Rolled a 5!
You just remembered you had a hornet ring on your finger, so you ran behind Xonnin and stabbed him in his spine, flipping him over like Spongebob would Flip over a Krabby Patty, dealing him 22 HP of damage!
Rolled a 2.
The AU Gun jammed for a second, and you say "Why isn't this piece of trash working?" while slapping it against your leg. Suddenly, it fires, shooting your foot in the process. Ouch! You lost 1 HP!
Xonnin decapitates LifeAsARoyalRanger with his sword with 3 HP of damage, a clean cut.F FOR EFFORT! Abort, Retry, Ignore?
FIGHT!
Super Xonnin (BOSS #2, Phase 2)
"Super Xonnin is the result of his brother, Xannu, dying. He is one deadly skeleton, and he won't just slice and dice anymore."
65/100 XONNIN HP 2-4 XONNIN ATK (Attacks Every Turn)
Our Heroes
LifeAsRoyalRanger
♡♡♡- DEAD
GoldHero101
♥♥♥ - 3/3 HP
🛡🛡🛡 - 3/3 SLD
UltraCraftGames
♥♥♡ - 2/3 HP
Pepe, Lord of Memes
♥♥♥ - 4/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
To any of you new adventurers, this isn't a serious game. You can instantly die depending on how bad your roll is, that's just how it is.
I loop around the skeleton and back stab him. It's easy. And it does lots of damage.
Rolled a 1.
You looped around the back of Xonnin, but a huge rock from the poorly made ceiling fell onto your shield, breaking the shield and all 3 SLD in the process. Luckily, the rock bounced off of the shield and onto the floor. You got scared about what could've happened had the shield not existed, so you drop your knife and retreat.
Rolled a 2.
The "High Tech Plasma Cannon" was actually a "Shock The User V3" Gun, and it electrified you for quite some time. The sting was powerful, as you took 1 HP of damage.
A blacksmith thinks "Hmm, that knife could be useful..."
*the blacksmith attempts to reforge LARR's body.*
Rolled a 3.
"Ah, bugger! I screwed up the pieces! Ah, let's try this again." says the Blacksmith in hell.
Pepe, Lord of Memes throws a bladed 4-leaf clover boomerang at Xonnin for 3 HP of damage.
Xonnin jumps in the air, and uses a Ghaster Blaster to incinerate UltraCraftGames for 3 HP, burning him alive, and finally turning him into ashes.Your death was LIT! Revive?
FIGHT!
Super Xonnin (BOSS #2, Phase 2)
"Super Xonnin is the result of his brother, Xannu, dying. He is one deadly skeleton, and he won't just slice and dice anymore."
62/100 XONNIN HP 2-4 XONNIN ATK (Attacks Every Turn)
Our Heroes
LifeAsRoyalRanger
♡♡♡- DEAD
GoldHero101
♥♥♥ - 3/3 HP
UltraCraftGames
♡♡♡- DEAD
Pepe, Lord of Memes
♥♥♥ - 4/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
Tip: If you want an ally to do more damage than it usually does, just order it to attack. Two dice will be rolled, one for you, and one for said ally.
Rolled a 4.
Using your dark magic skilled you remember years ago, you cast a huge blue flame under Xonnin, expecting him to be incinerated, but instead, it tears his feet off. Xonnin puts his feet back on, despite them hurting. -24 HP to Xonnin.
The blacksmith has found new materials to reforge that knife, he isn't sure if it'll work, but he'll give it a try.
*The blacksmith attempts to reforge LARR again"
Rolled a 2.
"Yarrrgh, why isn't this working? I've gotten more materials to reforge this knife. Ah well, I'll just keep trying until I succeed."
Pepe, Lord of Memes throws a chicken bone at Xonnin for 3 HP of damage.
Xonnin looks over at O5Fourteen, and sets him on fire, just like he did with Xonnin. He suffers from uncontrollable pain, burning down to the ground, and getting cremated for 3 HP of damage.000, what's your emergency? Someone got ROASTED! Okay, we'll be right there to revive if we can.
FIGHT!
Super Xonnin (BOSS #2, Phase 2)
"Super Xonnin is the result of his brother, Xannu, dying. He is one deadly skeleton, and he won't just slice and dice anymore."
35/100 XONNIN HP 2-4 XONNIN ATK (Attacks Every Turn)
A figure with the appearance of the Grim Reaper crossed with a mob boss stares at me. "I'm making you an offer you can't refuse, see? Do what I say or your soul gets it, see?"
...
Some time later, I launch myself out of the Underworld with a catapult.
Maybe it's because the blacksmith is working on a rough ground and not with proper tools. Lucky for him, he's found a anvil a bit later. He gathers a few more materials and tries to reforge the knife again.
