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This is my first story here on minecraft forums, I hope you all like it:


The city of Resalmin was a beautiful place. It resided under overhangs from mountains and in the center of these overhangs was a hole. The hole brought light into the ‘cave’. Inside this grove were tree’s that grew around the city. When you looked through the hole at the top, it was nearly impossible to see the city unless you knew it was there. The city was peaceful, everyone worked together to get things done. There were large parks with gorgeous fountains in them as well as a large castle made from amazing architecture.

You might be asking, “How did this city come to be?”. It all happened like this:

The old king, king Ralemur, lead an expedition in hopes of finding a new place to build his city, his kingdom. They found this land that they called Halefrost. They named it as such because it had tall mountains and lots of snow everywhere. However, as they were exploring one of these tall mountains, one of their men fell into a hole. The man turned out alright but when they uncovered the hole from all of its vines, they saw a gorgeous place inside of this, what could only be described as a cave. There were large trees and what appeared to be plenty of natural resources.

Slowly but surely they made their way down into the cave and began building their city. First thing was first though, they needed to get rid of most of the trees. It took them a few days but they finally got it done and built the first building inside of this city. It acted more like a hotel since it was meant to house several people. Number one person being their king. The next day, the miners got to work digging up the dirt and stone to get resources so they could make their work a whole lot easier. Upon digging several blocks deep, a miner discovers cobblestone… and mossy cobblestone. He dug through to see what was inside and saw a room with vines growing in it. It looked like a very large room with a rug, and a… throne?

Soon, they began digging around the cobblestone in hopes of finding out what this was. It took them a good couple of weeks but they unveil a large castle. There was something odd about it though, it didn’t look normal. Miners and a few soldiers go inside to investigate. What do they find inside? Not much really. Just remnants of an old civilization that was apparently here before them. However they did find lots of diamonds and gold inside some vaults. After it was deemed safe and ‘empty’, the king entered himself to have a look. This was, of course, after all the vines, cobwebs, and dirt was cleared out of the way. The king likes what he see’s and deems that the land will be lowered and this castle be made his home.

So off to work the diggers go, ripping apart soil and dirt and tearing up stone. This task the king had asked of them would of taken years if it weren’t for the massive amounts of tnt they brought with them. The miners knew how to use it well and how to destroy blocks of stone and dirt without ruining the land and making them have to work more. After their task was finished, the land was lowered to ground level with the castle. Most people didn’t like the castle, talk about it being haunted scared most of them but the king didn’t worry.

After a couple of weeks, dirt begins to form above the stone and tree’s begin to grow again, quite rapidly really. This, is when they begin their work on building their city. Most people didn’t know why but the king never did make a speech or an appearance for these past couple of days. It was most unusual for their king. They didn’t worry, the king had all his royal guards in the castle protecting him so it was more than likely not that he was ok. Just as the last block was placed, dreadful news spread about the small village that had mustered itself up.

“Horrible horrible news my fellow citizens!” Said one of the advisors towards the king. “Our king has suffered a grave illness and has just recently passed away!” Everyone gasped in shock and one person wondered, who was this guy? Most had never seen him before but he did look official. “However! Worry not, for our king has picked a new person to lead us on!” The man steps away and up walks another. This man appeared young, in his twenties at least. But he looked strong. Everyone in the village began to talk amongst them selves, none of them liking the idea one bit.

“Worry not my people, I will lead us all well just as our old king has. I will try my hardest to be an even better king than he was even though I know that will be a hard task.” This new ‘king’ says.
“And what makes you think we will trust you!?” Yell’s one of the men from the audience.

“The fact that we have no king, and that his guards and soldiers are still loyal to his words. If I shall become a bad king, then let them strike me down and you all choose another!” Say’s the king. Some of the people still didn’t like the idea but most clapped for him. The guards and soldiers didn’t like this new king either but they would do what had to be done to protect him if he was good. “Now then, I shall retire to my quarters and let you all get back to work. I bid you all ado.” And with that, the king leaves the town square, heading for that castle that their old king had died in.

