i tell kadoink i only put the charcoal in the empty bottle and that he derped! i then gulp down 34 bottles of soda not the bottles but the soda really fast
then i eat some potatoes after grabbing 67 of them
I shove a helm of opposite alignment on the dragon and take one for myself. I also discard the box, the minigun, the partially full sniper rifle, another sniper rifle, and the longswords.
The helm busts apart when faced with the dragon's fat head! Then you throw your stuff on the ground, where it disappears.
I pick up fseftr's discarded sniper rifle (2/3 ammo) I then convert them into a Minisniper a long range extremely accurate minigun capable of using both sniper and minigun ammo. I run for the high ground I then shoot the Questioner Grenadiers grenade case to blow it up
You look around for the discarded sniper rifle, but it's not there! Perhaps it was discarded? You then run around, looking for high ground, but there isn't any nearby.
I eat a potato. Then i take my camera and snap a few pictures before sticking them in a blank diary. What was i doing again? Ah yes- I fill a rubber ball with potatoes and hurl it at the dragon.
You regain 20 health! You fill a blank diary with selfies, then fill a ball with potatoes and hit the dragon in the chest with your potato ball for 12 damage.
I grab a naval mine and set a very clever trap for the sleazy skeleton involving casinos, trap sprays in TF2, and 69 sequences of 69. It walks into the mine and gets blown into 69 pieces.
You "deal" 15 "damage" to a "sleazy" "skeleton" using a "mine". How "ingenious"!
It's about time that I throw my Slashpuncharang again. I throw it in the Questioner Grenadier's face.
I then climb on my Deathmower, attempting to use it as a vehicle.
The Slashpuncharang whips its blade and its boxing glove across the grenadier's face for 3 (+3) (+3) (+3) damage and bleeding! The Slashpuncharang returns intact, but the grenadier's face isn't. Then you sit on the Deathmower, but nothing happens.
I pick up the pieces of the sleazy skeleton who suffered my trap and slice each of the 69 pieces into 69 even smaller pieces with my butterknife. I then sell the pieces for $0.69 each on the Internet.
You grab some bones straight from the sleazy skeleton, damaging it for 15 damage, then cut them all up and sell them.
i tell kadoink i only put the charcoal in the empty bottle and that he derped! i then gulp down 34 bottles of soda not the bottles but the soda really fast
then i eat some potatoes after grabbing 67 of them
You drink the bottles of soda. Your stomach promptly explodes, killing you. You try to eat the potatoes, but you're dead.
I continue mauling the stormtroopers faces with my Sword.
12 (+2) damage.
Hostiles: The Questioner Snipers hide under their tarps... The Dragon flies up into the air! The Angel Statues do nothing... The Stormtroopers all fire at ClockworkMouse, RowntheKorok, Jgrissino, The_Serpent, trogdor22, trogdor22 again, and Conn6464, but all spectacularly miss! The Questioner Grenadier fires a grenade at SmashAlphaX for 27 damage! The explosion hits fseftr and The_Serpent for 13 and 14 damage! The Sleazy Skeletons attack fseftr, ClockworkMouse, The_Serpent, and powie4444 for 14, 14, 14, and 16 damage!
Allies: The Silverfish try to attack a Questioner Sniper, but can't see him! The 500MSG attacks a Sleazy Skeleton for 2 damage! The Big Rock Golem attacks a Sleazy Skeleton for 3 damage!
Events: BioShock_Rules degrades! TooManyItems is updated! The water pressure lowers!
Allies
x4 Silverfish [HP: 5/5 | AT: 1]
x1 Five Hundred Metal Sheet Golem [HP: 95/100 | AT: 1]
x1 Big Rock Golem [HP: 42/56 | AT: 3]
Players Jgrissino - HP: 95/100 - MP: 0/50 - AP: 54/80 - Items in hand: x1 Ivory Wand, x1 +2 Sharp Longsword, x1 Chess Piece, x1 Backshell Footshell (AP: 13/30) x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flare Gun (Ammo: 0/1) x2 Bag (Contents: None) x1 Bat-Armor (AP: 44/50) x2 Bat Hide Bit, x3 Bit of Metal, x1 Laser Pointer, x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Machine (Fluid: 73%) x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Brick, x1 Orange Box, x1 Knife Sharpener - Spells: Build-a-Golem (10 MP) Pokefan151 - HP: 64/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Picto Box, x1 Picture of a Possessed Blender, x1 Picture of Pokefan151, x1 Neon Sign, x1 Empty Can, x2 Umbrella, Enemy Bestiary, x1 T-Rex Claw, x1 Declawed T-Rex Arm, x1 Half Of A DVORAK Keyboard - Spells: Jumbo Shrimp (8 MP) nulitor - HP: 1/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Prosthetic Leg, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None Scorpionius - HP: 91/100 - MP: 50/50 - AP: 5/5 - Items in hand: x1 Slashpuncharang, x1 Wrench, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Empty Jar, x2 Empty Glue Bottle, x1 Golden Gluer Handle, x1 Hedgehog Jacket, x1 Umbrella, x5 Gold Ring, x1 Flower Pot (AP: 5/5) x1 Deathmower (Charge: 100% | Ammo: (14/20) (15/20)) x1 Hot Dog Bun - Spells: None BioShock_Rules - HP: 23/25 (Zombified for 1 more turn) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Ball Blammer Blaster (Ammo: 41/50) x1 Wrench, x1 Bat Hide-Wrapped Sharp Eldritch Butterknife (Souls: 2) x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 1/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Mediocre Brain, x1 Knife Sharpener, x1 Vial, Item Bestiary - Spells: None Conn6464 - HP: 52/100 - MP: 40/50 - Items in hand: x1 FLOOT HALARIUOS XTREME FIAR ELICTRIK CHANMACHATIE!!, x1 Astral Spellbook, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Umbrella - Spells: Technobabble (2 MP) Electroshock (5 MP) Explodonate (20 MP) Goomba98 - HP: 86/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Lightsaber, x1 Wrench, x1 Egg Carton (Contents: x12 Egg) x1 Flay-Douw, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flint, x2 Umbrella, x1 Sitrus Berry, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30)
x1 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x1 Minigun (Ammo: 20/20) x1 Fig Cookie, x1 Pair of Nunchucks, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Orange Box, x1 Charcoal, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 T-Rex Arm, x1 Potato, x1 Naval Mine - Spells: None fseftr - HP: 37/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x4 Umbrella, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Vial of Antidote, Helm of Opposite Alignment (Charge: 5/5) - Spells: None SmashAlphaX - HP: 16/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Willsheetpants, x1 Pants Kit, x4 Willow Shaving, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None The_Serpent - HP: 26/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Icicle With Dead Leaf Wrapped Around It, x1 Lemon-Pickled Suspicious-Looking Eye, x1 Cushion Animal, x1 Saddle, x1 Magnetic W, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Foil, x1 Umbrella, x1 Rag of Souls, x1 Artifact of Odin - Spells: None ClockworkMouse - HP: 71/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None powie4444 - HP: 57/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None Creepershlap - HP: 0/100 (Sugar high for 4 more turns) (Water ballooned for 2 more turns) (Hands of burn for 1 more turn) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Leather Jacket, x4 Empty Can, x87 Corn on the Cob, x463 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x56 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30) x38 Pair of Nunchucks, x79 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x36 Empty Bottle - Spells: None trogdor22 - HP: 72/100 (Stubble-free for 2 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Can of Grease, x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 0/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Jetpack (Fluid: 100%) x1 Supercharged Battery, x1 Super Shaver Razor Blader, x1 Orange Box, x1 Cardboard Portal Gun - Spells: None SparkyWasabi - HP: 59/100 (Yellow-bellied for 3 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Knife, x2 Shard of Plus Sign, x1 Umbrella, x1 Wooden Beam, x1 Lawn Mower, x1 Stone Slab, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 15/30) x1 Yellow Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Empty Paint Can, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 Diary (Contents: x4 Picture of SparkyWasabi) - Spells: None RowntheKorok - HP: 79/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Gold Ring, x1 Vial - Spells: None
TooManyItems
Rice Bowl
Striped Sweater
Jar of Sugar
Metal Rod
French Horn
Holy Bomb, Batman
Insta-Beard Hair Tonic (Fluid: 100%)
Orange Peeler
YouTube Comment
Blank Sylladex Card
Item Bestiary
Special item. Electronic. Magical. Metallic. Copies items and butts. Has 100 charges. Each copy uses 15 charges. Cannot be removed by normal means.