Rolled a 5!
Although you wish you had nukes, or even the amount of what you said, you still had a bomb that was able to split into atomshrapnels the size of what you said, being able to tear things to shreds. You gotta do what you gotta do. FINISH XONNIN! You come up to Xonnin, and lodge the bomb into his ribcage.
UltraCraftGames: Any last words, Punk? Xonnin: Just a few... MY MASTER WILL END YO-
-35 HP!!!
You examine the remains of Xonnin, and find an Orange Heart Container underneath his skull. You absorb the power with the rest of your team, and it revives any dead team members, and adds +3 Permanent HP!
A figure with the appearance of the Grim Reaper crossed with a mob boss stares at me. "I'm making you an offer you can't refuse, see? Do what I say or your soul gets it, see?"
...
Some time later, I launch myself out of the Underworld with a catapult.
Maybe it's because the blacksmith is working on a rough ground and not with proper tools. Lucky for him, he's found a anvil a bit later. He gathers a few more materials and tries to reforge the knife again.
You people are revived from the Orange Heart Container, Get up!
You descend into the next set of levels of the fort. Apparently, you're in Limbo now. The room smells like a fast food restaurant, despite the fact it's located inside a giant fort that goes underground. You hear a distant voice ahead of you. It's a voice from a throne, no wonder why this place smelled like a fast food restaurant!
FIGHT!
The Burger King
"King of a fast food restaurant chain, and an enemy of an unknown Clown, he can't do much damage, but don't underestimate him. He can use combo attacks to damage not just one, but two people. He is also known for fattening the U.S. population, as well as his enemy, an Unknown Clown."
I begin with a fresh Protect cast. It will affect the entire party, because, you know, FF14 logic! It's also apparently free mana wise and you can recast anytime. Huh.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
His world shalt be entered on the day of legends.
Current avatar: Imp from Media Molecule's own Dreams
I begin with a fresh Protect cast. It will affect the entire party, because, you know, FF14 logic! It's also apparently free mana wise and you can recast anytime. Huh.
Rolled a 5.
You cast a shield that will protect the entire party. Apparently, it wasn't so much of a shield, as it was a resistance spell that halved the damage done to everybody by The Burger King. It will wear off in 3 turns, including this one, that makes 2.
Rolled a 2.
The knife you picked up was a double sided blade, and you cut yourself in the leg while attempting to stab The Burger King. The resistance spell doesn't cover screw-ups though, as you still took 2 HP of damage. Yes, that's right. 2 HP. Bad Rolls now scale with HP.
i fire 91001909090909090 bullets from the AU gun at him
Rolled a 5!
Although you still wish you had that much ammo, you managed to find some charged bullets, and you fire them at The Burger King. -34 HP to The Burger King.
The Burger King Karate Chops both Pepe, Lord of Memes, and LifeAsRoyalRanger, but only does 1.25 HP of damage to them because of the resistance spell.
FIGHT!
The Burger King
"King of a fast food restaurant chain, and an enemy of an unknown Clown, he can't do much damage, but don't underestimate him. He can use combo attacks to damage not just one, but two people. He is also known for fattening the U.S. population, as well as his enemy, an Unknown Clown."
Considering i'm not a person anymore yet i can hurt myself with a physical knife, i will attempt to manifest my power into helping those blue-robed cultists over there re-create their master in whole.
i absorb a celesital guardian and strike my enemy with the power of this godlike being
Rolled a 6!!!
Apparently you absorbed a little too much starpower from the celestial guardian you absorbed, and you unleash all of your powers on The Burger King, tearing off his legs, and launching him up by at least 12 feet in the air. He falls down to the ground, and uses hamburger magic to reconnect his legs. -87 HP to The Burger King, and as a result of you carrying out so much energy, your hands are burned with a molten mark, dealing you 2 HP of damage.
I load myself into the catapult and launch myself at the Burger King.
Rolled a 1.
You ended up launching yourself into a pool of boiling vegetable oil instead of the Burger King. Your skin gets boiled up, making you deep fried. Luckily, you were able to escape with 4 HP shaved off of you.
I dunk Burger KIng in a vat of Ye Olde Fryinge Oile.
Rolled a 5!
You push The Burger King into the boiling pot of vegetable oil that O5Fourteen was once in, causing his skin to scab up and deep fry as well. -38 HP.
Considering i'm not a person anymore yet i can hurt myself with a physical knife, i will attempt to manifest my power into helping those blue-robed cultists over there re-create their master in whole.
Rolled a 6.
Together with the Lunatic Devotes, you summon the Lunatic Cultist from the Mysterious Tablet. You have gained an extra ally.
Rolled a 4.