The day after, they hold their burial for their old king, a proper royal one for him. So the news was true. Many people cried but most held back their tears. Several wished that he was still here, they didn’t want to believe that he was dead. Everyone however, began to trust the new king, their old one wouldn’t have picked him unless he knew that he was worthy of holding that crown on his head. So after the day was done, they indeed do go back to their every day lives, most continue to visit their king and mourn over their lost.

Great story.

Excellent use of paragraphs; makes it a lot easier for the reader.

Grammar-wise, there are some places where you mixed up the tenses.

However they did find lots of diamonds and gold inside some vaults. After it was deemed safe and ‘empty’, the king entered himself to have a look. This was, of course, after all the vines, cobwebs, and dirt was cleared out of the way. The king likes what he see’s and deems that the land will be lowered and this castle be made his home.

The first few sentences are in the past tense. However, in the last sentence, you've switched to the present tense.

Also, there are some misplaced apostrophes. For example, the plural of 'tree' is 'trees', not 'tree's'.

Overall, it's a very good story. The setting is interesting, and the writing is clear and concise. I look forward to reading more of your stories. :smile.gif:

Thanks for the tips, I'll try to fix the problems in the story. I never was one for apostraphies. >.< The reason most of my grammar is good is because I used to rp in gaming forums like hiveworkshop and places like that. Hopefully I can get chapter 2 up tommorow. No spoilers but the new king isnt really the kind king he claims to be. *wink* But you might not see that until much later. There's still a lot to the history of this city, maybe another chapter or two worth but not that much. :3

The next few years were prospering years where the city grew and the citizens were happy. The new king didn’t show his self around all to often but when he did come, it was mostly to see that something was finished. Other than that, he was mostly peaceful. Until one faithful day though when the king was returning back to the castle from a meeting. A young child had just bought an apple and began running across the street.

The kid looks back and waves to the merchant and then bang! Him and the person he ran into fall over. It was the king!

“Why you little brat!” Yells the king as he notices who bumped into him. The guards that were escorting him look at each other and then face the king, their hands moving towards the hilt of their blades. They still didn’t trust their king and were ready to strike him down if he tried to harm the child. After all, it was just an accident.

The king looks around and notices everyone looking at him. He stands up and brushes some dust off and then walks over to the kid. The guards get a little antsy and the kid winces as a hand approaches him. A few moments pass and the kid looks to see the king’s hand being offered to him. The kid takes it and then is helped up.

“Here, go buy yourself something.” He say’s as he holds up a small pouch full of gold coins. There was enough gold in here to feed the kid for a week if he spent it wisely. “And watch where your going next time.” The kid nods and walks off, smiling as he does so.

There were very few incidents where the king has ever yelled and if he has, then he showed kindness afterwards. Most people were confused as to if they should continue to trust him or take him off of his throne. Overall, most agreed he should stay, none of them could deal with the hardships that came with holding the crown.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. There was little to no conflict in the city and everyone was joyful. However, there is more to this story than this. Their new king has been lying to them but with what? Not very many know. Those that do know have never really spoken of it, but why? There truly is something mysterious about this king and it will change the lives of these people when the time comes. And that time is soon and we will see it through the eyes of one faithful citizen. His name, Andrew.

Will they figure out in time what their king is truly up to or will it be too late?

Authors notes:
Sorry about not posting this yesterday and that this is short. However this concludes chapter 1 and opens up the beggining for chapter 2. I hope you all enjoy.

Lightly slam’s his metal hammer down onto the molten hot blade, shaping it’s edges. A loud clank sound is heard as he does it a few more times. He wipes some sweat off of his brow as he picks up the blade with his tongs and places it in the bucket of water. A jet of steam makes its way out of the barrel. He look’s up to the slamming of his door.