Generic food item. Organic. Eat it to regain health. Tastes like ham and pineapple.
Generic item. Electronic. Metallic. Can be used to relay certain items between two separate paths.
Generic healing item. Fabric. Use it to heal, or maybe to staunch bleeding.
Generic metal thing item. Metallic. Use it to build stuff or for "that's what she said" jokes.
Generic food item. Organic. Eat it to regain health. You can use it in a s'more.
Generic item. Electronic. Metallic. Plastic. Use for blowing out eardrums or drumming out ear-blows.
Generic item. Electronic. Glass. Breaks apart easily. Can be used as a light source if you provide power.
Generic explosive item. Plastic. The scourge of eyes and police officers everywhere.
Generic currency item. Metallic. Might be phased out by the government eventually.
Generic currency item. Metallic. If you had one of these every time you won a game, you'd have three round gray coins.
Generic currency item. Metallic. Collect 100 of them and you'll get an extra life.
Generic currency item. Metallic. Small, yellow, and different.
Generic food item. Organic. Eat it to regain health. French people always have one in a bag when they get mugged.
Generic item. Organic. Can be used to tie things up, Scooby-Doo style.
Generic spellbook. Magical. Organic. Plastic. Always grants the spell Technobabble.
Generic item. Organic. Irritating to the eyes and nose. Also has to catch them all.
Generic item. Organic. Useful for parties, or scattering around people's rooms to make cleaning up harder.
Generic food item. Organic. Plastic. Eat it to regain health. Hard to open.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Smells foul.
Generic item. Metallic. Can also be used as makeshift snow boots.
Generic spellbook. Magical. Organic. A boring spellbook.
Generic gun item. Metallic. Not as small as it looks.
Generic item. Electronic. Power up your car or other vehicle with this battery, even if it runs on oil.
Generic item. Electronic. Use it after eating at the Chum Bucket.
Generic explosive item. Organic. Metallic. And you thought these things smelled bad on the outside.
Generic item. Organic. Weird. Not related to a lead zeppelin.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Makes a loud bang, but not too useful for actual enemies.
Generic food item. Organic. A brownish bean, covered with some kind of gravy-like sauce. Friends with Rango.
Generic food item. Organic. Now that's just dirty.
Generic item. Organic. Don't put food down one of these.
Generic item. Organic. Fabric. A leather boot, smelling of saltwater and athlete's foot. You might have bought this from a big brother, but maybe not.
Generic explosive item. Organic. Metallic. Fabric. A chamois of guncotton, which is like gunpowder, but cotton. Like a dog, but not.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Electronic. A small blue bomb that looks like a rocket.
Generic explosive item. Organic. Glass. Fabric. What a waste of perfectly good alcohol!
Generic item. Organic. Looks suspiciously like green peas and chunks of meat.
Generic food item. Organic. It takes two of these.
Generic item. Metallic. Fabric. Sold by penguins.
Special item. Organic. Fabric. Use this to automatically run away from particularly strong baddies, but only if you're a LOSER.
Generic food item. Organic. Doesn't make you grow.
Generic food item. Organic. Fortunately, it doesn't taste bitter.
Generic food item. Organic. This is a real man's egg, out to sleuth your problems, and wearing a fedora back when they were cool.
Generic food item. Organic. A natural laxative.
Generic food item. Organic. You can haz cheezburger?
Generic food item. Organic. Not for direct eating, but as a garnish to make stuff look good.
Generic food item. Organic. You'd go on a quest for this!
Generic food item. Organic. Metallic. Chomp on this and your muscles will hideously swell up to unrealistically huge proportions! Eat your veggies, kids.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Use this quickly, or it'll start walking around.
Generic item. Weird. A green cube with rounded corners. You can't get any more generic than this.
Generic item. Water. Plastic. Good for chucking at your enemies. If you don't have any enemies, you will once you start tossing these at people.
Body part. Organic. This is the disembodied head of Iklaendia. It's a good thing he wasn't a horseman.
Generic item. Organic. Metallic. Put something on the spring to make it bounce when the box is opened.
Crafted item. Metallic. Electronic. A hastily-built robotic roasting spit, with equal amounts of shocks and heat. Why? Science, of course!
Generic item. Organic. If only you had done it with this, you wouldn't have to face the bees. Not the bees!
Generic item. Organic. Plastic. Don't drop it! Or else you might slip on it, of course.
Generic item. Organic. Plastic. Metallic. A corny musical about 50's teenagers, contained in one can.
Generic food item. Organic. Metallic. This is the result of a cheating golden coin.
Generic item. Metallic. What a piece of sheet!
Generic food item. Organic. The only reason you don't have two of these is because you ain't no Hollaback girl.
Generic item. Plastic. Do you ever feel like one of these?
Generic item. Ceramic. This thing can and will get broken in the very first 30 minutes of anything with it in it. Might as well smash it over an enemy's head!
Generic item. Organic. Did you know this thing is made out of mainly bat butts? That makes it a bat-ass bat hide.
Generic item. Organic. Plastic. Metallic. This is a little box with a bunch of pants-making stuff in it.