You remember learning a spell from a specific game, and you casted Firaga. -27 HP to The Burger King, killing him in a fiery death.
YOU WON!
You and your fellow heroes go into the next room. You go into a strange forest-like land, despite the fact it's underground. Is that a...?
It is...
It's a Dogoo and a Boxer-X.
FIGHT!
Dogoo and Boxer-X
"Enemies from a land of anime girls, Dogoo is quite weak, while Boxer-X packs quite a punch."
Rolled a 5!
You just remembered you had a hornet ring on your finger, so you ran behind Xonnin and stabbed him in his spine, flipping him over like Spongebob would Flip over a Krabby Patty, dealing him 22 HP of damage!
Rolled a 2.
The AU Gun jammed for a second, and you say "Why isn't this piece of trash working?" while slapping it against your leg. Suddenly, it fires, shooting your foot in the process. Ouch! You lost 1 HP!
Xonnin decapitates LifeAsARoyalRanger with his sword with 3 HP of damage, a clean cut. F FOR EFFORT! Abort, Retry, Ignore?
2-4 XONNIN ATK (Attacks Every Turn)
♥♥♥ - 4/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
I loop around the skeleton and back stab him. It's easy. And it does lots of damage.
His world shalt be entered on the day of legends.
Current avatar: Imp from Media Molecule's own Dreams
#TeamRowlet #TeamSun
FF14: Gold Zephzellian World: Zalera
My Characters
Hi! This is me, hello!
I'm Vevos! HIS INNER DEMON.
Get out! I'm Alice!
Hey! I'm Draco!
Please help my Pokemon grow: http://pfq.me/GoldHero101
A blacksmith thinks "Hmm, that knife could be useful..."
*the blacksmith attempts to reforge LARR's body.*
What again?
Rolled a 1.
You looped around the back of Xonnin, but a huge rock from the poorly made ceiling fell onto your shield, breaking the shield and all 3 SLD in the process. Luckily, the rock bounced off of the shield and onto the floor. You got scared about what could've happened had the shield not existed, so you drop your knife and retreat.
Rolled a 2.
The "High Tech Plasma Cannon" was actually a "Shock The User V3" Gun, and it electrified you for quite some time. The sting was powerful, as you took 1 HP of damage.
Rolled a 3.
"Ah, bugger! I screwed up the pieces! Ah, let's try this again." says the Blacksmith in hell.
Pepe, Lord of Memes throws a bladed 4-leaf clover boomerang at Xonnin for 3 HP of damage.
Xonnin jumps in the air, and uses a Ghaster Blaster to incinerate UltraCraftGames for 3 HP, burning him alive, and finally turning him into ashes. Your death was LIT! Revive?
2-4 XONNIN ATK (Attacks Every Turn)
♥♥♥ - 4/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
I cremate Xonnin.
I recast the shield on myself.
His world shalt be entered on the day of legends.
Current avatar: Imp from Media Molecule's own Dreams
#TeamRowlet #TeamSun
FF14: Gold Zephzellian World: Zalera
My Characters
Hi! This is me, hello!
I'm Vevos! HIS INNER DEMON.
Get out! I'm Alice!
Hey! I'm Draco!
Please help my Pokemon grow: http://pfq.me/GoldHero101
The blacksmith has found new materials to reforge that knife, he isn't sure if it'll work, but he'll give it a try.
*The blacksmith attempts to reforge LARR again"
What again?
Rolled a 4.
Using your dark magic skilled you remember years ago, you cast a huge blue flame under Xonnin, expecting him to be incinerated, but instead, it tears his feet off. Xonnin puts his feet back on, despite them hurting. -24 HP to Xonnin.
Rolled a 4.
The Old Gods managed to find every single bit of ashes you remain, and they managed to rebuild you in perfect condition! Get up!
Rolled a 2.
You're out of power to make a shield. Maybe try again?
Rolled a 2.
"Yarrrgh, why isn't this working? I've gotten more materials to reforge this knife. Ah well, I'll just keep trying until I succeed."
Pepe, Lord of Memes throws a chicken bone at Xonnin for 3 HP of damage.
Xonnin looks over at O5Fourteen, and sets him on fire, just like he did with Xonnin. He suffers from uncontrollable pain, burning down to the ground, and getting cremated for 3 HP of damage. 000, what's your emergency? Someone got ROASTED! Okay, we'll be right there to revive if we can.
2-4 XONNIN ATK (Attacks Every Turn)
♥♥♥ - 4/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
A figure with the appearance of the Grim Reaper crossed with a mob boss stares at me. "I'm making you an offer you can't refuse, see? Do what I say or your soul gets it, see?"
...
Some time later, I launch myself out of the Underworld with a catapult.