“Andrew, Andrew!” This new man say’s as he comes in, panting and clutching a blade. “Remember those blade’s the king has wanted us to craft for him?” Andrew nods slightly. “I figured something strange of them because of that metal we have never seen before that was given to us. I tested it out on those diamond dummies just a few minutes ago and you wont believe what happened!”

“Did you try it out on the old ones or the new.” Andrew say’s as he lightly tap’s his foot, wondering why his friend was testing out the king’s new blade on some metal testing dummies.

“The new ones! It sliced right through them, like a hot knife through butter.” Andrew’s eyes widen as he hears the news. “The stranger part was the black mist that came off the blade afterwords. I don’t know what’s with this stuff but it definitely isn't’t normal!”

“Well bring it here.” Andrew motion’s for his friend to come over. The man places the blade on the anvil. “If this blade was not’t normal…” He say’s as he picks it up with the tongs. “then placing it in the fire will have no effect on it.” He say’s as he moves the blade into the smoldering hot flames inside the furnace.

The two watch in awe as the blade indeed does heat up, but something strange happens. The flames hitting the blade turn black and a purple aura begins to emit off of the blade itself. They watch for a little while longer before taking it back out and placing it in the water.

“That definitely is strange.” Andrew say’s as he wait’s for it to cool off. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll take this one to the king myself and ask him about it. I’m sure he has an explanation for it.” He say’s as he take’s his brown apron off and places it on the metal hook. Their king had requested a set of twenty blades this month and all of them were given a new metal and a different colored gem to be used on it. Andrew thought nothing of it as he crafted them but this last one most definitely sparked his interest.

Grabbing the sheath for the blade, he places it on his waist and then sheaths the blade carefully. He was not a swordsman so he wanted to be careful not to cut himself or anyone. As he put’s on his hat he nods to wards his friend.

“Make sure to lock up for tonight when you get today’s work done, I don’t want anyone coming in here and stealing our blades.” He say’s before turning and leaving.

As he make’s his way to the castle, he hums a nice little tune to himself. He was wearing a white shirt and black leather jeans. His short dark blond hair swayed softly in the wind as he greeted some of his friends that he passed by. Being the cities head black smith meant he knew a lot of people. It was most definitely an honor to forge these blades for his king but now it was time to find out what those gems and metals are all about. They were not in any book that he had when he tried to look them up but eventually just made the blades without giving it another thought. It was for the king after all, it’s been a few years but trust has most definitely been built up between him and the city.

Reaching the gates, the guard’s let him pass, knowing of his business here. They tell him where the king is currently and he nods, heading up there at a slow pace. It’s been awhile since he has been in the castle, it looks more beautiful than he last remembered. It was a shame indeed that there last king had died here but the red carpets with gold trimmings made the stone floor look nice. Off topic… he shake’s his head to get focused back to the task at hand. Reaching the door he knocks and wait’s.

“Who is it?” Comes a voice from within the room.

“It is I, Andrew. I have come to deliver the last blade to you.” He say’s in truth.

“You may enter.” The king states.

Entering the room, it appeared to be his study. There were shelves full of books and at the other end of the room, was the king, sitting in a chair and writing something in the blank pages of just such a book. Only a few window’s illuminated the room as well as some candles. The large shield sitting on the wall in front of the king looked wonderful with it’s great craftsmanship and design. He closes the door behind him after entering.

“Sir, about that metal that you gave us to forge the blade.” The king stop’s writing and his eye’s look up into the shield to wards Andrew. “It’s quite a fascinating metal, one of my workers tested the blade…” The king turn’s around to face Andrew who was now standing a few feet away from the king.

“You tried out the blade?” The king asked with a bit of worry in his voice. Andrew dozen’t pick it up however.

“Not me, just a friend. He said that the blade sliced through one of our diamond dummies as if it were a piece of paper.” The king smirk’s as he nods, leaning back in his chair.