Modified item. Plastic. Magical. This is a butterknife used for cutting both butter and souls. It's wrapped in a sturdy bat hide and sharpened to a point, which makes it more of a normal knife than a butterknife.
Enemy Bestiary
Beast. Large. This is when you lie on the ground and wiggle, but you have gigantism. Er, wait. This is a huge earthworm, most likely after eating some magic crocodile tongues. Maybe it can meet up with a giant spider, a giant grasshopper, a giant centipede, a giant glowworm, a giant ladybug, and a giant silkworm inside a giant peach.
Dude. Medium. This is a special type of mook, who works for the Questioner, a villain who leaves simple riddles around that completely detail his evil plans. If you asked this mook why he would just give people his plans if they can solve an easy riddle, he would probably just kill you.
Beast. Humanoid. Medium. This is a crossover show about two unlikely friends who live together and operate a baby-sitting service - wait, that's something else. This is actually a horrific combination of a man and a cat - hence the unoriginal name, Man Cat. Not to be confused with the bug version.
Beast. Large. Some rafgous loors would have you know, this varkasinous poodleragger is actually called a Jabberwock. However, you traintly slayed those rafgous loors with your gibbarweinous vorpal sword. Snick and snack, thwickity thwack, and with their collective heads, you came galumphing back. Then the police arrested you for murder.
Beast. Elemental. Small. Did you know that Solid Snake has a fourth clone brother? This one, however, is an actual snake, and an actual representation of a state of matter. It's a real gas! Like, a real gas, as in air, so you probably won't be able to hit it with conventional weapons.
Dude. Medium. When you give a mook whatever the normal mooks attack with, you teach him for a day. When you give a mook a sniper rifle, you teach him for a lifetime. When you take that sniper rifle back, though, you unteach him those useful sniper skills.
Beast. Large. The might of the dragons is known throughout the land, and such and such. The dragon is a fearsome flying unit and is capable of attacking both ground and air units. Unlike the balloon, the dragon has both ranged and splash damage, like the wizard. You probably won't get to summon one of these, but you probably will fight against them, and if the odds of victory are high, then you must fight!
Horror. Humanoid. Medium. These things are probably the creepiest rouges in the entire gallery, but they don't do anything... or do they?!?! Probably not. But just in case, you'd better take these things out. Legend has it that they'll do something if you take your eyes off it, but since it's so creepy, you likely won't do that, Dave. Or Davros, if you have that name.
Dude. Medium. Stormtroopers are the finest sharpshooters in the galaxy, and these guys are no exception - perhaps even more accurate. Don't take your eyes off them - they can kill a man with one shot, even if he's caked in armor. They can hit a can off a wall from hundreds of feet (or meters) away, and they can shoot around corners, given enough momentum!
Not really. Stormtroopers suck at shooting.
Dude. Medium. When life gave this mook lemons, he didn't make lemonade. He made combustible lemons to burn life's house down! But instead of combustible lemons, he made grenades! But since life was merely an abstract idea, he didn't burn anybody's house down, until he was hired by the Questioner to do that for a living.
Undead. Medium. This skeleton likes to cop butts and check out curves, both male, female, or not male or female. It really deserves a beating, other than a couple of indignant slaps here and there. Don't let it get drunk! It'll just amp up the sleaze, and you don't want the sleaze.
Notes
- Plot Coupons: 2
- Current Raw Battlefield Conditions: None
- Current Total Battlefield Conditions: None
I grab an Insta-Beard Hair Tonic and walk up to the sniper. Then i yank off his tarp and spray his eyeballs before he has a chance to do anything. While hes running around screaming and scratching his eyes, i take his sniper rifle.
I take a French Horn, a Holy Bomb, Batman, an Orange Peeler, a Youtube comment, and a Blank Sylladex Card. I then captchalogue the nunchucks. Lastly, I try to peel the Questioner Grenaider.
I pull the eyebeard off and shove it down Jgrissino's throat and consume a soul from my butterknife.
You have attacked a silverfish, the big rock golem, and the 500 metal sheet golem. All allies. Anyway, i Slice bio's skull open with my sword, ending his "life". Then i eat a bowl of rice.
I grab an Insta-Beard Hair Tonic and walk up to the sniper. Then i yank off his tarp and spray his eyeballs before he has a chance to do anything. While hes running around screaming and scratching his eyes, i take his sniper rifle.
You literally give the sniper the hairy eyeball. It burns! Then you grab his sniper rifle, leaving him rifle-less.
I put a stripy sweater on, then grab a jar of sugar and an iron bar. I throw sugar into the dragon's eyes and then whack him with the bar.
You wear a striped sweater, because the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time. You take that other stuff, then grab a handful of sugar out of the jar and throw it in a dragon's eyes, and chuck the iron bar at its head for 13 damage. The bar falls on the ground and vanishes.
I start my Deathmower and sit on it. With the metal rod, I will steer.
The Deathmower roars, and I steer it to the Questioner Grenadier, which I hit.
You sit on the Deathmower, start it up, and jam the metal rod in one of the holes. The Deathmower makes some ugly noises, and the rod flies out in an explosion of smoke and nails a Stormtrooper in the gut for 12 damage.
I use my insta-beard hair tonic on bio's eyeballs, then eat a bowl of rice. ( I have no regrets, he's attacked our allies too many times now)
You blind him, and then chow down on a bowl for rice, but which does not contain rice in itself. You get some splinters in your esophagus for 5 damage.
I take a French Horn, a Holy Bomb, Batman, an Orange Peeler, a Youtube comment, and a Blank Sylladex Card. I then captchalogue the nunchucks. Lastly, I try to peel the Questioner Grenaider.
You do that, then skin the Grenadier's delicious orange peel, or perhaps head scalp for 14 damage.
I pull the eyebeard off and shove it down Jgrissino's throat and consume a soul from my butterknife.
Like, a lot.
You pull off the beard, but almost completely destroy your eyes in the process. Then you force Jgrissino to eat it, thoroughly sickening him. You consume another butterknife soul, replenishing your zombification.
You have attacked a silverfish, the big rock golem, and the 500 metal sheet golem. All allies. Anyway, i Slice bio's skull open with my sword, ending his "life". Then i eat a bowl of rice.
Guys, guys, we're a team here... D: This is ridiculous, you can't just kill someone off. I'd sort it out now or you'll be looking in the eye of a ban.
It's the eye of the ban, rising up to the challenge of team killing!
Hostiles: The Questioner Sniper shoots the 500MSG for 34 damage! The other sniper runs around screaming and pulling at his eye beard! The Dragon flies around blindly! The Angel Statues do nothing... The Elite Stormtroopers all fire at the Huge Shrimp, the 500MSG, the Big Rock Golem, Goomba98, trogdor22, SparkyWasabi, fseftr, and Goomba98 again, and all miss! The Questioner Grenadier fires his last grenade at nulitor, but misses and hits SmashAlphaX instead, killing him! The Sleazy Skeletons attack SparkyWasabi, nulitor, and the Big Rock Golem for 16 damage, 16 damage, and a miss, killing nulitor! The last skeleton drinks its margarita!
