I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
A teacher asks a student, "Are you ignorant or just apathetic?" The kid answers, "I don't know and I don't care."
With great reflexes comes great response ability.
Which two letters are very jealous? N-V.
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I Googled "how to start a fire". I got 48,500 matches.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
", sans-serif">Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A couple years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past.
I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Check out my suggestions! Here is one of them:
*plays Pokemon Go*
*sees a rare, giant rock snake pokemon*
"well that's Onix-pected."
sometimes, nullposts must be made.
My avatar: Faiya the dragon
404: eggs not found
I want to tell a joke about noble gases... but all the good ones argon.