“I see. Would you like to know what kind of metal it is?” Andrew nods slightly. “It’s a rare metal that is pretty hard to find out in these lands. It just so happened that there was some hidden in this castle.”

“Hm… that is strange. When I put the blade back in the flames of my furnace, I saw the fire turn black and the blade illuminated purple.” The king began to get an angry look in his eyes. “I don’t think it’s normal…” Andrew trail’s off as he notices a light flicker off from the shield. He duck’s out of the way just in time as an arrow strikes the shield. The arrow would of went right through his head. He turn’s around to see someone up in the upper corner of the room, notching another arrow in his bow. He look’s to wards his king just as the king’s blade was being drawn from the sheath laying on the table.

“You’ve done seen too much Andrew, I’m afraid I must silence you.” Andrew turn’s and begins to run to wards the door, his only hope. An arrow flies directly to wards him and strike’s him in the arm. He winces but continues on, the arrow not doing to much damage. He get’s out the door and slam’s it closed. A blade make’s its way through the wooden door, resting right beside Andrew’s head.

He gulp’s as he begins to run down the halls, panting from being out of breath. He look’s behind him but see’s nothing as he rushes out of the castle gates and into the street’s of the city. Andrew waist’s no time as he make is his way to his home. It wasn’t really his home, more of a hotel. But he lived there none the less. Hopefully one of the maidens there could remove this arrow from his arm and patch up the wound.

Back at the castle, the king yank’s the blade from the door and then look’s up at his assassin. The man jumps down and then disappears in a could of black smoke. He then appears down on the floor, walking out of yet another black cloud.

“Did you use the poison arrow?” The man shake’s his head. “Damn it! He knows to much now.” He say’s as he slam’s his fist into the door.

“Do not worry sire, no one will believe him. He is just one man after all.” The king look’s up to wards the assassin.

“That’s not entirely true. I want you to head to the forge and kill anyone that is there. Do it silently.” The man nods and begins to back up. Black smoke engulfs him and then he is gone. “I’ll be damned if I let my plan’s be ruined so soon.” He sheath’s his blade and walk’s over to wards where he was writing.

Chapter 3

He pant’s softly as he lean’s forward in front of the tavern. Andrew was clutching his arm in pain as blood lightly poured down his sleeve. Knocking on the wooden door, sweat start’s to lightly trickle down his face. He has to wait a few minutes before he decides to knock again. Just as he lift’s his hand up, the door opens and out comes a woman holding a tray. She gasp’s as she see’s him.

“Andrew! What happened to you?” She look’s around real quick before motioning for him to come in. “Come in, come in.”

He follow’s her inside and sit’s down in one of the chairs. She asks him again what happened to him. He looks down at his arm before gulping and speaking.

“I’d like to get this arrow out of my arm first. Where is Jessy?” He say’s before clutching his arm again in pain. “Gah!” He clinches his eye’s shut.

“Alright, I’ll go get here. You sit tight.” She walk’s away to go get the person he asked for.

The tavern was mostly empty except for a few drunks that came in for some beer. They didn’t look to friendly. It didn’t take the serving winch to get back with the girl he had asked for.

Jessy, that was her name, looked to be around six foot. She had some muscles, quite a bit of them actually. She was wearing a white blouse with a tan skirt that went down to her mid calf. She also had on some black leather boots that covered up the rest of her legs. Her brunette hair was tied back in a pony tail. She looked worried when she first walked in.

“Andrew… did you go get yourself into a fight with a gang?” He chuckles softly, shaking his head no.

She walk’s over to him and grab’s onto the arrow. He winces from the pain. She smile’s at him as she tap’s his forehead as if to remind him of something. He sigh’s softly.

“Hold your breath child, this is going to hurt like hell.” He gulp’s as she grab’s onto his shoulder and pull’s back hard. A loud scream echoed throughout the tavern.