Allies: The Silverfish attack an Elite Stormtrooper for 4 damage! The 500MSG consumes a metal rod, regaining 10 health! The Big Rock Golem attacks an Elite Stormtrooper for 3 damage! The Huge Shrimp lays an egg!
Events: The Questioner Grenadier takes 11 damage from bleeding! Creepershlap takes 23 damage from burns, not that it really matters anymore! TooManyItems is updated!
Allies
x3 Silverfish [HP: 5/5 | AT: 1]
x1 Five Hundred Metal Sheet Golem [HP: 71/100 | AT: 1]
x1 Big Rock Golem [HP: 42/56 | AT: 3]
x1 Huge Shrimp [HP: 43/43 | AT: 8] x1 Shrimp Caviar
Players Jgrissino - HP: 90/100 - MP: 2/50 - AP: 54/80 - Items in hand: x1 Ivory Wand, x1 +2 Sharp Longsword, x1 Chess Piece, x1 Backshell Footshell (AP: 13/30) x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flare Gun (Ammo: 0/1) x2 Bag (Contents: None) x1 Bat-Armor (AP: 44/50) x2 Bat Hide Bit, x3 Bit of Metal, x1 Laser Pointer, x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Machine (Fluid: 73%) x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Brick, x1 Orange Box, x1 Knife Sharpener, x1 Insta-Beard Hair Tonic (Fluid: 53%) x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 5/5) - Spells: Build-a-Golem (10 MP) Pokefan151 - HP: 64/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Picto Box, x1 Picture of a Possessed Blender, x1 Picture of Pokefan151, x1 Neon Sign, x1 Empty Can, x2 Umbrella, Enemy Bestiary, x1 T-Rex Claw, x1 Declawed T-Rex Arm, x1 Half Of A DVORAK Keyboard - Spells: Jumbo Shrimp (8 MP) nulitor - HP: 0/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Prosthetic Leg, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None Scorpionius - HP: 91/100 - MP: 50/50 - AP: 5/5 - Items in hand: x1 Slashpuncharang, x1 Wrench, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Empty Jar, x2 Empty Glue Bottle, x1 Golden Gluer Handle, x1 Hedgehog Jacket, x1 Umbrella, x5 Gold Ring, x1 Flower Pot (AP: 5/5) x1 Deathmower (Charge: 100% | Ammo: (14/20) (15/20)) x1 Hot Dog Bun - Spells: None BioShock_Rules - HP: 86/100 (Zombified for 4 more turns) (Blind for 16 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Ball Blammer Blaster (Ammo: 41/50) x1 Wrench, x1 Bat Hide-Wrapped Sharp Eldritch Butterknife (Souls: 1) x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 1/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Mediocre Brain, x1 Knife Sharpener, x1 Vial, Item Bestiary, x1 YouTube Comment - Spells: None Conn6464 - HP: 52/100 - MP: 42/50 - Items in hand: x1 FLOOT HALARIUOS XTREME FIAR ELICTRIK CHANMACHATIE!!, x1 Astral Spellbook, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Umbrella - Spells: Technobabble (2 MP) Electroshock (5 MP) Explodonate (20 MP) Goomba98 - HP: 86/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Lightsaber, x1 Wrench, x1 Egg Carton (Contents: x12 Egg) x1 Flay-Douw, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flint, x2 Umbrella, x1 Sitrus Berry, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30)
x1 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x1 Minigun (Ammo: 20/20) x1 Fig Cookie, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Orange Box, x1 Charcoal, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 T-Rex Arm, x1 Potato, x1 Naval Mine, x1 French Horn, x1 Holy Bomb, Batman, x1 Orange Peeler, x1 YouTube Comment, x1 Sylladex Card (Contents: x1 Pair of Nunchucks) x1 Scalp - Spells: None fseftr - HP: 37/100 (Sugar high for 4 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x4 Umbrella, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Vial of Antidote, Helm of Opposite Alignment (Charge: 5/5) - Spells: None SmashAlphaX - HP: 0/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Willsheetpants, x1 Pants Kit, x4 Willow Shaving, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None The_Serpent - HP: 26/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Icicle With Dead Leaf Wrapped Around It, x1 Lemon-Pickled Suspicious-Looking Eye, x1 Cushion Animal, x1 Saddle, x1 Magnetic W, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Foil, x1 Umbrella, x1 Rag of Souls, x1 Artifact of Odin - Spells: None ClockworkMouse - HP: 71/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None powie4444 - HP: 57/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None Creepershlap - HP: 0/100 (Sugar high for 3 more turns) (Water ballooned for 1 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Leather Jacket, x4 Empty Can, x87 Corn on the Cob, x463 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x56 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30) x38 Pair of Nunchucks, x79 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x36 Empty Bottle - Spells: None trogdor22 - HP: 72/100 (Stubble-free for 2 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Can of Grease, x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 0/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Jetpack (Fluid: 100%) x1 Supercharged Battery, x1 Super Shaver Razor Blader, x1 Orange Box, x1 Cardboard Portal Gun - Spells: None SparkyWasabi - HP: 43/100 (Yellow-bellied for 2 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Knife, x2 Shard of Plus Sign, x1 Umbrella, x1 Wooden Beam, x1 Lawn Mower, x1 Stone Slab, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 15/30) x1 Yellow Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Empty Paint Can, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 Diary (Contents: x4 Picture of SparkyWasabi) x1 Striped Sweater, x1 Jar of Sugar (85% full) - Spells: None RowntheKorok - HP: 79/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Gold Ring, x1 Vial - Spells: None FullMetalAlchemy_101 - HP: 100/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: None - Spells: None
TooManyItems
Jewelry Pliers
Cup of Overpriced Coffee
Boots of Hydrophobia
Vial of Blood
Hippo Egg
Cluster Bomb
Floating Gravel
Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant HouseTM Bag of Popcorn
Name Tag
Item Bestiary
Special item. Electronic. Magical. Metallic. Copies items and butts. Has 100 charges. Each copy uses 15 charges. Cannot be removed by normal means.
Generic food item. Organic. Eat it to regain health. Tastes like ham and pineapple.
Generic item. Electronic. Metallic. Can be used to relay certain items between two separate paths.
Generic healing item. Fabric. Use it to heal, or maybe to staunch bleeding.
Generic metal thing item. Metallic. Use it to build stuff or for "that's what she said" jokes.
Generic food item. Organic. Eat it to regain health. You can use it in a s'more.
Generic item. Electronic. Metallic. Plastic. Use for blowing out eardrums or drumming out ear-blows.
Generic item. Electronic. Glass. Breaks apart easily. Can be used as a light source if you provide power.
