I use the portal gun to portal chuck norris and your pokemon away from the hill. I then shrink you to the height of 1 inch tall. I then use the portal gun, to teleport you above Miranda Lawson, where you fall down into her suit, and get stuck at her butt.
I sneak up from behind what I think is mob_mauler (I'm immune to transformations, remember?) but instead I find a monkey thing...I lure him off with crates of bananas and rest on top of what is now...
I build a Trojan hill and fill it with creepers. You take the hill as a present, but at night, it's creeper time! My creepers are attacking your guards while you were sleeping and when you wake up you see that half of your hill is missing. Suddenly, the creeper king is coming and you escape the hill. But- the creeper king was actually a TROJAN creeper king. I jump out of his mouth and I use my Trojan hill to fix the hill, then I kill the remaining creepers for gunpowder. I create some TNT cannons with it and then I go to sleep, but I have a REAL creeper king to guard the hill.
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Click it. Now.
Click the egg, not the spoiler. It's not THAT complicated.
Since I am a monkey god, I just rip out two hairs from my head and breathe life into them. The first forms into a new hill (where is it placed, you might ask? easy - you're not supposed to know). The second one becomes a humble pie which is force-fed to DrNOMNOM. Nom on that, bonzo!