“****! Jessy… I thought you’d numb it first.” He say’s as he looks over at the open wound now.

“Well if I had any herb’s I sure would have done such a thing for you.” She places the arrow down on the table and grab’s some bandages. She begins to wrap his arm, around the wound, with it quickly and professionally. “Now why don’t you tell us what happened.” She say’s, sitting down after cutting the last bit off to finish up the wrapping.

He nods as he look’s at the bandaging. “It all started with those blade’s the king wanted me to make for him. I had finished the last one and was bringing it to him… There was something strange about them and when I asked him, there was an assassin hiding in the back of the room. I managed to dodge it’s first arrow but when I made it to the door, it got me with the second.”

Just then, a few soldier’s burst into the tavern. Jessy looks at them and then back to him. “I think this king has made a little white lie.” She say’s standing up. “Time to go honey.” He gulp’s, nodding.

Not even turning around to acknowledge the guards, the two of them begin to head up the stairs. The soldier’s begin to walk around, asking for Andrew by name. Jessy hurries him into one of the room’s with a window. She reaches under the bed and pull’s out a chest. Andrew pushes a chair up against the door to make it hard to open it from the outside.

She opens the chest quickly and inside, there was a rope. He raises a brow as he look’s at her. She get’s a ‘oh don’t give me that look’ look. She tie’s it to the bed post and throw’s it out the window just as the soldiers begin to bang on the door.

“Andrew! Come out with your hands behind your back! Your under arrest for treason against the king, and burning down your own shop…” Say’s one of the soldier’s as they begin to bang harder in an attempt to get the door open.

“They didn’t…” Andrew say’s with an angry tone. Jessy grab’s his arm and forces him to the rope.

“C’mon and get going… you cant stay here.” He nods as he grab’s onto the rope and begins to climb down it. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” He nod’s again and then start’s his journey down.

Just as he make’s it to the ground, the guards burst the door open, shattering it. “Hey!” They say as they push her out of the way, seeing the rope. They look down to watch a fleeing Andrew head into an ally way. “We have a runner!” One of them say as they begin to run down the stairs to warn the others. They completely ignored Jessy.

He was heading towards his smithy shop. He wanted to see if it was true. He look’s behind him to see if they had caught up and it appears that they haven’t. Turning the corner he stop’s in his tracks. There it was… his smithy. It was burning alright, in fact, it looked like it had been burning for quite some time now. He growl’s to himself as he slam’s his fist into the ground, trying to let out his anger.

Turning the corner, the soldier’s spot him. “Hey! You!” Andrew turns his head to see the soldiers and then sigh’s. He begins his running, rolling his eyes at this ridiculousness.

Turning another corner, there stood a group of soldier’s, looking around. He nearly stumbles forward trying to stop himself. He turn’s left and heads straight into another ally way. He stop’s to catch his breath, leaning forward and holding his hands on his knees. He looks out of the ally way, watching as the guards pass by, not noticing him.

Wiping some sweat off of his brow, he sighs. “Thank goodness.” He turns and nearly fall’s backwards. There was a hooded man with a bow in his hand. “Not you again…” He stands and start’s to run again, good thing he was close to the exit, just as an arrow flies out of the ally. The arrow nail’s a barrel and some beer begins to pour out into the street.

Continuing to run, he makes it pass some guards, trying to get as far out of range of that archer as he can before he can fire another arrow. “Hey! Get him!” The guards begin to chase after him now. He rounds a building panting still from all the long running. All of a sudden he trips.

“Oof! What the…” He start’s to get dragged into a hole. “Ahh!” He tries to grab onto something but it’s to late. He falls into the hole and it gets covered up. Something cover’s his mouth so he cant scream as the guards run over the covering of the hole. He looks around in the darkness to see who it was that apparently saved him.

Authors notes: Woot! Finished chapter 3 finally. I could just imagine some hilarious chase music playing the entire time he was running. Anywho, hope you enjoy the chapter.