Generic explosive item. Plastic. The scourge of eyes and police officers everywhere.
Generic currency item. Metallic. Might be phased out by the government eventually.
Generic currency item. Metallic. If you had one of these every time you won a game, you'd have three round gray coins.
Generic currency item. Metallic. Collect 100 of them and you'll get an extra life.
Generic currency item. Metallic. Small, yellow, and different.
Generic food item. Organic. Eat it to regain health. French people always have one in a bag when they get mugged.
Generic item. Organic. Can be used to tie things up, Scooby-Doo style.
Generic spellbook. Magical. Organic. Plastic. Always grants the spell Technobabble.
Generic item. Organic. Irritating to the eyes and nose. Also has to catch them all.
Generic item. Organic. Useful for parties, or scattering around people's rooms to make cleaning up harder.
Generic food item. Organic. Plastic. Eat it to regain health. Hard to open.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Smells foul.
Generic item. Metallic. Can also be used as makeshift snow boots.
Generic spellbook. Magical. Organic. A boring spellbook.
Generic gun item. Metallic. Not as small as it looks.
Generic item. Electronic. Power up your car or other vehicle with this battery, even if it runs on oil.
Generic item. Electronic. Use it after eating at the Chum Bucket.
Generic explosive item. Organic. Metallic. And you thought these things smelled bad on the outside.
Generic item. Organic. Weird. Not related to a lead zeppelin.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Makes a loud bang, but not too useful for actual enemies.
Generic food item. Organic. A brownish bean, covered with some kind of gravy-like sauce. Friends with Rango.
Generic food item. Organic. Now that's just dirty.
Generic item. Organic. Don't put food down one of these.
Generic item. Organic. Fabric. A leather boot, smelling of saltwater and athlete's foot. You might have bought this from a big brother, but maybe not.
Generic explosive item. Organic. Metallic. Fabric. A chamois of guncotton, which is like gunpowder, but cotton. Like a dog, but not.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Electronic. A small blue bomb that looks like a rocket.
Generic explosive item. Organic. Glass. Fabric. What a waste of perfectly good alcohol!
Generic item. Organic. Looks suspiciously like green peas and chunks of meat.
Generic food item. Organic. It takes two of these.
Generic item. Metallic. Fabric. Sold by penguins.
Special item. Organic. Fabric. Use this to automatically run away from particularly strong baddies, but only if you're a LOSER.
Generic food item. Organic. Doesn't make you grow.
Generic food item. Organic. Fortunately, it doesn't taste bitter.
Generic food item. Organic. This is a real man's egg, out to sleuth your problems, and wearing a fedora back when they were cool.
Generic food item. Organic. A natural laxative.
Generic food item. Organic. You can haz cheezburger?
Generic food item. Organic. Not for direct eating, but as a garnish to make stuff look good.
Generic food item. Organic. You'd go on a quest for this!
Generic food item. Organic. Metallic. Chomp on this and your muscles will hideously swell up to unrealistically huge proportions! Eat your veggies, kids.
Generic explosive item. Metallic. Use this quickly, or it'll start walking around.
Generic item. Weird. A green cube with rounded corners. You can't get any more generic than this.
Generic item. Water. Plastic. Good for chucking at your enemies. If you don't have any enemies, you will once you start tossing these at people.
Body part. Organic. This is the disembodied head of Iklaendia. It's a good thing he wasn't a horseman.
Generic item. Organic. Metallic. Put something on the spring to make it bounce when the box is opened.
Crafted item. Metallic. Electronic. A hastily-built robotic roasting spit, with equal amounts of shocks and heat. Why? Science, of course!
Generic item. Organic. If only you had done it with this, you wouldn't have to face the bees. Not the bees!
Generic item. Organic. Plastic. Don't drop it! Or else you might slip on it, of course.
Generic item. Organic. Plastic. Metallic. A corny musical about 50's teenagers, contained in one can.
Generic food item. Organic. Metallic. This is the result of a cheating golden coin.
Generic item. Metallic. What a piece of sheet!
Generic food item. Organic. The only reason you don't have two of these is because you ain't no Hollaback girl.
Generic item. Plastic. Do you ever feel like one of these?
Generic item. Ceramic. This thing can and will get broken in the very first 30 minutes of anything with it in it. Might as well smash it over an enemy's head!
Generic item. Organic. Did you know this thing is made out of mainly bat butts? That makes it a bat-ass bat hide.
Generic item. Organic. Plastic. Metallic. This is a little box with a bunch of pants-making stuff in it.
Modified item. Plastic. Magical. This is a butterknife used for cutting both butter and souls. It's wrapped in a sturdy bat hide and sharpened to a point, which makes it more of a normal knife than a butterknife.
Enemy Bestiary
Beast. Large. This is when you lie on the ground and wiggle, but you have gigantism. Er, wait. This is a huge earthworm, most likely after eating some magic crocodile tongues. Maybe it can meet up with a giant spider, a giant grasshopper, a giant centipede, a giant glowworm, a giant ladybug, and a giant silkworm inside a giant peach.
Dude. Medium. This is a special type of mook, who works for the Questioner, a villain who leaves simple riddles around that completely detail his evil plans. If you asked this mook why he would just give people his plans if they can solve an easy riddle, he would probably just kill you.
Beast. Humanoid. Medium. This is a crossover show about two unlikely friends who live together and operate a baby-sitting service - wait, that's something else. This is actually a horrific combination of a man and a cat - hence the unoriginal name, Man Cat. Not to be confused with the bug version.
Beast. Large. Some rafgous loors would have you know, this varkasinous poodleragger is actually called a Jabberwock. However, you traintly slayed those rafgous loors with your gibbarweinous vorpal sword. Snick and snack, thwickity thwack, and with their collective heads, you came galumphing back. Then the police arrested you for murder.
Beast. Elemental. Small. Did you know that Solid Snake has a fourth clone brother? This one, however, is an actual snake, and an actual representation of a state of matter. It's a real gas! Like, a real gas, as in air, so you probably won't be able to hit it with conventional weapons.
Dude. Medium. When you give a mook whatever the normal mooks attack with, you teach him for a day. When you give a mook a sniper rifle, you teach him for a lifetime. When you take that sniper rifle back, though, you unteach him those useful sniper skills.
Beast. Large. The might of the dragons is known throughout the land, and such and such. The dragon is a fearsome flying unit and is capable of attacking both ground and air units. Unlike the balloon, the dragon has both ranged and splash damage, like the wizard. You probably won't get to summon one of these, but you probably will fight against them, and if the odds of victory are high, then you must fight!
Horror. Humanoid. Medium. These things are probably the creepiest rouges in the entire gallery, but they don't do anything... or do they?!?! Probably not. But just in case, you'd better take these things out. Legend has it that they'll do something if you take your eyes off it, but since it's so creepy, you likely won't do that, Dave. Or Davros, if you have that name.
