At this point in time, I miss all my friends. I miss logging into the server and seeing the same people day after day. No matter what timezone people came from, you could always find someone to be your friend. I miss being friendly to most, and mean to others. I logged in to the test server today, because for what ever reason, I'm still white-listed. I walked around the old prison, and had so many good memories of Convicted. Then I started to think about it, I used to be important, or at the very least, I felt like I was. I felt that I was better than other players, either because I had more money on the server than they did, or I had a better plot, or I had been playing longer than they had been. But for what ever reason I choose to give, what it all comes down to in the end is, we are all the same. You're no better than I am, and I am no better than you are. We are all just people that want to have fun playing the game that we like, with people that we enjoy to play games with. I can't count the number of people that I met on Convicted that I will never forget, and it plagues me that I don't talk to them anymore for what ever reasons. It pains me that I've had so many friendships start and end on a game that is nothing more than virtual blocks. I used to feel important, up until a couple weeks ago. I made a post describing what I thought was a failed project of the server staff, but I now realize, they are doing the best they can, with a terrible situation that shouldn't have been there in the first place. I said some things that I regret, using words and mean speech that wasn't justified, because I felt like I was some hotshot. But the truth of the matter is that, words hurt. These people were my friends, that some of them I've known for over 2 years, and I made a post describing how they're doing such a terrible job. I felt like what I had to say actually mattered, but really, what I say doesn't mean a thing. The truth of the matter is, I am a 16 year old teenage boy on the internet, who felt like I was better than I actually am. I no longer feel that way. I am not important to this server, or even to any of you. I could go away today and never come back, and it wouldn't change anything on this server. Ever since the server shut down, I have had little to no contact with any of the Convicted community, or non staff members, and that makes me sad. I was friends with most of you, and we don't talk anymore. I said mean things to my friends when I made that post a few days ago, and that was wrong of me. So this is me, apologizing for what I have said to the people that were my friends. I acknowledge that I have tarnished our friendships, and I am no better than a gossiper that talks behind the backs of the people that trusted me. The truth of it all is, there are some staff members who probably won't talk to me ever again outside of the server, and I don't blame them. What I say isn't important anymore. Once you take away the people who think you are important, you are no longer important. I am nothing more than another C now. I took a good, hard look at some of the things that I said, and I realized that the staff members of Convicted are trying their best with the situation that they have been put in. No one wanted the server to shut down. No one wanted to have to rebuild the entire prison. No one wanted any of this to happen. But the sad thing is, is that it did happen.
I said what I said in my last post, because I wanted people to get their butts in gear, and put some effort in, but I was a staff member as well, and I wasn't doing any work myself. I feel like I have betrayed friendships, and I want people to understand why I said what I did. Don't think it was out of hatred or anything of that nature, I simply wanted to see results, without thinking of the cost. I apologize to the people that I targeted with that post, and I want you to know, that I truly am sorry for my words.
I have looked at the new map very recently, and I am impressed with all the hard work and dedication that has been put into it.
I think that I'm done feeling like I'm important. I've had a good run, but I'm not a hotshot, I'm just a guy on his computer. No one wants to listen to me anymore anyways.
If anyone wants to talk to me again, you can add me on skype. Jay.Trump
Alternatively, you can message me on the forums through this MCF account.
I don't blame you to be voice of the voiceless Rum. I also don't care was your earlies message fair or not. Everyone has their own opinion, but what really matters, we are still friends Rum. We will always have things what we both agree and things what we disagree in way or another.
You have my respect being the one who has done it all *Fist pump*