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I had a voodoo doll of the poster above when I was chucked into the lava, so they went up in flames with me.

I throw the next poster inside of an iron maiden and shut the doors.

Well... This just got dark. DARK AGES!!!!!

Either way, unbeknownst to you, I was wearing chain mail underneath my jacket. After exhaling as much air as possible (for wiggle room) I wait for you to close the door long enough for me to have died. I the burst out and shove you inside. Regretfully, you didn’t have the foresight to wear armor.

Keeping this medieval theme going, wielding a lance on horseback, I run the next poster through, after disabling any and all abilities they might have. (I greased the lance, so don’t try to grab onto it)

(dammit, you posted when i posted. uhhh...)

I pull out my dagger and stab you in the chest as you pass by, killing us both.

I shoot the next poster with a 28mm revolver. (And I sprain my wrist while doing so one-handed. Ouch.)

I was wearing a bulletproof vest while the poster above was shooting at me. Doesn't really seem like I need to do anything to counter that though, because, like they said, they sprained their wrist while doing so one-handed. I see this as the perfect opportunity to grab their gun and shoot them with it.

I punch the next poster in the chest as hard as possible.

Edit: As algot120 pointed out, the original version of this post did not actually say that I killed the poster above. Hopefully this revised version should do.

You did not specify which chest, so you punched a locked chest. Sadly, the only loot it had was your badly injured hand.

I slash the poster with a katana.

I use a 'no u' card as a counter to no actual kill, because you were an idiot and didn't actually try to kill the next poster, which was me.

I hit the next poster with a metal bat.

I chuck a Home-Run Bat, and apparently your damage output was 999.9%. You go flying out of the park.

I report the next poster, who is confirmed a hacker.

I was confirmed hacking, but not before I used one of the client's features to make it look like you were hacking too.

I use a disintegrate-inator on the next poster, turning them to dust.

*MishaPlayer gets disintegrated* “I- Uhh... think you might have forgotten about something..?” *the protective glass wall was made out of a type of glass which bounces back the disintegrate-inator’s beams*

Oh, and I have an idea for how to fully counter Idelac’s attack.

Not only was the report auto-confirmed by you, it was also spliced all over the place to give the impression of hacking. Another admin notices this, and you not only have your admin privileges revoked, you have your privilege to play on the server revoked when they report you for it and the head admin takes action.

I use a Proxy Slimesling on the next poster.

Whatever you shoot using the Proxy Slimesling, I bust out the Old Reliable. (I'm talking about a certain side-special)

I lock the next poster in a jail cell with literally no means of escape available.

That's not really a kill unless I starve, but... Okay.

You forgot to take any of my personal items, and I call the police and my family, telling them that you are holding me against my will.

You and the police probably have a gunfight or whatever which gets you killed, and me rescued.

I fire a cannon at the next poster.

*presses R+Down at the right time* Oh no, it was too strong! *cannonball partially orbits the planet and smashes into the attacker and explodes violently*

“Who designs cannonballs such that they explode on contact with anything besides air after firing?! Isn’t it excessive and/or outclassed by artillery shots?!”

I use a Proxy Slimesling on the next poster without a random Creeper getting in the way to be the projectile instead of the intended target.

I bust out the you-know-what.

I blast the next poster with the Rainmaker.

I hide in my own ink, and crush you with a paintbrush.

(no knowledge of splatoon, don't know if it's even the gold fish thing from splatoon.)

(no attack because i was tired and somebody already posted, sorry...)

You get accused of being a witch before you can convince anyone to lynch me. You try to claim I’m a witch to get me killed instead, but since they never saw me thanks to me invisibility cloak that I looted from a dungeon in The Aether, AND the name you use sounds ridiculous to them, they call you a liar and lynch you.

I throw “smart dust” on the next poster. ...and by “smart dust” I mean a lot of microscopic mass-absorbing mining drones. Don’t worry, they passed safety tests such that they won’t kill people they aren’t supposed to, I just added them, and only them, to the whitelist of “mineable” life-forms.

I pull you into Pocoyo's Mad Mix Machine with me, and we both get registered as the same lifeform, and we are mined by the smart dust drones.

I jump onto the next poster, forcing them towards a bottomless pit and jumping off of them as they fall to their doom.

(The bottomless pit is from Super Mario Brothers.)

Two words: Grappling hook.

(To put it another way, I used the grappling hook to pull you towards me, then I jumped off of you as a footstool to jump out of the pit while you fall to your death.)

In a match of Splatoon Tower Control, the next poster is on the tower. I snipe them with my Splat Charger.

As you lock on, you barely miss someone coming after you with Dual Splat Pistols. They delete you whilst, in a panic, you shoot prematurely and fail to kill me. The tower makes it to the end whilst everyone on your team is relentlessly farmed to the point of being unable to do much of anything by the other members of my team.

I send a human-like robot girl to complete the quest assignment on the town’s quest board. That quest assignment is, of course to capture you and turn you in to be executed if possible. If capture isn’t possible, credit is still granted for killing the target. Don’t try hacking, as you’ll run into incessant obstacles to the hack.

I send a human-like robot boy to flirt with the robot girl, which succeeds.

The robot boy convinces your robot to kill you.

I slap the next poster so hard, it smears them across several dimensions.

The slap was strong enough to set my damage output to 300.0%. However, there was this Launch Star that was conveniently-placed, and I go flying into you, which sets your damage output to 999.9%, and you go flying across the blast line.

I force the next poster to lose in Spleef, and they get executed for it.