Dude. Medium. Stormtroopers are the finest sharpshooters in the galaxy, and these guys are no exception - perhaps even more accurate. Don't take your eyes off them - they can kill a man with one shot, even if he's caked in armor. They can hit a can off a wall from hundreds of feet (or meters) away, and they can shoot around corners, given enough momentum!
Not really. Stormtroopers suck at shooting.
Dude. Medium. When life gave this mook lemons, he didn't make lemonade. He made combustible lemons to burn life's house down! But instead of combustible lemons, he made grenades! But since life was merely an abstract idea, he didn't burn anybody's house down, until he was hired by the Questioner to do that for a living.
Undead. Medium. This skeleton likes to cop butts and check out curves, both male, female, or not male or female. It really deserves a beating, other than a couple of indignant slaps here and there. Don't let it get drunk! It'll just amp up the sleaze, and you don't want the sleaze.
Notes
- Plot Coupons: 2
- Current Raw Battlefield Conditions: None
- Current Total Battlefield Conditions: None
I attempt to douse the Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant HouseTM with the Cup of Overpriced Coffee, then bring it near the Boots of Hydrophobia to launch it at the nearest enemy before it House-ifies on them.
then i eat some potatoes after grabbing 67 of them
You regain 20 health, then deal 13 damage.
The helm busts apart when faced with the dragon's fat head! Then you throw your stuff on the ground, where it disappears.
You look around for the discarded sniper rifle, but it's not there! Perhaps it was discarded? You then run around, looking for high ground, but there isn't any nearby.
4 (+2) damage to 3 of them!
You regain 20 health! You fill a blank diary with selfies, then fill a ball with potatoes and hit the dragon in the chest with your potato ball for 12 damage.
You "deal" 15 "damage" to a "sleazy" "skeleton" using a "mine". How "ingenious"!
The Slashpuncharang whips its blade and its boxing glove across the grenadier's face for 3 (+3) (+3) (+3) damage and bleeding! The Slashpuncharang returns intact, but the grenadier's face isn't. Then you sit on the Deathmower, but nothing happens.
4 damage to 3 of them. You run out of mana!
You do that, then play him off, keyboard skeleton for 14 damage!
You grab some bones straight from the sleazy skeleton, damaging it for 15 damage, then cut them all up and sell them.
12 (+2) damage.
You drink the bottles of soda. Your stomach promptly explodes, killing you. You try to eat the potatoes, but you're dead.
12 (+2) damage.
Hostiles: The Questioner Snipers hide under their tarps... The Dragon flies up into the air! The Angel Statues do nothing... The Stormtroopers all fire at ClockworkMouse, RowntheKorok, Jgrissino, The_Serpent, trogdor22, trogdor22 again, and Conn6464, but all spectacularly miss! The Questioner Grenadier fires a grenade at SmashAlphaX for 27 damage! The explosion hits fseftr and The_Serpent for 13 and 14 damage! The Sleazy Skeletons attack fseftr, ClockworkMouse, The_Serpent, and powie4444 for 14, 14, 14, and 16 damage!
Allies: The Silverfish try to attack a Questioner Sniper, but can't see him! The 500MSG attacks a Sleazy Skeleton for 2 damage! The Big Rock Golem attacks a Sleazy Skeleton for 3 damage!
Events: BioShock_Rules degrades! TooManyItems is updated! The water pressure lowers!
Wave 4
x2 Questioner Sniper [HP: 40/40 | AT: 33] x1 Camouflaged Tarp, x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 5/5)
x1 Dragon [HP: 50/62 | AT: 23] Aerial for 5 more turns, x1 Golden Ingot
x2 Really Creepy Angel Statue [HP: 27/27 | AT: 0?]
x2 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 53/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 33/53 | AT: 12]
x2 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 49/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 44/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 35/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Questioner Grenadier [HP: 38/38 | AP: 20/20 | AT: 27] Bleeding for 1 more turn, x1 Grenade launcher (Ammo: 2/2)
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 67/69 | AP: 34/34 | AT: 15]
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 53/69 | AP: 33/34 | AT: 15]
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 54/69 | AP: 19/34 | AT: 15]
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 69/69 | AP: 34/34 | AT: 15] x1 Margarita
Allies
x4 Silverfish [HP: 5/5 | AT: 1]
x1 Five Hundred Metal Sheet Golem [HP: 95/100 | AT: 1]
x1 Big Rock Golem [HP: 42/56 | AT: 3]
Players
Jgrissino - HP: 95/100 - MP: 0/50 - AP: 54/80 - Items in hand: x1 Ivory Wand, x1 +2 Sharp Longsword, x1 Chess Piece, x1 Backshell Footshell (AP: 13/30) x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flare Gun (Ammo: 0/1) x2 Bag (Contents: None) x1 Bat-Armor (AP: 44/50) x2 Bat Hide Bit, x3 Bit of Metal, x1 Laser Pointer, x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Machine (Fluid: 73%) x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Brick, x1 Orange Box, x1 Knife Sharpener - Spells: Build-a-Golem (10 MP)
Pokefan151 - HP: 64/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Picto Box, x1 Picture of a Possessed Blender, x1 Picture of Pokefan151, x1 Neon Sign, x1 Empty Can, x2 Umbrella, Enemy Bestiary, x1 T-Rex Claw, x1 Declawed T-Rex Arm, x1 Half Of A DVORAK Keyboard - Spells: Jumbo Shrimp (8 MP)
nulitor - HP: 1/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Prosthetic Leg, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
Scorpionius - HP: 91/100 - MP: 50/50 - AP: 5/5 - Items in hand: x1 Slashpuncharang, x1 Wrench, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Empty Jar, x2 Empty Glue Bottle, x1 Golden Gluer Handle, x1 Hedgehog Jacket, x1 Umbrella, x5 Gold Ring, x1 Flower Pot (AP: 5/5) x1 Deathmower (Charge: 100% | Ammo: (14/20) (15/20)) x1 Hot Dog Bun - Spells: None
BioShock_Rules - HP: 23/25 (Zombified for 1 more turn) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Ball Blammer Blaster (Ammo: 41/50) x1 Wrench, x1 Bat Hide-Wrapped Sharp Eldritch Butterknife (Souls: 2) x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 1/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Mediocre Brain, x1 Knife Sharpener, x1 Vial, Item Bestiary - Spells: None
Conn6464 - HP: 52/100 - MP: 40/50 - Items in hand: x1 FLOOT HALARIUOS XTREME FIAR ELICTRIK CHANMACHATIE!!, x1 Astral Spellbook, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Umbrella - Spells: Technobabble (2 MP) Electroshock (5 MP) Explodonate (20 MP)