Maybe it's because the blacksmith is working on a rough ground and not with proper tools. Lucky for him, he's found a anvil a bit later. He gathers a few more materials and tries to reforge the knife again.
What again?
Although you wish you had nukes, or even the amount of what you said, you still had a bomb that was able to split into atomshrapnels the size of what you said, being able to tear things to shreds. You gotta do what you gotta do. FINISH XONNIN! You come up to Xonnin, and lodge the bomb into his ribcage.
Xonnin: Just a few... MY MASTER WILL END YO-
You examine the remains of Xonnin, and find an Orange Heart Container underneath his skull. You absorb the power with the rest of your team, and it revives any dead team members, and adds +3 Permanent HP!
You people are revived from the Orange Heart Container, Get up!
You descend into the next set of levels of the fort. Apparently, you're in Limbo now. The room smells like a fast food restaurant, despite the fact it's located inside a giant fort that goes underground. You hear a distant voice ahead of you. It's a voice from a throne, no wonder why this place smelled like a fast food restaurant!
♥♥♥ - 10/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
I begin with a fresh Protect cast. It will affect the entire party, because, you know, FF14 logic! It's also apparently free mana wise and you can recast anytime. Huh.
His world shalt be entered on the day of legends.
Current avatar: Imp from Media Molecule's own Dreams
#TeamRowlet #TeamSun
FF14: Gold Zephzellian World: Zalera
My Characters
Hi! This is me, hello!
I'm Vevos! HIS INNER DEMON.
Get out! I'm Alice!
Hey! I'm Draco!
Please help my Pokemon grow: http://pfq.me/GoldHero101
I smash the Burger King with a catapult.
I shall commence a multi-stab.
What again?
Rolled a 5.
You cast a shield that will protect the entire party. Apparently, it wasn't so much of a shield, as it was a resistance spell that halved the damage done to everybody by The Burger King. It will wear off in 3 turns, including this one, that makes 2.
Rolled a 3.
You literally try to lift up the catapult to whack him with, but the catapult is far too heavy for you to carry.
Rolled a 2.
The knife you picked up was a double sided blade, and you cut yourself in the leg while attempting to stab The Burger King. The resistance spell doesn't cover screw-ups though, as you still took 2 HP of damage. Yes, that's right. 2 HP. Bad Rolls now scale with HP.
Rolled a 5!
Although you still wish you had that much ammo, you managed to find some charged bullets, and you fire them at The Burger King. -34 HP to The Burger King.
The Burger King Karate Chops both Pepe, Lord of Memes, and LifeAsRoyalRanger, but only does 1.25 HP of damage to them because of the resistance spell.
♥♥❣ - 8.75/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK
I load myself into the catapult and launch myself at the Burger King.
I dunk Burger KIng in a vat of Ye Olde Fryinge Oile.
Considering i'm not a person anymore yet i can hurt myself with a physical knife, i will attempt to manifest my power into helping those blue-robed cultists over there re-create their master in whole.
What again?
I cast Firaga.
His world shalt be entered on the day of legends.
Current avatar: Imp from Media Molecule's own Dreams
#TeamRowlet #TeamSun
FF14: Gold Zephzellian World: Zalera
My Characters
Hi! This is me, hello!
I'm Vevos! HIS INNER DEMON.
Get out! I'm Alice!
Hey! I'm Draco!
Please help my Pokemon grow: http://pfq.me/GoldHero101
Rolled a 6!!!
Apparently you absorbed a little too much starpower from the celestial guardian you absorbed, and you unleash all of your powers on The Burger King, tearing off his legs, and launching him up by at least 12 feet in the air. He falls down to the ground, and uses hamburger magic to reconnect his legs. -87 HP to The Burger King, and as a result of you carrying out so much energy, your hands are burned with a molten mark, dealing you 2 HP of damage.
Rolled a 1.
You ended up launching yourself into a pool of boiling vegetable oil instead of the Burger King. Your skin gets boiled up, making you deep fried. Luckily, you were able to escape with 4 HP shaved off of you.
Rolled a 5!
You push The Burger King into the boiling pot of vegetable oil that O5Fourteen was once in, causing his skin to scab up and deep fry as well. -38 HP.
Rolled a 6.
Together with the Lunatic Devotes, you summon the Lunatic Cultist from the Mysterious Tablet. You have gained an extra ally.
Rolled a 4.
You remember learning a spell from a specific game, and you casted Firaga. -27 HP to The Burger King, killing him in a fiery death.
YOU WON!
You and your fellow heroes go into the next room. You go into a strange forest-like land, despite the fact it's underground. Is that a...?
It is...
It's a Dogoo and a Boxer-X.
♥♥❣ - 8.75/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK