fully lifted out of his seat, before being dropped by the reptile.
Surging forward, Zephyr and Thyra flew off of Steve as he propelled himself at the second exposed leg of the machine. Argyle unlatched his fangs from the Mech, having sustained burn wounds to the shoulder, but the damage to the machine was irreversible. Balin lowered the Flame Blade in an attempt to repel the Knight from attacking, but it was a fruitless effort.
"NOO! STOP!"
Crying out, Balin threw himself out of the Mech as the Knight in black armour slashed his weapon into the hydraulics of the second leg. Unable to sustain it's own weight, the machine creaked backwards over the ground, groaning as it bent beyond it's limits.
The last Knight in the right shoulder mount leapt out from the crumbling Mech, the furnace splitting open as it smashed into the ground. Volatile ammunition and raw flames mixed, creating a smoke cloud in the sky. Balin and the Mortar Men picked themselves up, and looked at the wreckage wide eyed. They all knew what such a potent mixture of explosives and fire made.
"Mortar Knights, Retreat!"
"Yes Sir!"
"Bloody Dragon!"
"Everyone, get back!"
The three Knights charged into the forest opposite the Ya'ru, while the Queen and Argyle turned back into their side of forest for protection. Too slow to run, Steve stooped himself to the ground, Zephyr and Thyra flying into his arms, alarmed by the burning pile of iron. With seconds to spare, the Knight grabbed energy from the young he held, and himself.
"Shield!"
---
Part 17!
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
ASS!
;D
10 out of 10 story for SURE
*bookmarked*
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Retired StaffFor now, I dip into the social anarchy of school. A garbage bag of wasted lunch hours spent nothing but plotting the very existence of this story in the first place. I will need to re-access my productivity, and see how many updates I can pull off.
On the other hand, I'll see If I can
forceask some English teachers to give feed back on the story, and go about how they think of it. Perhaps they can give an indication on how I should publish it, or whether to attempt at all.A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
Definitely publish it. It would also be good t keep it goon here though. Still, this one of the (if nit the) most entertaining stories I have ever read. It will sell.
Great work as always and this:
Thou poetic genuis passes me by completely;
though it makes me laugh:
PT13
"Ya'ru itself is not the biggest city, but it is the most learned. Botanists and Mages collect here due to the wild fauna and flora, while the Ya'ru Springs give deep though and relaxation to philosophers. We'll head there now.
Mabye you meant "Thought" Though as in "even though" doesn't make sence
PT 14
Henryk's life was short lived, dying in the wave of pneumonia with many others due to the dramatic change in the air quality. He successfully birthed one child, Jurek of South Karkun. Iron plating and siege weaponry was introduced shortly after, resulting in a military explosion. Jurek understood machinery well at a young age, and concocted many machines, including the Dragon spear, an anti-air flak cannon which accurately slaughtered the uprising dragons
I would of liked to see that! Mabye better to say "He fathered" Accurately FTW! (its not spelled wrong)
Now the loss of his Scythe penetrated his side like an infected knife, planting the bacteria that ate him from the inside out.
Is this a comparison or is he really infected with bacteria? either way its nice and poetic if unorthadox
The slave was one of the more submissive ones, so would not lie. Now it was likely that a rash band of soldiers would be committing suicide to the eastern swamps, probably with lots of expensive, valuable equipment. Holding his hand to his head, Eryk wiped off the patheticness of the situation.
I loled at this one, did he do it with a hanky?
PT 15
Listening to the rushing of water, Schist gaped at the impressive cascading falls; froth and foam leisurely flowed over the fragrant waters, steamy mist holding a score of tiny rainbows in the suspended droplets. Slipping from the sky, it became apparent the dragons were going to land in the glittering liquid pools.
Closing in on the terraces, the dragons began to slow themselves, the up-draft from the hot air levitating them with minimal effort. The silica pools were each about half a metre deep, which was enough for the dragons to land in.
A cacophony of bathing reptiles, serpents and chimeras splashed and played in the pools, many of the older creatures basking in the sun in the shallower pools, seeping up nutrients from the mineral water. The occasional Elven philosopher sat on the edge of a terrace, their gracious blonde or silver hair dipping into the water behind them, female or not.
Most were wearing clothes, not caring if they got wet while pondering life, watching animals or training young dragon's in the art of water shifting. Even so, a group of tittering girls scoured each other in a pool hidden under a few scattered willows, while men sweat in the hotter, haze-covered sauna pools nearer the top of the terraces.
Touching down somewhere in the middle of the hot springs, the light blue reptile murmured as it lay down in the water, dipping Schist's feet into the warm mineral water. They stung with pain, before loosing up to the water as it soaked into his calluses in his feet.
Dismounting, he was considerably bothered by the Iridescent water, as it came up over his knees. The gentle buffeting of the waves behind him felt unnatural, and put him off balance. Jharak jumped off his mount as it glided past, Schist trying to block wayward droplets from getting onto(into) his face.
The Mage's dragon roughly landed into the terrace pool, the animal shaking her off in annoyance. Laughing, she was completely soaked in the spring water. Jharak just shook his head, knowing fully well how bizarre Kendra could be. Crawling up the terraces, all three dragons searched for warmer waters higher up
Loads of beautiful language here; as I understand English is your second language and this is AMAZING
Cowering directly under the animal in the cockpit, Balin pushed it's hind-legs off the Mech, resulting in the beast screeching off the iron body, trying to stay on with it's claws. Seeing his advantage, Balin geared the Mech's leg, kicking the beast away brutally.
It growled a little, but was severally(Severely) wounded(, and) on the ground. It tried to get up, but Balin hit it with the broadside of the Mech's flame blade to keep it down
ok thats all I got time for tonight
ill read more later But mabye som of the more funny word useages should be kept as I could still easily understand
and they ARE quite funny... well you decide :wink.gif:
Great work as always and this:
Thou poetic genuis passes me by completely;
though it makes me laugh:
PT13
thoughThought.PT 14
He successfully birthed one childHe successfully fathered one child. I can see how that can be interpreted now...planting the bacteria that ate him from the inside out.
Holding his hand to his head, Eryk wiped off the patheticness of the situation. Formal facepalm :biggrin.gif:
PT 15
onto (into) This is debatable whether you think 'face' is the mouth, eyes and ears, or the skin.
Loads of beautiful language here; as I understand English is your second language and this is AMAZING
severallySeverely. Hate that word, never spelt it right before.(, and) on the ground. Ahhh... I like the way I have that worded right now. If I use a comma there, it will break up the sentence.
And thank you, I love seeing others looked deeply through the text. There's always SOME error, and many people don't bring it up if they do see it.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
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Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.