Goomba98 - HP: 86/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Lightsaber, x1 Wrench, x1 Egg Carton (Contents: x12 Egg) x1 Flay-Douw, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flint, x2 Umbrella, x1 Sitrus Berry, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30)
x1 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x1 Minigun (Ammo: 20/20) x1 Fig Cookie, x1 Pair of Nunchucks, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Orange Box, x1 Charcoal, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 T-Rex Arm, x1 Potato, x1 Naval Mine - Spells: None
fseftr - HP: 37/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x4 Umbrella, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Vial of Antidote, Helm of Opposite Alignment (Charge: 5/5) - Spells: None
SmashAlphaX - HP: 16/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Willsheetpants, x1 Pants Kit, x4 Willow Shaving, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
The_Serpent - HP: 26/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Icicle With Dead Leaf Wrapped Around It, x1 Lemon-Pickled Suspicious-Looking Eye, x1 Cushion Animal, x1 Saddle, x1 Magnetic W, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Foil, x1 Umbrella, x1 Rag of Souls, x1 Artifact of Odin - Spells: None
ClockworkMouse - HP: 71/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
powie4444 - HP: 57/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
Creepershlap - HP: 0/100 (Sugar high for 4 more turns) (Water ballooned for 2 more turns) (Hands of burn for 1 more turn) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Leather Jacket, x4 Empty Can, x87 Corn on the Cob, x463 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x56 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30) x38 Pair of Nunchucks, x79 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x36 Empty Bottle - Spells: None
trogdor22 - HP: 72/100 (Stubble-free for 2 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Can of Grease, x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 0/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Jetpack (Fluid: 100%) x1 Supercharged Battery, x1 Super Shaver Razor Blader, x1 Orange Box, x1 Cardboard Portal Gun - Spells: None
SparkyWasabi - HP: 59/100 (Yellow-bellied for 3 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Knife, x2 Shard of Plus Sign, x1 Umbrella, x1 Wooden Beam, x1 Lawn Mower, x1 Stone Slab, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 15/30) x1 Yellow Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Empty Paint Can, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 Diary (Contents: x4 Picture of SparkyWasabi) - Spells: None
RowntheKorok - HP: 79/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Gold Ring, x1 Vial - Spells: None
TooManyItems
Rice Bowl
Striped Sweater
Jar of Sugar
Metal Rod
French Horn
Holy Bomb, Batman
Insta-Beard Hair Tonic (Fluid: 100%)
Orange Peeler
YouTube Comment
Blank Sylladex Card
Item Bestiary
Enemy Bestiary
Not really. Stormtroopers suck at shooting.
Notes
- Plot Coupons: 2
- Current Raw Battlefield Conditions: None
- Current Total Battlefield Conditions: None
Complipedia
I have a belt
It's name is Gelt
It's made out of pelt
A werewolf lord pelt
"Do we want to be the mediocre brimstone boy, or do we want to be the more-than-enough brimstone man?" - Northernlion
Check out my new game, Legends of Aekran!
When have I ever attacked an ally?
I pull the eyebeard off and shove it down Jgrissino's throat and consume a soul from my butterknife.
"Do we want to be the mediocre brimstone boy, or do we want to be the more-than-enough brimstone man?" - Northernlion
Check out my new game, Legends of Aekran!
You have attacked a silverfish, the big rock golem, and the 500 metal sheet golem. All allies. Anyway, i Slice bio's skull open with my sword, ending his "life". Then i eat a bowl of rice.
You literally give the sniper the hairy eyeball. It burns! Then you grab his sniper rifle, leaving him rifle-less.
You wear a striped sweater, because the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time. You take that other stuff, then grab a handful of sugar out of the jar and throw it in a dragon's eyes, and chuck the iron bar at its head for 13 damage. The bar falls on the ground and vanishes.
u mot m8?
u killd it, but ur teamkiling is fake an gay!!!!1!!!
You sit on the Deathmower, start it up, and jam the metal rod in one of the holes. The Deathmower makes some ugly noises, and the rod flies out in an explosion of smoke and nails a Stormtrooper in the gut for 12 damage.
You swoop into one of the Elite Stormtroopers. Spooky!
You blind him, and then chow down on a bowl for rice, but which does not contain rice in itself. You get some splinters in your esophagus for 5 damage.
You do that, then skin the Grenadier's delicious orange peel, or perhaps head scalp for 14 damage.
You immediately begin shaking, shaking, shaking. You shake it off, though. Shake it off.
You summon a huge shrimp! You try to eat some rice, but there's none around.
Like, a lot.
You pull off the beard, but almost completely destroy your eyes in the process. Then you force Jgrissino to eat it, thoroughly sickening him. You consume another butterknife soul, replenishing your zombification.
You beckon the grenadier over while sitting on the prone mower, then slam your rod into his face for 12 damage.
12 damage! You consume another bowl, but of wood.
It's the eye of the ban, rising up to the challenge of team killing!
Hostiles: The Questioner Sniper shoots the 500MSG for 34 damage! The other sniper runs around screaming and pulling at his eye beard! The Dragon flies around blindly! The Angel Statues do nothing... The Elite Stormtroopers all fire at the Huge Shrimp, the 500MSG, the Big Rock Golem, Goomba98, trogdor22, SparkyWasabi, fseftr, and Goomba98 again, and all miss! The Questioner Grenadier fires his last grenade at nulitor, but misses and hits SmashAlphaX instead, killing him! The Sleazy Skeletons attack SparkyWasabi, nulitor, and the Big Rock Golem for 16 damage, 16 damage, and a miss, killing nulitor! The last skeleton drinks its margarita!
Allies: The Silverfish attack an Elite Stormtrooper for 4 damage! The 500MSG consumes a metal rod, regaining 10 health! The Big Rock Golem attacks an Elite Stormtrooper for 3 damage! The Huge Shrimp lays an egg!
Events: The Questioner Grenadier takes 11 damage from bleeding! Creepershlap takes 23 damage from burns, not that it really matters anymore! TooManyItems is updated!
Wave 4
x1 Questioner Sniper [HP: 40/40 | AT: 33] x1 Camouflaged Tarp, x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 4/5)
x1 Questioner Sniper [HP: 40/40 | AT: 33] Hairy eyeballed for 7 more turns, x1 Camouflaged Tarp
x1 Dragon [HP: 37/62 | AT: 23] Aerial for 4 more turns, blinded for 2 more turns, x1 Golden Ingot
x2 Really Creepy Angel Statue [HP: 27/27 | AT: 0?]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 53/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 50/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 33/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 49/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 45/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 32/53 | AT: 12] Possessed by Creepershlap for 3 more turns
x1 Elite Stormtrooper [HP: 35/53 | AT: 12]
x1 Questioner Grenadier [HP: 13/38 | AP: 20/20 | AT: 27] x1 Grenade Launcher (Ammo: 0/2)
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 67/69 | AP: 34/34 | AT: 15]
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 53/69 | AP: 33/34 | AT: 15]
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 54/69 | AP: 19/34 | AT: 15]
x1 Sleazy Skeleton [HP: 69/69 | AP: 34/34 | AT: 15] Drunk for 3 more turns
Allies
x3 Silverfish [HP: 5/5 | AT: 1]
x1 Five Hundred Metal Sheet Golem [HP: 71/100 | AT: 1]
x1 Big Rock Golem [HP: 42/56 | AT: 3]
x1 Huge Shrimp [HP: 43/43 | AT: 8] x1 Shrimp Caviar
Players
Jgrissino - HP: 90/100 - MP: 2/50 - AP: 54/80 - Items in hand: x1 Ivory Wand, x1 +2 Sharp Longsword, x1 Chess Piece, x1 Backshell Footshell (AP: 13/30) x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flare Gun (Ammo: 0/1) x2 Bag (Contents: None) x1 Bat-Armor (AP: 44/50) x2 Bat Hide Bit, x3 Bit of Metal, x1 Laser Pointer, x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Machine (Fluid: 73%) x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Brick, x1 Orange Box, x1 Knife Sharpener, x1 Insta-Beard Hair Tonic (Fluid: 53%) x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 5/5) - Spells: Build-a-Golem (10 MP)
Pokefan151 - HP: 64/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Picto Box, x1 Picture of a Possessed Blender, x1 Picture of Pokefan151, x1 Neon Sign, x1 Empty Can, x2 Umbrella, Enemy Bestiary, x1 T-Rex Claw, x1 Declawed T-Rex Arm, x1 Half Of A DVORAK Keyboard - Spells: Jumbo Shrimp (8 MP)
nulitor - HP: 0/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Prosthetic Leg, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
Scorpionius - HP: 91/100 - MP: 50/50 - AP: 5/5 - Items in hand: x1 Slashpuncharang, x1 Wrench, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Empty Jar, x2 Empty Glue Bottle, x1 Golden Gluer Handle, x1 Hedgehog Jacket, x1 Umbrella, x5 Gold Ring, x1 Flower Pot (AP: 5/5) x1 Deathmower (Charge: 100% | Ammo: (14/20) (15/20)) x1 Hot Dog Bun - Spells: None
BioShock_Rules - HP: 86/100 (Zombified for 4 more turns) (Blind for 16 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Ball Blammer Blaster (Ammo: 41/50) x1 Wrench, x1 Bat Hide-Wrapped Sharp Eldritch Butterknife (Souls: 1) x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 1/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Mediocre Brain, x1 Knife Sharpener, x1 Vial, Item Bestiary, x1 YouTube Comment - Spells: None
Conn6464 - HP: 52/100 - MP: 42/50 - Items in hand: x1 FLOOT HALARIUOS XTREME FIAR ELICTRIK CHANMACHATIE!!, x1 Astral Spellbook, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Umbrella - Spells: Technobabble (2 MP) Electroshock (5 MP) Explodonate (20 MP)
Goomba98 - HP: 86/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Lightsaber, x1 Wrench, x1 Egg Carton (Contents: x12 Egg) x1 Flay-Douw, x1 Roll of Tape, x1 Flint, x2 Umbrella, x1 Sitrus Berry, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30)
x1 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x1 Minigun (Ammo: 20/20) x1 Fig Cookie, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Orange Box, x1 Charcoal, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 T-Rex Arm, x1 Potato, x1 Naval Mine, x1 French Horn, x1 Holy Bomb, Batman, x1 Orange Peeler, x1 YouTube Comment, x1 Sylladex Card (Contents: x1 Pair of Nunchucks) x1 Scalp - Spells: None
fseftr - HP: 37/100 (Sugar high for 4 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x4 Umbrella, x1 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x1 Vial of Antidote, Helm of Opposite Alignment (Charge: 5/5) - Spells: None
SmashAlphaX - HP: 0/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Willsheetpants, x1 Pants Kit, x4 Willow Shaving, x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
The_Serpent - HP: 26/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Icicle With Dead Leaf Wrapped Around It, x1 Lemon-Pickled Suspicious-Looking Eye, x1 Cushion Animal, x1 Saddle, x1 Magnetic W, x1 Juiced Lemon, x1 Foil, x1 Umbrella, x1 Rag of Souls, x1 Artifact of Odin - Spells: None
ClockworkMouse - HP: 71/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
powie4444 - HP: 57/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Umbrella - Spells: None
Creepershlap - HP: 0/100 (Sugar high for 3 more turns) (Water ballooned for 1 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Leather Jacket, x4 Empty Can, x87 Corn on the Cob, x463 Soda Bottle (Fluid: 100%) x56 Expensive Camera (Charge: 30/30) x38 Pair of Nunchucks, x79 Magic Wand (Telekinesis (5 MP) Indigo Ray (1 MP)) x36 Empty Bottle - Spells: None
trogdor22 - HP: 72/100 (Stubble-free for 2 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Can of Grease, x1 Sniper Rifle (Ammo: 0/3) x1 Umbrella, x1 Bubble Jetpack (Fluid: 100%) x1 Supercharged Battery, x1 Super Shaver Razor Blader, x1 Orange Box, x1 Cardboard Portal Gun - Spells: None
SparkyWasabi - HP: 43/100 (Yellow-bellied for 2 more turns) - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Knife, x2 Shard of Plus Sign, x1 Umbrella, x1 Wooden Beam, x1 Lawn Mower, x1 Stone Slab, x1 Expensive Camera (Charge: 15/30) x1 Yellow Crossbow (Ammo: 0/1) x1 Empty Paint Can, x1 Redstone Torch, x1 Diary (Contents: x4 Picture of SparkyWasabi) x1 Striped Sweater, x1 Jar of Sugar (85% full) - Spells: None
RowntheKorok - HP: 79/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: x1 Gold Ring, x1 Vial - Spells: None
FullMetalAlchemy_101 - HP: 100/100 - MP: 50/50 - Items in hand: None - Spells: None
TooManyItems
Jewelry Pliers
Cup of Overpriced Coffee
Boots of Hydrophobia
Vial of Blood
Hippo Egg
Cluster Bomb
Floating Gravel
Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant HouseTM Bag of Popcorn
Name Tag
Item Bestiary
Enemy Bestiary
Not really. Stormtroopers suck at shooting.
Notes
- Plot Coupons: 2
- Current Raw Battlefield Conditions: None
- Current Total Battlefield Conditions: None
Complipedia
I attempt to douse the Frobozz Real-Estate Company Instant HouseTM with the Cup of Overpriced Coffee, then bring it near the Boots of Hydrophobia to launch it at the nearest enemy before it House-ifies on them.
"Do we want to be the mediocre brimstone boy, or do we want to be the more-than-enough brimstone man?" - Northernlion
Check out my new game, Legends of Aekran!