Just post you'r favorite quote(s). They can be MC related or not.
Here are some of mine:
And another one
Cyberman: Daleks, be warned; you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is pest control!
Cyberman: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: (pause) Four.
Cyberman: (somewhat tauntingly) You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?!
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyberman: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!
: Sade, I R WANT FURRY ART NAO
: I'll make one of a female raping you if you don't shuttup.
: It hurts so good?
: blow me
: -sigh- fien ill do you this time but i SWEAR choke me again and i bite it off
: **** i am tired
: LG_Legacy, RAWR
: Don't fall asleep Legacy. Sin will try to drag you to bed. >_>
: MY CAPS LOCK KEY SAYS YES
: Koitenshin, i stole his bed the last two nights :sleep.gif: made him sleep on the floor
: why else would he be so blah and mean
: Sins made me sleep on the floor because i don't wear clothes when i go to bed
: Sounds like Sin is jealous.
: Or osmething
Some of the funniest ones are the IRC logs of Bloodninja:
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled.
But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any
particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in
a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events
of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose
meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?
^ -- Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7
^ Activity Recorded M.Y. 2302.22467
^ TERMINATION OF SPECIMEN ADVISED
My gift to industry is the genetically engineered worker, or
Genejack. Specially designed for labor, the Genejack's muscles and
nerves are ideal for his task, and the cerebral cortex has been
atrophied so that he can desire nothing except to perform his
duties. Tyranny, you say? How can you tyrannize someone who cannot
People need heroes. They don't need to know how he died clawing his
eyes out, screaming for mercy. The real story would just hurt sales,
and dampen the spirits of our customers.
Of course we'll bundle our MorganNet software with the new
network nodes; our customers expect no less of us. We have never
sought to become a monopoly. Our products are simply so good that
no one feels the need to compete with us.
Beware of he who would
deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself
What do I care for your suffering? Pain, even agony, is no
more than information before the senses, data fed to the
computer of the mind. The lesson is simple: you have received
the information, now act on it. Take control of the input and
you shall become master of the output.
'Abort, Retry, Fail?' was the phrase some wormdog scrawled
next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when
the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds
on the huge organic comp systems, we'd remind them: if you see
this message, always choose 'Retry.'
Sid miers alpha centari quotes are awesome.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I disagree with you, therefore you are wrong.
Quality of output = Skill * Effort
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
-said by Bill Cosby
Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car...NAILED!
We were so poor growing up, that little iron...we had to actually use that little iron. That's not funny. It takes a long time to iron a shirt with that tiny little Monopoly iron.
I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
When you walk into the public restroom, why is everything wet?
You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. *Pppthhh.* 'Cause no one wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's very rude I'd be like, you know what? *PPpptthhh* Enjoy your spaghetti, you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, 'cause you're rude. *Pppttthh*... these are all dreams. These are all things we want to have.
Just go to an airport, stand in front of a person who is waiting for their flight, and stare at them until they notice you are there. When they look at you, just say "Don't get on the flight" and walk away. You know they're sitting there going "I don’t think I should get on this flight.. I think an angel just told me not to get on this flight.. Thank you angel wearing jeans!"
I was being chased by a giant crab. [Audience laughs] That's not funny.
By the way, I say God bless you when someone sneezes.. I never say bless you. Do you want to know why? Because I'm not the Lord! I can't do that . . . I'm just a messenger for the big guns up stairs. And I never say gesundheit, who even says that? GESUNDHEIT! I felt like I'm honoring Hitler or something, Like I'll end up on the History Channel because someone sneezed.
Quote/Unquote, and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
- Dane Cook
When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?
We must fall back upon the old axiom that when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth.
That is the case as it appears to the police, and improbable as it is, all other explanations are more improbable still.
You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear.
To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name.
- from Scandal in Bohemia, probably my favorite Holmes story.
"Data! Data! Data!" he cried impatiently. "I can't make bricks without clay."
His ignorance was as remarkable as his knowledge.
It was easier to know it than to explain why I know it.
It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes.
Violence does, in truth, recoil upon the violent, and the schemer falls into the pit which he digs for another.
To let the brain work without sufficient material is like racing an engine. It racks itself to pieces.
What one man can invent another can discover.
Nothing clears up a case so much as stating it to another person.
You know a conjurer gets no credit when once he has explained his trick; and if I show you too much of my method of working, you will come to the conclusion that I am a very ordinary individual after all.
I never guess. It is a shocking habit — destructive to the logical faculty.
"I followed you."
"I saw no one."
"That is what you may expect to see when I follow you."
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, (author) said by Sherlock Holmes (fictional character)
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where she is.
They do these teases to get you to watch late on. They’re so incredibly cruel: “It could be the most deadly thing in the world and you may be having it for dinner. We’ll tell you what it is tonight at 11:00.”
I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.'
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.
Just go up to somebody on the street and say “You’re it!” and just run away.
What’s with this sudden choice of disorders we get right now? When I was a kid, we just had crazy people, that’s it, just crazy people.
Our attention span is shot. We’ve all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don’t have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD – too busy disorder.
Our egos tells us we’re the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We’re the only ones with a relationship. We’re the only ones with family. You know, I think that if you kill a spider, there is a relationship that you’re ruining. There’s a conversation going on outside with the other spiders. ‘Did you hear about Chris?….Killed yeah….Sneaker. And now Stephanie has nine hundred babies to raise all alone. Well, she’s got her legs full I’ll tell you that right now. Chris was so kind, wouldn’t hurt a fly. It’s just been tough for them lately. They just lost their web last week. Those humans think they’re so smart. Let them try shooting silk out of their butt and see what they can make.
- Ellen DeGeneres
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.
One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.