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I survive with 1 HP after Fatigue due to having 1000000001 HP. I then use the Miner’s Power Hero Power, discover a Reno Jackson and a Paladin Secret, then play both of them. You deal that same amount of damage again, and YOU get blasted in the face with 999999999 damage due to the Paladin Secret, which just so happened to be Eye For An Eye.

/data set %nextposter {health:0.0f}

I change my entity name right before you execute the command.

Entity name "%nextposter" is invalid

Selector "%nextposter" found nothing

/kill Connor_Miner

Connor_Miner fell out of the world

I use a badminton racket to launch an explosive shuttlecock at the next poster, and no, it doesn't explode when I shoot it.

I pull out my Strange Dragon's Fury, and airblast the shuttlecock back to you, and thanks to the fair and balanced system of random critical hits, the explosive becomes a random crit.

...

W+M1

My magic flames overpower yours.

I use /smite.

Idelac was struck by lightning from Idelac

...looks like someone forgot to input the parameters for that command...

I summon a Creeper Creeper that Creepers a Creeper so that I can Creeper while I Creeper. By the way, the Creeper that was Creepered was behind the next poster.

Too much creeperception. I exploit the laws of -ception to delete you and your would-be creeper shockwave.

I get in the Baller and run down the next poster.

I quickly put on a Steel Mario Cap, turning me into pure steel for a few moments and popping your Baller.

I then proceed to bodyslam you into a brick wall.

I throw a Holy Grenade at the next poster, saying sports commentator lines while doing so.

I build a meat castle starting with a tower around you as you throw the grenade, making it hit you instead.

I pull out the Gold PP7 from Goldeneye and shoot all seven rounds at once.

I’m not sure if that counts as a counter (though in context it might), so I’ll do a double-counter.

Quote from Idelac»

I get in the Baller and run down the next poster.

OH WAIT THAT’S A- *Idelac flys down, past, and off the edge* ...ramp....

Quote from MishaPlayer»

I throw a Holy Grenade at the next poster, saying sports commentator lines while doing so.

“He ducked under the grenade, and the Bounce Pads are sending it up into the terrain above, sending it down onto Player_Miner, dealing some damage but it bounces off and falls under the map and is bounced below the map and up onto the other side...”

“HALELUJAH!”

“...where it’s stopped mo-“

*BOOM*

MishaPlayer went out with a BANG!

Also, because I was ninja’d...

Quote from CraigTheCool»

I pull out the Gold PP7 from Goldeneye and shoot all seven rounds at once.

Two words: Hylian. Shield. *BINK!*

I set the Gravity setting to Asteroid as the next poster is about to jump. I make sure I can’t die of position swapping by equipping a Space Suit module and a Jetpack beforehand.

Apparently before the whole thing was set up I drank a Strength 255 Potion. I chuck the asteroid at you with minimal effort.

I grab a ridiculously big stamper and stamp the next poster.

You forgot to pay the few cents to buy stamps, and I trap you in an envelope.

I punch the next poster really hard. Like, really hard.

I simply make myself as hard as rock causing you to break every bone in your body.

I banish the next user into the mind-scape.

What you fail to realize is that you and I were in my Time Travel Capsule, and due to plot convenience and a lazy writer, the TT Capsule flies into the mind-scape with no way out.

The moment we crash-land, I activate the self destruct sequence on the TARDIS, double lock the doors and swallow the key, dooming you and I to death in a deadly place.

...

But you still died and I killed you, haha.

I pull out a deatomizer, and fire at the next poster.

I place a wall of blocks and teleport away, and let you succumb to the blast caused by a fault in the specific device’s circuitry.

I set the Gravity setting to 0 as the next poster jumps. I make sure to put on a space suit in case the atmosphere drifts away and I die of asphyxiation due to the vacuum of space.

To your dismay, I just end up hovering around, I don't go flying into space like you expected me to. Plus, the atmosphere doesn't drift away. I use /clear Connor_Miner, I manage to build a platform for my feet to land on (It's on top of me, mind you), then I set Gravity to -1 to actually make you fly away. I end up landing on the platform I built.

I chuck a Bob-omb at the next poster, whose damage output is at 999.9%, and no, it's impossible for you to reflect/teleport/etc. the Bob-omb to me.

I can’t let the bomb hit me, nor can I bounce it back, use portals, or teleport it. How do I deal with this situation? Catch the bomb and throw it right back at him, DUH! If you can’t change the trajectory of the toss, terminate it and start a new one!

I do an awesome bullet dodging technique to avoid the shots that were supposed to make a route impassible. The next poster becomes jealous and tries to do the same.

I use a bunch of modified mirrors to redirect the bullets at you, and you die due to you not having enough time to react.

I yell "IT'S OVER 9000!!" at the next poster so loud they explode from the meme-y overdose.

I summon Uganda Knuckles and Moth to take the hit for me.

I remove all the oxygen from the next poster's atmosphere

CraigTheCool died from a lack of oxygen

...you REALLY didn’t think that through, did you? *is wearing a spacesuit module*

I turn the next poster into a chicken, capture them, and stuff them into a furnace.

Apparently, the Morph Mod (Or however you say it) was implemented. I morph back into Idelac, which causes the furnace to explode from me growing inside of it, and you die from the blast radius. Spontaneously, I survive.

I unleash an earthquake on the next poster, and the earthquake and all events triggered by it cannot hurt me. Don't even think about chucking me into a sinkhole, because the earthquake caused it, and I would take no damage from falling.