Garfield uses Inter-Dimensional Hyper Fire to incinerate both the mail and chips without burning down the house in the process.
I make a tiny and silent helicopter with cloaking capabilities and shrink the mail down to fit in it before letting it fly in and deliver the mail to a drawer in Jon’s desk before returning the mail to normal.
garfield and some of his friends happen to be playing SBURB and he destroys his cruxite item before the drone gets into the house, *cue the house and part of its soroundings (but not the drone) dissapearing into paradox space*
I give the mail to river song and write the words "Hello Sweetie" in Gallifreyan on the walls of the house using a laser cutter, causing her to spontaniously appear there, at witch point she hands it to Jon
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GENERATION 23: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation.